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12 Strategies to Writing the Perfect College Essay

College admission committees sift through thousands of college essays each year. Here’s how to make yours stand out.

Pamela Reynolds

When it comes to deciding who they will admit into their programs, colleges consider many criteria, including high school grades, extracurricular activities, and ACT and SAT scores. But in recent years, more colleges are no longer considering test scores.

Instead, many (including Harvard through 2026) are opting for “test-blind” admission policies that give more weight to other elements in a college application. This policy change is seen as fairer to students who don’t have the means or access to testing, or who suffer from test anxiety.

So, what does this mean for you?

Simply that your college essay, traditionally a requirement of any college application, is more important than ever.

A college essay is your unique opportunity to introduce yourself to admissions committees who must comb through thousands of applications each year. It is your chance to stand out as someone worthy of a seat in that classroom.

A well-written and thoughtful essay—reflecting who you are and what you believe—can go a long way to separating your application from the slew of forgettable ones that admissions officers read. Indeed, officers may rely on them even more now that many colleges are not considering test scores.

Below we’ll discuss a few strategies you can use to help your essay stand out from the pack. We’ll touch on how to start your essay, what you should write for your college essay, and elements that make for a great college essay.

Be Authentic

More than any other consideration, you should choose a topic or point of view that is consistent with who you truly are.

Readers can sense when writers are inauthentic.

Inauthenticity could mean the use of overly flowery language that no one would ever use in conversation, or it could mean choosing an inconsequential topic that reveals very little about who you are.

Use your own voice, sense of humor, and a natural way of speaking.

Whatever subject you choose, make sure it’s something that’s genuinely important to you and not a subject you’ve chosen just to impress. You can write about a specific experience, hobby, or personality quirk that illustrates your strengths, but also feel free to write about your weaknesses.

Honesty about traits, situations, or a childhood background that you are working to improve may resonate with the reader more strongly than a glib victory speech.

Grab the Reader From the Start

You’ll be competing with so many other applicants for an admission officer’s attention.

Therefore, start your essay with an opening sentence or paragraph that immediately seizes the imagination. This might be a bold statement, a thoughtful quote, a question you pose, or a descriptive scene.

Starting your essay in a powerful way with a clear thesis statement can often help you along in the writing process. If your task is to tell a good story, a bold beginning can be a natural prelude to getting there, serving as a roadmap, engaging the reader from the start, and presenting the purpose of your writing.

Focus on Deeper Themes

Some essay writers think they will impress committees by loading an essay with facts, figures, and descriptions of activities, like wins in sports or descriptions of volunteer work. But that’s not the point.

College admissions officers are interested in learning more about who you are as a person and what makes you tick.

They want to know what has brought you to this stage in life. They want to read about realizations you may have come to through adversity as well as your successes, not just about how many games you won while on the soccer team or how many people you served at a soup kitchen.

Let the reader know how winning the soccer game helped you develop as a person, friend, family member, or leader. Make a connection with your soup kitchen volunteerism and how it may have inspired your educational journey and future aspirations. What did you discover about yourself?

Show Don’t Tell

As you expand on whatever theme you’ve decided to explore in your essay, remember to show, don’t tell.

The most engaging writing “shows” by setting scenes and providing anecdotes, rather than just providing a list of accomplishments and activities.

Reciting a list of activities is also boring. An admissions officer will want to know about the arc of your emotional journey too.

Try Doing Something Different

If you want your essay to stand out, think about approaching your subject from an entirely new perspective. While many students might choose to write about their wins, for instance, what if you wrote an essay about what you learned from all your losses?

If you are an especially talented writer, you might play with the element of surprise by crafting an essay that leaves the response to a question to the very last sentence.

You may want to stay away from well-worn themes entirely, like a sports-related obstacle or success, volunteer stories, immigration stories, moving, a summary of personal achievements or overcoming obstacles.

However, such themes are popular for a reason. They represent the totality of most people’s lives coming out of high school. Therefore, it may be less important to stay away from these topics than to take a fresh approach.

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Write With the Reader in Mind

Writing for the reader means building a clear and logical argument in which one thought flows naturally from another.

Use transitions between paragraphs.

Think about any information you may have left out that the reader may need to know. Are there ideas you have included that do not help illustrate your theme?

Be sure you can answer questions such as: Does what you have written make sense? Is the essay organized? Does the opening grab the reader? Is there a strong ending? Have you given enough background information? Is it wordy?

Write Several Drafts

Set your essay aside for a few days and come back to it after you’ve had some time to forget what you’ve written. Often, you’ll discover you have a whole new perspective that enhances your ability to make revisions.

Start writing months before your essay is due to give yourself enough time to write multiple drafts. A good time to start could be as early as the summer before your senior year when homework and extracurricular activities take up less time.

Read It Aloud

Writer’s tip : Reading your essay aloud can instantly uncover passages that sound clumsy, long-winded, or false.

Don’t Repeat

If you’ve mentioned an activity, story, or anecdote in some other part of your application, don’t repeat it again in your essay.

Your essay should tell college admissions officers something new. Whatever you write in your essay should be in philosophical alignment with the rest of your application.

Also, be sure you’ve answered whatever question or prompt may have been posed to you at the outset.

Ask Others to Read Your Essay

Be sure the people you ask to read your essay represent different demographic groups—a teacher, a parent, even a younger sister or brother.

Ask each reader what they took from the essay and listen closely to what they have to say. If anyone expresses confusion, revise until the confusion is cleared up.

Pay Attention to Form

Although there are often no strict word limits for college essays, most essays are shorter rather than longer. Common App, which students can use to submit to multiple colleges, suggests that essays stay at about 650 words.

“While we won’t as a rule stop reading after 650 words, we cannot promise that an overly wordy essay will hold our attention for as long as you’d hoped it would,” the Common App website states.

In reviewing other technical aspects of your essay, be sure that the font is readable, that the margins are properly spaced, that any dialogue is set off properly, and that there is enough spacing at the top. Your essay should look clean and inviting to readers.

End Your Essay With a “Kicker”

In journalism, a kicker is the last punchy line, paragraph, or section that brings everything together.

It provides a lasting impression that leaves the reader satisfied and impressed by the points you have artfully woven throughout your piece.

So, here’s our kicker: Be concise and coherent, engage in honest self-reflection, and include vivid details and anecdotes that deftly illustrate your point.

While writing a fantastic essay may not guarantee you get selected, it can tip the balance in your favor if admissions officers are considering a candidate with a similar GPA and background.

Write, revise, revise again, and good luck!

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About the Author

Pamela Reynolds is a Boston-area feature writer and editor whose work appears in numerous publications. She is the author of “Revamp: A Memoir of Travel and Obsessive Renovation.”

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Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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I know how you feel...

🤯 your days are jam-packed with challenging classes and extracurriculars, and now you’ve gotta apply to college on top of that 😭 you’ve got a ton of pressure to get into college and make yourself and your family proud, but honestly… you just have no idea how . ☹️ you’ve tried drafting your college essays, but every time they just sound so… bland . and how the heck do you convey your entire story in just 650 words 😵‍💫 you have no clue where to begin , so you procrastinate even starting. 😢 you’re beginning to think that you just aren’t unique enough to get into your dream schools., your mind is swirling with questions, but you’ve got no one to answer them., 🤨 how do i avoid sounding cliché and instead stand out 🤨 do i really have to sell my pain as a “sob story” to get into college that feels icky 🤨 how do i create college essays that feel authentic instead of braggy, and sooner or later…, you become trapped in a time-wasting cycle of scrapping and rewriting poor essay drafts., the stress increases, your well-being takes a toll, and college applications live on in your mind as literal h, e, double hockey sticks. (believe me, i’ve been there.), let's face it., college admissions strategy is not taught in most high schools... yet it can literally make or break an application., let’s cut the rumors & misconceptions that float in the hallways, yeah.

So you’re telling me you didn’t cure cancer or go through a seriously traumatic event? Neither did I, and I got into every school I applied to! Real talk: Everyone has a story to tell, no matter how big or how small. Sometimes, the most meaningful essays come from the smallest moments. You could make your whole essay about a trip to the grocery store! (And yes, someone has successfully done that.)

When you engage in deep self-reflection and use the right strategy, you can turn any story into a compelling college essay., sorry to break it to you, but while gpa can get you in the door, it won’t set you apart. most students will have similar scores as you, but no one has your story ., unlike grades, your college essays have the power to showcase the person behind the paper., top-tier universities are looking for students with a cohesive narrative and strong personal values (literally, most competitive universities mark character/personal qualities as "very important" on their common data sets) so what does this mean you need holistic college admissions strategy. our students get into their top schools because they build connections between their values, experiences, and interests throughout their entire application , you have what it takes., you have powerful stories. you have admirable values. but no one will know how incredible you are unless you effectively articulate these qualities in the best way. this is the strategy we teach inside the admissions edge., with test-optional policies & the ai boom..., now more than ever, colleges want to see your personal values shine through in your essays, activities, and the rest of your application..

Let’s flip this false belief right on its head: With my Proven Process, you will actually SAVE at least 3 hours a week. (Wait… really??) Yup, this course is carefully designed to best utilize your time every step of the way.

Without proper strategy, you will find yourself….

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^ This could be you!!

But first, have we met, hey there, i'm dyllen 👋, when i applied to college in 2018, i had big dreams of getting into top colleges, but i had no idea how . my parents weren’t familiar with the competitive college admissions landscape and i noticed a lack of guidance at my high school . (anyone relate) but after educating myself on the ins and outs of the college application process and developing my own strategy... i was accepted into every school i applied to including stanford, usc, ucla, nyu, and more. most importantly, i experienced an incredible journey of self-discovery, becoming more grounded in my values and identity than ever before., your application is more than what you've done.  it’s about how you strategically present your experiences and values to show the admissions committee who you are and your potential to succeed at their institution..

Even with my success, I was still *incredibly stressed* throughout the process. I spent so many months sifting through millions of random resources to figure out the strategy to get into my top schools, that I didn’t have a comfortable amount of TIME to actually execute what I had learned.

I’ve made the mistakes, put in the work, and felt the stress so you don’t have to., i have taken everything i’ve learned from….

• Years of coaching THOUSANDS of students across the world to successfully get into Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, USC, and more!
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…to create the ultimate success system for stress-free college apps.

Maggie – harvard university california, "through this course, i got into schools that i would never have fathomed getting into - schools with below 5% acceptance rates. it has truly been a dream come true.", "i loved how organized this entire course is and how easy it makes it for students to craft meaningful essays while also being authentic and truthful to who they are. this course allowed me to learn a lot about myself , and in turn, teach those reading my essays who i am as well.".

Julie – Columbia University California

"this course was like taking a bubble bath when there's a zombie apocalypse outside your door.", "the college application process was super stressful and scary, but dyllen made it easy to step back and get to the root of my problems . her course was super helpful because she identified specific things people did to make their essays impactful and impressive and made it easy to apply those methods to your own work . dyllen broke down the structure and made it easy to pinpoint the most interesting things about me and figure out what to write about. i have friends starting the application process, and i'm recommending (aggressively pushing) this course to them.", introducing..., the admissions edge, the program for high-achieving applicants to create stand-out college applications that gain acceptance to your dream schools, win $20,000+ in scholarships, and convey the true you..

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"This course helped me feel really confident about creating an outline and drafting my essays with all these examples that showed me how to put together all of my ideas.”​

“before the program, i felt like i was getting a ton of advice thrown at me, but had no examples or stories to prove that all this advice worked or how to put it all together. but what really helped me was reading the example essays in the course and seeing the breakdown of how admissions officers would interpret each part of the essay .".

Parent of Hudson – USC California

"dyllen pushed my son beyond anything i would've thought possible.", "my son learned more about writing in the two weeks between christmas and the new year than in his 4 years of school i only wish that we had found dyllen a year earlier. she went out of her way to be encouraging with rough love and pushed my son beyond anything i would've thought possible.", it's truly the complete success system., take a sneak peek inside the admissions edge.

Prep Module

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The Perfect Fit: How to Tailor Your Applications to the University Values

Discover Your Story - Brainstorming

Why Most Students Write Mediocre College Essays (And What YOU Are Going to Do Differently)

The Stand-Out Qualities Colleges Look For in Students

5+ Brainstorming Exercises

Essay Topic FAQs: Cliché Topics, Sob Stories, Application Theme, and More!

Craft Your Story - Structuring

• How to Choose Your Best Topic & Define Your Essay's Theme

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Write Your Story - Drafting & Revising

• Actionable Writing Strategies to Optimize Your Time, Showcase Your Unique Voice, and Make Your Essay 10x Better
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• Avoid Every Mistake & Overused Phrase I've Identified From Editing THOUSANDS of Essays
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How to Write The "Why Us" Essay

Fun fact: this is one of the trickiest essays to get right. most students fall into clichés, but you know your dream schools don't accept most students..

• How to Stop Sounding Like Everyone Else (And Use Our Proven Framework!)
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Supplemental Essay Strategy

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How to Repurpose Your Essays Across Multiple Applications

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Worksheets to Brainstorm & Outline Specific Prompts (such as the Diversity Essay, Why Major Essay, and more!)

• Effective Framing of Your Activities & Awards List

Your achievements are superrrrr impressive, but are you explaining them in the best way? Level up your achievements – just by the way you communicate them!

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The Complete Word Bank of Strong Verbs

The Common App vs UC App

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How to Maximize Your Chances of Winning Scholarships

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Scholarship Organization Sheet

And on top of all that... You're gonna get some sweet BONUSES to make success even easier!

Essays That Work: 30+ Successful College Essay Examples

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Specially trained on strategies to set you apart at the most competitive universities in the u.s our tools will help you develop & present your essays & activities for maximum impact – in ways that general ai tools cannot, *we believe ai is a tool, not a replacement for human power. we strongly discourage the use of ai to write your essays for you..

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"I got a full ride to an Ivy League!"

"with dyllen's program, i learned what to do before the writing process , how to level up the essays , and how to save crucial time by recycling essays in the best way possible there are plenty of resources on how to write essays but this program really gave me a new perspective on portraying me as a human and how to stand out as an international fgli student. i wouldn't have been able to make it without your help dyllen", vania – cornell university peru.

"I'm going to UPenn!"

"i learned how to better organize my essay response and i realized my response did not have to be one life-changing moment, but could be a series of events and life experiences that built my character ", maya – university of pennsylvania maryland, how much is it worth to you to stop spending hours frantically revising essay drafts that never had the right topic, structure, or strategy to begin with, if your essay still doesn't feel "right" after multiple revisions, your wording is not the problem, it's your topic & structure., 😇 save time sifting through random resources online and follow a proven 3-step process . 😇 save time & money on endless essay edits and learn to build a solid foundation for your essay from the ground up . 😇 save money on college consulting call packages with this self-guided solution . and most importantly... save yourself the stress., are you ready to create a winning college application – with ease, join the admissions edge and get instant access to....

• Holistic Application Strategy to Sharpen Your Spike
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Uriel – USC Presidential Scholar Washington

"it was definitely worth it i would recommend it", "the course helped me so much throughout my college application process. it really allowed me to add structure to the process and identify what i needed to work on . the workbook was amazing at helping me organize my ideas and evaluate what i truly wanted to convey in my essays . the videos and curriculum integrated into the course really helped me tell my story and be proud of my writing.", abraham – ucla california, "i never imagined i could craft the quality of essays necessary to be admitted to some of the country’s most competitive and high-ranked universities.", this program was invaluable in my journey to craft the best college application essays possible .  like most, the college application and essay writing process initially felt daunting and intimidating. but after enrolling in the ultimate guide to craft your story and completing the workbook, i understood more about who i was and the personal values and stories i wanted to convey throughout my college application essays . the step-by-step workbook allowed me to break the process down into more manageable pieces to which i could better fine-tune the details and be less stressed . everything is methodically well-planned and detailed.  dyllen also has an incredible team of editors whom i had the privilege to work with. they provided constructive and detailed feedback that allowed my essays to improve with each new draft. as a result, i was admitted into some of my top choices, including berkeley & ucla , and i am certain that i could not have done it without dyllen and the ultimate guide to craft your story., 100% risk-free guarantee, when you join the admissions edge, you gain access to the strategy you need to craft a powerful college application that will impress admissions officers. lack of results stems from lack of support. this is a proven process that has worked for thousands of students across the world, and if you fully commit and put in the work, you will achieve the results you desire. an investment in your education is invaluable. these are skills you will use in college and beyond so as you make a decision to commit, it's important to me that you feel safe. that is why i offer a 100% money-back guarantee. if you join and find the fit isn’t right, simply request a refund within 7 days of purchase. no strings attached., *don't be the person who logs on, downloads all the worksheets, absorbs all the content, and asks for their money back, k years of hard work have been poured into this program and i value your integrity to honor the support this program provides..

"I discovered my strengths, themes, and learned how to build connections between my experiences!"

Before using dyllen's resources, my essay ideas were scattered and i struggled to find themes. using the program, i discovered my strengths and how they connected to experiences and relationships i had . that helped me form cohesive stories that highlighted my creativity, perseverance, and successes . i realized how valuable it was to dig deep in my past, uncovering hobbies and challenges throughout my life, and thinking about how relationships shaped me, in the brainstorming exercises that dyllen provided. i also realized that tying several, what seemed like unrelated topics together was possible and helpful . i felt so relieved after using dyllen's program and talking with her over zoom calls. dyllen's prompts and structure made writing the essays so much easier, and actually fun . her instructions to use timelines helped me stay on track . overall, her program made this daunting process doable way less stressful . i am so grateful, sunny – university of california san diego california, proven strategy. step-by-step guide. real results..

Here's what happens once you enroll...

As soon as you enroll, you’ll be sent a welcome email with your username and password to access the admissions edge. then, everything is yours & you can get started right away, this course is perfect for you if..., you value a streamlined process over information overload., noise on the internet can be anxiety-provoking. there's so many random resources out there and it's hard to pick apart just the "good stuff". unlike my youtube videos, the content in this course is much richer . for every strategy i teach, i explain why you should do it, how it will impact admissions officers , and the consequences of not doing it. you will learn how to achieve each strategy with actionable steps and specific examples ., you believe in becoming a smarter, more confident version of yourself., this isn't just a college admissions course, it's a journey toward self-discovery. in order for admissions officers to recognize your personal values, you need to identify them for yourself. the course includes brainstorming & structuring exercises – you won't find anywhere else – to help you analyze your experiences, identity, and emotions . i will teach you to embrace vulnerability while practicing self-compassion ..

You believe problems should be solved with empathy.

This course is designed with empathy . it includes exercises and advice to boost your motivation , support your well-being , and foster a growth mindset. stop comparing yourself to others and focus on building your best application, there is a way to complete your college apps without the excess stress ., there is a way for the college application process to be easy and fun ., there is a way to submit your essays with confidence and pride ., you have what it takes to reach your goals. the admissions edge is your bridge to success., karla – usc california, "the writing tips paid off as i was able to get into a school i didn't expect to get into (usc) which increased my self-confidence.", "i loved this course i felt like my thoughts were scattered all over the place, with online advice scattered everywhere. but the ultimate guide to craft your story turned my college application process into something more than just a stressful situation. top-notch essay examples, essay structures, and space to begin creating were found all in one guidebook i am proud of the learning experience i got from all this. may positivity and inspiration forever exist", "it has allowed me to have fun and be creative during a time that is tend to be filled with stress over college applications. every lecture you gave was all super helpful and constructive . it was so worth it.", can't wait to see you on the inside.

The hype is real.

"reading other accepted applicants essays was a great way for me to gauge if i'm on the right track and am using the required level of language. watching the videos in combination with the essays made the whole process much more manageable.".

"I really loved the course because of how much it built my confidence and readiness for the essays."

"i initially felt unsure if i could write a standout essay to get into my reach school, because of how different the college essays were from what they teach us here in nigeria. but with the course i learned how to use anecdotes and i believe i created a fantastic starting. the course also helped me in structuring my essay and knowing which parts i should emphasize , which was very important to me.", oseremhen – vanderbilt university nigeria.

"I'm going to UCLA!!"

" honestly, i absolutely loved it this program was extremely helpful in helping me organize my college list and most definitely helped me figure out which values and qualities i wanted to highlight in my essays . it was also really colorful and aesthetically pleasing.", khushi – ucla jamaica.

I absolutely loved your course! I was so worried about the application process because I had no idea how to write a college essay, and then enrolled in your course and it helped so much and made organizing and brainstorming essays so easy . I loved your words of encouragement and humor throughout the course and it felt really personal . I am so grateful for your program and all your advice that helped me get into all 6 schools that I applied to!

I liked how relatable this course was , being able to see that Dyllen had the same writing struggles I had gave me more reassurance . This course provided many essay examples that were highlighted and broken down, it taught me how to effectively write a compelling story , or as Dyllen calls it “a window into our complex lives”. Also, I appreciate that she goes above and beyond to make taking this course as equitable as possible for more students through scholarships, YouTube videos, and free introductory sessions. I hope more school districts can provide this amazing course to build more confidence in students’ story writing abilities as it did for me.

A BIG thank you for creating this course. It has helped me become more comfortable with sitting myself down and learning more about myself. I feel more connected and in-tune with myself now that I have completed the admissions process. The "things I feel vulnerable about" part honestly brought me to tears. It’s helping me become more comfortable with facing things that I otherwise buried deep. VERY thorough instructions and doesn't feel like work when solving the workbook. Thank you Dyllen!

College applications are difficult, especially when you have no one to guide you through the process and lack exposure to information. But Dyllen's course against all odds helped me to create a tangible essay draft; not just one essay, but all of my college essays . Essays that spoke my mind and soul. Essays that I would never dare to write without her help. Dyllen, I am so grateful you are helping many disadvantaged and less fortunate high school students like me in many countries. Your work is a true masterpiece.

This course was a lifesaver during college apps. It was incredibly helpful in providing examples of successful essays from students who got into a lot of the schools I applied to. Every example was analyzed line by line which made it easier for me to view my own essay objectively while writing and editing (Dyllen is also a great editor)! Another helpful thing is the list of overused phrases . Hearing from someone who has read a ton of essays tell you what won't stand out was SO HELPFUL and I definitely caught myself trying to use some of those phrases. This course is helpful no matter what step of the essay writing process you're on and helped relieve a lot of stress for me!

Dyllen!!! I just want to say you have been BY FAR the MOST helpful resource I've gotten throughout this college process . Like you, I didn't come from a family with money to pay for a college counselor, and I've spent months and months researching on my own. I was at the tail end of submitting my applications when I discovered your course and it has helped me really dig into my values to create essays that speak to me . I am 100% recommending your course to my younger sister who has a few years before she starts this process. So much love for you girl <3

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As a low-income and international student , I struggled with all the application and essay writing process since day one. I was not used to talking about myself through words and I didn't know if my story was impactful, nor if it was worth sharing. But being a recipient of a scholarship to enroll in this course was extremely helpful. I learned to brainstorm, choose my topics strategically, construct my ideas, analyze the impact on me and others, and create an essay that portraits my voice. Dyllen was amazing by giving free resources and creating this course. I appreciate all the time invested in this huge project and hopefully, it will continue to grow to help other students as it helped me .

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College Essay Course

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How to Craft a Cohesive Application

The High Achiever’s Game Plan to Maximize Success & Eliminate Procrastination

3 Success Stories From Real Students

What If There’s No Happy Ending? All Your Questions ANSWERED.

How to Choose Your Best Topic

How to Define Your Essay’s Theme

Every Storytelling Component For a Stand-Out Essay

How to Create a Complete Outline For Your Essays (You can kiss writer’s block goodbye!)

Drafting Strategies to Best Optimize Your Time

How to Start and End Your Essay

How to Use a Metaphor to Make Your Essay Shine

Every Mistake & Overused Phrase I’ve Identified From Editing THOUSANDS of Essays

Actionable Strategies to Make Your Essay 10x Better

How to Cut Down Words

Common App vs UC PIQ Writing Strategy

How to Stop Sounding Like Everyone Else

Identifying Your Aspirations & Values That Connect With the School

How to Strategically Take Notes While Researching Colleges

And Transform Your Notes Into the Outline of Your “Why Us” Essay

(This is one of the trickiest essays to get right! Stop falling into clichés and learn how to STAND OUT!)

The Ultimate List of Common Supplemental Essay Prompts

The Supplemental Essay Master Doc (all your prompts color-coded & organized!)

Your achievements are super impressive, but are you explaining them in the best way? Level up your achievements – just by the way you communicate them!

Do’s & Don’ts

How to Order Your Activities List

Which Scholarships You Should (And Shouldn’t) Apply To

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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College Essay Bootcamp

Get a strong start on your college application with this series of sessions on the common app and supplemental essays. You’ll learn what makes a stellar essay and how to incorporate key traits that will capture an admissions committee’s attention and heart. Includes two 4.5-hour in-person sessions; two first-come, first-serve, remote sessions (Zoom calls) for individualized feedback; as well as independent writing time.

The College Essay Bootcamp focuses on the common app and supplemental essays, and not on admission to Stanford. Stanford does not have a preference for students who attend Stanford-specific summer programs and this opportunity is intended to provide general guidance around the college application process.

About College Essay Bootcamp

In-person session day 1 finding your voice and telling your story: common app main essay.

The main essay is one of the most important components of the college application. A stellar essay will help a student standout from amongst a pool of competitive applicants. Writing an outstanding essay, however, can be a daunting task. In this seminar, students will learn the answer to questions such as, what are colleges looking for? What do I write about? How creative should I be? 

In-Person Session Day 2 Making Every Word Count: Supplemental Essays & Activity List

In addition to the main essay, many colleges require their own school-specific prompts, also known as supplemental essays. Covering popular prompts including the “Why Us?” question and the elaboration of an extracurricular or job-related experience, this seminar will teach students how to best approach various supplemental essays and further illuminate who they are as a person and how they can contribute to a specific college.

The activity list section of the college application provides an applicant the opportunity to describe their passions, skills, and talents. In this portion of the seminar, students will learn strategies to best highlight their accomplishments and activities. Additionally, students will be equipped with the tools to create a strong resume. Although not required by every school, a good resume can aid students with teacher recommendations, college interviews, scholarship applications, and future job or internship opportunities.

It was really enjoyable and extremely helpful overall especially as someone who is applying to colleges the coming school year and is behind on essays!

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Grant Hansen graduated with a B.A. in Performance Theatre and Comprehensive Communications before moving to Beijing, China where he spent years working with students to develop their public speaking ability, coach them on writing and performance, and equip them for studies in the United States and Canada. He served as Foreign Teacher Liaison for two years at the number one high school in Beijing, Ren Da Fu Zhong, before spending a year at Renmin University designing courses in Advanced Public Speaking and Play Production. He engages with students so they can discover their unique stories and helps them communicate that story to others. 

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In addition to the two afternoon in-person sessions, students will need to spend at least a few hours on their own in order to maximize the personalized attention they’ll receive in the two remote sessions.

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How to Write the “Why this Major” College Essay + Examples

What’s covered:.

• What is the “Why This Major” Essay?
• Examples of “Why This Major?” Essay Prompts
• Tips for Writing the “Why This Major?” Essay
• “Why This Major?” Essay Examples

What to Do If You’re Undecided

The “Why This Major?” essay is a common prompt that nearly every college applicant will have to answer at least once. In this post, we’ll go over the purpose of this essay, examples of real prompts, sample responses, and expert tips for writing your own essay. If one of the colleges on your list asks you to respond to this prompt, you’ll be well-prepared after reading this post. 

What is the “Why This Major” Essay? 

In the college admissions process, you’ll need to submit two main types of essays: the personal statement and supplemental essays. The personal statement is your main application essay that goes to every school you apply to. The goal of this essay is to share more about who you are and your development. 

On the other hand, supplemental essays only go to specific schools, and each school requests their own essays. The goal of these essays is to showcase your fit with the school. Common prompts include “ Why This College? ”, “ Describe an Extracurricular ,” and “Why This Major?” 

The “Why This Major?” prompt in particular asks you, unsurprisingly, to explain your interest in your intended major. Colleges want to understand where you’re coming from academically, what your intellectual passions are, and what you plan to do professionally (at least roughly). If you aren’t 100% sure about what you want to study, that’s totally fine, but you do want to show that you’re an overall curious, engaged student.

It’s also meant to gauge your academic fit with the college, so you should be sure to cover school-specific resources related to your intended major that will help you achieve your goals. In other words, this prompt should actually be considered “Why This Major at This School?” 

Examples of “Why This Major?” Essay Prompts 

Before we dive in, let’s first take a look at some real-life examples of these prompts. 

For example, Yale requests that students write a 200-word supplemental essay based on the following prompt: 

Similarly, Purdue asks applicants to write 250 words in response to the below statement:

Carnegie Mellon , another top college, requires students to discuss the evolution of their proposed field of study, in 300 words or less: 

Finally, the University of Michigan asks students to craft a slightly longer essay, up to 500 words, about the qualities that attracted them to the college or school they’re applying to and how the curriculum will support their interests.

Tips for Writing the “Why This Major?” Essay 

Answering the “Why This Major?” prompt may seem like a difficult task. However, there are tips to help simplify the process and ensure your response addresses the question fully and effectively. Here are three steps for writing a standout essay about your major of choice: 

1. Share how your academic interest developed.  

The first step in crafting an effective “Why This Major?” essay is explaining your emotional resonance with the subject, and your background in it. While you might be tempted to write about your passion for the subject in flowery language, it’s better to share specific experiences that show how your interest developed. You should cover both the coursework that you’ve done in the field and any relevant extracurricular experiences. If you have space, you can also add in the specific subtopics that interest you within the major (i.e. analyzing gender relations or racism within the broader topic of sociology). 

You might also consider sharing a short anecdote related to your interest in the major. This strategy is especially effective at the beginning of the essay, as telling a story will both draw in the reader and provide context for your academic interest. For example, if you’re interested in studying English at Yale, you could start your essay by describing a childhood ritual in which you and your dad went to the library every Saturday.  

However, while anecdotes are crucial components of a college essay, students should choose what details to include with care. The most impactful essays tell a story, so you should refrain from listing all of your extracurricular activities that relate to your chosen major. This is not a resume! Instead, find ways of connecting your initial anecdote with your desire to pursue your major. For example, perhaps your early experiences at the library led you to get a job at a local bookstore and organize author readings for the community.

2. Detail your reasoning and goals.  

It’s not enough to express your passion for a particular subject. You also want to describe your goals and explain how majoring in your chosen field will help you achieve them. Perhaps your early experiences with authors inspired you to start a novel. You can further explain how majoring in English will enable you to study the great works of literature, thereby providing you with the background and foundation needed to find success as a writer.  

3. Explain your school choice.  

Finally, a “Why This Major?” essay should reveal how the college in question will help you achieve your goals. Your reasons should extend beyond “the college is highly ranked for this major,” as no matter how excellent the school’s reputation is, there are assuredly other colleges out there that are also strong in this department. Instead, dive into the curriculum, teaching methodology, specific classes, professors who are doing work in your area of interest, or other resources that can be found only at that school. 

For example, if you’re passionate about becoming a writer one day, take time to explain how Yale’s English program will set you on the road to success. Perhaps you’re interested in studying British greats through the famed Yale in London study abroad program. Or, maybe you plan on pursuing the Creative Writing Concentration as a senior to further refine your abilities to craft engaging narratives with compelling characters. 

You could also mention a desire to take a particular course, study with a certain professor, or work on the school newspaper. Just be careful not to “name-drop” professors⁠—only mention a specific faculty member if their work is highly relevant to your interests. Otherwise, your interest will look disingenuous.

“Why This Major?” Essay Examples 

To give you a better idea of what these essays should look like, below are a few example responses to the “Why This Major?” prompt.

One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.

Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate. 

This student does a great job of sharing how their interest in biomedical engineering developed. They begin the essay with an anecdote, which is more engaging and personal than simply stating “I want to study X major because…” and then smoothly take us into the present, and show how their understanding of the field has become more sophisticated over time. It’s also clear this student has done their research on how Duke specifically can help them achieve their goal of being an engineer and social advocate, as they’re able to name several relevant resources at Duke, such as DUhatch, The Foundry, and the Bass Connections program. 

I woke up. The curtains filtered the sun’s rays, hitting my face directly. I got up, looked from the bathroom to the kitchen, but my dad wasn’t there. I plopped on the couch, then the door opened. My dad walked in, clutching a brown paper bag with ninety-nine cent breakfast tacos. After eating, we drove to a customer’s house. He sat me in a chair, lifted the floorboard, and crawled under the house to fix the pipes. As he emerged, he talked, but my mind drifted to the weight of the eleven-millimeter hex wrench in my hand. My interest in mechanical engineering originates from my dad, who was a plumber. When I was fifteen, my dad passed away from cancer that constricted his throat. Holding his calloused hand on his deathbed, I wanted to prevent the suffering of others from cancer. Two years later, when I was given a topic of choice for my chemistry research paper, I stumbled upon an article about gold nanoparticles used for HIV treatment. I decided to steer the topic of gold nanoparticles used for cancer treatment instead, entering the field of nanotechnology. After reading numerous articles and watching college lectures on YouTube, I was utterly captivated by topics like using minuscule devices to induce hyperthermia as a safe method of cancer treatment. Nanotechnology is multi-disciplinary, reinforcing my interest in pursuing mechanical engineering as a gateway to participate in nanoscience and nanotechnology research at the University of Texas at Austin. I have learned that nanotechnology is not limited to stories like mine, but to other issues such as sustainable energy and water development that I hope to work towards. It is important for me to continue helping others without forfeiting my interest in nanotechnology, working in collaboration with both engineering and the medical field.

The narrative style of this essay engages readers and keeps us eager to know what’s going to happen next. In terms of content, the student does a great job of sharing personal and specific details about themselves, the roots of their academic interests, and their motivation to pursue them in college. While this essay is very strong overall, it is missing the “Why nanotechnology at UT Austin?” element of this kind of prompt, and would be even more successful if the student mentioned a particular professor at UT Austin doing research in their area of interest, or a lab dedicated to work in the field of nanotechnology.

I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, I’m reminded of Uncle Ben’s advice to a young Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility”. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AI’s far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education. 

The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. I’m particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight into why they occur. 

In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, I’ve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, I’m extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. I’d love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.

This essay has a great hook—it captures the reader’s attention and draws them into the story right away. Through this anecdote, the student shows their personality and interests, and then deftly transitions into talking about why Georgia Tech’s computer science program is the right match for them. The student explains how the College of Computing at Georgia Tech fits into their future by referencing “threads,” which are unique to the College of Computing’s curriculum and allow students to apply their CS coursework to particular areas. 

Just because you haven’t decided on a concentration doesn’t mean you’re out of luck when it comes to writing the “Why This Major?” essay. Ultimately, schools care less about knowing that you have your whole academic career planned out, and more about seeing that you are a genuinely curious, engaged student who does have intellectual passions, even if you’re still figuring out which one you want to pursue as a major. 

If you’re still undecided, you can opt to write about 1-3 potential majors (depending on the word count), while detailing how the school can help you choose one, as well as meet your broader academic goals. For best results, include personal anecdotes about a few academic subjects or courses that have inspired you, and share some potential career paths stemming from them. For more tips, see our post on how to write the “Why this major?” essay if you’re undecided . 

Where to Get Your “Why This Major?” Essay Edited 

Do you want feedback on your “Why This Major?” essay? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.  

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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