growing up in a single parent household essay

What I Learned From Growing Up With A Single Parent

Growing up with a single parent is special, but it's not easy. If I've learned anything throughout my 23 years on this planet, it's that a single parent will do anything it takes to make you happy and give you the best possible life they can. But doing any major task alone is stressful and difficult; you'll have your rough patches that are unique to a single parent household. However, that doesn't mean growing up with a single parent is any worse than growing up with any other type of family. In fact, from my experience, it may even be better.

A single parent is often not home

To a person who grew up in a two-parent household with a bunch of siblings, this may seem pretty sad. And I'm not going to lie, parts of it did make me sad, especially when I compared my home life to other kids'. But not getting to see my mom all the time was also my "normal." Every family is different and has a different daily routine. When you're the child of a single parent, you get used to the fact that they can't always be there. But the best part of my day was always when she came home from work at seven o'clock and I could finally see her and hug her and jump on her. It made me deeply appreciate the moments we did have together, and it made them more precious to me.

Other people play a huge part in raising you

A single parent just has to work, work, work — there's no way around it. So while you sometimes miss out on spending time with your parent, you also get to grow up with a network of people around you who chip in and care about you. It wasn't only my grandfather and aunt who watched me and raised me; it was babysitters, too. To this day, I'm still good family friends with my favorite babysitter, who now has a husband and two kids. As an only child of a single parent, I got to branch out and keep lasting relationships with others, even if I didn't have the luxury of spending more time with my mom.

You sometimes doubt how much your parent cares

As an adult, I know now that she was far from apathetic as she worked relentlessly to provide me with anything I wanted. No family, no matter how many people it is composed of, is ever 100 percent happy 100 percent of the time. The kind of unhappiness I dealt with was particular to a single parent home, but other kids have their own kind of unhappiness with their home life, too. It's just different.

It's stressful for the both of you

Since a young age, I've always struggled with depression and anxiety — it's just part of who I am. My mother knew this, too, as I had been in child therapy as early as eight years old. So one day when I was about 14 and I refused to answer any of her phone calls — for whatever stupid teenage reason — she absolutely lost it on me when she came home. She bolted upstairs to my room, busted through the door and was visibly freaked out. I had never seen her so upset and scared before. She had thought the worst, that something had happened to me, and it was then that I realized how hard it is for her to be a parent all on her own. I learned it wasn't just about me. I learned my mother had feelings, pressures, and stresses too, which is something you don't think about when you're young and your parents seem invincible to you.

You learn independence at a young age

The negative side of growing up with a single parent is feeling a sense of neglect at times. The positive side of that same issue, though, is that you learn independence at a very young age. Since your parent is often away from home and working, you have to grow up a little bit faster than your peers. You have to be the adult in the house when your parent isn't around. Because my mom was frequently absent, I had to learn how to be strong on my own. I had to learn how to be responsible for myself and for others. When my mom couldn't field an electrician's visit because she was at work, I had to do it. I also had to make sure the dogs were fed and properly taken care of. Simultaneously, it was about adopting a lot of self-discipline, because I needed to be the one who made sure all my work was done. My mom didn't pester me about my responsibilities because she had her own. As a result, I became more mature more quickly and learned things about the world and about growing up that my peers didn't learn until much later. Thick skin and independence is absolutely invaluable as you become an adult.

You realize exactly how hard they work for you

When I was little, I often asked the question, "Why isn't she here for me?" Now that I'm grown, I look at my mother in awe and ask the question, "How the hell does she do it all?" Not only is it impressive from on objective standpoint, but it is the best model for hard work that I've ever seen. Watching her work so hard ceaselessly has pushed me to do my absolute best. I'm always looking for more work to do and I never think that anything is impossible so long as you keep grinding away at it. I always want to give as much of myself as I possibly can to my work, and even still, I feel like I pale in comparison to the effort my mother has put in over the years. She's taught me that nothing worth having in life comes easily, and it's one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.

A two-parent household isn't automatically better

Growing up with a single parent came with its challenges, but I also grew up seeing what other kids' family lives were like. If I'm being frank, a lot of two-parent households I knew of were way worse than my own situation. Parents would fight or be estranged from each other, causing problems for their children. I've seen two-parent households with much less income than my single parent household had (not that we're rich, though), simply because they lacked motivation to do better in life. So no, just because a person has two parents doesn't mean they're better off than someone with a single parent. I've seen parents who are absolutely lazy and dysfunctional, and I've seen my mom who is a go-getter and a highly moral, kind person. You tell me what's better.

They're always going to be your superhero

My mom and I don't have a perfect relationship, but there's not one day that goes by that I don't see her as my superhero. I still deal with lingering feelings of neglect sometimes, but I also have a friend — not just a mother — that I can always go to. She doesn't know all the answers, but to me she is infinitely wise. She can't be everywhere at once, but she can do anything. If I've learned anything from growing up with a single mom, it's how to be a strong woman, a woman who is not afraid to strive and persevere when life gets tough, and a woman who will never back down even on her weakest day.

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Peer-reviewed

Research Article

Growing up with a single mother and life satisfaction in adulthood: A test of mediating and moderating factors

Affiliation German Institute for Economic Research, Berlin, Germany

* E-mail: [email protected]

Affiliation Department of Psychology, University of Warwick, Coventry, United Kingdom

• David Richter, 
• Sakari Lemola

• Published: June 15, 2017
• https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639
• Reader Comments

Single parenthood is increasingly common in Western societies but only little is known about its long-term effects. We therefore studied life satisfaction among 641 individuals (ages 18–66 years) who spent their entire childhood with a single mother, 1539 individuals who spent part of their childhood with both parents but then experienced parental separation, and 21,943 individuals who grew up with both parents. Individuals who grew up with a single mother for their entire childhood and to a lesser degree also individuals who experienced parental separation showed a small but persistent decrease in life satisfaction into old age controlling childhood socio-economic status. This decrease was partly mediated by worse adulthood living conditions related to socio-economic and educational success, physical health, social integration, and romantic relationship outcomes. No moderation by age, gender, and societal system where the childhood was spent (i.e. western oriented FRG or socialist GDR) was found.

Citation: Richter D, Lemola S (2017) Growing up with a single mother and life satisfaction in adulthood: A test of mediating and moderating factors. PLoS ONE 12(6): e0179639. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639

Editor: Jacobus P. van Wouwe, TNO, NETHERLANDS

Received: November 15, 2016; Accepted: June 1, 2017; Published: June 15, 2017

Copyright: © 2017 Richter, Lemola. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License , which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original author and source are credited.

Data Availability: Data are available from the German Socio-economic Panel Study (SOEP) due to third party restrictions (for requests, please contact [email protected] ). The scientific use file of the SOEP with anonymous microdata is made available free of charge to universities and research institutes for research and teaching purposes. The direct use of SOEP data is subject to the strict provisions of German data protection law. Therefore, signing a data distribution contract is a precondition for working with SOEP data. The data distribution contract can be requested with a form. The form is provided here: http://www.diw.de/documents/dokumentenarchiv/17/diw_01.c.88926.de/soep_application_contract.pdf . For further information the SOEPhotline at either [email protected] or +49 30 89789- 292 can be contacted.

Funding: The authors received no specific funding for this work.

Competing interests: The authors have declared that no competing interests exist.

Introduction

Single parenthood is increasingly common in Western societies, with 27.5% of children in the US currently being raised in single-parent households—more than 80% of them in households headed by single mothers [ 1 ]. Although the importance of studying the long-term consequences of single parenthood on children is clear, there is still a dearth of knowledge on the relative strength of long-term effects of single parenthood on children’s well-being at different stages of the adult life-span as well as on the involved mechanisms. Therefore, we study differences in life-satisfaction across adulthood related to differences in childhood family structure in a large representative German panel study. We focus on life-satisfaction in adulthood as a highly desirable characteristic which is assumed to play a crucial role for the populations' health, longevity, and citizenship [ 2 , 3 ].

There are three main pathways by which being raised by a single mother may produce a long-lasting impact on well-being in adulthood. First, children in single-mother households are more likely to suffer from less effective guardianship and a higher likelihood of family distress and conflicts (e.g., [ 4 ]). It is well established that two-parent families generally provide more emotional resources to children than single-parent families (e.g., [ 5 , 6 ]). In a related vein, children, whose parents divorce, exhibit slightly lower psychological well-being and social adjustment than children from stable two-parent families (e.g., [ 5 , 7 , 8 – 10 ]). The experience of parental divorce may cause further emotional distress to the child [ 5 , 11 ] and may eventually lead to an insecure attachment representation [ 5 , 12 ]. Prolonged family distress and insecure attachment representation may in turn complicate the development of social skills and make it more difficult to engage in satisfying intimate relationships which may eventually also hamper life-satisfaction during adulthood [ 12 ].

A second pathway of impact is related to the generally lower socio-economic status and increased risk of economic deprivation among children in single-mother households (e.g., [ 4 ]). Economic deprivation affects children's adjustment and well-being in multiple ways. Children from poor households are at increased risk to live in a low quality home environment and poor neighborhood conditions. They are more often exposed to harsh parental rearing practices and poor parental mental health, and they more often receive suboptimal nutrition and suffer from poor physical health [ 13 ]. Finally, economic deprivation also increases the likelihood of these children to enter careers with poor socio-economic prospects and to show poor social integration when they reach early adulthood [ 5 ].

A third pathway can be summarized as the ‘missing-father hypothesis.’ In popular science, it has been discussed that children need both a mother and a father, presuming that fathering involves distinct and necessary qualities which are particularly important for gender identity formation in boys (e.g., [ 14 , 15 ]). There is also evidence that the absence of a father is associated with an increase in antisocial behaviors in boys, including violence, criminality, and substance abuse [ 16 ] and a decrease in social adjustment in general [ 5 ].

The present study

In the present study, we examine whether general life satisfaction is lower among adults raised by a single mother than for adults raised in two-parent families. To do so, we compare the general life satisfaction of adults reared by their single mothers with respondents who grew up with both parents. As single parenthood and parental divorce are associated with parental socio-economic background and education, we statistically control for parents’ education and occupational prestige along with the respondents’ age and sex.

We expect to find a dose-response relationship, that is, that adults who spent at least part of their childhood in a two-parent family are affected less—despite the significant stresses associated with the experience of parental separation [ 5 ]. We expect a smaller decrease in general life satisfaction in this group, as the parent who left the family may still provide resources to support children when they enter adulthood—which is less likely when the parent has never lived together with the child.

Second, we test mediation models namely whether the association between childhood family structure and general adulthood life satisfaction is mediated by life outcomes that may be summarized as adulthood life success, including educational attainment, employment status, occupational prestige, net income, physical health, integration into social networks, and success in romantic relationships as there is evidence that these life-circumstances are affected in a negative way by growing up in a single parent household and/or by having experienced parental divorce [ 5 ]. We hypothesize that differences in these life circumstances during adulthood partly explain the difference in general adulthood life satisfaction between individuals who have been raised by single mothers and their counterparts who grew up with both parents.

Third, we test moderation of the effects by three possible moderating variables, age, gender, and societal system where the children grew up. Regarding age differences one might assume that the effects of single parenthood wane across the adult life-span following the general psychological principle that the longer ago a negative experience the smaller the imposed impact (e.g., [ 17 ]). Regarding gender differences we test the idea frequently echoed in popular science, namely that men who were raised by single mothers are more disadvantaged in adulthood than their female counterparts. Finally, regarding the question if different societal systems differentially affect the role of childhood family settings for adulthood life satisfaction we compare individuals who grew up in the Federal Republic of Germany and in the German Democratic Republic. The western oriented Federal Republic of Germany (FRG) and the socialist German Democratic Republic (GDR), which existed between 1949 and 1990, differed sharply in terms of several variables that may possibly be relevant for single parent families namely divorce rate, female participation in the labor market, and child day-care infrastructure. The divorce rate in the socialist GDR was nearly twice as high as in the FRG and female participation in the labor market was at 89% compared to 55% in the FRG in 1990 [ 18 ]. Even more drastic difference existed with regard to the child day-care infrastructure; more than half of the children who grew up in the socialist GDR were in regular day-care, which was free of charge, while less than 2% were in day-care in the FRG at the end of the 1980s [ 19 ]. Due to these differences we expect that children who grew up with single mothers in the socialist GDR were less disadvantaged compared to their counterparts who grew up with both parents than children who grew up with single mothers in the FRG; we expect this, as the higher divorce-rate may have reduced the stigma associated with single parenthood in the GDR, moreover, single motherhood was possibly related with relatively less economic burden in the GDR compared to the FRG.

The data are from the SOEP (Version 30), which is an ongoing, nationally representative longitudinal study of private households in Germany running since 1984. Comprehensive information about the data collection, design, respondents, variables, and assessment procedures is reported in Wagner, Frick, and Schupp [ 20 ].

The sample comprised of 26,936 adults born after 1946, of whom 24,123 adults between the ages of 17 and 66 years ( M = 37.86 years, SD = 13.50 years; 52.1% female) were analyzed in the present paper. Given the present study’s focus on the effect of single parenthood vs. growing up with both parents, we categorized the participants into three subgroups: individuals who lived with both parents up to the age of 15 ( n = 21,943), those whose parents separated and who lived with their mothers for between one and fourteen years ( n = 1539), and those who lived with a single mother up to the age of 15 ( n = 641). Data from 2813 respondents were excluded who had spent part of their childhood in different family settings (e.g., raised by the mother and a new partner, by a single father with or without a new partner, or by other relatives; among the excluded respondents there were 207 individuals who grew up with a single father for 1–14 years and 21 individuals who grew up with a single father for 15 years, respectively).

Regarding the societal system where the children grew up, in the FRG, 18,186 respondents grew up with both parents up to the age of fifteen, 1234 lived with their mothers for between one and fourteen years, and 483 lived with a single mother up to the age of fifteen. In the former GDR, 3757 respondents grew up with both parents up to the age of fifteen, 305 lived with their mothers for between one and fourteen years, and 158 lived with a single mother up to the age of fifteen.

Although life satisfaction has been measured since the very beginning of the SOEP study in 1984, the information on where respondents had spent the first fifteen years of their lives was only available for respondents who entered the panel after the year 2000. During the fourteen years of data collection, respondents reported their general life satisfaction (‘All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life in general?’) at the end of each yearly interview using an 11-point scale ranging from 0 ( completely dissatisfied ) to 10 ( completely satisfied ), a measure with high reported reliability and validity [ 21 ]. To minimize error variance and to get a global indicator of adult well-being, general life satisfaction was estimated by aggregating all data available to build a mean-score ( M = 7.33, SD = 1.49). On average, respondents provided 4.71 ( SD = 4.29; range = 1–14) data points of general life satisfaction.

When entering the panel study, respondents reported where they had grown up in the first fifteen years of their life (“How many years of your childhood (up until age fifteen) did you live with the following persons? Please round off to the nearest year”). For our analyses, we used data from the response options “with both your father and mother (biological or adoptive)” and “with your mother without a new husband or partner”.

The participants also reported their socio-economic status (SES) in childhood (i.e., their parents’ education and occupational prestige), their own SES in adulthood (i.e., employment status, occupational prestige, education, and net income), their physical health status during adulthood (the number of visits to the doctor, reverse-coded), their social integration in adulthood (number of friends, number of visits to/from friends, and number of visits to/from family members), and success in romantic relationships (their relationship status and if they were divorced). Descriptive statistics of the study variables for the three subgroups are presented in Table 1 .

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https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.t001

Occupational prestige was scored from 13 to 78 using the Standard International Occupation Prestige Score index (SIOPS; [ 22 ]). Occupational prestige was not available for 5377 (22.3%) of the respondents and for 12,331 (51.1%) mothers and 7097 (29.4%) fathers of respondents. In most cases these individuals had no occupational prestige due to being homemakers or being unemployed. In rare cases, however, participants also did not know their parents’ occupation. Missing occupational prestige was scored with the lowest value possible following the rationale that being unemployed or homemaker is regarded as lower in prestige than all other paid work. Respondents’ general occupational prestige was estimated by calculating the mean of all yearly data available.

Education of parents measured when respondents entered the panel and scored from 1 to 3 (no education [ 1 ]: no school attendance, no degree obtained, other degree obtained, or respondent did not know; low education [ 2 ]: lower-track secondary school; and high education [ 3 ]: intermediate-track or upper-track secondary school). Education of respondents was scored using the International Standard Classification of Education (ISCED-1997; [ 23 ]. Prior to the analyses respondents’ ISCED-Scores were collapsed into three categories (low education [ 1 ]: ISCED-Scores 0, 1, and 2; medium education [ 2 ]: ISCED-Scores 3 and 4; and high education [ 3 ]: ISCED-Scores 5 and 6). Missing information on education ( n = 138, 0.6%) was scored as the lowest category.

Yearly data on the employment status of respondents were coded to generate a continuous index (full-time employment was coded 1.0, regular part-time employment or vocational training were coded 0.5, marginal, irregular part-time employment was coded 0.25, and not employed was coded 0.0) and collapsed into a mean score to represent the general employments status of respondents across the years they reported their life satisfaction.

The number of doctor visits as well as their generalized monthly net income in EUR were estimated by calculating the mean of all yearly data available.

Social network status was measured in the years 2003, 2008, and 2013. Respondents reported how often they “visited or were visited by neighbors, friends, or acquaintances” and how often they “visited or were visited by family members or relatives” on a 1 ( daily ) to 5 ( never ) scale. In the analysis, the scales of these variables were reversed. In addition, respondents answered the question “how many close friends would you say that you have?”. Respondents’ general social network status was estimated by calculating the mean of all data available.

Respondents’ partnership status was coded (with partner was coded 1.0, no partner was coded 0.0) and collapsed into a mean score to represent the respondent’s general relationship status across the years they reported their life satisfaction. Similarly, we coded whether respondents’ marital status was “divorced” (divorced was coded 1.0, all other marital statuses were coded 0.0) for the years they reported their life satisfaction and collapsed the data into a mean score.

Intercorrelations of all study variables are depicted in S1 Table .

In a first step, respondents’ z-standardized general life satisfaction served as the dependent variable in hierarchical multiple regression analyses. In this analysis, dummy-coded variables were used to represent the childhood family settings of the subgroups. These analyses controlled respondents’ age, age 2 , age 3 , and sex as well as parents’ education (dummy coded) and parents’ occupational prestige (standardized). Age was centered before age 2 and age 3 were calculated.

In a second step, analyses of variance were conducted to test whether indicators of adulthood life outcomes including adulthood SES, physical health, social integration, and success in romantic relationships varied significantly in the three aforementioned subgroups. Again, respondents’ age, age 2 , age 3 , and sex as well as parents’ education (dummy coded) and occupational prestige (standardized) were entered into the equations to control for these background variables.

In a third step, mediation analyses were conducted to test whether differences in adulthood life satisfaction related to childhood family structure were mediated by indicators of adulthood life outcomes including adulthood SES, physical health, social integration, and success in romantic relationships in adulthood. These possible mediators of the effect of childhood family settings on general life satisfaction were entered in three blocks. In model 1 (baseline model), parents’ education (dummy coded) and occupational prestige (standardized) were included into the equation to control for childhood SES. In model 2, respondents’ own education (dummy coded), occupational prestige (standardized), employment status (centered), and net income (standardized) were entered as one block representing adulthood SES. In model 3, respondents’ adulthood physical health (number of doctor visits, reverse coded, and centered) was entered to the equation. Finally, in model 4 respondents’ number of friends (centered), visits to/from friends (centered), visits to/from family members (centered), partnership status (centered), and having been divorced (centered) were entered as one block representing adulthood social integration and success in romantic relationships.

First, we compared the variance explained by childhood family settings (only controlling age, age 2 , age 3 , and sex) with the variance that childhood family settings explained after the control variables of model 1 (childhood SES) had been entered to the regression model. Second, we compared the variance explained by childhood family settings in model 1 (only controlling childhood SES) with the variance that childhood family settings explained after the mediators of model 2 (adulthood SES) had been entered to the regression model. Third, we compared the variance explained by the childhood family settings in model 2 with the variance that childhood family settings explained after the mediators of model 3 (model 2 mediators plus physical health) had been entered to the regression model. Finally, we compared the variance explained by the childhood family settings in model 3 with the variance that childhood family settings explained after the mediators of model 4 (model 3 mediators plus adulthood social integration and success in romantic relationships) had been entered to the regression model.

Additionally, we also evaluated indirect paths of childhood family settings on adulthood general life satisfaction via these mediators employing the Structural Equation Modeling module of stata 13. Here, all possible indirect paths were tested in individual models controlling age, age 2 , age 3 , sex, and childhood SES.

In a fourth step, we included interaction terms into the regression analyses to analyze if the effects of the childhood family structure on adulthood life satisfaction varied depending on respondents’ sex and age when completing the questionnaire following the procedure proposed by Aiken and West [ 24 ]. In addition, we tested whether associations of the different childhood family settings with general life satisfaction in adulthood differed for individuals who grew up in the FRG or the GDR.

The analyses were conducted with SPSS 20 and stata 13.

Childhood family settings and adulthood life satisfaction

The main analyses showed a significant association of the different childhood family settings with general life satisfaction. Compared to people raised by both parents, respondents reared by a single mother for between 1 and 14 years or for the entire first 15 years of their lives reported significantly lower general life satisfaction than the group reared by both parents. The effect sizes for the difference in life satisfaction between the two groups reared by a single mother and the group reared by both parents were in the small range (1–14 years: d = 0.10 p < .001, entire first 15 years: d = 0.19, p < .001). Fig 1A depicts the association between childhood family settings and adulthood life satisfaction across the adult life-span controlling for childhood SES. The values underlying Fig 1A are reported in Table 2 , Model 1. The association between childhood family settings and adulthood life satisfaction was not moderated by respondents’ age or respondents’ sex (for further details see below).

A. Association of general life satisfaction with childhood family settings across the adult life-span controlling for respondents’ sex and childhood SES. 1B. Association of adulthood life outcomes (adulthood SES, physical health, social integration, and romantic relationship success) with childhood family settings controlling for respondents’ sex, age, and childhood SES.

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.g001

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.t002

Childhood family settings and adulthood life circumstances

Fig 1B depicts the various domains of adult life outcomes including adulthood SES, physical health, adulthood social integration, and romantic relationship success separately for individuals who grew up with both parents, who lived with a single mother for between one and 14 years (i.e., individuals whose parents separated at some point in childhood), or who spent their first 15 years living with a single mother, controlling for childhood SES. Growing up with a single mother was associated with lower SES in childhood including lower parental education and occupational prestige (mother’s education p < .01, all other p s < .001). Growing up with a single mother was further related to the participants’ own SES in adulthood including employment status, occupational prestige, and net income. This association exhibited evidence of a dose-response relationship: individuals who spent their first 15 years living with a single mother reported lower SES in adulthood than individuals who spent between 1 and 14 years living with a single mother, who again were lower than their counterparts who lived with both parents throughout childhood, controlling for their childhood SES (all linear trends p < 0.05).

Participants who spent their first 15 years with a single mother further showed a lower degree of social integration during adulthood, including a smaller number of friends and fewer visits to/from family as well as less success in romantic relationships, including a lower probability of living with a partner and a higher probability of having been divorced, controlling for childhood SES (linear trends p < 0.05). Again the effect was somewhat stronger for participants who lived with a single mother for their first 15 years compared to their counterparts whose parents separated at some point during childhood. Generally, the effect sizes were in the modest range, and no significant association between childhood family settings and physical health (number of doctor visits, reverse-coded) and number of visits to/from friends was revealed after controlling childhood SES (see also S2 Table ).

Mediation of the effect on life satisfaction by adulthood life circumstances

Mediation analyses revealed that a large part of the variance in life satisfaction between different childhood family settings was explained by childhood SES, including differences in the education and occupational prestige of the respondents’ parents (i.e., 29% of the variance; see Table 2 , Model 1). Inclusion of respondents’ own education, occupational prestige, employment status, and net income during adulthood into the model attenuated the association of the different childhood family settings with general life satisfaction by a further 20% (Model 2). Inclusion of physical health (Model 3) attenuated the association of the different childhood family settings with life satisfaction by a further 6%. Finally, inclusion of respondents’ social integration and success in romantic relationships attenuated the association of the different childhood family settings with life satisfaction by a further 16% (Model 4). However, the differences in general life satisfaction between respondents who lived with both parents for their first 15 years of life and either group of respondents reared by a single mother remained significant in all models, even when all adulthood life circumstances were controlled for.

Evaluation of the indirect paths between ‘growing up with a single mother for 1–14 years vs. with both parents’ and general life satisfaction revealed that paths mediated by respondents’ education, employment status, physical health, and number of friends were significant (p < 0.05, see Fig 2 ). Regarding indirect paths between ‘growing up with a single mother for the entire childhood vs. with both parents’ and general life satisfaction, paths mediated by respondents’ education, employment status, occupational prestige, net income, number of friends, visits to/from family, partnership status, and experience of divorce in adulthood were significant (p < 0.05, see Fig 2 ).

Indirect paths were estimated separately in individual models but illustrated here together in one model for presentational parsimony. All models controlled age, age2, age3, sex, and childhood SES. Values are unstandardized path coefficients with 95% confidence limits. Life satisfaction, occupational prestige and net income were standardized; employment status, physical health (number of doctor visits, reverse coded), number of friends, visits to/from family, partnership status, and having been divorced were centered.

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.g002

Moderation of the effect of life circumstances on life satisfaction by sex

Testing sex differences regarding the role of these adulthood life circumstances for life satisfaction revealed that physical health (i.e., the reverse-coded number of doctor visits; men: β = .09, t = 2.46, p > .05, women: β = .20, t = 5.80, p < .001, sex × physical health interaction: t = 2.66, p < .01) and number of friends (men: β = .05, t = 1.17, p = .241, women: β = .16, t = 4.61, p < .001, sex × number of friends interaction: t = 2.54, p < .01) were more strongly associated with life satisfaction among women who spent between 1 and 14 years of their childhood living with a single mother when compared to their male counterparts. No respective interactions with sex were found for those who spent 15 years living with a single mother.

Moderation of the effect of childhood family settings on life satisfaction by age, sex, and societal system (FGR vs. GDR)

Moderation effects of the association between childhood family settings and adulthood life satisfaction by respondents’ age and respondents’ sex were non-significant when controlling for respondents’ childhood SES (age: F (6, 24104) = 0.807, p = .564, all age × years with single mother interactions: t < 0.45, p > .656; sex: F (2, 24108) = 2.554, p = .078, sex × 1–14 years with single mother interaction: t = 1.74, p = .081, sex × 15 years with single mother interaction: t = 1.51, p = .131), indicating that the effect does not change with age and does not differ between men and women. In addition, the association between childhood family settings and adulthood life satisfaction did not differ significantly between individuals who grew up in the FGR or the GDR ( F (2, 24107) = 0.734, p = .480, Societal System × 1–14 years with single mother interaction: t = 1.14, p = .253, Societal System × 15 years with single mother interaction: t = 0.34, p = .731). This effect remained non-significant ( F (2, 13687) = 0.834, p = .453) when the sample was restricted to individuals born between 1946 and 1974 who lived for their whole childhood until the age of fifteen in the FRG or GDR, respectively.

This is the first study to show that growing up with a single mother is related to a stable although modest reduction in general life satisfaction across the adult life-span until old age when adjusting for poor childhood SES. Individuals who spent their entire first 15 years of life living with a single mother showed on average approximately twice the reduction in life satisfaction compared to individuals who spent only part of their first 15 years with a single mother, which is consistent with a dose-response relationship. This suggests that growing up with a single mother throughout all of childhood and early adolescence and the related lack of resources from the father more than outweighs the well-described negative effects related to parental separation [ 5 , 7 – 9 ].

The reduction in adulthood life satisfaction was partially mediated by the individuals’ living conditions, including their lower socio-economic status and educational level, lower physical health status, and poor social integration and romantic success in adulthood. This finding is consistent with studies on adult well-being after parental divorce [ 5 , 25 ]. The decrease in adulthood life satisfaction was not moderated by age, thus we could not find waning of the effect of single parenthood with increasing distance to childhood. This is in contrast to evidence on negative life events during adulthood including divorce, bereavement, and unemployment for which the general principle of adaptation holds positing that the impact of an negative event decreases with increasing time since the event has happened (e.g., [ 17 , 26 ]). However, and in contrast to studies on effects of negative life events during adulthood we here studied long-term effects of enduring childhood family settings which are possibly more likely to lead to long-term changes to the set-point of general life-satisfaction during adulthood. Moreover, we could not find evidence supporting the widely held notion from popular science that boys are more affected than girls by the absence of their fathers. However, we did find that in females who experienced parental separation during childhood, the effect was more strongly mediated by poor physical health and a smaller number of friends than in their male counterparts.

Finally, we did not find evidence for differential associations between growing up with a single mother in the western oriented FRG compared to the socialist GDR––this although one might expect that the higher divorce rate in the GDR could have reduced the stigma associated with single parenthood in the GDR. Moreover, one might expect that the higher rate of female participation in the work force as well as the higher number of children in day-care in the socialist GDR might have mitigated inequalities between children raised in single parent households compared to children from two-parent households in the GDR.

However, our finding of a non-significant difference between the FRG and the GDR is consistent with comparisons between children raised by single parents in states with well-established welfare systems such as Norway as compared to children from single parents from states with less well-established welfare systems such as the US who neither found any differences [ 27 ]. One explanation for the lack of differences in such comparisons can be summarized by a relative deprivation perspective which holds that existing small economic differences may still matter a lot in societies with a more even distribution of goods and which is in contrast to an absolute economic deprivation perspective [ 26 ]. A second explanation for finding no differences between the FRG and the GDR is that our respondents who grew up in the GDR responded to the study many years after the breakdown of the socialist state of the GDR in 1990. The breakdown of the socialist system has lead to many changes and new economic hardships to a part of the population [ 28 ]. It remains possible that such economic hardships might have stroke adults who grew up with a single mother more strongly than their counterparts who grew up in two-parent families as they possibly also received less support from their father while they were already adults. A third explanation for finding no differences between the FRG and the GDR is that the socio-emotional resources provided by the father were also lacking in single-parent households in the GDR. The deprivation from the father's socio-emotional resources may have outbalanced the effects of some possibly more favorable societal circumstances for single-parents in the GDR.

As a limitation of the study, it remains impossible to derive causality as growing up in a single-mother household and adulthood life satisfaction might both be influenced by a third variable such as genetic factors. In this respect, there is evidence that the risk of divorce is up to 30–40% hereditary which is mediated by personality traits such as negative affectivity [ 29 ]. In a similar vein, it is possible that the direction of the causal influence between the factors that we tested as mediators and life satisfaction are different than we have specified them. For instance it is possible that the relationship between physical health and life satisfaction is reverse involving an impact of life satisfaction on physical health.

A further limitation lies in the measurement of the childhood family settings which were reported retrospectively during adulthood. While it may be assumed that adults are able to reliably report whether they spent the entire childhood vs. only a part of their childhood with a single mother, this variable may still be subject to memory distortions. Furthermore, regarding the possible mediating factors of the effect of childhood family settings on adulthood life satisfaction, physical health could have been measured in a more sophisticated fashion. In the present study it was assessed by the number of visits to the doctor, while more objective measures of physical health such as a doctor’s examinations or physical fitness tests might have revealed different findings.

In conclusion, the present study shows that growing up with a single mother—in particular if the father is absent for the entire childhood—predicts a small but stable decrease in life satisfaction across adulthood that is partly explained by lower socio-economic status and educational achievement, inferior physical health, poor social integration, and lower likelihood of romantic relationship success in adulthood. Contrary to expectations this effect was not moderated by sex, age, or the societal system in which the childhood was spent. Thus, the differences in life satisfaction were similar for younger and older, male and female, as well as participants who spent their childhood in the western oriented FRG or in the socialistic GDR.

Future cross-cultural research comparing effects of family settings on adulthood life-outcomes in several studies from different cultures may identify macro-level protective factors that could be targeted to improve the prospects of single parents and their children.

Supporting information

S1 table. intercorrelations of study variables..

* p < .05. ** p < .01. *** p < .001.

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.s001

S2 Table. Estimated marginal means of adulthood life circumstances by childhood family settings controlling participants' sex, age, and childhood SES (z-standardized on full sample; M , SE in brackets) .

Values with different superscripts vary significantly ( p < 0.05; Bonferroni-corrected).

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.s002

S1 File. SPSS-Syntax of the main analyses. Stata-syntax of the mediation analyses.

Those not using SPSS or stata may check the included output-file.

https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0179639.s003

Author Contributions

• Conceptualization: SL DR.
• Data curation: DR.
• Formal analysis: DR.
• Methodology: SL DR.
• Validation: SL DR.
• Visualization: SL DR.
• Writing – original draft: SL DR.
• Writing – review & editing: SL DR.
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Growing Up With a Single Parent

What hurts, what helps.

• Sara McLanahan and Gary D. Sandefur
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• Language: English
• Publisher: Harvard University Press
• Copyright year: 1997
• Audience: Professional and scholarly;
• Main content: 208
• Published: July 1, 2009
• ISBN: 9780674040861

Growing up in a single parent household Essay Example

• Pages: 5 (1362 words)
• Published: April 2, 2021

Growing up in a household that does not have a father is not only an intriguing experience but also denies you the paternal care. Situations like those makes us vulnerable to many unpleasant conditions, more so, at the face of the friends that we flock with. Life becomes defenseless as one of the key security stakeholders in the family is not present. In the midst of our cohorts, there are several rights that we tend to be denied in one way or another. For instance, we cannot stand tall and express how our respective families thrive simply because of inadequacy of some members. Therefore, it is translated as if we know less about where we are coming from and hence obliged to shut up when such topics emanates.

Single parent families have been increasing drastically in the past century. I

t is astonishing to realize that most of the single parent households are composed of mother. We have also noticed that fathers are dying a bit earlier compared to mothers hence the increased number families composed of women. In addition, it has come to our attention that it’s not death only that yields this. In the United States, there was a study that projected a third of all the children are born to unwed parents(Downey et al 878).

We claim that children raised by one biological parent have equal advantages compared to those who are brought up by both biological parents. Some people argues on the basis of the parental well-being such as race, education, residence or origin. It is true that during children raring, a lot of input is expected from both prime participants in the famil

(Dixon 123).By any chance, it doesn’t depend on any other factor rather than presence, communication and mentorship. A father is the pillar for guiding the family. We have come to a consensus that upon investing the normal living norms, it is revealed that many families with mother only school drop outs are prevalent. The father is a sign of leadership and authority in a family, and therefore, hardly will one wish to go against him because the consequences may be adverse.

Single parent household have condensed capital base compared to straight families. Nowadays, there has been advocacy of equality globally. Women have raised and championing their voices through non-governmental organizations and other tools for advocacy. Therefore, they have started working hard as men. Families composed of a career woman and man have a good capital base for thriving of children. Since time immemorial, men have been viewed as the people who provide all the necessities that are needed in the family (McLanahan, Sarah and Gary 113). This calls for deficiency when a father is missing. We have carefully examined the families that are headed by a female-parent and realized that in most of them children live in the pangs of poverty. When we compare two single parents parent families composed of a father and mother respectively, we came to a conclusion that poverty is more enhanced in those that are headed by mothers only.

Disconnection between child and father increases the chances for uncertainty in future. A child while growing up need somebody to continue encouraging him or her. Moreover, this becomes worst to the side of girls whereby the researchers say that the father-daughter relationship shapes

the future of a girl. We know that the cordial relationship in the family takes place under the presence of the opposite sex. In that case, the mother-headed single family which have a daughter, is more likely for the daughter to lose the script of relation with different gender. The girl tend to take life for granted and to some extent become disadvantageous to parents to the girl and her future family.

Precisely, children education relies on the hands of their fathers. Researchers in the United States have revealed statistics that clearly shows that a mother only concerns with basic needs of the children(Dixon 97). Fathers are much concerned with other things beyond food, shelter and clothing. This triggers the father to have interest on the way the child in performing in school and other related co-curricular activities. In fact, fathers are the ones who knows the child potential in schools. After children retiring back home from school, mothers are busy cleaning them and then cooking as the fathers struggles with the assignments of the child, making sure that he or she has a glimpse of what was impacted during the day.

In social support and kinship, the presence of a father is a big achievement. This entails the way members of the family actively participates in shaping the future of the child in terms of relationship with other people. It is true that mothers are the greatest element of warmth of the child in terms of behavior. We have seen that in all the families that have responsible fathers, the behavior is boosted. In addition, the presence of other members of the extended family doubles the

benefits that the child will gain. The father has the ability shape the relationship between the child and the community(Downey et al 878). Female-headed single families have inadequate personnel to provide this. Therefore, the children will be integrated to the community and immediately learn what is being provided by it without any query. The presence of the father provide an insight into pros and cons of the environment the family is built upon. Moreover, the father will tactfully show the child how to get connected to the community in a witty way, embracing that which is good and abhor the vices. This assist the child to become a better person who is self-reliant on decision matters.

The perception of single mothers is not welcoming since time immemorial. Murphy Brown, the lead character in the popular television in the United States, was condemned by the Vice President Dan Quayle in 1992, for giving birth out of wedlock (Downey et al 878). The members of the public painted the scene with a lot of foul sentiments about single mothers. Some said that it was a breeding ground for poverty, delinquency, and high school failure. The media personality went through hard time trying to recuperate from tinted image that was going viral among the nationality. There was a group that claimed that single motherhood is harmful and it leads to stigmatization of the children. This clearly shows the position of the community as far as single motherhood is concerned.

In the media, things have never been better to single motherhood. Times without number there arises critics to them. In London, statistics shows that media has been spreading the stigma until

single mothers have faced humiliation to the eyes of the public. One of the media house says that social media alone have contributed to negative comments yielding to job refusal and tenancies. In a poll conducted there, 1500 single mother interviewed believed that in the past two years, their reputation has been damaged by 20 percent via the media (Dixon 73). Even though, some media houses still cling that a single mother needs to be celebrated for the brave of bringing up her children alone. Gingerbread, one of the media house in Britain interviewed the single mothers ahead of mothers ‘day celebration. The executive of the group eludes that single mothers are doing fantastic job in the community. He adds that it is disheartening to see the frustrations that they are exposed to in each single day. During the time of release, they gave some statistics which are nerve-wakening. In fact, 26 percent of the families in Britain are single parents, two-thirds of them are living under difficult circumstances of overwhelming workload to sustain their families (Moynihan et al 68).

• Dixon, Patricia S. Protective Factors for african American Children in Single-Parent-female Headed Households. USA: Roosevelt University, 2006.
• Downey, Douglas B., James W. Ainsworth-Darnell, and Mikaela J. Dufur. "Sex of Parent And Children's Well-Being In Single-Parent Households". Journal of Marriage and the Family 60.4 (1998): 878. Web.
• McLanahan, Sarah and Gary Sandeefur. Growing up with a single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps. London: Harvad University Press, 1994.
• Moynihan, Daniel P, Timothy M. Smeeding, and Lee Rainwater. The Future of the Family. , 2004. Internet resource.
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Raising Kids in Single-Parent Households

Readers react to a guest essay arguing that the growing number of such households is bad for the children.

To the Editor:

Re “ The Rise of Single-Parent Families Is Bad for Kids ,” by Melissa S. Kearney (Opinion guest essay, Sept. 20):

Ms. Kearney does little more than moralize, concluding that single parenthood is “hurting our children” because children “do better when they are raised in two-parent homes.” She condescendingly explains how it is “a simple fact of math” that one-parent families have less income than two-parent families while ignoring the existence of child support laws.

What Ms. Kearney is missing is that the steep rise in single-parent families could be due to the fact that women did not even have a viable option of being single parents only a few decades ago. They would not have been able to pursue a stable career that could support their children, and definitely could not rely on high-quality, publicly supported child care.

While one could argue that those things are not attainable enough now, it’s all relative. There are more financial opportunities for women and support for parents than in the past, so people can begin to design the healthiest romantic and family structure that works for them. That’s a good thing.

As a single parent myself, I think about what makes the life I enjoy possible: financial security through a union job, child support, universal prekindergarten, quality health care, a community with great babysitters as neighbors and access to homeownership.

With these opportunities and support in place, I’m able to raise my child in the happiest home of my own design, with agency to decide whether a partner is a net positive. The focus should be less on defining the ideal family structure and more on supporting all parents so that no one stays in a marriage out of necessity.

Allison Rasko Washington

Melissa S. Kearney presents the financial discrepancies experienced between two-parent families and single-parent families as the primary cause of poorer outcomes for the single-parent children.

Of potentially equal significance is the psychological experience of a single parent. A co-parent offers support and may ameliorate adverse behaviors of one parent toward their children.

An alliance between parents allows both to provide and develop appropriate responses to the developmental needs of their children in a mutually supportive fashion.

Single parents do not have this. They must make the difficult decisions in raising children alone. For many this will not be an issue for either parent or child, but for others it can be a source of tension. This may be manifested in the children’s school performance or later in life.

Sidney Weissman Highland Park, Ill. The writer is a clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.

Melissa S. Kearney believes that “surely we as a society can openly recognize the advantages of a two-parent home … without stigmatizing single parents and their children,” yet even in her essay arguing for this she’s unable to do so. Her essay does nothing but stigmatize single-parent families, mine included (I am college-educated, for the record — there are, in fact, many of us).

Surely The New York Times could have found someone to present this perspective with more sensitivity and an ounce of understanding of the complexities and variations among single-parent households. We are not a monolith.

I would write more, but I don’t have time — I’ve got to figure out what I can do to make sure my son does not “get in trouble in school or with the law,” as Ms. Kearney says is more likely growing up in a home without a dad.

Sarah McKaig Santa Monica, Calif.

President Biden has already found a solution to child poverty without any need to address so-called “two-parent privilege.” It’s not another parent, a ring or family values, as Melissa S. Kearney seems to maintain. It’s financial support in the form of expansions to the child tax credit and earned-income tax credit. However, they have expired, contributing to child poverty more than doubling in 2022.

Gayle Gubman Riesser Lawrenceville, N.J.

What is missing from the article is the fact that 80 percent of the single-parent families have a woman as head of household. The question that is not answered in the article is why are women raising a family without the father of the children present in the household?

Granted that some husbands are not good partners or providers, and may be abusive, but does that explain the entire 80 percent? The article covers many aspects of how to improve the quality of life for single-parent families, and the disparities between the quality of life in single-parent and two-parent families, but it does not drill down on why single-parent families are on an explosive rise.

Edward Frost Ipswich, Mass.

My thanks to Prof. Melissa S. Kearney. For teachers like me, the difference in student attendance, achievement and behavior in students from two- versus one-parent homes is stark and blazingly obvious. Shame on us for ignoring what’s in front of us, and kudos to those brave enough to share unpopular truths.

Christine Allen Dublin

With all due respect, I don’t agree with Melissa S. Kearney’s analysis. In my many years as an elementary school teacher I saw plenty of two-parent families with difficult children as well as the well-behaved and competent ones from single-parent homes.

Many children are better off without two adults who are constantly fighting and making a household filled with strife. Look around at the many famous individuals from the arts to politics who have come from one-parent homes and thrived.

What needs to be done is not condemn those who are unable or unwilling to be part of a two-parent family and instead spend money to fix the root of this: poverty, along with lack of education, parenting skills training, job training, affordable health care and child care. Improve these things and children might grow up to be better people as well as better parents.

Daina Schuman Stamford, Conn.

While there are some valid points in this Opinion piece, such as the need for more governmental support for lower-income single-parent families, I disagree with the premise that single-parent families are bad for kids.

As a single adoptive mother I have raised my child on one income and have not received any governmental support. I ensured that my child had day care so that I could work full time.

My child has not suffered any of the detriments cited in this piece and is in fact earning a higher income than I had. I doubt that I am the only single parent who has raised a child to be a successful, productive, well-rounded, intelligent and secure young adult.

I fail to see how a dual-income, college-educated, married couple is the only good way to raise a kid.

Regina M. Adducci Bethel, Conn.

I was a single foster parent. I ended up adopting my first placement.

• I've always wanted kids but never found a partner to build a family with. 
• I became a licensed foster parent and four months later a 2-week-old baby was placed with me.
• Days before her first birthday I legally adopted her. 

I had always wanted kids. When it seemed like I would never find Mr. Right , I decided to build my family alone. I learned about fostering and became a licensed foster parent . I felt I had a good support team with my sister and a few close friends. Surprisingly, my boss said he was on board with the idea, though he wasn't much of a family person.

Just four months after being licensed, a two-week-old girl was placed in my home on a Friday afternoon in February. I was over the moon at the idea of raising a newborn though I knew it might be only temporary.

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After getting settled over the weekend, I had to figure out what to do about my job as a leasing agent for an apartment complex. I had very little PTO , and the baby was too young to go to day care. With my boss's approval, I decided to take her to work temporarily. The baby slept under my desk and my receptionist would watch her while I showed apartments to prospective tenants.

I almost lost my job

The arrangement only lasted a couple of weeks before my boss gave me an ultimatum: either find somewhere else to leave the baby, or I would lose my job. He refused to allow me to use my vacation time or unpaid leave, saying I was needed at work. Though I knew it was illegal to refuse time off for someone who had gone through childbirth, I wasn't sure fostering worked the same way. I had to find a solution now.

I found a day care that would take a 4-week-old baby, which allowed me to go back to work. I began job-hunting and soon found a position with a more understanding employer.

The birth mom eventually gave up her rights

My next challenge came with the baby's one-hour visits with her mother once a week. Though foster parents aren't required to transport the children to parental visits, my caseworker threatened to remove the baby from my care if I refused. My heart filled with fear, I agreed immediately though I didn't know how I could make it work. My sister later offered to help transport the baby every other week, solving another problem.

I had no idea what would happen with the baby in the long term. The mother wasn't meeting the requirements to have the baby returned to her and finally decided to give up her rights. The team changed the plan to adoption. As the foster parent, I had the right to seek adoption. In many cases, the foster parents are granted adoption rights, but I knew I had a challenge to prove I was a better choice than a two-parent home.

The process lasted several months, and I was anxious about losing this child I had come to love as my own. Though I had friends to share my struggles with, I still felt alone. They couldn't understand the overwhelming fear of loss that I dealt with. Fortunately, the team approved me as the adoptive parent.

On a warm, sunny day in February, two days before her first birthday, I stood with my little girl in front of the judge who approved the adoption . The challenges of the past year faded away as I held my new daughter in my arms.

Though new challenges awaited, I would face them with the same faith and determination as an example to my daughter about overcoming difficult odds together.

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