emotional intelligence self reflection essay

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Don’t Underestimate the Power of Self-Reflection

• James R. Bailey
• Scheherazade Rehman

Focus on moments of surprise, failure, and frustration.

Research shows the habit of reflection can separate extraordinary professionals from mediocre ones. But how do you sort which experiences are most significant for your development?

• To answer this questions, the authors asked 442 executives to reflect on which experiences most advanced their professional development and had the most impact on making them better leaders.
• Three distinct themes arose through their analysis: surprise, frustration, and failure. Reflections that involved one or more or of these sentiments proved to be the most valuable in helping the leaders grow.
• Surprise, frustration, and failure. Cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. These parts of you are constantly in motion and if you don’t give them time to rest and reflect upon what you learned from them, you will surely fatigue.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Empathy, communication, adaptability, emotional intelligence, compassion. These are all skills you need to thrive in the workplace and become a great leader. Time and again, we even hear that these capabilities are the key to making yourself indispensable — not just now but far into the future. Soft skills, after all, are what make us human, and as far as we know, can’t be performed well by technologies like artificial intelligence.

• James R. Bailey is professor and Hochberg Fellow of Leadership at George Washington University. The author of five books and more than 50 academic papers, he is a frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review, The Hill, Fortune, Forbes, and Fast Company and appears on many national television and radio programs.
• Scheherazade Rehman is professor and Dean’s Professorial Fellow of International Finance. She is director of the European Union Research Center and former Director of World ExecMBA with Cybersecurity, has appeared in front of the U.S. House and Senate, and been a guest numerous times onPBS Newshour, the Colbert Report, BBC World News, CNBC, Voice of America, and C-Span.

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How To Improve Emotional Intelligence

Sara Viezzer

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc in Applied Neuropsychology

Sara Viezzer is a graduate of psychological studies at the University of Bristol and Padova. She has worked as an Assistant Psychologist in the NHS for the past two years in neuroscience and health psychology. Sara is presently pursuing a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is the ability to identify and regulate our own emotions as well as recognize, understand, and engage with the emotions of others (Goleman, 1996). 

It is a critical skill to build stronger and empathetic relationships, and it helps connect with our deepest feelings, allowing us to make decisions that are more aligned with our values and personal goals. 

Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

• Self-awareness is the ability to recognize our own emotions and the impact they have on others;
• Self-management is the capacity to regulate emotions , control impulsive reactions and flexibly adapt to changing circumstances;
• Social awareness is the ability to understand and empathize with the emotions of others;
• Relationship management comprises a set of social skills, including positive influence, teamwork, clear communication, and conflict management.

How to develop emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a flexible skill that can be learned.

Even though some individuals might naturally be more emotionally intelligent than others, high EI can be developed with time through regular practice.

Below are some ways which may help to increase emotional intelligence.

Practice active listening

Active listening is about hearing beyond people’s words. It involves fully attuning to what is being communicated, including the content of the message and the attitude that underlies it (Rogers and Farson, 1957). 

Paying attention to another’s body language, as well as the tone and speed of their voice, can help identify the speaker’s emotional state in that moment and any messages beyond what they are saying. 

To practice active listening, it is important to let the other person’s train of thought flow without interruptions, as this will facilitate open communication and create a climate of trust and acceptance. 

Secondly, controlling external and internal distractions can help facilitate active listening. In particular, the internal chatter in our minds and the need to plan our responses will allow us to be fully present in the moment and sharpen our listening skills (Lunenburg, 2010).   

Emotional awareness

When experiencing uncomfortable emotions, we might have the tendency to ignore them or bottle them up rather than accept them as a normal and sometimes useful part of our life.

Leaning into our uncomfortable emotions can give us the opportunity to deal with our feelings productively, increasing our self-awareness and ability to introduce positive changes in our lives (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). 

By exploring with curiosity our full range of emotions , we can gain a more objective view of the person we are and how our feelings are influencing our actions. To see things from a wider perspective, we can also open up to feedback from others, asking about specific situations where we acted with poor emotional awareness.

Identify the emotions

Learning to label emotions with more specific vocabulary can help identify more precisely the type of emotional state we are experiencing and feel more in control of our responses (David, 2016). 

Beyond the six core emotions – happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise – there is a vast spectrum that can be explored through the emotions wheel (Figure 2). 

By recognizing, for example, that sadness differs from boredom or a sense of loneliness; we can become better able to pinpoint our emotions and manage them effectively. 

An additional strategy to develop emotional awareness might be keeping a diary, where we write a description of our emotions and how these are brought up by specific circumstances. 

After a few weeks, we may begin to see patterns. We may come to understand which emotions are most difficult for us to tolerate, which ones are triggering, and which ones contribute to feeling more connected with our own values and satisfaction with our lives.

Understand your stressors

Knowing what situations are triggering is critical for developing the ability to manage our emotional reactions and maintain calm. 

We can use a diary to also identify the sources of stress or write down a list that includes a) specific situations – when we are most likely to feel frightened, disempowered, or not in control b) people – for example, those who appear to be toxic , friends not respecting boundaries or work colleagues trying to impose their opinions c) conditions in the environment – such as crowded or noisy places. 

This will help us anticipate our stressors and then think about ways to put in place strategies to handle our emotions more appropriately (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009).  

Channel emotions in a healthy way

Once we develop greater openness towards our emotions, it is also important to learn how to use them to our advantage rather than letting them control us. 

The first step is to avoid judging our emotions and labeling them as good or bad. Instead, we should recognize them as powerful sources of information which can be used to drive our actions toward what matters to us (Bradberry and Greaves, 2009). 

Refocusing our attention on things that are under our control and can be improved also allows us to not feel trapped in a downward emotional spiral and engage in more committed actions. 

To give our minds a break, we should also prioritize scheduling activities in our routines that make us feel mentally recharged. These may include exercise, yoga, meditation, or other relaxing activities for the mind.

How to encourage emotional intelligence in others

Developing emotional competencies is not only important at the personal level.

Encouraging emotional intelligence in others, including children, students, romantic partners, and work teams, can help increase sensitivity to emotional cues that are often missed within oneself and the environment and ultimately boost the quality of interpersonal relationships (Nagarjuna Nagar, 2020). 

There are a few tips we can follow to enhance EI in others:

Be open and curious

Creating opportunities to share opinions can help build trust in both dyadic and group interactions, reinforcing the importance of self-expression and promoting transparent communication between individuals. 

For example, in a work setting, we might start by asking our team how they are feeling about a particular decision rather than appointing a quick solution to a problem without explaining the rationale behind it. 

We might also try to engage in conversations by asking our co-workers about things that disappoint them at work, what motivates them the most, and how they deal with emotional stress related to work.

Name the emotion

To encourage self-expression in others, such as in children, we might ask them to name an emotion matching their present state. If they find this exercise difficult or give flat answers like “I feel fine/good,” we can ask them to rate an emotion on a 1-10 scale or make use of the emotions wheel.

For example, you could ask: ‘How worried do you feel on a scale of 1-10?’

This technique can even work for adults who may struggle with identifying their emotions. 

Offer your perspective

It may be useful to give some constructive feedback to others about situations where they acted with poor emotional awareness. 

Did they not show enough care or support to people who needed their help? Did they say something that could be perceived as disrespectful or inconsiderate of others’ feelings? Are they often adopting unclear or inconsistent communication of tasks? 

Ensure this feedback is not confrontational or using blaming language but expressed in a kind manner so as to encourage open, healthy discussion. 

Promote a collaborative group culture

Encouraging cooperation within groups facilitates sharing of objectives, values, and concerns, which can ultimately result in an increased sense of group identity and commitment to tasks. 

To enhance a team’s EI, we can highlight participants’ strengths and weaknesses, build a team spirit to spark passion and motivation and constantly provide a space to reflect on personal progress and ways to improve existing skills.

Why is emotional intelligence important?

“What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.” Daniel Goleman

In accordance with Goleman’s statement, emotional intelligence can benefit our personal and professional life in several ways. 

It is a valuable tool to utilize when handling unpredictable and emotionally charged situations, it promotes better clarity of our motivations and goals, and it is an integral part of developing more satisfying relationships with others. 

EI is also a significant predictor of professional success, believed to account for 58% of performance in all types of jobs (Bradberry and Greaves, 2006).

When is emotional intelligence important?

Overall, EI has been found to subsume a variety of skills that are critical in our day-to-day life (Figure 1).

Communication

Increased sensitivity to the feelings of others allows more effective communication and prevents the escalation of tension and conflicts. 

As we are more aware of the emotional needs of the people we interact with, we are more likely to adopt a collaborative attitude and be open to compromise (Petrovici and Dobrescu, 2014).

Stress management

Recognizing how specific situations can trigger stressful emotions can help us feel more in control of our reactions, replacing negative feelings with appropriate coping skills to deal with them. 

Neglecting how emotional stress drives our behaviors can lead to irrational decisions and ultimately exacerbate mental health outcomes (Ciarrochi, Deane, and Anderson, 2002).

Decision-making

Understanding how emotions influence our thoughts can prevent us from making misguided decisions, both in our personal lives and in the workplace. 

As we are able to identify emotions that are superfluous or unrelated to a problem, we can form more objective judgments and enhance the quality of decision-making (Hess and Bacigalupo, 2011).

Change tolerance

Changes in our personal and professional life are constant and can sometimes be emotionally intense. 

Reflecting on the emotional reactions that make us resistant to change as well as the interpretations and preconceptions associated with them, can help us assume a more positive outlook and think more optimistically about opportunities that can derive from change (Lin et al., 2016).

With high EI, we can better understand the meaning of our aspirations and the motivational skills required to achieve goals in relation to our work, personal life, and health (Magnano, Craparo, and Paolillo, 2016). 

In addition, with the capacity to recognize emotions, we can also impact other people’s motivations, encouraging positive attitudes towards shared goals when working in teams.

Frequently asked questions

Does emotional intelligence tend to improve with age.

Since EI is a skill that can be continuously developed and refined over time, it makes sense that our ability to deal with emotional challenges might increase with age. 

Indeed, research suggests that older adults are better able to balance emotions and cognition when problem-solving and making decisions compared to their younger counterparts. 

In addition, older adults seem to be better able to regulate emotions and minimize the intensity and duration of negative affect (Carstensen et al., 2000). 

At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that a person’s age does not always mirror their level of emotional maturity, and some EI competencies might require more consistent practice and training (Fariselli, Ghini, and Freedman, 2008).

What problems can result from low emotional intelligence?

Low EI manifests with difficulty dealing with our own feelings and relating to the emotional experiences of others (Goleman, 1996).

Being emotionally disconnected may result in uncontrolled and impulsive behaviors, such as emotional outbursts, insensitive responses, or blaming others, all of which can compromise the quality of our relationships. 

Ignoring other people’s feelings can also increase the risk of conflicts if the conversations are too closed, self-centered and foster misunderstandings (Hansen, 2015).

Ultimately, low EI may result in a reduction of a person’s social circle and level of emotional support, with detrimental effects on mental health and well-being.

Can you have a high IQ but low emotional intelligence?

Though IQ and EI are sometimes related, they represent two separate constructs that might present with different levels of development in the same person. 

Having a strong ability to analyze and interpret situations (often associated with a high IQ) does not necessarily translate into the ability to read other people’s emotions or attend to emotional cues. 

Similarly, the ability to find rational solutions to problems might not manifest in social situations where strong EI skills are needed to manage conflict and reach a compromise (Goleman, 2020).

Can emotional intelligence be taught to others?

Considering the increasingly important role of EI in academic and work success, as well as in managing stress and life transitions, there is a growing interest in teaching emotional intelligence to teenagers and students. 

In a classroom environment, incorporating training focused on enhancing assertive communication and managing negative self-talk can result in an improvement in EI skills (Chang, 2006). 

In addition, students who show the greatest benefit from EI programs are also more likely to persist with their studies in the future (Qualter et al., 2009).

In practice, introducing behaviors in classrooms that are informed by EI principles, such as promoting collaboration between students and practicing self-reflection exercises, can help students gradually assimilate this skill.

Atkins, P., & Stough, C. (2005). Does emotional intelligence change with age. In Society for Research in Adult Development annual conference, Atlanta, GA .

Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2006). The emotional intelligence quick book: Everything you need to know to put your EQ to work . Simon and Schuster.

Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0 . TalentSmart.

Carstensen, L. L., Pasupathi, M., Mayr, U., & Nesselroade, J. R. (2000). Emotional experience in everyday life across the adult life span. Journal of personality and social psychology , 79 (4), 644.

Chang, K. B. (2006). Can we teach emotional intelligence?.

Ciarrochi, J., Deane, F. P., & Anderson, S. (2002). Emotional intelligence moderates the relationship between stress and mental health. Personality and individual differences , 32 (2), 197-209.

David, S. (2016). Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life . Penguin.

Fariselli, L., Ghini, M., & Freedman, J. (2008). Age and emotional intelligence. Six Seconds: The Emotional Intelligence Network , 1-10.

Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ . Bloomsbury Publishing.

Goleman, D. (2020). Emotional intelligence . Bloomsbury Publishing.

Hansen, S. (2015). “10 Things High EQ People Don’t Do.” Lifehack. Web.

Hess, J. D., & Bacigalupo, A. C. (2011). Enhancing decisions and decision‐making processes through the application of emotional intelligence skills. Management decision .

Lin, D. T., Liebert, C. A., Tran, J., Lau, J. N., & Salles, A. (2016). Emotional intelligence as a predictor of resident well-being. Journal of the American College of Surgeons , 223 (2), 352-358.

Lunenburg, F. C. (2010). Communication: The process, barriers, and improving effectiveness. Schooling , 1 (1), 1-10.

Magnano, P., Craparo, G., & Paolillo, A. (2016). Resilience and Emotional Intelligence: which role in achievement motivation. International Journal of Psychological Research , 9 (1), 9-20.

Nagarjuna Nagar, A. P. (2020). Can Emotional Intelligence Be Developed?. Editorial Board , 9 (7).

Petrovici, A., & Dobrescu, T. (2014). The role of emotional intelligence in building interpersonal communication skills. Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences , 116 , 1405-1410.

Qualter, P., Whiteley, H., Morley, A., & Dudiak, H. (2009). The role of emotional intelligence in the decision to persist with academic studies in HE. Research in Post‐Compulsory Education , 14 (3), 219-231.

Rogers, C. R., & Farson, R. E. (1957). Active listening (p. 84). Chicago, IL: Industrial Relations Center of the University of Chicago.

113 Emotional Intelligence Research Topics & Essay Examples

Emotional intelligence essays are an essential part of education for many professions that involve working with people, such as managers and teachers.

The concept is somewhat new, having been first introduced half a century ago and popularized at the end of the last century. As such, you have to approach the topic carefully and rely on the latest available evidence to avoid citing outdated ideas.

Furthermore, as with any psychology-related topic, you should exhibit general caution and avoid the numerous pitfalls associated with the study of the human mind. This article will help you understand what you should or should not do to write an excellent paper.

👍 Writing Tips for Projects on Emotional Intelligence

🏆 best topics on emotional intelligence & essay examples, 📝 simple & easy research topics on emotional intelligence, 💡 most interesting emotional intelligence topics to write about, ❓ research questions about emotional intelligence.

Remember that the purpose of psychology is to help people improve themselves, not to stratify society based on vague ideas. Emotional intelligence is not inherent and can be learned by most people, a concept your writing should reflect.

Be sure to discuss the difference between a fixed and a growth mindset, promoting the idea that anyone can adopt the latter and improve himself or herself. Discuss parts of the concept of emotional intelligence, such as patience, in-depth to make the idea easier to understand.

There is a variety of topics and emotional intelligence essay ideas you can utilize to create an engaging work and make your essay excellent and unique among the offerings of your peers.

As emotional intelligence is a skill set anyone may learn, you should avoid language that implies that it is an inherent trait, a quality that is often associated with its non-emotional counterpart.

Whenever you discuss the difference between people with developed communication skills and those whose abilities are somewhat lower, remember to do so in a positive context.

Someone is not inferior because his or her emotional intelligence is lower than another person’s.

However, he or she can benefit from undergoing appropriate training, especially if these skills are important in his or her work. As such, respect people’s individual approaches and offer suggestions instead of treating the theory as universal facts.

Here are some further tips for your work:

• Psychology relies on scenarios where a person’s behavior can be as free of outside factors as possible. Toddler observation and scholarly experiments with carefully selected conditions are excellent examples of such situations, and you should use them to ground your descriptions in reality.
• Be sure to adhere to academic guidelines, avoiding the use of first person, calls to action, and other additions that do not match the format. This approach is useful in general, as it applies to most essays and will be beneficial for future reports and similar submissions.
• Write an emotional intelligence essay introduction and conclusion at the end of your paper. They make your work easier to read by giving it structure and direction. The introduction should contain a description of the topic and a thesis statement, and the conclusion should sum up the main points.
• Try to set a central theme and address it in your essay instead of providing a general overview of the topic. There are many emotional intelligence essay questions that can be answered in considerable detail. As such, you should concentrate on one of them without getting distracted and sidetracked.

Come to IvyPanda for an emotional intelligence essay summary and sample sets as well as various titles that will help you begin your writing process!

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• Concept of Emotional Intelligence: Arguments Emotional intelligence is the “subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and […]
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• Discussion of Emotional Intelligence It is proved that EI is an indispensable part of risk management policy, as it is a complicated part of a leadership phenomenon liable for a vigilant and conscientious approach to a company team.
• Emotional Intelligence Coaching Emotional Intelligence Coaching does not focus of giving a person advice about the issues in their private life.
• Why Emotional Intelligence (EI) Training Will Help Your Organization to Prosper Emotional Intelligence comes from two words. Emotions refer to personal feelings arising from the state of the mind of a person.
• Clinical Experience: Emotional Intelligence The lack of clarity in the provided information may affect the accuracy of the diagnosis to a considerable extent. A fungal infection was suspected as the possible cause of the disease due to the rise […]
• Emotional Intelligence: Research and Rationale The authors study the effect that altruistic behavior has on the relationship between emotional intelligence and subjective well-being, which is usually explored in an isolated context.
• Nurses’ Emotional Intelligence and Patient Satisfaction There is little available literature that offers evidence of the impact of the emotional intelligence of nurses on the relationship between patients and nurses, as well as patient satisfaction.
• Emotional Intelligence and Conflict-Handling Styles in Nurses This is a research critique that explores the research problem, the context of the study problem within the existing knowledge, the relevancy of the study to nursing, and the purpose of the research “The relationship […]
• Emotional Intelligence in Nursing Study by Winship The researchers identified their source of stories from a recently published book with inspirational stories about nursing and written by nurses.
• Emotional Intelligence and Effective Leadership in the Healthcare Environment It is also the ability to distinguish the impact of emotions in the life of the individual. He pointed out that EQ enables the individual to adapt to the challenges of the social environment.
• Stress, Emotional Intelligence, and Job Performance Correlation in Nursing Complexity science is important to this study because it enables a person to understand the causes of stress within a system.
• Emotional Intelligence’s Support for Teamwork and Teambuilding in Nursing In instances where a nurse lacks the luxury to pick a team with which to work, understanding others allows the individual to conduct amicable relations for the sake of proper execution of tasks, the health […]
• Emotional Intelligence and Ethical Climates in Places of Work The purpose of this paper is to analyze the importance of having an ethical climate and employees exhibiting high emotional intelligence within a place of work.
• 12 Elements of the Emotional Intelligence The topic of emotional intelligence is of great interest to me; however, the most interesting part of the article was the one describing comprehensive 360-degree assessments.
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• Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Empathy is ability of a person to feel for another individual, to put oneself emotionally in the shoes of others and relate with their feeling. To be successful in leadership, it is important for a […]
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• Emotional Intelligence: Term Definition He also urges society to rethink about the pattern of education that today’s children are going through and to make them alive to emotional intelligence by way of brainstorming in the daily grind so that […]
• Emotional and Traditional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence Quotient Emotional intelligence is often described as a capacity and ability, skill to assess and perceive and certain ability to manage personal emotions and emotions of others and group emotions.
• Emotional Intelligence and Solution Formation As a rule, EI is understood as the subject’s ability to effectively understand the emotional sphere of human life: to understand emotions and the psychological background of relationships and to use their emotions to solve […]
• Emotional Intelligence for Human Resource Management How can managers utilize and propagate the concept of EI to promote responsiveness and deliver their projects on time? Quality articles will be identified through the use of these keywords: emotional intelligence, resource management, and […]
• Personal Emotional Intelligence Analysis The completion of the survey is a valuable experience as I used to think I could manage my emotions and understand my own and other people’s feelings.
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• Organizational Behavior: Emotional Intelligence To assess the EI in a person that is likely to be promoted to a managerial position, it is best to take notice of how this person acts in stressful situations.
• Emotional Intelligence Assessment This is attributable to the fact that they are aware of our weaknesses and are in a better position to correct us accordingly.
• Inspiring Leadership: Social and Emotional Intelligence Finally, it’s prudent to note that the way one handles himself leads to outstanding individual performance and eventually success of an organization.
• Inspiring Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Sinek asserts that such leaders start with the ‘why’ and not the ‘what’ of business communication. Goleman believes that other people are the best assessors of one’s social intelligence.
• Public Health Leadership: Emotional Intelligence For example, the research by Ramchunder and Martins reveals that there is a significant positive correlation between EI and self-efficacy on the development of effective leadership, which can be applied to the public health sphere.
• Emotional Intelligence in Midwives’ Communication Communication is crucial because it helps the midwives to decide when it is appropriate to consult/ transfer the care of a pregnant woman to a relevant medical practitioner.
• Strengths and Emotional Intelligence in Management Emotional intelligence is more focused on different types of awareness and management that come with analysis and understanding of the actions of a person and their surroundings.
• Radiography Stereotypes and Emotional Intelligence The article explored the concept of EI as the means of improving communication and reducing the effects of sociocultural stereotypes on the quality of radiography.
• Drug and Alcohol Use and Emotional Intelligence One of the articles deals with the association between drug and alcohol use and EI. The other article deals with the relationship between emotional intelligence and cocaine use.
• Emotional Intelligence Criticism by Steve Tobak The main idea of the article consists in the fact that the modern tendency of promoting EI is the result of the profit it generates, which is why its promoters tend to provide insufficient information […]
• Experiential Hospitality and Emotional Intelligence Such an image is even worse for an institution that is operating in the hospitality industry, where the capacity to anticipate and attend to the specific needs of clientele is the generalized hallmark of the […]
• Emotional Intelligence in Working Environment Emotional intelligence is a type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor own and others’ emotions in order to discriminate among them and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and actions.
• Emotional Intelligence and Leadership in the UAE In this case, 45 middle and top managers of companies in the United Arab Emirates were asked to participate in the research to understand their level of emotional intelligence and its influence on the overall […]
• Emotional Intelligence Strong and Weak Competencies However, it is agreeable that I have been unable to use the competence to coach and mentor others. The coach indicated that it was hard for me to act and lead others in accordance with […]
• Social and Emotional Intelligence in Education My education philosophy is based on the ideas of pragmatism that had given birth to the learning theory of progressivism and the concepts of social and emotional intelligence.
• Emotional Intelligence in Social Workers As Poulin explains, listening is one of the basic tools for building a link between the patient and the social worker and, therefore, contributing to the development of emotional intelligence in the former.
• Emotional Intelligence’ Elements at the Workplace The vast majority of men and women in business who are very successful demonstrate a level of honesty and trust that is above average.
• Relevance of Emotional Intelligence in Modern Organisations One should control those emotions, and respond to other people’s emotions in the right way; all the latter processes make the ability model. Such a trait allows one to know how people’s emotions change in […]
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• Emotional Intelligence – Psychology Emotional intelligence is defined as the processes that are involved in the recognition, the use, and management of ones own emotional state and also the emotional state of others to solve emotion-laden problems and to […]
• Emotional Intelligence as a Factor of Professional Success American business companies noticed this and started to pay greater attention to the emotional competence of their workers, hire special consultants and advisors to help the employees deal with the emotional intelligence issues, conduct training […]
• Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence This is based on the fact that emotional intelligence mostly comes from our environment and how we master the nature of occurrences in it.
• Emotional Intelligence, Burnout, and Job Insecurity In order to measure the place of EI as assessed by the 33-item self-report scale in the context of the big-five structure, scores on the 33-item scale were associated with the big-five personality aspects. In […]
• Emotional Intelligence’s Impact in the Workplace The aim of this reflection is to provide a solution on how Emotional Intelligence can be utilised to improve the workplace.
• Emotional Intelligence in Groups In their article, “Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups”, Druskat and Wolff set out to discuss the concept of emotional intelligence and the role it plays in today’s organizational settings.
• Emotional Intelligence in HR The high scores recorded in the rise of IQ are because of the changing trend in evaluation taking a turn from strictly intellectual testing to testing of competence in the light of psychological statuses gauging […]
• How Emotional Intelligence Influences Leadership In order to be an effective leader, a broad understanding of emotions and their impacts on others is imperative for leaders.
• Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence in Different Areas The researchers claim that EI is “the ability to feel, understand, articulate, manage, and apply the power of emotions to interactions across lines of difference”.
• Emotional Intelligence in Teamwork and Mutual Cooperation From this argument it is right to claim that the virtues of emotional intelligence contribute greatly to the aspects of personality and other individualistic provisions.
• Emotional Intelligence and Servant Leadership This is why it can be said that a leader can achieve much if he is able to understand the importance of inner-maturity and awareness such as the need to become a servant leader.
• Emotional Intelligence and Gender in Leadership Many authors have done a lot of research on the subject, and have found that gender and emotional intelligence determine the leadership style in an organisation. This will precede a criticism of the model and […]
• The Need to Improve One’s Self-Awareness Personal improvement is needed in this area because of the frequent loss of confidence and self-esteem in the process of acting on my emotions.
• Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in the Work Place For a longer period of time, it has been believed that the success of a person at the place of work depends on the level of intelligence of that person known as intelligence quotient.
• The Concept of Emotional Intelligence: A Critical Analysis Organisational behaviour and the behaviour of individuals can be understood through the adoption and practice of emotional intelligence in organisations. Emotional intelligence has to resonate from the management of organisation and entail the training of […]
• The Development of Emotional Intelligence and Its Application According to them, EI is “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s […]
• Emotional Intelligence and Employee Performance Correlation The first dimension in the survey was the satisfaction of the organisation with employee performance while the second dimension used was the level of employee performance in the organisation.
• The Concept of Emotional Intelligence and Its Models Contemporary developments in neuroscience have led to issues of locating and measuring intelligence in the brain. In addition, people have various ways of demonstrating competencies in the core components of emotional intelligence.
• Understanding Leader Emotional Intelligence and Performance On the other hand, behavioral leadership focuses on the behavioral traits of a leader to stimulate certain behavioral responses by people who are led by the leader to develop quality, dedication to duty, and talent […]
• Cognitive Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence in Organisational Behavior The distinction between emotional intelligence and cognitive intelligence is evidenced in the psychometric tests of assessing cognitive ability and psychometric tests of intelligence.
• Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace Emotional intelligence is a significant requirement for team work; there is a coherent link between successes attained in team work to the level of emotional intelligence held by the members of the team.
• Does Emotional Intelligence Buffer the Effects of Acute Stress?
• On the Other Hand, Does Emotional Intelligence Have a “Dark Side”?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Help in Developing Consumer-Based Brand Equity Research Paper Samples?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Influence Employees, Customers, and Operational Efficiency?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Influence Job Satisfaction?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Mediate the Relation Between Mindfulness and Anxiety and Depression in Adolescents?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Moderate the Relationship Between Mental Health and Job Performance?
• Does Only Emotional Intelligence Matter?
• Does Perceived Emotional Intelligence and Optimism or Pessimism Predict Psychological Well-Being?
• Does Student Leadership Participation Enhance the Development of Emotional Intelligence?
• Do Managers Need Emotional Intelligence to Manage Successfully in the Workplace?
• How Can You Measure Your Current Emotional Intelligence?
• How Does Emotional Intelligence Help Children?
• How Can Emotional Intelligence Be an Effective Tool for Leaders?
• How Does Emotional Intelligence Contribute to Leadership?
• How Does Emotional Intelligence Help Build Effective Interpersonal Relationships?
• How Does Emotional Intelligence Influence Interpersonal Communication?
• How Can Managers Use Emotional Intelligence?
• How Might Action Learning Be Used to Develop the Emotional Intelligence of Public Administrators?
• What Are Social and Emotional Intelligence?
• What Is Some Emotional Intelligence?
• What Are the Implications of Emotional Intelligence for Leaders?
• Does Emotional Intelligence Play a Buffering Role in Adolescence?
• What Are the Relationships Between Traits of Emotional Intelligence and Personality?
• What Are the Links Between Self-Report Emotional Intelligence and Suicide Risk?
• What Are the Five Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence?
• What Are the Four Types of Emotional Intelligence?
• What Is an Excellent Example of Emotional Intelligence?
• What Makes a Person Emotionally Intelligent?
• Which Personality Type Is the Most Emotionally Intelligent?
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

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The Importance of Self-Reflection: How Looking Inward Can Improve Your Mental Health

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

Sunwoo Jung / Getty Images

Why Is Self-Reflection So Important?

When self-reflection becomes unhealthy, how to practice self-reflection, what to do if self-reflection makes you uncomfortable, incorporating self-reflection into your routine.

How well do you know yourself? Do you think about why you do the things you do? Self-reflection is a skill that can help you understand yourself better.

Self-reflection involves being present with yourself and intentionally focusing your attention inward to examine your thoughts, feelings, actions, and motivations, says Angeleena Francis , LMHC, executive director for AMFM Healthcare.

Active self-reflection can help grow your understanding of who you are , what values you believe in, and why you think and act the way you do, says Kristin Wilson , MA, LPC, CCTP, RYT, chief experience officer for Newport Healthcare.

This article explores the benefits and importance of self-reflection, as well as some strategies to help you practice it and incorporate it into your daily life. We also discuss when self-reflection can become unhealthy and suggest some coping strategies.

Self-reflection is important because it helps you form a self-concept and contributes toward self-development.

Builds Your Self-Concept

Self-reflection is critical because it contributes to your self-concept, which is an important part of your identity.

Your self-concept includes your thoughts about your traits, abilities, beliefs, values, roles, and relationships. It plays an influential role in your mood, judgment, and behavioral patterns.

Reflecting inward allows you to know yourself and continue to get to know yourself as you change and develop as a person, says Francis. It helps you understand and strengthen your self-concept as you evolve with time.

Enables Self-Development

Self-reflection also plays a key role in self-development. “It is a required skill for personal growth ,” says Wilson.

Being able to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, or what you did right or wrong, can help you identify areas for growth and improvement, so you can work on them.

For instance, say you gave a presentation at school or work that didn’t go well, despite putting in a lot of work on the project. Spending a little time on self-reflection can help you understand that even though you spent a lot of time working on the project and creating the presentation materials, you didn’t practice giving the presentation. Realizing the problem can help you correct it. So, the next time you have to give a presentation, you can practice it on your colleagues or loved ones first.

Or, say you’ve just broken up with your partner. While it’s easy to blame them for everything that went wrong, self-reflection can help you understand what behaviors of yours contributed to the split. Being mindful of these behaviors can be helpful in other relationships.

Without self-reflection, you would continue to do what you’ve always done and as a result, you may continue to face the same problems you’ve always faced.

Benefits of Self-Reflection

These are some of the benefits of self-reflection, according to the experts:

• Increased self-awareness: Spending time in self-reflection can help build greater self-awareness , says Wilson. Self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence. It helps you recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as the impact of your emotions on your thoughts and behaviors.
• Greater sense of control: Self-reflection involves practicing mindfulness and being present with yourself at the moment. This can help you feel more grounded and in control of yourself, says Francis.
• Improved communication skills: Self-reflection can help you improve your communication skills, which can benefit your relationships. Understanding what you’re feeling can help you express yourself clearly, honestly, and empathetically.
• Deeper alignment with core values: Self-reflection can help you understand what you believe in and why. This can help ensure that your words and actions are more aligned with your core values, Wilson explains. It can also help reduce cognitive dissonance , which is the discomfort you may experience when your behavior doesn’t align with your values, says Francis.
• Better decision-making skills: Self-reflection can help you make better decisions for yourself, says Wilson. Understanding yourself better can help you evaluate all your options and how they will impact you with more clarity. This can help you make sound decisions that you’re more comfortable with, says Francis.
• Greater accountability: Self-reflection can help you hold yourself accountable to yourself, says Francis. It can help you evaluate your actions and recognize personal responsibility. It can also help you hold yourself accountable for the goals you’re working toward.

Self-reflection is a healthy practice that is important for mental well-being. However, it can become harmful if it turns into rumination, self-criticism, self-judgment, negative self-talk , and comparison to others, says Wilson.

Here’s what that could look like:

• Rumination: Experiencing excessive and repetitive stressful or negative thoughts. Rumination is often obsessive and interferes with other types of mental activity.
• Self-judgment: Constantly judging yourself and often finding yourself lacking. 
• Negative self-talk: Allowing the voice inside your head to discourage you from doing things you want to do. Negative self-talk is often self-defeating.
• Self-criticism: Constantly criticizing your actions and decisions.
• Comparison: Endlessly comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior.

Kristin Wilson, LPC, CCTP

Looking inward may activate your inner critic, but true self-reflection comes from a place of neutrality and non-judgment.

When anxious thoughts and feelings come up in self-reflection, Wilson says it’s important to practice self-compassion and redirect your focus to actionable insights that can propel your life forward. “We all have faults and room for improvement. Reflect on the behaviors or actions you want to change and take steps to do so.”

It can help to think of what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. For instance, if your friend said they were worried about the status of their job after they gave a presentation that didn’t go well, you would probably be kind to them, tell them not to worry, and to focus on improving their presentation skills in the future. Apply the same compassion to yourself and focus on what you can control.

If you are unable to calm your mind of racing or negative thoughts, Francis recommends seeking support from a trusted person in your life or a mental health professional. “Patterns of negative self-talk, self-doubt , or criticism should be addressed through professional support, as negative cognitions of oneself can lead to symptoms of depression if not resolved.”

Wilson suggests some strategies that can help you practice self-reflection:

• Ask yourself open-ended questions: Start off by asking yourself open-ended questions that will prompt self-reflection, such as: “Am I doing what makes me happy?” “Are there things I’d like to improve about myself?” or “What could I have done differently today?” “Am I taking anything or anyone for granted?” Notice what thoughts and feelings arise within you for each question and then begin to think about why. Be curious about yourself and be open to whatever comes up.
• Keep a journal: Journaling your thoughts and responses to these questions is an excellent vehicle for self-expression. It can be helpful to look back at your responses, read how you handled things in the past, assess the outcome, and look for where you might make changes in the future.
• Try meditation: Meditation can also be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth. Even if it’s only for five minutes, practice sitting in silence and paying attention to what comes up for you. Notice which thoughts are fleeting and which come up more often.
• Process major events and emotions: When something happens in your life that makes you feel especially good or bad, take the time to reflect on what occurred, how it made you feel, and either how you can get to that feeling again or what you might do differently the next time. Writing down your thoughts in a journal can help.
• Make a self-reflection board: Create a self-reflection board of positive attributes that you add to regularly. Celebrate your authentic self and the ways you stay true to who you are. Having a visual representation of self-reflection can be motivating.

You may avoid self-reflection if it brings up difficult emotions and makes you feel uncomfortable, says Francis. She recommends preparing yourself to get comfortable with the uncomfortable before you start.

Think of your time in self-reflection as a safe space within yourself. “Avoid judging yourself while you explore your inner thoughts, feelings, and motives of behavior,” says Francis. Simply notice what comes up and accept it. Instead of focusing on fears, worries, or regrets, try to look for areas of growth and improvement.

“Practice neutrality and self-compassion so that self-reflection is a positive experience that you will want to do regularly,” says Wilson.

Francis suggests some strategies that can help you incorporate self-reflection into your daily routine:

• Dedicate time to it: it’s important to dedicate time to self-reflection and build it into your routine. Find a slot that works for your schedule—it could be five minutes each morning while drinking coffee or 30 minutes sitting outside in nature once per week.
• Pick a quiet spot: It can be hard to focus inward if your environment is busy or chaotic. Choose a calm and quiet space that is free of distractions so you can hear your own thoughts.
• Pay attention to your senses: Pay attention to your senses. Sensory input is an important component of self-awareness.

Nowak A, Vallacher RR, Bartkowski W, Olson L. Integration and expression: The complementary functions of self-reflection . J Pers . 2022;10.1111/jopy.12730. doi:10.1111/jopy.12730

American Psychological Association. Self-concept .

Dishon N, Oldmeadow JA, Critchley C, Kaufman J. The effect of trait self-awareness, self-reflection, and perceptions of choice meaningfulness on indicators of social identity within a decision-making context . Front Psychol . 2017;8:2034. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02034

Drigas AS, Papoutsi C. A new layered model on emotional intelligence . Behav Sci (Basel) . 2018;8(5):45. doi:10.3390/bs8050045

American Psychological Association. Rumination .

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence (Incl. Quotes)

Can you manage those feelings without allowing them to swamp you?

Can you motivate yourself to get jobs done? Do you sense the emotions of others and respond effectively?

If you answered yes to these questions, it is likely that you have developed some or all of the skills that form the basis of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence ( EI ) forms the juncture at which cognition and emotion meet, it facilitates our capacity for resilience, motivation, empathy, reasoning, stress management, communication, and our ability to read and navigate a plethora of social situations and conflicts. EI matters and if cultivated affords one the opportunity to realize a more fulfilled and happy life.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free . These science-based exercises will not only enhance your ability to understand and work with your emotions but will also give you the tools to foster the emotional intelligence of your clients, students or employees.

This Article Contains:

What is the importance of emotional intelligence, five categories of emotional intelligence (ei/eq), value and benefits of emotional intelligence.

• Self Management, Self Regulation, and EQ

Resilience and EQ

Does emotional intelligence matter more than iq, is there a link between ei and job performance, how about emotional intelligence and motivation, using emotional intelligence to deal with stress, linking ei and decision-making, can emotional intelligence and success be related, goals and ei, how eq affects communication, why emotional intelligence matters for happiness.

• 6 Youtube Videos and TED Talks on Emotional Intelligence

21 Quotes on the Value of Emotional Intelligence

A take-home message.

The term ‘ Emotional Intelligence ’, first coined by psychologists Mayer and Salovey (1990), refers to one’s capacity to perceive, process and regulate emotional information accurately and effectively, both within oneself and in others and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions and to influence those of others.

Emotional intelligence can lead us on the path to a fulfilled and happy life by providing a framework through which to apply standards of intelligence to emotional responses and understand that these responses may be logically consistent or inconsistent with particular beliefs about emotion.

As the workplace evolves, so too does the body of research supporting that individuals (from interns to managers) with higher EI are better equipped to work cohesively within teams, deal with change more effectively, and manage stress – thus enabling them to more efficiently pursue business objectives.

Goleman (1995) recognized five distinct categories of skills which form the key characteristics of EI and proposed that, unlike one’s intelligence quotient (IQ), these categorical skills can be learned where absent and improved upon where present.

Thus, EI, unlike its relatively fixed cousin, IQ, is instead a dynamic aspect of one’s psyche and includes behavioral traits that, when worked upon, can yield significant benefits, from personal happiness and wellbeing to elevated success in a professional context.

Self-awareness is the first step toward introspective self-evaluation and enables one to identify behavioral and emotional aspects of our psychological makeup which we can then target for change.

Emotional self-awareness is also about recognizing what motivates you and, in turn, what brings you fulfillment.

• Self-regulation: the ability to manage one’s negative or disruptive emotions, and to adapt to changes in circumstance. Those who are skilled in self-regulation excel in managing conflict, adapt well to change and are more likely to take responsibility.
• Motivation: the ability to self-motivate, with a focus on achieving internal or self-gratification as opposed to external praise or reward. Individuals who are able to motivate themselves in this way have a tendency to be more committed and goal focused.
• Empathy: the ability to recognize and understand how others are feeling and consider those feelings before responding in social situations. Empathy also allows an individual to understand the dynamics that influence relationships, both personal and in the workplace.
• Social skills: the ability to manage the emotions of others through emotional understanding and using this to build rapport and connect with people through skills such as active listening, verbal and nonverbal communication.
• Self-awareness: the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions and their impact on others.

Emotional intelligence has been shown to play a meaningful role in academic success, mental and physical health, as well as attainment in professional domains; the findings of Bar-On (1997) suggested that people with higher EI performed better than those with lower EI in life.

In the modern, agile workplace, there is an ever-increasing emphasis from employers on the importance of EI over academic qualifications.

The importance of EI should not go unappreciated; the ability to understand and manage your emotions is the first step in realizing your true potential. How can we achieve meaningful progress if we don’t recognize and acknowledge the point from where we’re starting? When checking directions on your sat-nav, a destination is useless unless we know the origin.

Whether it be connecting with others and improving interpersonal communication, achieving success in the workplace or social relationships, dealing with stress and improving motivation or refining decision-making skills – emotional intelligence plays a central role in realizing success in both personal and professional life.

The value and benefits of emotional intelligence are vast in terms of personal and professional success. It is a core competency in many vocations, can support the advancement towards academic and professional success, improve relationships, and boost communication skills, the list goes on.

Bar-On (1997) goes so far as to suggest that people with higher EI tend to perform better than those with lower EI in life overall, regardless of IQ. There has been much discussion regarding the benefits of teaching EI in schools , with an emphasis on the idea that emotionally intelligent children grow up to become emotionally intelligent adults.

Proficiency in EI is becoming a vital prerequisite in prolonged or intense areas of ‘emotional work’ such as nursing, social work, the service industry, and management roles. High EI improves the physical and psychological health of people and encourages academic and business performance (Bar-On & Parker, 2000).

Emotional intelligence is an integral part of forming and developing meaningful human relationships. Schutte et al (2001) found that, over a series of studies, there were significant links between high EI and more successful interpersonal relations.

Those participants who exhibited higher levels of EI also showed a greater propensity for empathic perspective taking, cooperation with others, developing affectionate and more satisfying relationships as well as greater social skills in general.

So far, we have focused on the social and psychological benefits of EI, it is important to note that self-awareness – the ability to manage emotions and stress – and the ability to solve personal, as well as interpersonal problems, are also significantly related to physical health.

Chronic stress and the prolonged negative effects which accompany it such as anger, depression, and anxiety can precipitate the onset and progression of hypertension, heart problems, and diabetes; increase susceptibility to viruses, and infections; delay healing of wounds and injuries; and exacerbate conditions such as arthritis and atherosclerosis (Bar-On, 2006, Black & Garbutt, 2002).

The value of EI is immense; developing emotional intelligence encourages many positive traits, from resilience to communication, motivation to stress management, all of which can be seen as conducive to effectively achieving personal, physical and occupational health, and success.

Undoubtedly you know how valuable it is to develop your emotional intelligence abilities, but have you ever wondered exactly why?

Research shows there are many benefits for those with high levels of emotional intelligence, including greater resilience, social skills and connection.

But how do you reach a stage where you can reap these benefits? What barriers stand in your way? How can you help your clients, friends, colleagues, students and even your children develop excellent EI skills?

For answers to all these questions and more, check out our Emotional Intelligence Masterclass© .

Self-Management, Self-Regulation, and EQ

While it’s commonly accepted that our emotions are driven by impulses over which we have little-to-no control, we do have the capacity for self-management and  self-regulation ; the ability to manage – if not control – the resultant emotions and our reactions thereto.

Consider the calm and rational pilot despite the aircraft’s landing gear being jammed or the surgeon who carries on with their duties despite losing a patient.

This form of self-regulation builds on the basis of self-awareness and is an integral part of becoming emotionally intelligent by exercising the capacity to liberate ourselves from impulse-driven reaction (Goleman, 1995).

Self-management builds on this further and allows an individual to use knowledge about their emotions to better manage them in order to self-motivate and to create positive social interactions.

Leaders with an aptitude for self-regulation are far less likely to be aggressively confrontational and make snap decisions. Self-regulation and self-management do not pertain to the absence of anger; rather it’s about remaining in control of your emotions and not allowing your actions to be emotion-driven.

In instances of negative emotions such as anger, EI can help identify what you are feeling and determine the cause of the emotion through reflection and self-analysis allowing one to respond in a rational manner.

Self-regulation is critical in relation to other facets of EI and can be developed from early childhood, adolescence and throughout adulthood. Mastering self-management allows us the opportunity to open the door to the other beneficial aspects of EI while in the absence of self-regulation other competencies, such as effective communication and conflict management, are challenging.

The good news is that it’s never too late to embark on self-management and regulation training; the potential benefits are numerous and should not be underestimated.

The skills enabled through the development of self-regulation can aid success for (but by no means limited to) counselors, psychotherapists, small business owners, managers, and executives.

Those with stronger skills in this area are less likely to become angry or exhibit stress while being more likely to respond calmly to negative environments, harness personal needs in order to achieve goals and remain motivated.

Emotional intelligence is undoubtedly a valuable tool to utilize in the face of adversity; it has the potential to enhance not only leadership abilities and teamwork effectiveness but also personal resilience.

Focusing on the impact of EI on one’s resilience, that is, one’s ability to cope with stressful conditions, research suggests that those who display higher levels of emotional intelligence are less likely to succumb to the negative impacts of stressors.

In the context of a leadership role, one might expect increased responsibility to coincide with elevated potential stressors, highlighting the importance of strong EI for those in leadership or management positions.

An investigation into the relationship between emotional intelligence and the stress process found that participants who displayed higher levels of EI were less likely to be negatively impacted by the presence of stressors.

Participants completed an ability-based test of EI before rating the subjectively perceived threat level posed by two stressors, they then self-reported their emotional reaction to said stressors and were also subjected to physiological stress-response tests in order to assess their response.

In summary, the findings suggested that “ EI facets were related to lower threat appraisals, more modest declines in positive affect, less negative affect and challenge physiological responses to stress… This study provides predictive validity that EI facilitates stress resilience, ” (Schneider, Lyons & Khazon, 2013, pp 909).

Further research suggested a link between higher emotional intelligence, resilience and the propensity for depressive behaviors. In an examination of medical professionals – an occupation with a relatively high ‘burnout’ rate – Olson & Matan (2015) found a positive correlation between EI and resilience as well as a negative correlation between resilience, mindfulness, and self-compassion with the ‘burnout’ rate.

In a nutshell, those with higher levels of emotional intelligence also displayed greater resilience and were less likely to ‘burnout’ or succumb to depression.

These results build on previous research which found EI scores were positively correlated with psychological wellbeing while being negatively correlated with depression and burnout. Given the dynamic nature of EI, the study highlighted the potential ability to reduce one’s susceptibility to depression by way of interventions to increase EI (Lin, Liebert, Tran, Lau, & Salles 2016).

Interestingly, EI is strongly correlated with individual advancement and performance, with evidence suggesting a significant link between one’s resilience and one’s motivation to achieve (Magnano, Craparo & Paolillo, 2016).

Furthermore, it is suggested that resilience plays a mediational role between EI and self-motivated achievement. In other words, emotional intelligence is a prerequisite for resilience, and resilience can lead to greater motivation. Resilience has an underlying perseverance component that motivates endurance in the face of obstacles (Luthans, Avey & Avolio, 2010).

When psychologists began to discuss intelligence, the focus was very much on cognitive aspects relating to memory and problem-solving.

While there had been references to intelligence as having “non-intellective”, as well as “intellective” elements such as affective, personal, and social factors (Wechsler, 1943), historically, the concepts of emotion and intelligence, have been regarded as being mutually exclusive. How can one be intelligent about the emotional aspects of life when emotions can hinder individuals from achieving their goals? (Lloyd, 1979).

In reality, high IQ is no guarantee of success. How successful we are in life is determined by both emotional intelligence and by IQ, though intellect works best when it’s accompanied by high emotional intelligence.

Goleman (1995, 2011) suggests that it is not simply a case of IQ versus EI, instead, both have considerable value. Where IQ tells us the level of cognitive complexity a person can achieve and may to some degree predetermine levels of academic achievement, EI tells us which individuals will make the best leaders within top management positions, for example.

IQ has limited connections to both work and life success. Snarey & Vaillant (1985) suggested it is actually less of a predictor of how well we will do in life than our ability to handle frustration, control emotions, and get along with other people – characteristics not only accounted for but also learnable under current EI theory .

Today, standards of intelligence are still commonly applied to cognitive performance. The misconception that IQ alone is the predictor of success is still very real.

In reality, IQ contributes to around 20% of the factors that determine life success – we all know someone (or perhaps are that person) who has a high IQ yet struggles to do ‘well’. So what accounts for the other 80%? Outwith factors such as social class and plain old luck, Goleman (1995) argued that life success is influenced more by an individual’s ability to engage the 5 aspects of EI detailed above.

While there is much discussion regarding the capability of individuals to improve IQ scores, EI can be developed and refined over time with the condition – just like any skill – that it is given the necessary focus and effort to do so. Many would argue that the ability to connect with and understand others is a more powerful skill to possess than cognitive intellect alone.

In the words of American civil rights activist, Maya Angelou:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The increasing awareness of emotional intelligence in management-focused literature and leadership training suggests the link between emotional intelligence and job performance not only exists but has value in myriad areas.

The workplace represents a distinct social community, separate from our personal lives, in which there is a growing appreciation that higher EI allows a person to understand themselves and others better, communicate more effectively, and cope with challenging situations.

Utilizing and developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can significantly improve the personal and social capabilities of individuals within that workplace.

EI is about managing emotions in order to improve job performance and, in turn, helping people stay calm and to think logically in order to establish good relationships and achieve goals. There is an undeniable relationship between EI and the way senior executives manage their employees – managers with higher emotional intelligence have the tools at their disposal to not only manage stress but to also recognize and address stress in others.

If we think of emotional intelligence in terms of managing stress and building relationships, the link between emotional intelligence skills and job performance is clear, with stress management positively impacting job commitment and satisfaction.

It is also important to mention that EI does not only apply at management level, likewise, employees lower down the business hierarchy with sophisticated emotional intelligence skills have the desire and ability to establish and maintain high-quality relationships in the workplace (Lopes, Salovey, & Straus, 2003).

Additionally, individuals with high EI are better equipped to effectively manage conflicts and, in turn, sustain relationships within the workplace when compared to those with low to moderate levels of EI.

Increasingly, organizations are recognizing the value of employees who exhibit the skills to cope with change and respond accordingly. EI is an important factor in job performance both on an individual level and a group level. In fact, as an individual moves up an organizational hierarchy, the positive effect of emotional intelligence on coping with situations and doing tasks in effective ways increases (Moghadam, Tehrani & Amin, 2011).

Emotional intelligence matters for motivation, and motivation matters for success. Whether it’s in relation to work, personal goals or health, the emotionally intelligent individual understands the deeper meaning of their aspirations and the self-motivation skills required to achieve them.

Goleman (1995) identified four elements that make up motivation: our personal drive to improve, our commitment to the goals we set for ourselves, our readiness to act on opportunities that present themselves to us and our resilience.

Magnano et al (2016) assert that motivation is the basic psychological process we use to stimulate ourselves into action to achieve a desired outcome. Whether it’s picking up the remote to change the TV channel or dedicating hundreds of hours to delivering a project, without motivation we’d be unable to act.

Motivation arouses, energizes, directs and sustains behavior and performance. Intrinsic motivation, that is, motivation that comes from within, pushes us to achieve our full potential. An Emotionally Intelligent individual not only possesses the skills for self-motivation but also the skills required to motivate others, a useful talent to have especially in management positions.

While self-motivation is central to achieving one’s goals, emotionally intelligent leaders within a business can also impact employee motivation. The capacity to recognize the emotions and, in turn, the concerns of others is an invaluable skill to have at your disposal in terms of realizing the most effective ways to motivate teams and individuals.

In a recent study, the EI levels of first-year medical undergraduates were found to be positively related to self-motivation to study medicine and satisfaction with choosing to study medicine (Edussuriya, Marambe, Tennakoon, Rathnayake, Premaratne, Ubhayasiri, & Wickramasinghe, 2018).

A study of senior managers with high EI employed in public sector organizations found that EI augments positive work attitudes, altruistic behavior, and work outcomes. It seems, unsurprisingly, that happy employees are motivated employees.

The ability to better cope with stress and anxiety, for example, is also a useful EI tool in terms of motivation – if one can recognize the emotions that may have a negative impact on motivation, they can be addressed and managed effectively (Carmeli, 2003).

We all endure stressful days, it’s completely normal and completely manageable if you have the right skills at your disposal. An individual with high Emotional Intelligence has sufficient self-awareness to recognize negative feelings and respond accordingly to prevent escalation. Uncontrolled and misunderstood emotions can exacerbate our vulnerability to other mental health issues, like stress, anxiety, and depression.

The skills associated with emotional intelligence can effectively help individuals deal with negative emotional states like stress and promote more positive emotions in its place. Failure to address and manage stress can lead to a further deterioration of one’s mental state and impact our physical health in turn.

Research into the social, psychological and medical components of stress emphasizes the importance of dealing with negative emotions to effectively cope with stress and in turn, reduce the potential for negative psychological and physical health outcomes.

Ganster & Schaubroeck (1991) consider our working and professional environment as the primary source of the stress, going on to suggest the ability to effectively recognize and deal with emotions and emotional information in the workplace is a vital tool in preventing negative stress and coping with occupational stress.

Emotional intelligence allows us to effectively cope with stress. Furthermore, emotionally intelligent people also have the ability to initially evaluate situations as less stressful.

While this has the obvious effect of lessening the adverse impact thereof, it also results in greater life satisfaction and happiness. Conversely, a deficit in EI and self‐regulation can lead to lower subjective wellbeing and a relatively exaggerated response to stressors.

The intelligent use of emotions is a fundamental mechanism in psychological adaptation and wellbeing. Individuals with higher EI have been found to report lower levels of stress and higher levels of happiness, indicating that the ability to regulate perceived stress directly impacts satisfaction (Ruiz‐Aranda, Extremera & Pineda‐Galán, 2014).

The role of emotional intelligence in perceiving occupational stress and preventing employees of human services from negative health outcomes is essential (Oginska-Bulk, 2005).

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Emotional Intelligence is closely related to personal and professional development, it impacts on more than how we manage our behavior and navigate social complexities, it also affects how we make decisions.

Having an authentic understanding of the emotions we feel and why we are feeling them can have a huge impact on our decision-making abilities, if we can’t look at our emotions objectively how can we avoid making misguided decisions based on them?

Superior emotional intelligence is an important element in the prevention of decision making based on emotional biases, whereas lower EI can create anxiety and lead to poor decisions. It’s not about removing emotions completely from the decision-making process, rather it’s about recognizing the emotions that are unrelated to the problem and not allowing them to be influential to the final result.

Negative emotions can impede problem-solving and decision making both in the workplace and personal circumstances. The ability to recognize emotions that are superfluous to forming a rational decision and having the capacity to effectively disregard said emotions, negating their impact on the final outcome, holds obvious benefits for decision-making processes.

Through a series of questions and observations with a focus on improving EI awareness and using EI skills to enhance the decision-making process, Hess & Bacigalupo (2011) found that organizations and individuals benefitted from the practical application of EI in decision-making scenarios.

The observations suggest EI training is an effective strategy to introduce when developing decision-making skills and aids in understanding the potential consequences of bad decision making.

Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions allows an individual to both manage the feeling and make an objective decision. Imagine you have a disagreement with your partner and go to work angry and a little stressed out, later that day you dismiss a proposal from a colleague without really paying attention to what they’re suggesting – you’re just not in the mood.

This form of emotional interference can be detrimental to the decision-making process, those with more developed EI can identify and manage this kind of emotional interference and avoid emotionally-driven decisions.

Much like happiness, ask someone to define success and you will probably get more than one answer. Does your career make you successful? Your intelligence? How much money you have? Finding contentment and happiness? Depending on who you ask, it can be anything!

What is clear is that no matter your definition of success, emotional intelligence can play a vital role in achieving it.

As addressed, it isn’t always the most intelligent people who achieve the greatest success. IQ alone is not enough to excel in life. You can be the most intelligent person in the room, but if you don’t have EI do you have the skills to quieten negative thoughts or the mental fortitude to manage stress? Goleman (1995) described EI as being powerful and, at times, more powerful than IQ in predicting success in life.

It’s your Emotional Intelligence that really helps you achieve your goals and attain greater levels of success, developing EI can greatly influence our success by contributing to increased morale, motivation and greater co-operation (Strickland, 2000).

In the workplace, managers who consistently outperform their peers not only have technical knowledge and experience, but more importantly, they utilize the strategies associated with EI to manage conflict, reduce stress and as a result, improve their success.

There is growing evidence that the range of abilities that constitute what is now commonly known as ’emotional intelligence’ play a key role in determining success – both in one’s personal life and in the workplace – with real-life applications extending to parenting, relationships, businesses, medical professionals, service workers and so many more.

Emotional intelligence enables one to manage emotions in anxiety-provoking situations, such as taking exams at school or university and also has positive associations with success in personal relationships and social functioning.

Success within social relationships can be achieved by using EI competencies to detect others’ emotional states, adopt others’ perspectives, enhance communication, and regulate behavior.

If we think of goals as an aim or desired result, we can see how emotional intelligence skills can help one to achieve personal goals and when exercised correctly by leaders and managers, can also help to drive change and progress in the workplace.

The facets of EI are interwoven, to achieve self-actualization, we must first achieve motivation, in order to achieve motivation we must also be happy in what we are doing. Without happiness, it is a challenge to reach the levels of motivation required to achieve our goals. In essence, if we are not motivated how can we expect to achieve our goals?

There is a wealth of management literature emphasizing the importance of utilizing EI in relation to success and performance, with a focus on how individuals with high EI perform better in all aspects of a management role.

The average level of Emotional Intelligence of team members is reflected by the team process effectiveness and in team goal focus, conversely teams with lower EI skills performed at a lower level of goal achievement. (Jordana, Ashkanasyb, Härtelb, & Hooperb, 2007)

In order to produce our best and achieve our goals, we need positive self-regard, heightened emotional self-awareness, effective problem solving and decision-making skills. We must understand clearly what our goals are, and be motivated to accomplish all we can.

Our ability to be aware of and understand our own emotions can aid our awareness and understanding of the feelings of others.

This sensitivity, or lack thereof, impacts our communication capabilities in both personal and work life.

If we consider communication in the workplace, and more specifically, conflict resolution in the workplace, individuals with higher emotional intelligence are more likely to approach conflict resolution in a collaborative manner, working together with others in order to effectively reach a mutually acceptable outcome.

Relationships in the workplace are affected by how we manage our own emotions and our understanding of the emotions of those around us.

The ability to identify, manage, and understand emotions help us communicate without resorting to confrontation. A person with high EI is better equipped to manage conflict and build meaningful relationships given their elevated capacity to understand, and therefore address, the needs of those with whom they engage. (Lopez, 2005).

Emotional intelligence has unquestionably received greater attention in recent years as a driver of effective communication within teams, including the growing area of virtual teams (also known as remote or geographically dispersed teams). If we examine EQ as a predictor of virtual team success, the results support that not only is EQ a driver of team viability, but also positively impacts the quality of communication (De Mio, 2002).

The process of successful communication and, in terms of conflict, successful negotiation are closely linked to high levels of EQ. Where those with low levels of EQ may react defensively in stressful situations and escalate conflict, individuals with higher emotional intelligence have the skills available at their disposal to communicate effectively without resorting to confrontation or escalating tension.

Happiness seems like a simple enough concept, but have you ever tried to define it? Try now – what is happiness? It is more difficult than it seems because it means something different to each of us. While it is true that happiness means distinctly different things to different people, what is clear is that emotional intelligence really does matter for happiness irrespective of your interpretation.

EI facilitators such as happiness contribute to our self-actualization and self-actualization, in turn, contributes to our happiness in a positive feedback loop. Happiness, according to Wechsler (1943), is the key factor that has a positive impact on intelligent behavior.

Studies examining the link between EI and a range of interpersonal relations found that participants with higher EQ scores had higher scores for empathic perspective taking, self-monitoring and social skills, cooperation with partners, relationship satisfaction, and more affectionate relationships. (Schutte, Malouff, Bobik, Coston, Greeson, Jedlicka, Rhodes, & Wendorf, 2001).

By developing the skills for EI one can reduce stress, which consequently has a positive impact on wellbeing and happiness. In addition to its motivational value, happiness monitors one’s immediate wellbeing and interjects positive mood in the way individuals cope with daily demands, challenges, and pressures.

It is this positivity that encourages the emotional energy required to increase one’s motivational level to get things done, in short, it helps individuals to achieve what they want to achieve and tells them how well they are doing (Bar-On, 2001).

Research conducted by Furnham (2003) indicated that a large amount of the variance found in happiness and wellbeing to be determined by people’s emotion-related self-perceptions and dispositions such as the ability to regulate emotions, relationship skills, and social competence.

While these EI skills are not the sole contributor to levels of happiness, it is important to recognize their impact, with over 50% of the total variances in happiness being attributed to emotional intelligence competencies.

From Aristotle to Freud, the emphasis on the optimization of happiness has been thoroughly discussed. To augment happiness one is often required to use more sophisticated behavioral patterns such as self-regulation to subdue instant pleasure motivations.

Contemporary psychological research continues to recognize the need for this form of optimization. Mischel (1974) explicitly taught children how to delay immediate pleasures for greater long-term gain. The ability to delay gratification is important in many aspects of cognitive development given the capacity for such delays encourages an increase in cognitive competence and social maturity.

17 Exercises To Develop Emotional Intelligence

These 17 Emotional Intelligence Exercises [PDF] will help others strengthen their relationships, lower stress, and enhance their wellbeing through improved EQ.

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6 YouTube Videos and TED Talks on Emotional Intelligence

We recommend watching the following videos for more insight into Emotional Intelligence.

The Power of Emotional Intelligence – Travis Bradberry

You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions – your brain creates them – Lisa Feldman Barrett

6 Steps to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence – Ramona Hacker

Learning Human Values Via Emotional Intelligence – Ruby Bakshi Khurdi

Your Forensic Mirror: Applying Emotional Intelligence To Achieve Success – Paula Clarke

The People Currency: Practicing Emotional Intelligence – Jason Bridges

See also: 15 Most Valuable Emotional Intelligence TED Talks on YouTube .

“Emotional intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80 percent of the “success” in our lives.”

Joshua Freedman

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

Daniel Goleman

Maya Angelou

“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.”

“Emotional intelligent people use self-awareness to their advantage to assess a situation, get perspective, listen without judgment, process, and hold back from reacting head on. At times, it means the decision to sit on your decision. By thinking over your situation rationally, without drama, you’ll eventually arrive at other, more sane conclusions.”

Marcel Schwantes

“Never stop because you are afraid – you are never so likely to be wrong.”

Fridtjof Nansen

“We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.”

Marshall B. Rosenberg

“What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

“Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.”

Benjamin Franklin

“If you are interested in emotions, learning about them will satisfy your curiosity. If you depend upon emotional knowledge in your job, learning more about emotions would likely help.”

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Nelson Mandela

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.”

Dale Carnegie

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head – it is the unique intersection of both.”

David Caruso

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

“It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it.”

“Emotional intelligence is what humans are good at and that’s not a sideshow. That’s the cutting edge of human intelligence.”

Ray Kurzweil

“Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.”

Robert K. Cooper

“The strength of character and emotional intelligence to face your failures and learn from them are at the core of success.”

Robert Kiyosaki

“Surround yourself with amazingly intelligent men and women. The people I work with not only are smarter than I am, possessing both intellectual and emotional intelligence, but also share my determination to succeed. I will not make an important decision without them.”

George Steinbrenner

“What I’ve come to realize is that emotional intelligence was the only way I knew how to lead, and is, in my option, the only way to inspire real change.”

Kevin Allen

Find more emotional intelligence quotes here .

Emotional Intelligence is important, the value and benefits of developing your EQ are extensive and in many areas massively under-utilised. Emotional intelligence is the gateway to living a more fulfilled and happy life, and here’s why:

• Emotional intelligence allows you to understand and manage your emotions in order to self-motivate and to create positive social interactions; it’s the first step in realizing your true potential.
• The value and benefits of EI are vast in terms of personal, academic, and professional success.
• Individuals with higher levels of emotional intelligence are less likely to succumb to the negative impacts of stressors, while effectively help individuals deal with negative emotions and promote more positive emotions in its place.
• Intellect works best when it’s accompanied by high emotional intelligence.
• Utilizing and developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can greatly improve both job performance and the social capabilities of individuals within that workplace.
• Emotional Intelligence is a useful skill to prevent making decisions based on emotional biases.
• The process of successful communication and negotiation are closely linked to high levels of EQ.
• Key EI facilitators such as happiness contribute to our self-actualization.

Thanks for reading! I hope you have enjoyed this journey into the world of emotional intelligence and the important role it plays in achieving personal, physical and occupational success.

For further reading:

• 13 Emotional Intelligence Activities & Exercises
• 26 Best Emotional Intelligence Books (Reviews + Summaries)
• The Emotion Wheel: What is It and How to Use it? [+PDF]

We hope you found this article useful. Don’t forget to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free .

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This is great because it is a skill that can be developed over time and the results is towards success and more meaningful personal awareness of oneself life in general and the life of an entrepreneur especially

Now i know that helping others develop their own EI is part of my own EI growth as well. i plan to put this into action more intentionally to increase overall productivity.

I think it’s important to remember that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed and improved over time. By practicing mindfulness, improving communication skills, and working on self-awareness, individuals can become more emotionally intelligent and ultimately, more successful in all aspects of their lives. Thank You!

The article is powerful, it offers 360 degree of EQ with practical examples.

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Developing Socio-Emotional Intelligence Through Self-Reflection

• First Online: 03 August 2018

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• Camila Devis-Rozental 2  

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This chapter explores the notion of reflection, evidencing its importance and how to develop it. Following this, a case study investigating peer support activities within a higher education classroom environment is presented to gauge whether it instigated reflection. Findings from the case study as well as other relevant research suggesting that students need to have formed early bonds to be able to share a healthy supportive relationship that instigates reflection are discussed. Following this the chapter moves onto the idea that the term “reflection” may have lost its meaningfulness, as it has been over-applied in various areas of practice. Whilst acknowledging the traditional models of reflection as important, the chapter also explores how self-awareness can be developed through mindfulness, using The Johari Window and journaling.

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Devis-Rozental, C. (2018). Developing Socio-Emotional Intelligence Through Self-Reflection. In: Developing Socio-Emotional Intelligence in Higher Education Scholars. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-94036-6_6

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Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence can improve resilience, a better understanding of emotional intelligence can help us be more resilient..

Posted August 24, 2020

• What Is Resilience?
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If you’ve ever had a stressful situation at work, an argument with a family member, or a break up with a partner, you may recall thinking “how could I have handled that differently?” Or perhaps you leave these kinds of stressful situations feeling overwhelmed, angry, or discouraged. The good news is that there are practical ways to reflect on our emotions and manage the way that we respond. The ability to effectively do this is known as emotional intelligence .

Dr. Daniel Goleman has been researching and writing about emotional intelligence for over two decades. Dr. Goleman has been educating people about how to integrate emotional intelligence into education , the workplace, and leadership roles. The premise of his work is that we can improve the quality of our relationships by understanding ourselves, understanding others, and knowing how to effectively communicate. Dr. Goleman’s research and writing have influenced how I see the connections between emotional intelligence and resilience .

Some of us are naturally more emotionally intelligent , though we must all pay attention to how we are interacting with others. Many people benefit from increasing their emotional intelligence, or at least certain aspects of the way they understand and engage with others. Because having emotional intelligence generally improves our relationships, as well as helps us respond well in a variety of situations, it can be linked to resilience.

A person who is self-aware, socially adaptable, and empathetic will be able to survive and thrive on the other side of a life crisis because they have the social and relational skills to be able to handle unexpected and unfortunate circumstances. They know how to advocate for themselves, to problem solve, and to seek support when they need it the most.

In addition, emotionally intelligent individuals know how to provide empathy to those around them who may also be affected by a crisis or dire situation. Being supportive and compassionate to others can have a positive impact on our emotional adjustment—when we feel needed and believe that we can help others, we also become stronger and more resilient.

While the development of social skills is an important piece of emotional intelligence, this is only one aspect of it. Other important components of emotional intelligence include:

• an understanding of self—demonstrating awareness of our emotions but also how we affect others
• a desire to know and understand others—demonstrating that we are interested in others and seek to engage with them meaningfully
• the ability to empathize—understanding the experiences of others and being willing to accept those that differ from our own
• the motivation to persist and overcome challenges—having the energy to reflect on our choices and to make changes
• the ability to regulate and manage one's emotions—controlling intense emotions and coping with negative thoughts and feelings effectively

Resilience is important to living a healthy and happy life. By not allowing circumstances to get the best of us and keep us down, we can rise up above times of trial and believe that we can survive and even thrive because we have endured struggles. If we believe that we are not broken by circumstances, but rather that the big picture of our life is bigger than our specific circumstances at any given time, we can manage the intensity of our emotions and become more resilient.

I wonder what would happen if we started a revolution to promote emotional intelligence as the best way of building resilience? What would happen if we taught emotional intelligence as part of an educational curriculum, alongside of other core areas of knowledge? In the world today, where children are forced to grow up quickly, where they are exposed to tragedy and violence in every direction, and where we can never predict when someone will have to endure an unexpected loss or prolonged suffering—why isn't emotional intelligence widely known as the key to resilience?

Carla Shuman, Ph.D., is the owner and director of Mindful Solutions, LLC in Arlington, Virginia, a private practice that provides comprehensive mental health services with a mission to promote resilience.

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The 4 Ways to Self-Reflect On Your Own Emotional Intelligence

Have you heard of Emotional Intelligence?

We all have it to some degree, and we all use it every single day of our lives.

It can be a very useful skill to have, both in our professional and personal lives, however, to be able to develop it, you must be able to work upward from a strong foundation, and that begins with inward self-reflection.

In this Insight article, I will walk you through the 4 ways you can begin to identify your own level of Emotional Intelligence, so you can harness it and help develop its potential.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Sometimes abbreviated to EI, Emotional Intelligence is your ability to identify and manage your own emotions and adapt to those of people around you.

When you understand what and why you’re feeling the way you do, you become more aware of your actions and can control your behaviour more effectively. This emotional consciousness allows you to grow as a person and develop a deeper appreciation of who you are and who you interact with, so you are able to nurture stronger relationships.

You can read more in my article, EI is the new Black! Emotional Intelligence and the Impact on Your Career .

Whether or not this is a new concept to you, following these 4 simple tips can be a useful step on your journey toward discovering more about yourself and your emotional intelligence.

1. Be more mindful of how you feel

In today’s manic life, we rush around from place to place and our emotions don’t even get a second thought. They are still there, but our almighty to-do lists seem to be all that matters.

From today onward, practise taking time out two or three times a day, to stop for a few seconds, take a few breaths and ask yourself how you feel. Consider why you feel this way and the impact it’s having on both yourself and those around you.

Are you feeling happy? Content? Satisfied? Angry? Anxious? Why? Is it something lingering over from last night? An upcoming presentation? A promotion? A working lunch at your favourite restaurant?

You will immediately realise how much you’ve been missing out on, and what your body has been trying to express. Taking this precious time to do an emotion check will reconnect you with inner sensations and help you better appreciate the context of why you feel the way you do.

Continuing to do this every day will help you balance out your self-awareness and start you on the path to being able to take more control.

2. Observe your behaviour

Once you have begun to consider your emotions, the next step is to reflect on your different behaviours throughout the day in response to them.

The way we act is a physical manifestation of the way we feel. For example, anxiety may make you fidget, or anger may cause you to lash out at an innocent person.

Developing your emotional intelligence is as much about being able to manage your associated behaviour as it is observing your emotional experiences.

3. Question your views 

The digital world today has made everyone’s opinions very public and unavoidable, which can have a significant impact on our own true feelings.

For example, being always surrounded by similar people can put you in a group-think situation, where your thoughts are always reinforced by those around you, leaving you close-minded and cut off.

Take the time to expand your horizons and consider that there’s always another side to every story. Challenge your preconceived notions and force yourself out of your thought comfort zone. Be open to another person’s journey.

This will help open your mind and be more in tune with people outside of your usual circle, as well as help you gain a better perspective on things and be open to new ideas.

4. Take responsibility for your emotions  

The three above factors, emotions, behaviour and opinions, all stem directly from you and you alone. Sure, they are affected by outside influences, but they’re still part of you.

Don’t disassociate yourself from them or pass the blame. Instead, learn to accept responsibility.

When you begin to take ownership of your emotions and your actions, you will realise how in control you actually are, and how to channel every part of yourself to become a better person.

Emotional Intelligence is an ongoing and worthwhile journey

Emotional Intelligence isn’t something that you can develop overnight. It’s something we all have. It’s closely aligned to personality, in that it’s malleable at an early age but with coaching and self-awareness, it can be developed. EI is a deep and powerful connection to both yourself and those around you, which takes time to develop, and then continual improvement to nurture.

It is definitely worth every effort you invest in it. Being able to read people’s emotional states and adapting your behaviour accordingly by harnessing your emotions will get you very far in life, both at work and personally.

How can Lifeology Help You?

Having years of experience assisting people to understand and enhance their Emotional Intelligence, I have helped many people discover their true potential in both their working and personal lives.

Although our Emotional Intelligence becomes more ‘set in’ with age, it is malleable and, along with self-awareness and coaching, can be focused on and enhanced in an effective way, to improve career growth and success.

Feel free to contact me to find out how!

For more information, contact Kerryn at [email protected] to unlock your emotional potential today.

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Emotional intelligence - List of Essay Samples And Topic Ideas

An essay on emotional intelligence can explore the concept of emotional intelligence, its components, and its importance in personal and professional success. It can discuss how individuals can develop emotional intelligence skills, their role in leadership and relationships, and the impact of emotional intelligence on decision-making and well-being. A vast selection of complimentary essay illustrations pertaining to Emotional Intelligence you can find at Papersowl. You can use our samples for inspiration to write your own essay, research paper, or just to explore a new topic for yourself.

Self-awareness as the Main Factor of Emotional Intelligence

Humans have complex emotions. For instance, sometimes, we learn about our emotions naturally. An example would be; when we feel hungry, so we eat, which you can see that there is a course of action in the sample model. Thus, once we fully learn to understand our emotions, it can help us to recognize our own actions or behavior, and that includes other people as well. Nowadays, the knowledge of Emotional intelligence has become a crucial skill. The ability to […]

Domains, Concept and Key Areas of Emotional Intelligence

The Meaning of Emotions Etymologically, the word emotion comes from the Latin "removere," which means "to move." It can also mean "to stir up," "agitate," or "excite." So, emotion is the moved or stirred-up state of a living being. It is a stirred-up state of feeling, which is how it appears to the individual himself. Definition: Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive and recognize emotions, assimilate feelings, and acknowledge the message and meaning of emotions. Different people have […]

Controlling myself and my Emotions

The scholar Howard Gardener states that there are multiple intelligences. “He described an individual’s cognitive abilities in terms of seven relatively independent but interacting intelligences: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinaesthetic, intrapersonal and interpersonal.” (IJCRSEE, 2016) The academic John Dewey, focuses more on intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligences. Interpersonal refers to the understanding and the act of relating to other people, while Intrapersonal refers to introspection and self-reflection. Dewey believed that the human being has to interact with what surrounds him in […]

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Discussions on Measuring and Determining the Emotional Intelligence

Many specialized programs and curricula used in schools today have been inspired, in part, by emotional intelligence theory. They were created to help educators both understand and apply emotional and social intelligence in their schools, mainly for the purposes of preventing and managing behavioral issues as well as fostering safe and supportive learning environments. These programs help to address the emotional needs of the students, which literally helps to develop the architecture of their brains, making it possible for them […]

The Effects of Self-Talk on a Basketball Player’s Performance 

Two different professional basketball players step up to the free-throw line in a tied game with a few seconds left during the fourth quarter. The anxiety caused by the context of the situation stimulates the nervous system; therefore, the brain must be able to process the stimulation and allow these players to evaluate the situation. Athlete one, who consulted with a sports psychologist, was able to handle the pressure and help their team win the game. Athlete two, who did […]

Decoding Emotional Intelligence: Evaluations, Traps, and Forthcoming Avenues

Emotional acumen, often hailed as the cornerstone of interpersonal dynamics, has emerged as a central focus of contemporary discourse across diverse arenas. This enigmatic blend of self-awareness, empathy, and adept emotional management permeates myriad spheres, from personal relationships to professional realms, dictating success and fulfillment. Yet, amidst the clamor for its comprehension lies a labyrinth of assessment challenges, pitfalls, and the beckoning of uncharted territories. Embarking on the quest to gauge emotional intelligence unravels a tapestry woven with intricate threads […]

The Spectrum of Emotional Intelligence: a Journey into Human Understanding

In our quest to comprehend human cognition, the conventional lens of intelligence quotient (IQ) has long dominated. Yet, in the evolving narrative of human psychology, attention has shifted towards a more intricate and comprehensive concept: Emotional Intelligence (EI). Beyond the confines of IQ lies a vast spectrum of emotional acumen, encompassing the intricate interplay of self-awareness, empathy, and social adeptness. At the core of Emotional Intelligence lies the profound trait of self-awareness. This cornerstone attribute delves into the depths of […]

Connecting Cultures: the Power of Emotional Intelligence in Diplomacy

Hey there, fellow citizens! Today, let's chat about something that's close to my heart and crucial in today's interconnected world – emotional intelligence in cross-cultural diplomacy. Now, I know the term might sound a bit fancy, but bear with me – it's essentially about understanding and navigating emotions to build stronger connections between different cultures. In our fast-paced global landscape, where tweets and emojis often replace face-to-face conversations, the role of emotional intelligence in diplomacy can't be overstated. Gone are […]

Mastering the Money Game: how Emotional Intelligence our Financial Moves

Hey there, fellow citizens! Let's dive into something we all deal with – money. Now, I'm not about to hit you with some fancy financial jargon or bore you with complex theories. No, today, we're talking about the not-so-secret weapon we all have in our financial arsenal: emotional intelligence. So, what's emotional intelligence got to do with your bank balance? Turns out, quite a bit. Picture this: you're eyeing that shiny new gadget, and your gut says, "Go for it!" […]

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• Emma Stanton , specialist registrar in psychiatry 1 ,
• Douglas Noble , public health registrar 2
• 1 South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust
• 2 NHS Tower Hamlets
• dremmastanton{at}gmail.com

Emma Stanton and Douglas Noble consider whether improving emotional intelligence enhances patient safety

Since Lord Darzi’s review of the NHS stated that health services perform better when clinicians are leading, 1 opportunities for doctors to develop leadership skills have increased considerably. Many leadership courses focus on learning about the complicated architecture of the NHS and how to lead within such a structure. Although an understanding of the broader healthcare system is undoubtedly beneficial, further, and crucial, dimensions of leadership are self reflection and effective communication.

Communication skills

Although communication skills are now a central part of the undergraduate and postgraduate medical curriculums, patients continue to complain that their doctor or healthcare professional didn’t listen to them or seemed distracted. 2 For example, we once observed a general practitioner, who, despite the patient articulating their problem succinctly and clearly, immediately responded with the question: “So tell me about the problem?” This is reminiscent of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest , 3 where on consulting with McMurphy the psychiatrist fails to listen. Instead, he sits behind his desk, takes notes, avoids eye contact, and contributes the occasional condescending remark. This exemplifies what is meant by a lack of emotional intelligence. It not only damages the doctor-patient relationship, it also has potential to compromise patient safety. In McMurphy’s case this contributed to an institutional riot.

Safer care and emotional intelligence

It is widely agreed that determining intelligence quotient alone is insufficient to fully measure cognitive ability. 4 Deeper, more nuanced measures are necessary. Emotional intelligence provides a framework for measuring and articulating the ability and capacity to identify and manage one’s own emotions as well as those of others.

Emotional intelligence is not a new concept. It originates from the phrase “social intelligence,” which was used in 1920 to describe the skills entailed in managing and understanding others.

Emotional intelligence can be described in a variety of ways. One well known way, which is receiving widespread media coverage, is described in Daniel Goleman’s best seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ . 5

Goleman describes five core characteristics of emotional intelligence: self awareness; self regulation; motivation; empathy; and social skill. Goleman found that more than 90% of the difference between high performers and average performers in senior leadership resulted from emotional intelligence rather than cognitive ability safety (see table ⇓ ). 6 We ask whether a wider awareness of emotional intelligence could lead to improvements in patient.

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Self awareness

In 2001, a patient was given vincristine spinally. Vincristine should never be given by that route, and the patient tragically died. Two doctors, both employees of the hospital trust for less than six months, had assumed unwarranted competency. Senior supervision was lacking.

The subsequent inquiry stated: “A newcomer assumes that he knows what the organisation is about, assumes others in the setting have the same idea, and practically never bothers to check out these assumptions.” 7 Despite concerns by the less experienced doctor, the culture did not facilitate this concern being articulated.

Possessing sufficient self awareness and confidence to question clinical decisions is a necessary defence against medical error, rather than being a threat or challenge to authority. Self awareness relies on having a deep understanding of emotions; strengths and weaknesses; needs; and drives. Recognising that mood affects everyone’s performance and behaviour and knowing when to ask for help is paramount.

Unquestionably, healthcare can be frustrating. Patients or colleagues may be late, equipment might be unavailable, and unanticipated events are all too frequent. Clinicians are expected to remain calm, adapting to constant changes and disruption without panic or judgment. To do this, impulses must be controlled—for example, rushing to give a blood transfusion in an emergency without stopping to verify the patient’s identity.

Self regulation

People who manage their emotions might be considered to lack passion, whereas individuals with fiery temperaments may be considered charismatic. Self regulation is a skill, from the toolbox of emotional intelligence, that controls and challenges emotions. This involves reflection and thoughtfulness. Being in control of your feelings creates an environment of trust and openness that is palpable to others and vital to improving patient safety. Following a medical error, self regulation means resisting the urge to blame individuals, one of the main facets of the blame culture.

Leaders in both business and health care are frequently high achievers. High levels of motivation are often accompanied by an intense passion to work hard, beyond seeking money and status. Levels of motivation are often played out at appraisal. Clinicians who are highly motivated will often track their progress, whereas those with less motivation may have incomplete or absent records. An inner drive can be attractive, infectious, and effective at building a strong team.

Another dimension of emotional intelligence is empathy—the ability to understand and read the emotional make up of others. Doctors are rarely given feedback about how they make the patient feel emotionally during an appointment or admission. If doctors are excessively preoccupied with their own emotions, they may be unable to consider the feelings of others.

It is well documented that on psychiatry wards, the emotions of those present on the ward will be hugely affected by the suicide or self harm of a patient. Clinical leaders need to be able to react in an emotionally intelligent manner to such intensely emotional events and to bring the healthcare team together to share their feelings and reactions openly.

Social skill

The final dimension of emotional intelligence is proficiency in managing relationships and building networks through social skill. Goleman suggests that social skill is the culmination of other dimensions of emotional intelligence. Individuals with a high level of social skill build bonds widely. Socially skilled individuals are able to move seamlessly across communities, hierarchies, and organisational boundaries. This makes social skill a core leadership competency. Within healthcare, it has the potential to enable the socially skilled healthcare professional to improve safety across primary and secondary care boundaries, and between the realms of mental and physical healthcare.

Innate or acquired?

Whether people can develop emotional intelligence bears similarities to the debate as to whether leadership skills are innate or acquired. In Outliers , Malcolm Gladwell suggests that the key to perceived genius is devoted practice. 8 Although there is a likely genetic component to emotional intelligence, it has been shown to improve with age and practice.

As with leadership, emotional intelligence cannot be taught on a brief didactic course. Behavioural therapy demonstrates that change with lasting results requires positive reinforcement over time. People learn best through motivation, extended practice, and feedback.

Emotional intelligence is essential

Emotional intelligence has moved from “nice to have” to “need to have.” Improvement in patient safety requires healthcare professionals to evolve from emotional unawareness to emotional intelligence. This will not only benefit the professional, the healthcare team, and the wider organisation but, most importantly, has the potential to improve patient safety.

Competing interests: None declared.

• ↵ Department of Health. High quality care for all: NHS next stage review final report . DH, 2008 .
• ↵ Snyder U. The doctor-patient relationship I: the web underscores the divide. Medscape Journal of Medicine 2008 ; 10 : 292 . OpenUrl
• ↵ Kesey K. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest . Picador Pan Books, 1973 .
• ↵ Gardner H. Frames of mind . Basic Books, 1983 .
• ↵ Goleman G. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ . Bloomsbury Publishing, 1996 .
• ↵ Goleman D. What makes a leader? Harvard Business Review, 2004 .
• ↵ Department of Health. External inquiry into the adverse incident that occurred at Queen’s Medical Centre, Nottingham, 4 January 2001 . DH, 2001 .
• ↵ Gladwell M. Outliers . Penguin, 2009 .

​​​​​​​Emotional Intelligence: Theory Development and Self-Reflection

Emotional Intelligence refers to the ability to be able to understand your own emotions along with others (Mayer 2004). Many believe that emotions can do more harm than good, especially in any work or professional environment. But if emotions are handled and understood in a correct way, this can be linked to emotional intelligence. As society is continuing to be more inclusive, grow, and become more united, emotional intelligence is becoming a vital aspect to have a healthy and successful environment in any workplace. Emotional Intelligence is recognized in many areas of life, and now is seen as an important factor in the workplace. 

Emotional Intelligence is a psychological theory that was founded and developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990. They define emotional intelligence as "Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth." These two developed the psychological theory that we know today as emotional intelligence (Fernández-Berrocal 2006).  This shows that emotional intelligence is a newer and modern concept in our society since it was developed in the more recent years, compared to other psychological theories. Emotional Intelligence was soon developed more in depth by Daniel Goleman, due to his book on emotional intelligence. His book defines emotional intelligence into different categories (Goleman 1998). The categories of emotional intelligence explain how emotional intelligence appears and the fully developed steps to emotional intelligence. 

To be able to understand what emotional intelligence is and is developed, there are four specific categories developed by Goleman. According to Landry (2019), there is self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Self-Awareness is to be able to perceive and recognize your emotions and the effect they have on others and even your strengths and weaknesses. This means being able to recognize the emotion you are feeling accurately and understanding what you need to improve on and what you are successful at. Self-Management is the second step, which is the ability to manage those emotions, and not react on impulses appropriately. This takes place after you have recognized the emotion, and the plan on how you are going to act upon it. Social Awareness is the third step, and is your ability to recognize others emotions and not just yourself. This means being able to recognize your emotion, plan on how you will react, and then understand how that reaction is going to affect others. Relationship Management is the last component, which is your ability to influence others and resolve conflict correctly.  This is the last component of emotional intelligence and is what is viewed from others. Your emotions can affect other people positively or negatively, and understanding how to recognize, manage, and being socially aware can impact relationships. These four components are the stepping stone to understanding what emotional intelligence is, and how to take the steps to understand one self’s emotional intelligence. 

The basis of emotional intelligence and four steps of emotional intelligence is becoming more and more relevant in any workplace. In this field, people are constantly interacting with one another and making decisions and emotions can affect those. Emotional Intelligence can change the atmosphere of any workplace in a negative or positive way. Without the presence of emotional intelligence and using the four steps, a workplace can suffer greatly. According to Clark & Polesello (2017), “the composition of the workforce is changing, these changes require a new skill set (from individuals and organizations) – skills that enable leaders, individuals, and organizations to leverage this increased diversity to establish a competitive advantage by harnessing the talents of diverse individuals toward the achievement of organizational goals” (p. 337). It is important to understand how emotional intelligence is becoming an important asset to organizations and their culture. 

The fully developed steps of emotional intelligence show emotional competence skills that are used in the workplace. According to Goleman (1998), as I define it, an emotional competence is “a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance at work.” Some skills or emotional competencies that are needed to help run a successful workplace are communicating with each other and discussing topics openly, listening to issues of both parties, being able to manage conflict, and inspiring one another to be the best they can be. Being able to do these things will help improve the success of any workplace. The four steps and competence skills in understanding what emotional intelligence is and applied can be seen and used in the workplace. 

Being self-aware in the workplace can help you make decisions, self-accessing yourself, and having confidence. Being emotionally self-aware can help you make decisions. This can be seen by completing your own work, and making business decisions. Being able to accurately self-access yourself can help you understand what you’re bad and good at. An example of this is taking on projects that you are good at, asking for help, and motivating yourself to learn or train more about what you aren’t as good at. Having self-confidence can help you believe in yourself and complete tasks more efficiently. An example of this is taking risks, or even having a better job performance due to your confidence. Recognizing your emotions and being self-aware are skills that can be a step in the right direction to hold emotional intelligence. 

Self-Management is the workplace can help with emotional self-control, take initiative, achievement and adaptability. Having emotional self-control means not acting on your impulse emotions. This can be seen as not evoking yourself in conflict with coworkers and showing hostility, improving your work while under pressure, and overall preventing negative actions. Taking imitative means understanding a problem and solving it to be better. This means understanding the issue at hand, improving yourself, and coming up with new ideas. Achievement is having the motivation to meet the standards that are reached beyond them. This can be seen as getting deadlines completed on time, or taking on opportunities to improve yourself. Adaptability is being flexible with yourself and others or in situations. This can be seen as not agreeing with someone but seeing their point of view, or understanding that things can happen abruptly and you have to adjust to it. 

Social Awareness in the workplace is to understand employees or coworkers emotions, needs, or concerns. This helps others feel more comfortable in the workplace overall. There is empathy, organizational awareness, and service orientation. Having empathy is overall understanding others emotions. Empathy means hearing someone’s thoughts and feelings. Whatever someone says you listen and take note. Having organizational awareness is understanding the dynamic between yourself and others in the organization. This can be seen as recognizing the values of an organization and other people’s differences. Service orientation is helping others. This can be seen as going out of your way to help someone who is struggling when it isn’t spoken, and understanding other people’s needs.

Relationship Management is the ability to make relationships with others and work well with others. There is inspirational leadership, influence, teamwork and collaboration, and conflict management. Inspirational leadership is getting people together to make them feel a part of something greater. This can be seen as viewing your subordinates as equals and encouraging them to participate in something inspiring and motivating. Influence is getting people to follow you and support you. This can be seen as working on projects together, or just gaining support from a coworker. Teamwork and collaboration is working well with others as a team. This can be seen as taking on team projects, diving responsibility and building a team. Conflict Management is handling issues (Fuge 2014).  This can be seen as negotiating issues calmly and working with one another to understand bad feelings or situations. 

As society’s culture continues to change, emotional intelligence is becoming a more important factor in job selection and is something that employers look for. According to Zeinder (2004), a survey of benchmark practices among major corporations found that four out five companies are trying to promote emotional intelligence in their organizations. This proves that this is becoming more important in our modern world for workplace expectations. Zeinder also claims that having emotional intelligence is shown to have more successful performance especially in management positions. Even more, they found that emotional intelligence can predict overall job effectiveness. 

Overall, emotional intelligence is a newer psychological theory that is appearing more often in today’s society, and especially in our workforce. The four steps of emotional intelligence and emotional competency are the building blocks of emotional intelligence. As we continue to become more advanced, culturally aware, and open to others, emotional intelligence is going to be seen as a requirement for job selection. 

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