on self respect essay

Joan Didion on Self-Respect

By maria popova.

From her 1968 essay anthology Slouching Towards Bethlehem ( public library ) comes “On Self Respect” — a magnificent meditation on what it means to live well in one’s soul, touching on previously explored inadequate externalities like prestige , approval , and conventions of success .

Didion writes:

The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others — who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation, which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people with courage can do without. To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience of one to an interminable documentary that deals with one’s failings, both real and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening. There’s the glass you broke in anger, there’s the hurt on X’s face; watch now, this next scene, the night Y came back from Houston, see how you muff this one. To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night, beyond the reach of warm milk, the Phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting up the sins of commissions and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice, or carelessness. However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves. […] Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs. Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. […] Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen, for doing exactly that, but the psychological effect alone is incalculable: it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering Heights with one’s head in a Food Fair bag. There is a similar case for all the small disciplines, unimportant in themselves; imagine maintaining any kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower. […] To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out — since our self-image is untenable — their false notion of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. Of course I will play Francesca to your Paolo, Helen Keller to anyone’s Annie Sullivan; no expectation is too misplaced, no role too ludicrous. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meting the next demand made upon us. It is the phenomenon sometimes called ‘alienation from self.’ In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem is a superb read in its entirety. Also from it, Didion on keeping a notebook and not mistaking self-righteousness for morality .

— Published May 21, 2012 — https://www.themarginalian.org/2012/05/21/joan-didion-on-self-respect/ —

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Respect Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on respect.

Respect is a broad term. Experts interpret it in different ways. Generally speaking, it is a positive feeling or action expressed towards something. Furthermore, it could also refer to something held in high esteem or regard. Showing Respect is a sign of ethical behavior . Unfortunately, in the contemporary era, there has been undermining of the value of Respect. Most noteworthy, there are two essential aspects of Respect. These aspects are self-respect and respect for others.

Self-Respect

Self-Respect refers to loving oneself and behaving with honour and dignity. It reflects Respect for oneself. An individual who has Self-Respect would treat himself with honour. Furthermore, lacking Self-Respect is a matter of disgrace. An individual who does not respect himself, should certainly not expect Respect from others. This is because nobody likes to treat such an individual with Respect.

Self-Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship . In relationships, it is important to respect your partner. Similarly, it is equally important to Respect yourself. A Self-Respecting person accepts himself with his flaws. This changes the way how others perceive the individual. An individual, who honours himself, would prevent others from disrespecting him. This certainly increases the value of the individual in the eyes of their partner.

Lacking Self-Respect brings negative consequences. An individual who lacks Self-Respect is treated like a doormat by others. Furthermore, such an individual may engage in bad habits . Also, there is a serious lack of self-confidence in such a person. Such a person is likely to suffer verbal or mental abuse. The lifestyle of such an individual also becomes sloppy and untidy.

Self-Respect is a reflection of toughness and confidence. Self-Respect makes a person accept more responsibility. Furthermore, the character of such a person would be strong. Also, such a person always stands for his rights, values, and opinions.

Self-Respect improves the morality of the individual. Such an individual has a good ethical nature. Hence, Self-Respect makes you a better person.

Self-Respect eliminates the need to make comparisons. This means that individuals don’t need to make comparisons with others. Some people certainly compare themselves with others on various attributes. Most noteworthy, they do this to seek validation of others. Gaining Self-Respect ends all that.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Respect of Others

Everyone must Respect fellow human beings. This is an essential requirement of living in a society. We certainly owe a basic level of Respect to others. Furthermore, appropriate Respect must be shown to people who impact our lives. This includes our parents, relatives, teachers, friends, fellow workers, authority figures, etc.

One of the best ways of showing respect to others is listening. Listening to another person’s point of view is an excellent way of Respect. Most noteworthy, we must allow a person to express his views even if we disagree with them.

Another important aspect of respecting others is religious/political views. Religious and cultural beliefs of others should be given a lot of consideration. Respecting other people’s Religions is certainly a sign of showing mature Respect.

Everyone must Respect those who are in authority. Almost everyone deals with people in their lives that hold authority. So, a healthy amount of Respect should be given to such people. People of authority can be of various categories. These are boss, police officer, religious leader, teacher, etc.

In conclusion, Respect is a major aspect of human socialization. It is certainly a precious value that must be preserved. Respectful behaviour is vital for human survival.

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The Impact of Self-Respect on Your Life

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

RgStudio / Getty Images

According to the American Psychological Association, having self-respect means having a healthy regard for your character, values, and dignity. It is a measure of your self-worth .

Self-respect demands an appreciation of your identity as an individual, which in turn impacts your thoughts, values, emotions, commitments, and behaviors, says Judith Zackson , PhD, Founder and Clinical Director of Zackson Psychology Group.

This article explains the importance of respecting yourself and suggests some strategies to improve your sense of self-respect.

Benefits of Having Self-Respect

These are some of the benefits of having a healthy sense of self-respect, according to Dr. Zackson:

• Internal sense of happiness: People who respect themselves understand that they must first look inward to discover their worth, esteem, and happiness. As a result, their life is more stable and fulfilling than those who compare themselves to others or those who rely on external sources of validation.
• Commitment to upholding personal values: People with self-respect have a set of morals and values by which they evaluate their character and actions. They are often willing to bet all they have on upholding these norms of behavior, as their very worth and sense of self depend on it.
• Ability to establish boundaries: Self-respect requires people to have the fortitude to establish limits and fight for them when they are threatened. Respecting oneself enough to stand up for one’s beliefs and boundaries also helps command the respect of others.
• Strong sense of dignity: Respecting oneself means having a strong sense of dignity toward one’s person and position, and honoring it at all times.

Judith Zackson, PhD

Self-respect is the everyday discipline of loving who you are. It is the bedrock of developing self-acceptance and self-love. It's hard, if not impossible, to live a fulfilled, meaningful, and joyous life if you don't respect yourself first.

Potential Pitfalls of Having Low Self-Respect

Below, Dr. Zackson outlines some of the potential pitfalls of having low self-respect:

• Relying on external validation: Individuals with low self-respect allow others to define them, rather than defining themselves. They are more concerned with how others perceive them than what actually matters to them, and often lead fake lives as a result. They have a constant need for external validation and tend to be people pleasers .
• Living a life that lacks meaning: People who lack self-respect are unconcerned with their intrinsic values and the meaning of their lives. They are often impulsive, irresponsible, reliant on others, and self-destructive.
• Having a negative self-view: Those with limited self-respect are more vulnerable to having a negative view of themselves, which can cause them to engage in self-defeating behaviors such as negative self-talk .
• Developing unhealthy relationships: A balanced, wholesome view of oneself and a healthy dose of self-respect are important ingredients in healthy relationships. Without it, people have trouble standing up for themselves and maintaining their boundaries. The lack of self-respect often gets reinforced over time, and people find themselves stuck in unhealthy situations, such as abusive or manipulative relationships.

Influences on Self-Respect

Below, Dr. Zackson describes some of the factors that can influence one’s sense of self-respect in childhood and adulthood.

Childhood Influences

Self-respect, like any other lasting quality, largely develops in childhood. Children learn that it's all right for them to love themselves when their parent or caregiver loves and appreciates them for who they are.

Giving one’s full love and attention to a child is the foundation to help them value themselves. The knowledge that they do not have to do anything special to deserve love and respect will make them much less likely to place artificial limits on such feelings for themselves.

Parents who value themselves and are at peace with their sense of self are more likely to share these values with their children. It is not so much what parents do but rather who they already are that will shape a child's sense of worth. The importance of self-respect is fostered at a young age and lasts a lifetime.

Adult Influences

While childhood factors often play a far greater role in influencing one’s sense of self-respect, the influences in adulthood also matter. Factors like relationships, work, and life experiences can contribute to a person’s sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.

How to Improve Self-Respect

Dr. Zackson shares some strategies that can help you improve your sense of self-respect:

• Identify your values: Start by understanding yourself. Imagine suddenly losing everything you own and being left with nothing but yourself. Ask yourself: “What is important to me? What are my values? Why do I settle for less? What could remind me of my value?”
• Keep the focus on internal qualities: Be mindful that you may get caught up in thinking that your worth as a person is due to external factors like your net worth, position, looks, possessions, or the number of followers you have on social media. Self-respect however, is about internal qualities like your character, morals , values, and actions.
• Work on accepting yourself: Start to pay attention to your thought patterns without getting caught up in them. Concentrate on self-acceptance and let go of your harsh internal critic. Commit to forgiving yourself and accepting your flaws, bad habits, and all the things you don't like about yourself.
• Challenge negative thoughts: Pay attention to how your negative thought patterns affect your actions. Identify your triggers for negative thoughts and rationalize them. For instance, if a negative experience or lack of specific skills causes you to automatically call yourself unworthy, it can be helpful to recognize this thought process and challenge it: “Even if I’m not great at singing, I am still worthy of love and respect.”
• Don’t give in to self-doubt: Focus on loosening the grip of self-doubt. Nobody can make you feel unworthy of respect unless you permit them to do so. Develop a kinship with yourself and understand your strengths and values. Remind yourself that just as we have a moral obligation to respect others, we also have a moral obligation to respect ourselves.

Whenever you notice your inner critic starting to fire up, pause for a moment, challenge your thoughts as they whisper in your ear, and remind yourself that no matter what you do or don't do, you are nothing less than beautiful and worthy of self-respect.

Self-respect is an important part of your identity because it reflects how you view yourself, which in turn impacts every area of your life, including your relationships, work, and social life. Respecting and loving yourself is the first step toward gaining the love and respect of others.

If you have low self-respect, there are steps you can take to work on it and improve it. It may also be helpful to see a mental healthcare provider, who can help you identify your values, correct negative thought patterns, set firm boundaries, and learn to love yourself.

American Psychological Association. Self respect . Dictionary of Psychology .

Clucas C. Understanding self-respect and its relationship to self-esteem . Pers Soc Psychol Bull . 2020;46(6):839-855. doi:10.1177/0146167219879115

Dillon R. Self-respect and self-esteem . International Encyclopedia of Ethics . Doi: 10.1002/9781444367072.wbiee221.pub2

Corrigan PW, Bink AB, Schmidt A, Jones N, Rüsch N. What is the impact of self-stigma? Loss of self-respect and the "why try" effect . J Ment Health . 2016;25(1):10-15. doi:10.3109/09638237.2015.1021902

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Essay on Self Respect

Students are often asked to write an essay on Self Respect in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Self Respect

Understanding self respect.

Self-respect is the appreciation you have for yourself. It’s about recognizing your worth and not letting others demean you. It involves setting boundaries and standing up for your rights.

Importance of Self Respect

Self-respect is vital. It boosts your confidence and self-esteem. It helps you make decisions that are beneficial to you and prevents you from settling for less than you deserve.

Building Self Respect

Building self-respect requires self-love and self-acceptance. It’s about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and being okay with them. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

In conclusion, self-respect is a crucial aspect of personal development. It empowers you to live a fulfilling and respectful life.

Also check:

• Paragraph on Self Respect
• Speech on Self Respect

250 Words Essay on Self Respect

Introduction to self-respect.

Self-respect, a fundamental aspect of individual identity, is the recognition of one’s inherent worth and dignity. It is an essential virtue that acts as a bridge between self-awareness and self-expression, shaping our interactions with the world.

The Essence of Self-Respect

Self-respect is more than just self-esteem or self-love. It is an acknowledgement of one’s individuality, a refusal to be undervalued or diminished. It is about setting boundaries and not allowing others to treat us less than we deserve. Self-respect is not contingent on success or external validation, but is a self-sustained virtue.

Self-Respect and Interpersonal Relationships

In interpersonal relationships, self-respect plays a critical role. It dictates the quality of our relationships and the way we allow others to treat us. Individuals with high self-respect are less likely to tolerate disrespect or mistreatment, fostering healthier and more balanced relationships.

Self-Respect and Personal Growth

Self-respect is a catalyst for personal growth. It encourages us to strive for our goals, overcome challenges, and make decisions that align with our values. It fosters resilience, enabling us to bounce back from failures and setbacks.

In essence, self-respect is a cornerstone of a fulfilled and content life. It is not merely a state of mind but a way of living, a compass guiding us towards authenticity and integrity. Cultivating self-respect is a lifelong journey, but one that enriches our existence, empowering us to live with dignity and grace.

500 Words Essay on Self Respect

Introduction.

Self-respect, often overlooked, is a fundamental attribute that forms the bedrock of our personality and character. It is the inherent value we place on ourselves, shaping our interactions with the world and influencing our decisions. Self-respect is not about arrogance or narcissism, but rather a healthy appreciation of one’s worth.

Self-respect is an inner sense of worthiness and dignity. It is the recognition of our intrinsic value as human beings, independent of external validation. It involves acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, accepting our imperfections, and still valifying our worth. Self-respect is not contingent on success or failure; it is a consistent belief in oneself regardless of circumstances.

Self-respect plays a pivotal role in personal growth. It forms the basis for setting boundaries and asserting oneself. It encourages us to make choices that align with our values and aspirations, rather than succumbing to societal pressures. When we respect ourselves, we are more likely to pursue goals that truly matter to us, fostering self-fulfillment and happiness.

The Interplay of Self-Respect and Relationships

In the context of relationships, self-respect shapes the way we allow others to treat us. It acts as a filter, enabling us to discern between healthy and toxic relationships. When we respect ourselves, we naturally attract respect from others, fostering mutual respect and understanding in our relationships.

The Role of Self-Respect in Mental Health

Self-respect also has profound implications for mental health. It serves as a buffer against negative self-perception and self-deprecation, reducing the risk of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. By fostering self-compassion and resilience, self-respect can significantly enhance overall mental well-being.

Cultivating Self-Respect

Cultivating self-respect is a lifelong journey. It begins with self-awareness, understanding our values, and acknowledging our worth. It involves setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and pursuing personal growth. It requires us to challenge negative self-talk, replace it with positive affirmations, and celebrate our achievements, no matter how small.

In conclusion, self-respect is a powerful force that shapes our lives in profound ways. It influences our personal growth, our relationships, and our mental health. It is the cornerstone of a healthy self-image and a fulfilling life. As we navigate through the complexities of life, let us strive to cultivate self-respect, for it is not just a virtue, but a necessity.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Respect for Parents
• Essay on Respect for Elders
• Essay on Respect

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Respect — Importance Of Respect For Self

Importance of Respect for Self

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