essay about changing yourself

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13 days ago

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It is human nature to doubt ourselves from time to time. Imagine the situation when the five best universities in the United States are willing to have you as their student. This is one chance in a million, and you know this decision could define your entire life. Most likely, you will not randomly point your finger at one of them and say: “I will study here” (well, not immediately, at least). Instead you will conduct serious research, figuring out the advantages and drawbacks of being a student of each particular university; you will sketch out your future career perspectives as a graduate of each of these universities, and check a number of other parameters. And after intense doubts and worries, you would choose your favored institution.

This is the most reasonable approach. But in my case, I am sometimes prone to doubt even after I made a decision. Most likely, I would choose a university carefully, make a final decision, and then doubt the decision for a while, even though I would be already studying there. In real life, such a peculiarity manifests in more everyday situations. To stay at home or to hang out with friends? Whatever I choose, I will spend some time thinking about the opposite variant. To buy chocolate milk or beer? To go to the cinema or to the theater? To spend vacations in the mountains or at the sea? Not always, but more often that I would like, I start to reflect about trivial decisions.

Would I like to completely quit doubting? I think not. Doubts are a natural mechanism that helps us make the best possible decision in each particular case; without this ability, we would most likely make random, uninformed decisions regardless of their possible consequences. But at the same time, when the decision is made, you must start working to actualize it without hesitation, and this is the moment when doubts become troublesome. The more you think over a certain action of yours, the more likely you will delay the realization of what is on your mind.

Wise people teach us to be tolerant towards themselves, and accept both their negative and positive traits. I agree with this thesis, but with one small specification: this acceptance must not be an excuse for not working towards personal development and growth. This is my approach towards my proneness to doubtfulness: I can live with it, I know it is mine, but I am persistently working on getting rid of this quality.

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Your powerful, changeable mindset

BeWell spoke to Dr. Jacob Towery, adjunct clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry, about how shifting your mindset can improve your health, decrease stress and help you overcome life’s challenges.

You see life through your own unique lens. This is your mindset – the assumptions and expectations you hold about yourself, your life and the situations around you. Research shows that mindsets play a significant role in determining life’s outcomes. By understanding, adapting and shifting your mindset, you can improve your health, decrease your stress and become more resilient to life’s challenges.

To learn more about mindsets and how to change them, BeWell spoke to Dr. Jacob Towery, adjunct clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Stanford University.

Mindsets help you to simplify.

Mindsets are a set of assumptions that help you distill complex worldviews into digestible information and then set expectations based on this input. For example, you may believe that becoming sick with cancer would be catastrophic or that going on a diet would be challenging and depriving. These belief systems help you set expectations, plan for the worst and guide decisions based on these assumptions.

While mindsets can be helpful for distilling information and managing expectations, they can also be maladaptive, lead to interpersonal problems and feelings of guilt, inadequacy, sadness and anxiety. Dr. Towery observes that it is common to hold onto mindsets that were adaptive at one point in life but have since become maladaptive. For example, it might have been helpful to believe that others cannot be trusted if you were betrayed at a young age, but this belief may lead to interpersonal issues at a later stage of life. 

Dr. Towery assures, “the good news is mindsets are highly changeable, and if you are willing to learn the technology of changing your mindset and defeating your distorted thoughts, you can have significantly more happiness.”

Having a fixed or growth mindset affects your worldview. 

You may have heard of “fixed” and “growth” mindsets. These terms were coined by Stanford researcher and professor Carol Dweck, Ph.D.  to describe belief systems about your ability to change, grow and develop over time. If you believe your qualities are essentially unchangeable or “fixed,” you may be less open to mistakes because setbacks are seen as inherent, and impinging on future success. For example, if you have a fixed mindset and have trouble connecting with others at an event, you may see this as evidence that you will never be able to socially connect, leading to social anxiety and avoidance. 

With a growth mindset, you know that you can change over time, and therefore you are more open to reflect, learn and grow from challenges. Because failure is less threatening, you are more willing to embrace life’s challenges, take feedback as a learning opportunity and continue to learn and grow throughout life. With a growth mindset, you are also less likely to personalize setbacks. For example, in the scenario above, you might reflect that the cause of your social difficulty had more to do with the environment at the event than a personal inability to socialize.  

With a fixed mindset, it can be hard to find motivation to work through perceived weaknesses, because the ability to change may seem as hopeless as changing your eye color. In contrast, with a growth mindset, you’ll see your perceived weakness as a challenge that can be motivating — and even fun — to overcome.

As Dweck writes in “Mindset,” “…as you begin to understand the fixed and growth mindsets, you will see exactly how one thing leads to another — how a belief that your qualities are carved in stone leads to a host of thoughts and actions, and how a belief that your qualities can be cultivated leads to a host of different thoughts and actions, taking you down an entirely different road.”

Dr. Towery gives a personal example, “In my own life, I was dissatisfied with my singing abilities and decided to take singing lessons for nine months. While you won’t be hearing me on the radio any time soon, my singing is remarkably less terrible than it used to be before the lessons.” He describes that it was fun to learn that singing is a skill that can be cultivated rather than something innate and immutable.

Mindsets can impact your reality.

Mindsets can impact your outcomes by determining the way you think, feel and even physiologically respond to some situations. A 2007 study revealed that increased awareness of physical activity resulted in health benefits like weight loss and decreased blood pressure.   To further investigate this phenomenon, a 2011 study was conducted to test physiological satiation in relationship to mindset around certain foods. The study revealed that participants’ satiety aligned with their mindset around the food they were consuming more than the food’s nutritional content.  

Another example of how mindset affects physiology was shown in a 2012 study on the association between stress perception, health and mortality.  Kelly McGonigal references the study in her 2013 TED talk, explaining that participants who experienced high levels of stress had an increased risk of death, but only if  they believed stress to be harmful. Those who experienced high stress levels but did not see it as harmful were no more likely to die. McGonigal encourages developing more positive mindsets around stress, and to perceive your body’s physiological responses to stress – like a pounding heart and racing mind – as your body’s natural response to rise to the challenge and overcome it, as opposed to a signal that something is wrong.

Dr. Towery points out the impact of mindset on the effect of medications. “There is a powerful phenomenon in medicine known as the placebo effect, in which if someone believes they are going to derive benefits from taking a particular medication, they often do. In fact, regardless of the disease or condition, about 30-40% of people can have significant improvement in their symptoms even when taking a placebo (sugar) pill, if they believe that the pill is going to be helpful.” 

“Equally fascinating,” Towery observes, “is the ‘nocebo-effect,’ a psychological response based on a person’s expectations around side effects. When a physician emphasizes the potential side effects of a medicine, and the patient believes they will develop those symptoms, even if given a sugar pill, these patients can develop the adverse side effects, just based on what their mind expects.” 

Science is just beginning to validate the power of the mind-body relationship. Mindset matters, so it is important to pay attention to your belief systems—where they come from, how valid they are, and how they impact your quality of life.

You can change your mindset.

Although your mindset about topics like appearance and success are largely influenced by outside factors, the brain is neuroplastic, meaning neural networks can continue to grow, change and reorganize throughout the lifespan. By challenging yourself with new experiences and perspectives, you can form new neural connections — or mindsets — at any point in life.

Even a fixed mindset is not set in stone. You can change your mindset by learning and consciously choosing to believe that your characteristics are not predetermined and that you can continue to grow over time.

According to Towery, “The exciting news about mindsets is that they are absolutely changeable. The entire field of cognitive therapy is based on the idea that thoughts determine feelings and that you can learn powerful techniques to modify distorted thoughts and self-defeating beliefs.  For those that want to learn how, I recommend reading the book “Feeling Great” by David Burns, MD and doing all of the writing sections.  A competent cognitive therapist can also teach you how to change your mindset, even in a small number of sessions.”

Dr. Towery says that the most rewarding part of his work is helping people transform distorted beliefs like “I’m a failure” to more realistic thoughts like “I didn’t perform well, but I can better prepare next time and it will probably go much better.”

Towery encourages questioning self-defeating thoughts and creating new narratives that are more self-serving. If you develop a growth mindset, setbacks can become learning opportunities and there is always another chance to improve and feel better. 

• http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345472322/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0345472322&linkCode=as2&tag=farnamstreet-20&linkId=ZYKJHPHELN46AOWM
• https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/3196007/Langer_ExcersisePlaceboEffect.pdf?sequence=1%3FviewType=Print&viewClass=Print
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21574706/
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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

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First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 9, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Myself / Things I Would Like to Change About Myself

Things I Would Like to Change About Myself

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Pursuing personal growth, cultivating positive habits, embracing a mindset of growth.

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