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Making Real Friends on The Internet

• Categories: Digital Communication Friendship

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Published: Sep 5, 2023

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The pros of online friendships, the cons of online friendships, fostering healthy online friendships, the future of online friendships, conclusion: navigating the digital realm.

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How to Make Friends On the Internet

• Sulagna Misra

Some of the greatest friendships have started with a retweet.

The internet is deeply interwoven into our everyday lives. More and more people are using social media to share their work, explore the work of others, and even make meaningful friendships. Here are some dos and don’ts for (safely) making friends online:

• Do: Choose the platforms and communities that you care about. Don’t: Be everywhere.
• Do: Be kind and compassionate. Don’t be super honest (like in a mean way).
• Do: Connect with people you like. Don’t: Connect with everyone — especially the haters.
• Do: Build on connections that bring out your best. Don’t: Engage with people who bring out your worst.
• Do: Be open to making plans to hangout online or in-person. Don’t: Think that because this is someone you met online, the friendship isn’t important.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Have you ever made a friend online?

• SM Sulagna Misra is a freelance writer who has written for  Vanity Fair, Elle, GQ, Nylon, The Toast, New York Magazine,  and  many more publications . She has worked for companies such as GoFundMe and Netflix, among others. You can follow her on Twitter @sulagnamisra .

Partner Center

The value of online friendships and how they compare to 'real' friends

By Kellie Scott

• X (formerly Twitter)

There's a woman in Spain I've never met who has a lot of dirt on me — perhaps more than some of my "real" friends.

We met via Instagram two years ago after bonding over a hashtag and have been chatting ever since.

While I couldn't have predicted my inappropriate and mostly unfunny use of emojis would bring me close to a perfect stranger thousands of kilometres away, it's not an unusual relationship in 2019.

Most of us have online connections of some kind, and increasingly many that are exclusively virtual.

Are we placing too much value and trust in people we've never seen in the flesh? Or is a good mate online as valuable as those IRL?

Content — a new ABC vertical video series — explores this with its lead character Lucy Goosey, who experiences some of the tensions between online and offline friendships while chasing influencer fame.

I spoke to a couple of experts and someone in the same boat as me to get their take.

Why we love our online mates

Oversharing with my Instagram friend instead of friends IRL wasn't planned — it just kind of happened.

Lucy Good from the Sunshine Coast credits that to the availability of online mates.

The 44-year-old runs a Facebook page designed to support single mums, with 16,000 followers. To help run the page she recruited 14 women to help with the page admin.

Despite having never met them, Lucy's grown quite close to the group she calls her "admin sisters".

"We all want to support single mums which makes us quite similar," she says.

"And whereas we don't allow venting or man bashing in the group, when it comes to our little group, we're the first people we go to with our problems."

She says her internet friends are nearly always reachable.

"You have them there at your fingertips all the time," she says. "But it's also OK to leave the conversation and pick it up again when you're ready."

She describes the friendships as "very special" and lower maintenance than friends you need to physically see — it's all part of the appeal.

"You can just send a message out, if they are there, great. If not, it's fine. It's easier to maintain," she says.

"The only thing we miss is the contact, the intimacy of touch and cuddles, but we can make up for that by sending love heart emojis!"

Psychologist Leanne Hall says an element of anonymity online can make it easier to share parts of yourself you might otherwise find difficult.

"It means people can often open up a bit more," she says.

And there are many more connection options to find when using the internet.

Lucy says making friends online has taught her how to "connect differently and with different people".

"You are connecting to people you would perhaps not usually meet in real life … and that can be quite life-changing."

What's missing with online friendships?

Love heart emojis might make up for a lack of affection in Lucy's book, but what about all that other stuff physical connection brings?

Ms Hall says "in real life" you know a friend on a more emotional and connected level.

"You have the benefit of seeing body language and facial expression. A lot of how we communicate is non-verbal," she says.

Julie Fitness, professor of psychology at Macquarie University, agrees those lacking cues can make the friendship less rich. She adds you're relying on the person to "curate" an accurate representation of themselves.

"There are a lot of cues you can't share [online] like tone of voice, observing you interacting with your parents and other friends," Professor Fitness says.

"If it's exclusively online … you are curating the information you are communicating.

"You have an opportunity to put out your best self or only communicate things you are comfortable with."

How to make your online relationships meaningful

Be vulnerable, but careful

To help avoid only showing your best self, which can lead to a "shallow" connection, Ms Hall recommends being as open and honest as possible.

Don't just show the "highlight reel", she says.

"If you want a deeper connection online, it has to be a vulnerable connection, you need to be honest and embrace the fact that life is not perfect, and encourage the other person to do the same thing," Ms Hall says.

But make sure you trust who you're engaging before you get deep and meaningful.

"It might make sense to be more revealing and vulnerable [to build those online friendships], but you have to be so careful about who you're doing that with," Professor Fitness says.

"You can experiment with making yourself a bit vulnerable, and if there is disclosure in return and warmth and empathy, then the friendship may develop.

"Trust is a huge factor in online relationships because people can be deceived online ."

Choose people you share a common interest with

Finding friends online through an interest group will help set you up for success, explains Professor Fitness.

"You're more likely to meet someone as it's about sharing values and fun.

"This is why those online support groups can be really supportive [for example] because you know that people are understanding of your situation and they're warm and sympathetic to you."

And make sure they're as into the friendship as you are — there needs to be mutual interest and effort.

"A friendship you put as a seven out of 10 on your scale of closeness might be a nine out of 10 in the eyes of the person you are communicating with," Professor Fitness says.

Assess your needs and capacity to invest

Lucy says a real trap is biting off more than you can chew and consequently feeling drained or letting people down.

"There are many people who are isolated and wanting to connect, and if they see you are happy to be their friend they will jump at the chance," she says.

"Don't give them hope if you can't give them the time they deserve."

Professor Fitness says being on the same page about expectations and setting boundaries can help with this.

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Face-to-face connections still important

Ms Hall believes you can live without online friends, but you shouldn't live without those you can spend physical time with.

"The benefit of online comes in when they are in addition to real-life friendships, not instead of," Ms Hall says.

But research shows for people who are isolated , such as those living in regional areas or some older Australians, online connections can be a lifeline.

"The internet is really useful for keeping in touch with family and grandchildren," Professor Fitness says.

To be "really functional" though, you need both.

"You need the face-to-face friends, as well as the wider social networks," Professor Fitness says.

"When looking for a partner, for example, that's a really optimal time to have a rich and broad social network."

Lucy says it's important to support your online friends in the same way would any friend.

"Laugh and cry with them — you can still do that online. In that respect it's the same as a normal friendship."

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Regions & Countries

Teens, technology and friendships, video games, social media and mobile phones play an integral role in how teens meet and interact with friends.

This report explores the new contours of friendship in the digital age. It covers the results of a national survey of teens ages 13 to 17; throughout the report, the word “teens” refers to those in that age bracket, unless otherwise specified. The survey was conducted online from Sept. 25 through Oct. 9, 2014, and Feb. 10 through March 16, 2015, and 16 online and in-person focus groups with teens were conducted in April 2014 and November 2014.

For today’s teens, friendships can start digitally: 57% of teens have met a new friend online. Social media and online gameplay are the most common digital venues for meeting friends

• Boys are more likely than girls to make online friends: 61% of boys compared to 52% of girls have done so.
• Older teens are also more likely than younger teens to make online friends. Some 60% of teens ages 15 to 17 have met a friend online, compared with 51% of 13- to 14-year-olds.

The most common spots for meeting friends online are social media sites like Facebook or Instagram (64% of teens who have made a friend online met someone via social media), followed by playing networked video games (36%). Girls who have met new friends online are more likely to meet them via social media (78% vs. 52% of boys), while boys are substantially more likely to meet new friends while playing games online (57% vs. 13% of girls).

Text messaging is a key component of day-to-day friend interactions: 55% of teens spend time every day texting with friends

The vast majority of teens (95%) spend time with their friends outside of school, in person, at least occasionally. But for most teens, this is not an everyday occurrence. Just 25% of teens spend time with friends in person (outside of school) on a daily basis.

• Instant messaging: 79% of all teens instant message their friends; 27% do so daily.
• Social media: 72% of all teens spend time with friends via social media; 23% do so daily.
• Email: 64% of all teens use email with friends; 6% do so daily.
• Video chat : 59% of all teens video chat with their friends; 7% video chat with friends daily.
• Video games: 52% of all teens spend time with friends playing video games; 13% play with friends daily.
• Messaging apps: 42% of all teens spend time with friends on messaging apps such as Kik and WhatsApp; 14% do so every day.

Video games play a critical role in the development and maintenance of boys’ friendships

Overall, 72% of teens ages 13 to 17 play video games on a computer, game console or portable device. Fully 84% of boys play video games, significantly higher than the 59% of girls who play games. Playing video games is not necessarily a solitary activity; teens frequently play video games with others. Teen gamers play games with others in person (83%) and online (75%), and they play games with friends they know in person (89%) and friends they know only online (54%). They also play online with others who are not friends (52%). With so much game-playing with other people, video gameplay, particularly over online networks, is an important activity through which boys form and maintain friendships with others:

• 38% of all teen boys share their gaming handle as one of the first three pieces of information exchanged when they meet someone they would like to be friends with; just 7% of girls share a gaming handle when meeting new friends.
• Of teens who have met a friend online, 57% of boys have made a friend playing video games. That amounts to 34% of all teenage boys ages 13 to 17.

• 16% of boy gamers play in person with friends on a daily or near-daily basis, and an additional 35% do so weekly. That amounts to 42% of all teen boys ages 13 to 17.
• 34% of boy gamers play over the internet with friends on a daily or near-daily basis, and another 33% do so weekly. That amounts to 55% of all teen boys ages 13 to 17.

When playing games with others online, many teen gamers (especially boys) connect with their fellow players via voice connections in order to engage in collaboration, conversation and trash-talking. Among boys who play games with others online, fully 71% use voice connections to engage with other players (this compares with just 28% of girls who play in networked environments).

• 78% of teen online gamers say when they play games online it makes them feel more connected to friends they already know. That amounts to 42% of all teens ages 13 to 17.
• 52% of online-gaming teens feel more connected to other gamers (whom they do not consider friends) they play with online. That amounts to 28% of all teens ages 13 to 17.
• 84% of networked-gaming boys feel more connected to friends when they play online, compared with 62% of girls.
• 56% of boy gamers feel more connected to people they play networked games with who are not friends, as do 43% of gaming girls.

Teen friendships are strengthened and challenged within social media environments

Social media also plays a critical role in introducing teens to new friends and connecting them to their existing friend networks. Some 76% of teens ages 13 to 17 use social media and:

• 64% of teens who have met at least one new friend online report meeting a friend through social media.
• 62% of teens share their social media username as one of the first pieces of information they share as a way to stay in touch when they meet a brand new friend.
• 72% of all teens say they spend time with friends on social media; 23% say they do so every day.

• 83% of teen social media users say social media makes them feel more connected to information about their friends’ lives.
• 70% of social media-using teens feel better connected to their friends’ feelings through social media.
• 68% of teen social media users have had people on the platforms supporting them through tough or challenging times.

But even as social media connects teens to friends’ feelings and experiences, the sharing that occurs on these platforms can have negative consequences. Sharing can veer into oversharing. Teens can learn about events and activities to which they weren’t invited, and the highly curated lives of teens’ social media connections can lead them to make negative comparisons with their own lives:

• 88% of teen social media users believe people share too much information about themselves on social media.
• 53% of social media-using teens have seen people posting to social media about events to which they were not invited.
• 42% of social media-using teens have had someone post things on social media about them that they cannot change or control.
• 21% of teen social media users report feeling worse about their own life because of what they see from other friends on social media.

• 40% of teen social media users report feeling pressure to post only content that makes them look good to others.
• 39% of teens on social media say they feel pressure to post content that will be popular and get lots of comments or likes.

Some conflict teens experience is instigated online

• 68% of teen social media users (52% of all teens) have experienced drama among their friends on social media.
• 26% of all teens have had a conflict with a friend over something that happened online or over text messages.

Girls are more likely to unfriend, unfollow and block former friends

• 58% of teens who use social media or cellphones have unfriended or unfollowed someone they used to be friends with, and 45% of teens have blocked an ex-friend.
• 63% of girls who use social media or cellphones have unfriended or unfollowed an ex-friend, compared with 53% of boys.

53% of social media- or cellphone-using girls have blocked someone after ending a friendship, compared with 37% of boys.

Teens spend time with their closest friends in a range of venues. Texting plays a crucial role in helping close friends stay in touch

Along with examining the general ways in which teens interact and communicate with their friends, this report documents how and where teens interact with the friends who are closest to them. These “close friend” relationships loom large in the day-to-day social activities of teens’ lives, as 59% of teens are in touch with their closest friend on a daily basis (with 41% indicating that they get in touch “many times a day”).

School is the primary place teens interact with their closest friends. However, these best-friend interactions occur across a wide range of online and offline venues:

• 83% of teens spend time with their closest friend at school.
• 58% spend time with their closest friend at someone’s house.
• 55% spend time with their closest friend online (such as on social media sites or gaming sites or servers).

• 49% of teens say text messaging (including on messaging apps) is their first choice of platform for communicating with their closest friend.
• 20% say social media is their first-choice communication tool when talking with their closest friend.
• 13% say phone calls are the method they would choose first to talk with their closest friend.
• 6% say video games are their first-choice platform for talking with their closest friend.

Teens who live in lower-income households are more likely than higher-income teens to say they use social media to get in touch with their closest friend. Lower-income teens, from households earning less than $30,000 annually, are nearly evenly split in how they get in touch with these friends, with 33% saying social media is the most common way they do so and 35% saying texting is their preferred communication method. Higher-income teens from families earning $30,000 or more per year are most likely to report texting as their preferred mode when communicating with their closest friend. Modestly lower levels of smartphone and basic phone use among lower-income teens may be driving some in this group to connect with their friends using platforms or methods accessible on desktop computers.

Smartphone users have different practices for communicating with close friends

Nearly three-quarters (73%) of teens have access to a smartphone, and smartphone-using teens have different practices for communicating with close friends. Teens with smartphones rely more heavily on texting, while teens without smartphones are more likely to say social media and phone calls are preferred modes for reaching their closest friend.

• 58% of teens with smartphone access prefer texting when communicating with their closest friend, while just 25% of teens without smartphone access say the same.
• 29% of teens without smartphone access say social media is the most common way they get in touch with a close friend; 17% of smartphone users say the same.
• 21% of teens without smartphones say they make phone calls to their closest friend as a primary mode of communication, compared with 10% of smartphone users.

Girls are more likely to use text messaging – while boys are more likely to use video games – as conduits for conversations with friends

• 62% of girls spend time with friends every day via text messaging, compared with 48% of boys.
• 32% of girls spend time with friends every day using instant messaging, compared with 23% of boys.

On the other hand, boys are much more likely than girls to interact and spend time with friends while playing video games:

• 74% of teen boys talk with friends while playing video games together, while 31% of girls report the same.
• 22% of boys talk daily with friends while playing video games, compared with just 3% of girls.

Phone calls are less common early in a friendship, but are an important way that teens talk with their closest friends

Some 85% of teens say they spend time with friends by calling them on the phone, and 19% do so every day. The perceived intimacy of the phone call as a communication choice means teens are less likely to use it immediately upon meeting a new friend, but they often prefer it when talking to close friends.

• About half of teens (52%) indicate that a phone number for calling is one of the first three things they would share with a new friend, but just 9% indicate that this is the first thing they would share.
• And when teens want to talk to their closest friend, phone calls are the second most popular method overall, with 69% of teens citing phone calls as one of their three choices.

84% of black teens say phone calls are one of the three most common methods they use to get in touch with close friends, compared with 69% of whites and 63% of Hispanic teens.

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Student Opinion

15 Prompts for Talking and Writing About Friendship

Questions to help students reflect on the meaning of friendship in their lives

By Natalie Proulx

Who are your closest friends? How much do you share with them? Do you actually like your friends? What have you learned from them?

Below, we’ve rounded up 15 questions we’ve asked students over the years all about friendship. You can use them as prompts for writing or discussion, inside the classroom or out. We hope they’ll inspire you to reflect on your friendships, consider how you can strengthen the ones you have, and motivate you to reach out and make new ones.

Each prompt includes an excerpt from a related New York Times article, essay or photo; a link to the related piece; and several questions to help you think deeply about it. Many of these questions are still open for comment from students 13 or older.

You can find even more ideas for teaching and learning about friendship in our related lesson plan: How Students Can Cultivate Meaningful Friendships Using The New York Times .

1. Who Are Your Friends?

Do you have a “best friend,” a few close friends or a large group of friends? What interests, experiences, passions and circumstances forge those relationships? What are some of your favorite memories or admirable characteristics you associate with your friends?

Use this Picture Prompt to talk or write about your most important friendships.

2. How Alike Are You and Your Friends?

Did you know there is science behind how we choose our friends? Research has shown that we tend to befriend people who are much like us in a wide array of characteristics, including age, race, religion, even our handgrip strength.

In this prompt , you’ll read more about the things that bond us, and then share what you and your friends have in common.

3. Do You Have Any Unlikely Friendships?

Though we tend to connect with people who are like us, sometimes friendship happens with someone we’d least expect. That was the case for Spencer Sleyon, a 22-year-old rapper and producer from East Harlem, and Rosalind Guttman, an 81-year-old woman living in a retirement community in Florida, who met playing the Words With Friends game.

Do you have any surprising friendships like this one?

4. How Much Do You Share With Your Friends?

Do you often express your innermost thoughts, feelings and struggles to those closest to you? Or do you tend to keep those things to yourself? Being vulnerable can be scary, but research shows it’s important for building connections with others.

Use this prompt to reflect on what it feels like to open up to your friends, and how you might try to do more of it.

5. Do You Have Satisfying Friendships?

Are internet friendships as fulfilling as in-person ones? In a guest essay, a writer argues that “The kind of presence required for deep friendship does not seem cultivated in many online interactions. Presence in friendship requires ‘being with’ and ‘doing for.’”

Do you agree? Can online “friends” be true friends? Share your opinion.

6. Do You Have Any Close Friends?

Do you prefer to have many casual friends or just a few close ones? What makes a person a “best” friend? Do you wish you had more close friendships? This prompt explores these questions and more, as well as shares expert advice for developing deeper friendships.

7. How Do You React When Your Friendships Change?

Have you ever become less close to a friend over time? Have you ever felt jealousy when your friend joined another friend group? Have you ever had a friendship just fizzle out? These kinds of changes happen all the time, but they can be difficult to navigate.

Tell us what you do when you feel a friendship start to shift.

8. Do Social Media and Smartphones Make Your Friendships Stronger?

Does being able to stay constantly in touch with your friends via social media, texting and location sharing strengthen your friendships and make them easier to maintain? Or does it do the opposite? Weigh in with your experiences on this prompt .

9. Do You Like Your Friends?

It may sound like a strange question, but a 2016 study found that only about half of perceived friendships are mutual. That means you might not even like someone who thinks of you as a best friend. And vice versa.

Is this is true for any of your relationships?

10. How Often Do You Text Your Friends Just to Say ‘Hi’?

When was the last time you texted, called, emailed or messaged a friend just to say “hello”? Research suggests casual check-ins might mean more than we realize. Do you underestimate how much your friends would like hearing from you?

Read what experts have to say and then share your thoughts.

11. Is It Harder for Men and Boys to Make and Keep Friends?

American men appear to be stuck in a “friendship recession,” according to a recent survey. Less than half of men said they were truly satisfied with the number of friendships they had. The same study also found that men are less likely than women to seek emotional support from or share personal feelings with their friends.

Does this reflect your experience? Weigh in.

12. Do You Have Any Intergenerational Friendships?

“When applying to my job, I had no idea of the friendships I would be making with 70+ year old women. They teach me new things every day while I hear their life stories and things they have done,” Laura from Ellisville wrote in response to this prompt.

Do you have any friends who are significantly younger or older than you? What do you think we can gain from these kinds of intergenerational friendships? Tell us here.

13. Have You Ever Been Left Out?

Imagine it’s a Saturday. All your friends told you they were busy, so you’re sitting at home, alone, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. But then you see a post that stops you in your tracks. It’s a picture of all of your friends hanging out together — without you. This is what happened to Hallie Reed in her first semester at college.

Has something like this ever happened to you? Use this prompt to talk or write about how it felt.

14. What Have Your Friends Taught You About Life?

“My friends taught me different perspectives on life.” “My friends have taught me to not care what other people think.” “My friends have taught me to be myself.”

These are just a few of the responses teenagers had to this prompt. What have your friends taught you?

15. Have You Ever Had a Significant Friendship End?

Few relationships are meant to last forever. In a guest essay, Lauren Mechling writes that “even bonds founded on that rare, deeply felt psychic connection between two people” are “bound to fray.”

Have you experienced this with someone with whom you were once very close? What happened? Share your story.

Students 13 and older in the United States and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public and may appear in print.

Find more Student Opinion questions here. Teachers, check out this guide to learn how you can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.

Natalie Proulx joined The Learning Network as a staff editor in 2017 after working as an English language arts teacher and curriculum writer. More about Natalie Proulx

Know the benefits of Online friendships

Online friendships can provide equal love and support as real-life friendships. Building online friendships is not intimidating if we tread safely says Dalilah Anna

The internet has opened up countless possibilities to our society, including building friendships online. Social media and smartphone apps have made it easy to meet new people and stay in touch with our loved ones. 

The pandemic is a rough time for everyone globally. Many people are suffering from loneliness issues, particularly the elderly, young people and those who are suffering from chronic conditions. Those who have been isolated are missing in emotional support and human interaction. Due to restricted social interactions, meeting new people and making friends have become more challenging during the pandemic. 

During these stressful times, it is still possible to reach out and connect with others via virtual events and online communities. Making friends online can be rewarding as you can expand your social circle.

There are numerous benefits of building online friendships. Here is the list of benefits:

Meet People With Similar Interests .

Simple as it seems, having a mutual hobby is the best icebreaker towards starting a new friendship. The secret to striking an interesting conversation is to talk about the things you have in common with each other. That way, the discussion will never go boring, and you won’t run out of topics to say. 

Moreover, it is crucial to have a robust support system that shares the same passion for motivating you to achieve your goals. For instance, your hobby includes preparing healthy meals and staying fit. Surrounding yourself with people who have the same interests will motivate you greatly to achieve your goals.

Online Friendships Are Great For Introverts .

Making friends online is a good start for those who feel uncomfortable or shy in approaching a group of people. Sending chat messages allows users to communicate passively without feeling the pressure of real-life daily conversations. Hence, they don’t have to worry about being tongue-tied and stuck in awkward conversations. This makes online friendships highly beneficial to introverts as it helps to boost their confidence in communicating with new people. 

How I rediscovered reading books during the lockdown

Share feelings and thoughts without judgements ..

Striking up conversations is easier virtually compared to talking to strangers face-to-face. In virtual communities, people are more open to sharing their emotional and personal struggles. Psychologist Leanne Hall says this is because there is anonymity surrounding online presence, which enables people to feel more comfortable sharing their problems with others with similar issues. By opening up more to others, people will slowly build trust and feel less awkward with each other. Author of Unlonely Planet, Jillian Richardson discussed in her article the importance of allowing vulnerability to cultivate deeper friendships. Being vulnerable will enable people to connect on a deeper emotional level.

Make Friends Throughout the World .

Living in different parts of the world can be a huge disadvantage to some people. After all, it is impossible to meet and hang out physically. However, this issue is no longer a barrier with the evolving social media. 

It is a good learning experience as you learn different cultures directly from the locals themselves. If you get a chance to travel to their countries, you will gain a rewarding experience by visiting the historical places and trying out the local cuisines. In addition, you will get to learn a new foreign language through virtual international friends. Having virtual international friends is the best chance to acquire a new language because it allows you to practice in a more relaxed environment compared to learning in schools.

Online friendships can provide equal love and support as real-life friendships. Building online friendships does not have to be intimidating if we practice staying safe online at all times. It is vital to stay away from the stigma surrounding online friendships so that we can build meaningful friendships with people from all around the world.

Dalilah Anna is a freelance writer who is actively involved in community work helping the disabled and underprivileged communities. She is also passionate about tackling climate change issues and spreading awareness in ecological sustainability.

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Online Friends Vs. Real Life Friends: A Comparison

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What makes a true friendship anymore? Is it whether or not the person knows your birthday, or how many hours you spend talking on the phone or hanging out in person? With all the ways we can communicate now — Skype, ICQ, AIM, Gchat, Facebook Messenger, Grindr, etc. — and with all the people on our buddy lists, who are we really friends with? Is it possible to have friends who are purely for the Internet and others you interact with in real life? What’s the difference?

Keeping You Company

Online Friends: Online friends are people you don’t really really know but you met them once at a conference, on a social networking site, on Twitter, or maybe you added them to your Facebook because they’re friends with someone you know. Plus they’re hot, and you do enjoy collecting Facebook friends based on their hotness. An online friend is someone you know is available every time you see that little green dot next to their name, so you write them and say hello. But sometimes it’s possible to have an online best friend who you’ve never met before in real life, but who keeps you company when you’re writing a long paper or bored at work. You talk to each other at least every other day. You even have inside jokes and think about going out to visit them wherever they live, you know, to take things to the next step.

Real Life Friends: Real life friends keep you company when they can, when they’re not busy with something else or watching a favorite television show. An online friend is available whenever they have that promiscuous little green dot beside their name, but your real life friends have things to do and you don’t always know what they’re doing or when they’re busy. You can make plans with your real life friends for tea or brunch, and you can compliment them on their new haircut. Even if you talk to your real life friend online, you KNOW they’re a real friend when they are ‘invisible’ and they will still talk to you.

Gossip And Life Problems

Online Friends: Online friends know all about your relationship drama and boy/girl crushes, because you’ve been asking them for advice for months. Hey there, Google Talk friend, Should I try to kiss him tonight? OMG what do you think? You feel comfortable talking to your online friends about all of your life issues because as far as they know your name is really “Katie Smith,” even though it’s not, and you could be making up all of your social problems. Plus, you’ve already bugged your real life friends about this stuff to death. Now you have a whole new outlet!

Real Life Friends: Your real life friends know you the best and are not afraid to tell you about yourself. Sure, your online friends can offer an opinion, even a decisive one, but there is nobody like a real life friend to tell you when you need to get it together. A real life friend says things like, Don’t you already have a girlfriend? Should you really be talking to this other girl, no matter how hot she is? A real life friend will make you feel good even when you’re feeling depressed about the job market or going through a difficult period in your life. An online friend can console you, but just doesn’t have the same context.

Sexual Tension

Online Friends: Depending on the context in which you met said online friend, there might still be some unresolved sexual tension between you two that has to be dealt with. Maybe you’ve made some sexual innuendos to each other. But even if you haven’t had those kind of late night chats, if you ever do take your friendship into real life you do run the risk of having unreleased sexual tension. You feel like you should just have sex already, you know, just to get it over with. After all, you’re not really strangers so it’s not really a hook up — you’ve been friends online for like six months now. Consider it a physical Hello!

Real Life Friends: Do we really want to have sex with our real life friends? Maybe the friendship started romantically but ended up becoming sexual, or maybe our friendships started sexual and got platonic somewhere along the way. Not that there’s never sexual energy between real life friends, but it seems like sexual energy between online friends you’ve never met before is implied. Or maybe I’m just a slut.

Online Friends: With online friends you can do things like play Words With Friends or watch your favorite television show together, chatting about everything that annoys you about the show. That’s the fun part — I almost never watch TV alone now. If I’m watching a big show that everyone is talking about, like Scandal , RuPaul’s Drag Race or Homeland , I’m definitely chatting to my online friends while it’s on. Not that I don’t do that with my real life friends, too. Plus, with online friends you always have a new place to visit — sexual tension or not.

Madison Moore

Author of How To Be A Pop Star .

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About Neil Petersen

It sure caught my attention when you said that online friendship is good for the health of the person because it gives the person an opportunity to make friends and receive support that they find hard having in real life. If that is true, then I guess there really is no reason for me to stop my sister from trying this online friendship thing. She finds it hard to make friends in real life, and if this will help her, then she should go for it. Thank you for sharing.

Are Online And Real Life Friendships The Same? How The Internet Makes A Difference

The internet has been a part of mainstream culture for well over two decades now, and yet there is still a stigma towards online friends. With today’s technology, you can video chat with your friends with ease, talk to them from wherever you are, and have a digital bond that lasts. However, if your friend lives somewhere that you can’t travel to, you may wonder if that friend is as legitimate as a friend who lives nearby. The answer is yes. In this article, we’ll explain why.

Pros of having an online friend

Nowhere in the definition of the word “friend” does it indicate you must communicate in person. Online friendships are a wonderful part of many people’s lives. You can bond with someone from behind another screen, and sometimes the bond goes deeper than it does for your in-person friends – for several reasons.

Mutual interests

Forums make it easier to meet friends who share a common interest. Be it a political group, a blog dedicated to a certain fandom, a specific hobby, or many other commonalities, having a mutual interest is a great icebreaker. While you don't have to have everything in common with a friend, having shared interests is one way to spark a conversation.

Easier to break the ice

Perhaps the best thing about online communication is how easy it is to strike up a conversation. If you're introverted, shy, or just don't like talking to strangers, it's often hard to make that first move. On the internet, however, it's easier for most to make that first comment or send that first message. You can take time to write out exactly what you want to say. 

You can get to know them faster

Most people online are more comfortable with talking about themselves. They'll talk about their flaws, their mental illnesses, what they fear, and so on. In real life, it's hard to talk about some things without feeling like you're going to be laughed at. Due to the ease of online communication, you can often learn more about someone much faster than you can in real life.

You can make friends around the globe

Making friends with someone from a different part of the world can be a fun experience. You can find out more about their culture, and they can learn from you. Best of all, if you do get a chance to visit where they live, you may have a place to stay and someone to show you around. They might even be able to chip in for a plane ticket. For the traveler, having friends across the globe can be a good thing.

There are multiple ways to communicate

Communication doesn't have to be text-based. You can have video chats through your computer or phone. You two can walk around the town, talking to each other. It isn't a perfect replication of actually being there together, but it can be unique and fun. 

Cons of having an online friend

With that said, online friends have their disadvantages as well.

Hanging out is hard

Even if your online friend lives just a few hours from you, you're probably not going to visit them that often. You two have separate lives and arranging a meeting can be difficult – and costly. 

Miscommunication

Some forms of digital communication – like texting – can be misconstrued because body language and tone of voice are absent. You can use emojis, but they're not always helpful. Taking offense to a benign message is common. It can also be harder to get the hint that someone doesn't want to talk to you. Be patient and remember that miscommunications will happen. 

Harder to make up

If you're going to be friends with someone for a long time, you're probably going to get into disagreements at some point. With in-person friendships, you may get mad at each other for a while but then makeup – especially if the two of you have mutual friends. Sometimes, making up is the best option to keep the friend circle going.

With an online friend, however, it's easy for them to get mad, hit the block button, and then find another online friend, forgetting about you in the process. When you're blocked, it becomes difficult to try to reach them. It's also socially unacceptable to make another account and try talking to them. 

When communicating with an online friend, keep your cool if there is an argument. Don't reach for the block button. Take some time alone and talk again with a cool head. If you do hit the block button, remember you can always unblock.

They disappear

If you grew up online, you may have had an online friend who just disappeared. Maybe their account got hacked or the website you use to talk through is no more. Some people take breaks from social media, or tear down their accounts and rebuild them somewhere else. All it takes is a changed username to make reconnecting with an online friend difficult. It’s smart to get more contact info than just the social media site they're on. 

They may not be what they seem

If you're on a message board, exercise caution when making an online  friendship , especially if you're younger. You shouldn't accept an invitation to hang out with someone until you know for sure they're who they say they are.

Stay true to yourself

When making friends online, you want to stay true to yourself and what you want out of a friendship. You can find friends who reflect your interests and passions. It’s important to connect with people who will respect you and reflect your morals and values. When you’re finding friends – whether online or in real life – it’s okay to be picky. These are people who are here to support you. For them to know you well, you need to be real. 

New friendships are an exciting opportunity to show off your personality. When you make friends online, there are ways to show these individuals who you are through words, phone, or video chat. You don’t have to pretend you like something just to fit in. The whole point of making friends online is to find people whom you relate to who can enrich your life. 

The point of seeking people to chat with on the internet is to feel less alone. When you find friends online, you can tell them about what matters to you. Find friends online who care about your hobbies and can relate to you. Join some social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to widen your options for connecting with others. There are also groups you can join where people have similar interests to you. Think about what’s important to you, and look at ways to connect with others. There’s a platform to make friends for everyone!

Be safe online

It’s exciting to have online friends, but don’t get carried away, it’s important to be  safe . Be careful not to reveal information about yourself too soon. When meeting new friends online, find ones who are slow to open up and don’t just blurt out all their personal details. Be safe, and take your time revealing who you are. You don’t want to tell anyone where you live or work until you get to know them well. You don’t want people showing up at your door because you told them your address.

If you meet new friends, focus on your personality. See what your friends start revealing to you and build off these facts. In a way, it’s like “friend dating.” You’re testing out who you want to get close to, and which relationships to foster or let go. You’re going online to find people who you can talk to, and be emotionally vulnerable with, but that feeling comes with time. Like any friendship, trust takes time. You want to find new friends online who seem trustworthy. Let them earn that trust. 

What to look for in an online friendship

Friendships take time to develop. You want to look for somebody who genuinely is interested in you, and you are curious about them. Someone who is genuinely interested in being your friend will ask you questions about your interests and your life. 

When making friends with people you can't see in person, pay attention to the words they use; they matter. You want to read what they're telling you and take those statements at face value. The stories and reflections they impart about their real-life friendships will show you what sort of person they are. If they're loyal, it will come across. 

Another thing you can do is talk about yourself and see how they respond. Do they want to know more? Pay attention to the way a friend you're interested in talks to you. By being observant when you're meeting friends, you can learn a lot about them. 

Once you get to know each other and you're regularly conversing, how do you know if your online friend cares about you? You can gauge that by how often you speak to each other, what you talk about, and if they're there for you during rough times. When you find new friends online, it's crucial to have high standards for them. You deserve to be treated with respect and cared for in friendships. 

If you open up to your buddies on the internet during hard times and they're responsive, that's a good sign. That means they care for you. If you feel positive in the friendship, go with that instinct. If something is off, follow your gut there too. When you meet new friends online, they should align with what you want in life and care about you as a human being.

Getting help

While it is often easier to connect with people online compared to in person, it can still be unnerving. While many people online are nice, depending on the forum, there are also “keyboard cowboys” and cyberbullies whose main goal online is to argue and belittle other people. Other people have social anxiety disorder, which makes it extra difficult to strike up a conversation with someone new, sometimes even online.

A professional relationship counselor through Regain can help you navigate your friendships. They can also help with issues like social anxiety disorder or cyberbullying 

If you have a hard time connecting with others, one of the most important steps that you can take is to reach out to a counselor.  Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is a popular method of psychotherapy that has been found to help individuals with social anxiety, depression, and many other mental health concerns. CBT helps you learn new ways of behaving, thinking, and responding to social situations, as well as helping to build self-confidence . 

Studies have found that Internet-based CBT (iCBT) is usually just as effective as in-person therapy, which can make it easier for individuals who have social anxiety, as well as for those wanting to practice their online communication skills. Online counseling with Regain lets you find a professional relationship therapist without having to leave the comfort of your home, and they can work around your schedule, not vice versa.  

When you're talking to friends in a new setting, such as a social media platform or chatroom, you may not know what to expect. That's natural, but try to relax and be yourself. If you need help maneuvering through online friendships or working through mental health concerns like social anxiety, an online Regain counselor can help. Reach out today. 

Frequently asked questions (FAQs) about online friends

Do online friends count as real friends? If you're reading this, it's likely that you talk to people online or have talked to someone online at least once. When you meet people on the internet, you might be seeking a sense of support or connection. Maybe, you're about to move to a new area, and you're looking for friends online who are in the location you're moving to. Perhaps, you play games online and have met friends through gaming. If you're wondering, "Are online friends real?" the answer is yes. Online friends absolutely count as real friends. It doesn't matter where you met; it's the social-emotional connection that counts. You may start out with digital communication and move on to hanging out in person, or you may take a while to meet due to distance. Either way, online friendships can be special and unique connections. How to make friends is different for everybody. For some, it comes naturally whereas for others, it's a conscious effort, and both are completely valid.

Why are real friends better than online friends? Again, it's not where you meet that makes friends real. Many people meet their online friends face-to-face and establish connections with them offline. Whether you met someone in high school, at a social event, or online, you can have long-term associations with them that amplify your mental health and quality of life overall. Nothing beats having a true friend that you know will be there for you and that you can trust. Of course, before you consider online friends real friends, you have to make sure that they are who they say they are and establish trust. Online friendships are becoming more and more common, and people meet people online in person every day. Online friendships were once kept on the down-low or shunned and were regarded as separate from in-person friendships, but times are changing, and most people have at least one friend that they met digitally before engaging with one another face to face. There is something special about talking to people face to face and hanging out in person. In fact, it's irreplaceable, and it's important for your mental health to have social support that exists offline. That said, it's necessary to remember that for some, online connections become face-to-face connections. Don't discount someone's friendship if they meet a person online because that person could mean a lot to them.

Is having online friends bad? Having online friends isn't bad as long as you go about it safely. If you're wondering what makes online friends real, it is partially the social-emotional connection you have and partially verifying that they are who they say they are. Before you make online friends real friends, make sure to video chat and talk on the phone. Be sure to always bring someone with you when you meet people that you've only had digital communication with so far in person.

Are online friends healthy? Having online friends is certainly healthy as long as the internet does not become your whole life. Online friendships can be unique in the sense that you are likely to bond over things that you have in common rather than your geographical location. Of course, having friends in real life is extremely important, but sometimes the people that you meet in person initially won't always have the same interests. For example, if you are interested in mental health, you might meet people through mental health groups online. If you're interested in travel, astrology, or another niche, you might also meet people online who are into those things. It is essential to have social support from people who truly understand you, and of course, you can always meet your online friends in real life eventually. Some are more extroverted than others, but even introverts need friends and experience health advantages from social connections.

Why is making friends online bad?

Making friends online is not bad, but it is essential to be safe about it. Often, when people criticize online friendships, the main part of the problem they see is the potential safety issues affiliated with meeting someone online. This is a valid concern, but there are measures to take. Be sure to talk to people you meet online through video chat before you meet up. Meet in a public place and bring someone with you. Online friendships aren't just made by adults, so it is important to be aware of the potential that your teenager might make friends online whether you know about it or not.

Many teens report having one or more online friendships or friends that they initially met online. If you are the parent of a teen who makes friends online, it is understandable and unavoidable that you will be concerned. Your concern is valid. When a teenager wants to find a way to meet an online friend in person, it's hard to stop them. One of the things you can do is support them and accompany them when they meet an online friend for the first time. That way, you can avoid the possibility that they might sneak out or do something equally as unsafe so that they can meet a person from the internet. You can join us at the mall or in a café. Public places are always your best bet, and you don't have to make things awkward. Just be there for the first meeting, and if possible, get to know the person's parents. Likely, the parents of your teenager's friend will want to attend their first in-person meeting as well, so you can talk to them before meeting up, and they can accompany you, your teen, and your teen's friend when they meet in person.

How long do online friendships last?

When you meet a friend online, it may be the start of a friendship that lasts for the rest of your life. As with any friendship, there is the potential to stray apart, but there is also the possibility of a lifelong connection. When you make online friends real-life friends by meeting in person, this can become especially true. Remember that there are real people behind the screen, and that's part of what makes online friends real. This is part of why it is so important to be kind to the people you meet online. You never know who is going through tough times, and the words you say to people both in real life and online matter. Cyberbullying is an extremely serious issue to be wary of when you talk to people online or if you know that your kids are talking to people online. Being on high alert when it comes to this kind of thing is crucial, but it doesn't make all online friendships unhealthy, nor does it make them invalid.

Think about online dating. Some people start dating individuals that they met over the internet and end up getting married. Couples that meet online can get married and stay together for the rest of their lives in some cases. Relationships can go bad whether they begin online or in person, but they can also be exceptional. The same is true for online friendships.

Can you trust online friends? It's important not to trust people online too quickly. You can trust online friends once you meet them in person and confirm that they are who they say they are. Again, it's essential to take someone with you and stay safe when you meet an online friend in person. Video chat can be a place to start when it comes to making virtual connections real. Using video chat, you can see people's facial expressions and hear their voice, making everything feel more authentic. It can take time to develop trust in any friendship, but that's especially true for online friendships due to the possibility that you may come across someone who isn't who they say they are in any capacity from time to time. Trust will build over the course of months or years when you have phone calls, move onto video chat, and meet up in person. Once you've met someone in person in a safe manner, your bond can become even stronger. Meeting online friends in person for the first time is a joyful moment for a ton of people, and as long as you take every safety precaution possible, making virtual connections can be the start of a long, healthy friendship.

Who are real friends? Notice how easy for you to say "I love my family. I love my friends ." Real friends are like your family that you can count on. They make you feel good. Social connections are positive for your mental health, and being around someone who is a real friend will generally be uplifting. A true friend should give you a sense of support. When we talk about a support system, we often think of friends, family, and possibly, a mental health professional or multiple mental health providers. A real friend is therefore you through tough times and pleasant times alike and enhances your life.

What do online friends do online friends talk via web chat, phone calls, video chat, and more. sometimes, online friends will play games together remotely. they may chat or meet on web forums. when you meet a friend online, the eventual goal is often to establish a connection in person. you may text each other throughout the day or talk on social media, and if you live near the same area, you might meet up..

What is the difference between a real friendship and an online friendship?

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Do Online Friendships Differ From Face-to-Face Friendships?

Will online friends make the face-to-face cut.

Posted May 29, 2020 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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A lot of us had been reaching out to solidify connections with our support networks as we navigated our own personal lockdown living. Some of us also probably turned to the vast pool of online support options, as many of us felt the need to create a safety net or wider array of social and emotional support options.

When we’re faced with a crisis, one of our first responses might be to seek our support—there’s logic behind the saying, “There is safety in numbers.” It’s human nature to create and rely on a social support network and with the internet, we’ve been able to reach out to people around the globe and share our experiences over the past months.

Some of these relationships may have “heated up” due to the crisis situation we found ourselves facing. As we begin to acclimate to the new routines and work arrangements we’re entering, we may be wondering about our ability to maintain these close connections—as well as wondering about our interest in maintaining them.

What Makes a Friendship?

For any relationship to count as a friendship , several factors must be present. These include mutual affinity, mutual respect, and reciprocity. The most basic purpose of a friendship is to provide support, similar to family relationships in the best of circumstances. However, friendships are unique in that they are totally voluntary relationships—you can’t make a person like you or want to socially engage with you if they have no interest in doing so.

The three most common “motivating factors” for friendship development include shared interests, shared activities, or proximity. However, we also tend to subconsciously measure the potential “value” or “appropriateness” of a new friend by things such as their appearance, their status, their values, and their similarity to ourselves.

Our face-to-face social lives tend to be more conscripted by these factors than they do in our online lives. When we’re in an online environment, we tend to focus on individual qualities and experiences than these more culturally-bound or culturally-influenced factors.

It’s usually pretty easy to build an online support network through formal and informal pathways, whether you’re seeking advice on a particular topic or responding to others’ posts or to those who respond to your own social media posts.

In an online environment, we are typically seeking out people who share our hobbies, interests, or experiences. We want to connect with people who reflect our passions or our feelings about topics that we value, such as social issues, political issues, or contemporary culture. We also like to connect with those who are experiencing the events or transitions that we are experiencing, such as new mothers and home bakers. We also connect over hobbies, such as fellow kayakers, armchair travelers, or Disney World fans. Health and personal challenges also lead us to reach out to those who are facing similar things, such as 12-step groups or disease/illiness-specific support groups.

While few of us are actually going to meet up with online friends/real-world strangers, there is less concern about “how others see them” and more about what they mean to us and what we gain from the relationship. In addition, the more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to begin to “like them” and feel a connection. If we visit an online support group or online chat group on a regular and consistent basis, the more likely we are to begin to see the group members or chat partners as “friends.”

Dark Secrets May Be More Easily Shared Online

Another benefit of online friends is the freedom we feel to share information with those that we are unlikely to ever meet in person as we don’t fear later shame or that feeling of “retroactive embarrassment .” It’s like the willingness to share more personal information with others in stalled elevators or in happenstance transient friendships that pop up over a vacation or summer camp, etc. There’s a greater sense of anonymity and less concern about “what will this person think of me?” We are unlikely to be seeing this person on a frequent basis, so we won’t be reminded of our vulnerability and personal revelations. Our “confessions” are limited to a containable space and shared with people we actually never have to engage with again, if we choose not to.

"Pandemic Friends" May Disappear When Pandemic Fears Subside

While some online friendships deepen over time and endure for decades, there has to be more to the relationship than just one shared preference or experience. Friendships that flourish require an investment of time, energy, and support.

The most important aspect of friendship longevity has to do with the ability of the relationship to handle the dynamic nature of individuals. People are not static—we are changing and developing every day. If a friendship is too brittle or based on a single shared commonality, it is unlikely to have the depth and resilience to thrive as each person moves through life. While we all have friends from different stages of our lives, and seeing them may take us back in our minds to that time when their presence in our lives was so valued, if we don’t have enough connections beyond that one shared thing, the relationship won’t endure.

Will Our New Online Friends Make the “F2F World” Friendship Cut?

When we’re only engaging in online connections, we’re focused on the similarities between us and others. However, when we’re thinking of moving to a face-to-face relationship, we may become keenly aware of the differences between us and our online friends.

Not only does the depth of the connection matter, so does our willingness to let the part of ourselves that we may have shared in pseudo-anonymity and confidentially online “show up” in our real lives. If the bond is built on a love of a travel destination, we may plan a destination meet-up. This can become an annual pilgrimage or the experience may lead us to realize that one face-to-face meet-up may be enough for a lifetime if that perfectly acceptable online friend turns out to be totally unacceptable as a friend in real life—for whatever reason that might be.

Another aspect of moving online friendships into our real world is that when we share online, we are doing so in the comfort and privacy of our own homes. We are controlling the audience, the setting, and our communications. When we build friendships in face-to-face settings, we are losing any sense of anonymity and our being “exposed” in a way that some online connections cannot survive, for whatever reason.

In essence, all friendships are going to be voluntary relationships and as much as we might like to be able to “force friend” a person, it’s not something we can force to happen. Just as some friendships are really reflections of who we were at a certain point in our lives, but nothing more, some online friendships will only be able to exist when they are restricted to the virtual world where we can share and be whatever we want with a sense of safety from more public exposure.

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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Comparing the Happiness Effects of Real and On-Line Friends

John f. helliwell.

1 Canadian Institute for Advanced Research and Vancouver School of Economics, University of British Columbia, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Haifang Huang

2 Department of Economics, University of Alberta, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Conceived and designed the experiments: JFH HH. Analyzed the data: JFH HH. Contributed reagents/materials/analysis tools: JFH HH. Wrote the paper: JFH HH.

A recent large Canadian survey permits us to compare face-to-face (‘real-life’) and on-line social networks as sources of subjective well-being. The sample of 5,000 is drawn randomly from an on-line pool of respondents, a group well placed to have and value on-line friendships. We find three key results. First, the number of real-life friends is positively correlated with subjective well-being (SWB) even after controlling for income, demographic variables and personality differences. Doubling the number of friends in real life has an equivalent effect on well-being as a 50% increase in income. Second, the size of online networks is largely uncorrelated with subjective well-being. Third, we find that real-life friends are much more important for people who are single, divorced, separated or widowed than they are for people who are married or living with a partner. Findings from large international surveys (the European Social Surveys 2002–2008) are used to confirm the importance of real-life social networks to SWB; they also indicate a significantly smaller value of social networks to married or partnered couples.

Introduction

There are constant changes in the types of activities that people engage in, and in the technologies they use to establish and enjoy their social connections. For example, Robert Putnam’s analysis of movements in social capital in the United States over the 20th century showed that memberships in most US organizations, the frequency of dinner parties, league bowling, and many other types of social connection grew for the first 70 years of the 20th century and declined thereafter [1] . Some commentators and researchers argued that there were new types of social connection, possibly more effective in nature, that were growing and possibly offsetting the effects of declines elsewhere. One of the key examples offered was the substitution of on-line for face-to-face (we use this term interchangeably with ‘real-life’) friendships. The internet could thereby be seen as providing ways of enhancing or replacing face-to-face friends through the availability of on-line social networks.

How can the effects of these differing trends be compared? To judge the importance and value of differing forms of friendship requires a common basis for valuation. The broadening availability of data for subjective well-being offers one possible solution to this valuation problem. If it were possible to measure each individual’s network of on-line and real-life friends, then their respective contributions to subjective well-being could provide a way of comparing their values, and hence to judge whether the quality of social networks as a whole was growing or shrinking. Only very recently has there been a survey that provided comparable measures of networks of face-to-face and on-line friends, set in the context of a well-being survey of sufficient size and scope to permit comparable assessments of the two types of friends.

Literature Review

Friends and family are a long-established support for subjective well-being. Friends matter to happiness both for being potential sources of social support and for the pleasures from time spent together, whether at work, at play, or in activities for the benefit of others. Data from the Gallup World Poll suggest that having someone to call on in times of trouble is associated with a life evaluation that is higher, on a 0 to 10 scale, by almost half a point (page 298 in [2] ). This is more than the equivalent of increasing household incomes by 150%. There is also a dose-response relationship, so that having more friends is better than having fewer. Evidence from the Canadian General Social Survey shows that, compared to respondents having no close friends, to have 3 to 5 close friends is associated with life satisfaction 0.24 points higher on a 10-point scale, an amount that rises to.32 for those with 6 to 10 close friends, and to 0.43 points for those with more than 20 close friends [3] . Also notable is that happiness depends not just on the number of close friends, but also the frequency with which they are seen [3] , [4] . The same survey also asks about the number of close relatives, and the frequency with which they are seen. An interesting difference appears between friends and family. The number of close family matters more than the number of close friends, about twice as much up to 15 in number, with no gain thereafter, while frequency of seeing family contributes only half as much as the frequency of seeing close friends [3] . A similar result is found in US and other Canadian data analyzed by [5] , where it is shown that the frequency of seeing friends adds twice as much to subjective well-being as does the frequency of seeing family. The US and Canadian surveys in [5] also reveal a strong relation between subjective well-being and the frequency of seeing friends, with those seeing friends most frequently having subjective well-being higher by 0.5 points on a ten-point scale.

All of these results are based on fully specified models with many other control variables, although there is no doubt likely to be some remaining element of mutual causality between subjective well-being and the frequency of seeing friends. For example, those who are at the bottom end of the subjective well-being scale, and especially those who are clinically depressed, often reduce the extent to which they reach out to friends. Indeed social withdrawal is a key element in the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI) [6] , as supported in subsequent factor-analytic work by [7] . Thus some of the strong positive linkages between friends and happiness may reflect causal influences running in both directions. This is likely to apply for both real-life and on-line friends, and hence should not affect our comparisons in this paper between these two types of friends.

There are few studies of the linkages between on-line friendships and subjective well-being. One study [8] found a positive relation between subjective well-being and number of Facebook friends among a sample of 391 college-age subjects. Another study of college-age respondents in the United States, while not directly investigating the links between Facebook usage and subjective well-being, did find evidence that Facebook usage was correlated with proxy measures of social capital, but only for those with relatively low levels of satisfaction with campus life [9] . An earlier study of social capital and internet usage in a sample of US adolescents [10] found no significant relation between subjective well-being and time spent on-line. Those who spent more time messaging with close real-life friends were happier. Conversely, the relation between on-line time and subjective well-being was negative for those in contact with strangers or purely on-line friends. A recent study of Egyptian students found no significant relation between life satisfaction and intensity of Facebook usage [11] .

Although there are many studies showing the effects of marital status on subjective well-being, we have not found previous attempts to see if the happiness effects of either real-life or on-line friends differ by marital status. Using two different surveys, we look for, and find, a large interaction effect in the happiness effects of marital status and real-life friends, but no significant differences for the effects of on-line friends.

We think that our results are the first to compare the happiness effects of real-life and on-line friends. Hence there are no directly comparable prior studies. Based on a meta-analysis [12] of fifty years of studies showing significantly more effective cooperation in conflict resolutions using face-to-face rather than written communications, we might conjecture that a similar difference might exist to differentiate the happiness effects of real-life and on-line friends.

Data and Summary Statistics

The primary dataset for the paper is the 2011 Happiness Monitor survey sponsored by Coca-Cola and conducted in Canada between January 20 and 31, 2011 by Leger Marketing, using their online panel LegerWeb. The sample includes 5,025 Canadian residents, aged 16 and over, drawn from all ten Canadian provinces. The survey focuses on subjective well-being, and has questions that cover self-evaluation of life and other questions that can be used to construct alternative measures of well-being. It also has questions on people’s opinions about how various elements in life contribute to happiness. A section called Canadiana has occasionally light-hearted questions such as what is the happiest job in Canada, with a list that includes Zamboni driver and lumberjack.

From our perspective, the most interesting questions (other than the ones on well-being) are those on the size of social networks, separately for real-life friends and on-line friends. This presents an opportunity for us to examine potential differences between these two types of networks, specifically in their contributions to subjective well-being.

We use regression analysis to relate measures of subjective well-being to the sizes of social networks, as well as income and demographic controls. We will also use control variables to pick up differences in personalities; such variables include self-reported stress, time spent exercising and contributions to charitable causes.

The survey’s primary measure of subjective well-being is an 11-point (from 0 to 10) life ladder , based on the question “Please imagine a ladder with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. The top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand at this time?” This question, also known as Cantril’s Self-Anchoring Ladder, is frequently used in well-being studies, including the recent World Happiness Report [13] and many studies cited therein. We plot the distribution of sample responses in the first panel of Figure 1 . The mode is “7” with a quarter of the respondents. The next greatest concentration is “8” with about 20% of the responses. The sample mean is 6.8, significantly lower than for the Canadian ladder responses in the Gallup World Poll, as shown in figure 2 .3 of the World Happiness Report.

It is possible to construct two other measures of well-being from the survey. One is life satisfaction, based on the four-point responses to the question “To what extent do you agree with each of the following statements” that include a statement “I am satisfied with my life”. The four points are “strongly agree”, “somewhat agree”, “somewhat disagree” and “strongly disagree”. The second panel of Figure 1 shows the distribution. The mode, covering more than 50% of the responses, is “somewhat agree”. Another potential measure is the response to the question “How happy are you at the beginning of 2011? Very happy, somewhat happy, somewhat unhappy, very unhappy.” The distribution of happiness is similar to that of life satisfaction: the third step “somewhat happy” has more than 50% of the sample. We will use these two measures of well-being for robustness tests.

There is also a question on the level of stress, specifically the response to the question “How would you rate your average daily stress levels? Very low, Low, Medium, High, Very high.” Its distribution is shown in the last panel of Figure 1 . The response of “Medium” has the greatest share of responses at 40%.

We now move on to the two questions on social networks. The first question concerns real-life friends. The exact wording is “How big is your real-life social network of friends?” The permitted responses, unless the respondents refuse to answer, include “Less than 10 friends”, “Between 10 and 20 friends”, “Between 20 and 30 friends”, “Between 30 and 50 friends”, and “More than 50 friends”. The distribution of the network size is shown in the upper panel of Figure 2 . A large majority of the sample, almost 80%, is in the first two categories (i.e., with fewer than 20 friends).

The immediately next question in the survey concerns online friends: “How big is your online social network?” The responses include “I don't have an online social network”, “Less than 100”, “Between 100–300”, “Between 300–500”, “Between 500–700” and -Greater than 700”. The distribution is shown on the lower panel of Figure 2 . A large majority of the sample either has no online friends (about 25%) or have fewer than 100 of them (about 50%).

The two network questions have different numbers of steps, and both have some steps with sparse responses (see Figure 2 ). We correct for these problems by combining the top two categories of real-life network into one single category with 11% of the sample, and the top three categories of online network into one category with 9% of the sample. This way, we turn the two network sizes into a comparable scale of four steps. In the case of real-life network, the four categories are “less than 10”, “10–20”, “20–30” and “30 or more”, with 44%, 34% 11% and 11% of the sample, respectively. The size of online network falls into “0”, “1–100”, “100–300”, “300 or more”, with 23%, 50.8%, 17.6% and 8.6% of the sample, respectively.

Table 1 presents summary statistics of other variables. The average age is 45. Forty-five percent (45%) of the sample are married; 15% in common-law relation, 5% dating, 23% single; the remaining 12% are divorced, separated, widowed or are unknown. The income information is based on categorical responses of income intervals. We estimate the midpoint of each interval under the assumption that income follows a log-normal distribution. We then assign respondents in each interval the corresponding midpoint estimate. The categories for the income variables are “$20,000 and below”, “$20,001 to $35,000”, “$35,001 to $50,000”, “$50,001 to $75,000”, “$75,001 and $110,000” and “more than $110,000”. The estimated midpoints are $13,605, $27,073, $41,895, $60,345, $87,895 and $136,849 respectively. About 15% of the sample did not provide income information. We use a dummy variable to indicate such a status in the regression analysis. Among those that have valid income information, the sample mean is $51 thousand. The average time spent on moderate to high intensity exercising is 1.78 hours per week. Close to 60% of survey respondents indicated that they currently volunteer or give time or money to charitable causes.

A second dataset that we use is the European Social Survey (ESS), a biennial cross-sectional survey of residents aged 15 and over within private households that is “designed to chart and explain the interaction between Europe's changing institutions and the attitudes, beliefs and behaviour patterns of its diverse populations” (The European Social Survey project). We use the cumulative file for rounds 1–4 (2002, 2004, 2006, 2008) that has 34 participating countries. The ESS does not have information relating to online social networks. Instead, it has information on survey respondents’ frequency of socially meeting with friends, relatives or colleagues. Figure 3 plots the distribution of the frequency, in the categories of “Never”, “Less than once a month”, “Once a month”, “Several times a month”, “Once a week”, “Several times a week” and “Every day”.

The ESS has two alternative measures of SWB, happiness and life satisfaction. The two underlying questions are “Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are?” and “All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole nowadays?”. Both SWB measures are on a 11-point ascending scale from 0 to 10, with 0 indicating extremely unhappy/dissatisfied and 10 indicating extremely happy/satisfied. Figure 4 plots the distributions. Table 2 presents summary statistics of other variables.

By covering many different countries, adopting a different way of measuring interactions with friends, and by having additional measures of subjective well-being, the ESS increases the power and generality of our findings about the happiness effects of real-life friends.

Regression Analysis

Our regression analysis estimates the following equation

The measure of life ladder is ordinal; but as commonly found in the literature, little is lost if we treat it as cardinal. For example, [14] reported that the choice between probit regressions, which treats dependent variables as ordinal, and Ordinary Least Squares (OLS), which treats dependent variables as cardinal, makes virtually no difference to the estimated relationships between happiness and important explanatory variables. In this paper, we will present results from the method of OLS; Ordered Probit estimations yield qualitatively similar findings. In terms of quantitative evaluations, our discussions will be based largely on the concept of compensating differentials: we will compare the estimated effects of social networks to the estimated effects of income. The ratios of coefficients are almost invariant to the choice of regression methods, as switching between OLS and Ordered Probit affects estimated coefficients almost proportionally (see [15] for an example).

The variables of interest on the right-hand side are the sizes of social networks in real life and on-line. In both cases, the size information is based on categorical choices from a set of intervals (the distributions are shown in Figure 2 ). We enter the size information into the regressions in two different ways. The first approach uses a set of dummy variables to indicate the intervals. This avoids making assumptions regarding the functional form of the relationships between network sizes and subjective well-being. The second approach imposes an assumption that the relationship is log-linear. To implement the log-linear approach, we turn the intervals into continuous values by assigning the midpoint of an interval to observations in that interval. In the case of real-life friends, the category “Less than 10 friends” is assigned a value of 5, the category “Between 10 and 20 friends” receives a value of 15, and so on. The top category “More than 50 friends” is assigned a value of 60. Similarly, we assign continuous values to the size of online network by assigning zero to the category “I don’t have an online social network”, the value of 50 to “Less than 100”, the value of 200 to “Between 100–300”, and so on. The top category “Greater than 700” receives a value of 800.

Table 3 shows the regression output. In all columns, the dependent variable is the 0–10 point life ladder. In the first column, we enter the network sizes as a set of categorical variables. In the second column, the network sizes are in (logged) continuous values. The first two columns show the happiness effects of real-life and on-line friends without the inclusion of other variables. In columns (3) and (4) we add a full set of control variables to be described below, and in columns (5) and (6) we further test the robustness of our findings by adding a measure of psychological stress.

Columns (1) and (2) provide the simplest and starkest evidence that real-life and on-line friends have very different associations with subjective well-being. Whether measured as categories or as continuous variables, real-life friends are positively associated with happiness, while on-line networks have a negative relationship. The strong positive effects of real-life networks are consistent with much other research. The strong negative effects of on-line friends are more surprising. The difference between the two effects is striking. Because the size and nature of friendships is likely to be correlated with age, gender, marital status, income and other variables, we shall do our main analysis of results using columns (3) and (4), which confirm our first results showing sharply differing effects of real-life and on-line friends, but largely eliminate the estimated negative effects of on-line networks.

The estimated effects of the newly added control variables are largely consistent with the literature. As commonly found, there is a positive and statistically significant income effect. The estimates of the effect are largely invariant across specifications, and suggest that doubling income ( i.e. , an increase of logged income by 0.7 unit) increases the life ladder by about 0.3. Later we will use this estimate as a benchmark to evaluate the quantitative importance of social networks. In term of genders, male respondents tend to report a lower evaluation of life. There is a U-shape relationship between age and life ladder: the life ladder falls as age rises but makes a U-turn in the 40 s. In terms of marital status, the happiest respondents are those who are in a relationship (married, common-law, or dating). The least happy group, which we use as the reference group, includes those who are divorced, widowed or separated. The group of non-dating singles lies in between. The difference between singles and the in-relationship groups is substantial, equivalent to the impact of increasing logged income by an entire unit. There is a strong negative effect associated with being unemployed, a positive effect associated with exercising and volunteering time or money for charitable causes. The estimated coefficients on the educational variables turn out largely insignificant, likely because the control variables already include measure of household income and social-context variables that are correlated with education.

The sizes of social networks enter columns (3) and (5) in Table 3 as categorical variables of intervals. The reference groups that are left out are those that have the smallest networks, specifically “less than 10” in the case of real-life friends and zero in the case of online friends. The estimated effects of real-life friends are all statistically significant and quantitatively substantial. Compared to the group that has fewer than 10 friends, the estimates in column (3) suggests that having 10–20 friends increases the life ladder by 0.29 points, equivalent to the improvement associated with a 0.7 unit of logged income (or 100% increase of income). Compared to the same reference group, having 20–30 friends increases the ladder by 0.32 points, while having more than 30 friends increases the evaluation by 0.36. The estimates thus suggest a substantial non-linearity in the relationship between network sizes and well-being. The most substantial increase in well-being occurs when moving from the group of “less than 10” to the group of “10 to 20”. The marginal contribution beyond that is quite small. Columns (4) and (6), which treat network sizes as continuous values, also show positive and significant coefficients. The variable of network size is expressed in logarithms. The coefficient estimate is 0.19, equivalent to the well-being gain from a 0.44 rise increase in logged income. Doubling the number of real-life friends is equivalent to increasing income by more than one half.

The findings for on-line networks are strikingly different from those for real-life friends. Compared to the reference group that has no on-line network at all, having a greater number of on-line friends is not associated with a higher level of life ladder. If anything, the correlation is negative, generally not significant at the 95% confidence level. Column (4) uses logged continuous values to express the size of networks. In such a specification, the estimated effect from the online network is negative and significant, although it is quantitatively small (doubling the number of online friends has the equivalent effect of reducing income by 10%).

The regressions described above estimate the effect of the online social network while controlling for the size of real-life network. Given the positive correlations between online networks and real-life networks (the correlation coefficient is 0.25), we expect the coefficients for online networks size to become more positive if we remove the variables for real-life networks from the regressions. We performed this test using the equation of column (3), and it did indeed make the coefficients on online network size less negative, but they still maintain a negative sign throughout (though none of them has statistical significance at the 95% level).

The final two columns of the table add to the right-hand side of the regressions an extra variable: the self-reported level of daily stress. The inclusion of the stress variable increases the r-squared substantially (from 17% to 24%), but has little impact on the estimated effects of network sizes; nor does it change the contrast between the two types of network. These findings reinforce our earlier point that omitted variables, including those correlated with personality, will not put our conclusions at risk as long as their inclusion does not alter the key coefficients, and especially the relative impact of on-line and real-life friends. The equations adding stress thus provide additional evidence of the robustness of our results.

The next table, or Table 4 , uses the four-step life satisfaction and happiness answers as alternative dependent variables. For better comparability with the 0–10 point life ladder, we rescale the two variables so that they, too, have zero for the lowest level of satisfaction/happiness and 10 for the highest level. The estimates are similar to those from the estimations based on the life ladder. Real-life networks are important to satisfaction and happiness, while online networks are largely irrelevant. The biggest difference is that the estimated effect of real-life friendship is even greater for happiness and life satisfaction than for the life ladder. In the case of life ladder in Table 3 , doubling the number of real-life friends has the same effect as increasing income by more than one-half (exp.44 = 1.55). For life satisfaction, doubling the number of friends is equivalent to a doubling of income (exp.69 = 1.99), while for happiness it has the same effect as a trebling of income (exp 1.12 = 3.06).

Next, we split the sample into two subgroups: one includes respondents who are married or in a common-law relationship; the other includes the rest of the sample. This is to compare the importance of friendship and social networks in the two segments of the population. Our earlier results have already shown that both marriage and real-life friends contribute importantly to subjective well-being, and by somewhat comparable amounts. Our results also show that those who are single but dating are almost as happy as those who are living together, once again suggesting the importance of the social aspects of co-habitation.

Table 5 presents the split-sample estimates. Its first two columns use the life ladder as the dependent variable, while the other four apply to life satisfaction and happiness, respectively. For each of the alternative dependent variables, one column shows estimates from the married/partnered sample; the other shows estimates from the rest of the sample. The findings regarding social networks are similar across the measures of SWB. The sizes of on-line networks are largely statistically insignificant for both subgroups. The real-life networks, in contrast, have positive and generally significant effects on SWB; but there is a stark contrast between the married/partnered respondents and the rest of the sample. Real-life networks have greater effects for people who are not married/partnered. The estimated differences are substantial. In the case of life ladder, the estimated contribution of having more than more than 30 friends is 0.72 in the un-married/partnered sample; the standard error is 0.18. In contrast, the estimated contribution is only 0.14 for people who are married or in a common-law partnership; the standard error is 0.14. There is thus no overlap in the 95% confidence intervals of the two estimates. Regressions using the alternative measures of SWB show a similar pattern of difference, with real-life networks being significantly more valuable for people who are not married or in a common-law partnership. Finally, we note that when we separate the married group and the common-law group instead of treating them as a single sample, we find by and large similar relationships between real-life friends and happiness. Table 6 reports the estimates. In all cases, the point estimates of the real-life friends’ effects in the married sample or in the common-law sample are smaller than those in the rest of the population (in Table 5 ). This explains why we combine the married and the common-law population together as a single group, and compare it to the rest of the population.

We also split the sample by gender (male and female) and by age group (16–34, 35–49, 50–64 and 65 and up). Table 7 presents the estimates. The estimated effects of on-line networks are mostly insignificant, or have signs indicating negative contributions to SWB. Real-life friends, on the other hand, have positive and mostly significant estimates. The biggest exception concerns the age group 35 to 49, for which none of the network variables (online or real) have any positive and significant effects. In fact, the highest size of on-line network is negatively associated with life ladder, with strong statistical significance.

Finally, we split the sample along the interactive gender×age groups: young (16–34) males and females, middle-aged (34–50) males and females, elder (50 and up) males and females. Table 8 presents the estimates. Many of the estimated effects of the real-life network become insignificant, likely due to the drop in sample size. But they retain their positive sign with very few exceptions. It is worth noting that, among middle-aged females, having the largest size of online network (300 online friends or more) has a large, negative and significant association with SWB. The estimated effect is so large that it exceeds that of being unemployed by a substantial margin. One possible explanation for this association is reverse causality, with unhappy people extending greater efforts to expand their on-line networks or resorting to more intensive online activity that leads to greater network sizes.

Findings from the ESS

The previous section makes three empirical observations: 1) the size of real-life social networks contributes positively to SWB; 2) the size of on-line social networks does not contribute to SWB; 3) the real-life social network is more valuable for respondents who are not married or in a common-law relationship. We can test the robustness of the first and the third observations using the European Social Survey (ESS), a large international survey whose first four rounds (2002–2008) include more than 180,000 individual respondents in 34 countries. The ESS does not, unfortunately, have information about on-line social networks.

We will use the ESS data to estimate equations similar to equ(1), but without the variable for on-line networks. There are two alternative measures of SWB from the survey, happiness and life satisfaction, both on the same 11-point scale from 0 to 10 as is used for the Cantril ladder in the Canadian survey. The variable of interest on the right-hand side is the response to the question “how often do you meet socially with friends, relatives or work colleagues?” This measure of social interactions is originally recorded in seven categories: “Never”, “Less than once a month”, “Once a month”, “Several times a month”, “Once a week”, “Several times a week” and “Every day”. To construct categorical indicators with sufficient sample sizes, we collapse the survey responses into five categories: “less than once a month including never” (with a combined mass of 11%), “once a month” (9%), “several times a month including once a week” (36%), “several times a week” (27%) and “every day” (17%). We then include the categorical indicators on the right-hand side of our estimations to explain SWB.

Our regressions also include a conventional set of control variables in SWB analysis: age, age squared, educational attainment, marital status, labour force status and income. We also control for country fixed effects and wave fixed effects (The wave 1 ESS was conducted in 2002, wave 2 in 2004, wave 3 in 2006 and wave 4 in 2008). The country fixed effects remove cross-country differences in per capita income as well as the potentially different interpretations regarding the scale of satisfaction and happiness. We also use the general level of trust (the response to the question whether “most people can be trusted, or that you can't be too careful in dealing with people”), the frequency of attending religious services outside special occasions, and self-reported health status to control for the differences in social and religious attitudes, subjective health, as well as possible personality differences. We use Ordinary Least Squares, clustering errors at the country level.

Tables 9 and ​ and10 10 present the results. The findings for the control variables are similar to those reported in the previous section. Males tend to report lower happiness and satisfaction. There is a U-shape relation between age and SWB; those in the 40 s report the lowest happiness and life satisfaction. Compared to the divorced, separated or the widowed, being married or in a civil partnership is associated with higher SWB. The same is true for being never married, but to a lesser extent. Higher income is associated with higher SWB. We find positive income-SWB relation throughout the income distribution. The relation flattens out at middle and higher income, but the marginal contribution of income to well-being never falls to zero or becomes negative. In terms of labour force status, there is no significant difference between being employed and not participating. Being unemployed, however, is a significant negative factor with a large estimated effect. The SWB difference between unemployment and non-participation is similar to the difference arising from moving an individual from the lowest income decile to the 7th decile in the case of happiness, or to the 8th decile in the case of life satisfaction. General trust, the frequency of attending religious services and self-reported health status are all positive contributing factors to happiness and to life satisfaction.

Our variable of special interest on the right-hand side is the frequency of socially meeting with friends, relatives and colleagues. The estimated coefficients on this variable are all positive. A higher frequency is associated with greater happiness and satisfaction. For happiness, the greatest improvement occurs when moving away from the bottom (less than once a month) to the category of “once a month”; the happiness increment is 0.4 point. There is a further gain of 0.25 when moving to “several times a month”, then a further 0.16 gain to “several time a week”, then a further 0.17 gain to “every day”. For life satisfaction, the marginal improvements associated with the same step-by-step moves are 0.31, 0.26, 0.17 and 0.09, respectively in the same order. These contributions, especially those arising from a move from the bottom (less than once a month) to the next level (once a month), are very substantial, more than the SWB gain due to a jump from the 5th income decile to the top decile in the case of happiness, and equivalent to a jump from the 5th decile to the 8th decile in the case of life satisfaction. But it is important to realize that there is only about 10% of the population whose frequency of social interactions is at the bottom with less than once a month; so we are talking about moving away from a small minority that has a very low frequency of social interactions. If we focus on the move from “several times a month” to “several times a week”, the marginal contribution is more moderate. The income equivalent is a move from the 5th decile to the 8th in the case of happiness, and from the 5th to the 7th in the case of life satisfaction.

We now examine the difference between married couples/civil partners and those who are not in such relations. The findings from the Canadian survey indicate that the importance of real-life networks to SWB is greater for those who are not in a marriage or a common-law partnership. The ESS yields qualitatively similar observations. The second and the third columns of Tables 9 present estimates from the spilt-sample estimation, with happiness as the dependent variable. Table 10 has the same split-sample estimations with life satisfaction as the dependent variable. For both SWB measures, the estimated effects of social interactions are lower for married/partnered couples than for the rest of the population. In most cases, the differences between point estimates are greater than two standard errors of individual estimates.

The findings from the ESS thus confirm that real-life social networks (captured as the frequency of social interactions in the ESS) are positive and substantial contributing factors to SWB, with an importance that is greater for people who are not married or in a civil partnership.

We have used data from a large new Canadian survey to estimate the subjective well-being benefits of comparably measured networks of real-life and on-line friends. We have three main results. First, we confirm many earlier studies showing the importance of real-life friends to subjective well-being. Second, we find that comparably measured networks of on-line friends have zero or negative correlations with subjective well-being, whether or not allowance is made for the influence of other factors. Third, we find significant interactions between marriage and friends as sources of happiness. The estimated well-being impact of the number of friends is much smaller for those who are married or living together, suggesting that friends and spouses provide some similar happiness benefits. We also find that single people who are dating have subjective well-being significantly higher than those who are not. The effect is almost as high as for living together, which in turn is nearly as high as being married. These results also suggest that the company and friendship of marriage matter as much as the legal institution. Our Canadian results on the well-being value of networks of real-life friends are confirmed also for large samples of data from the European Social Survey. We also confirm from the ESS the greater value of friends for those who are not married.

Our results on the relative values of real-life and on-line friends are likely to be specific to generations, countries, and demographic groups, and to change as social and technological changes alter the possibilities for these two types of social connection to be either mutually supportive or inconsistent in their consequences for well-being. The overall importance of friendship to the maintenance of subjective well-being would seem to support more widespread collection of comparable data on the size and quality of friendships of different types, whether real-life or on-line, or on or off the job.

The limitations of our current results relate in part to the fact that we have only one survey comparably measuring the size of networks of real-life and on-line friends, so that our results might depend to some extent on sample or population specifics. As in all correlation analysis, there are risks that the influences we treat as running from friends to happiness may also be running in the reverse direction, or be determined by some third factors not controlled for. Our hope is that these difficulties are sufficiently shared by the data for the two types of friends that our comparative results might be expected to hold in more experimental contexts. We hope at least to have provided a useful first look.

Acknowledgments

The authors are grateful to the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research for research support, and to Leger Marketing and Coca-Cola Canada for data from their 2011 Happiness Monitor. The Cumulative Data Rounds 1–4 of the European Social Surveys was available at www.europeansocialsurvey.org/ . The Happiness Monitor survey data needed for replicating the results reported in this paper will be made available to other researchers by the authors upon request.

Funding Statement

This research is supported by the Social Interactions, Identity and Well-Being program of the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. The corresponding author is co-director of that program. The funders had no role in study design, data collection and analysis, decision to publish, or preparation of the manuscript.

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Essay On Online Friends And Social Development

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Hotels , Sociology , Relationships , Internet , Development , Life , Friendship , Friends

Published: 11/14/2019

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Online friends and social development

Introduction

The advent of the internet provided an opportunity for people to create and maintain online profiles and friends, an impact aspect of online friends is that it is gradually becoming integrated into the social circle of individuals (Buote & Wood, 2009). This integration into the social circles of individuals implies that online interactivity plays an integral role in their social development. Online friends, just like the real life context, provide an avenue effective functioning of the social relationships within adolescents; this is because adolescents are more attached to individuals outside the family circle, and the online social networks provide a perfect opportunity for the development of such social relationships attachment (Mesch, 2009). In addition, online friendships provide a framework for the development of social capital of an individual Online friendship is similar to conventional friendship in various ways. For instance, most online friendships are established for the sake of common interest of both parties such as dating or any other common social factor. Online friendship is also similar to conventional friendship in the sense that its development is based on the mutual trust that exists between the various parties, and in most cases, trust is achieved after considerable measure and evaluation of the online profiles, this is similar to real life friendship in the sense that the development of conventional friendship depends on the continual interaction between the friendship entities (Mesch, 2009). A notable difference between online friendship and conventional friendship is that real world relationships are more physical and interactive compared to online friendships, which depend on the frequency of a person’s use of the internet. In addition, online friendships are less likely to last long due to trust and security issues associated with identities posted in social profiles It can be argues that online social friendships provide an avenue through which adolescents can develop their interpersonal skills, such as negotiating, identity revelation and taking intom account the diverse viewpoints found in the online environment. This is because adolescents usually take some considerable time to evaluate the nature and the benefits that may result from maintaining such relationships (Mesch, 2009).

Buote, V., & Wood, E. (2009). Exploring the similarities and differences between online and offline friendships: the role of attachment. Computers in Human Behavior , 561-563. Mesch, G. (2009). Explaining the Differential Quality of Online and Off Line Relationships: The Role of Multiplexity and Duration. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association. Marriott Hotel, Loews Philadelphia Hotel, Philadelphia, PA.

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Essay on Friendship for Students and Children

500+ words essay on friendship.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings.

You meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever. Those are your real friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. Friendship is the most beautiful gift you can present to anyone. It is one which stays with a person forever.

True Friendship

A person is acquainted with many persons in their life. However, the closest ones become our friends. You may have a large friend circle in school or college , but you know you can only count on one or two people with whom you share true friendship.

There are essentially two types of friends, one is good friends the other are true friends or best friends. They’re the ones with whom we have a special bond of love and affection. In other words, having a true friend makes our lives easier and full of happiness.

Most importantly, true friendship stands for a relationship free of any judgments. In a true friendship, a person can be themselves completely without the fear of being judged. It makes you feel loved and accepted. This kind of freedom is what every human strives to have in their lives.

In short, true friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Having a loving family and all is okay but you also need true friendship to be completely happy. Some people don’t even have families but they have friends who’re like their family only. Thus, we see having true friends means a lot to everyone.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Importance of Friendship

Friendship is important in life because it teaches us a great deal about life. We learn so many lessons from friendship which we won’t find anywhere else. You learn to love someone other than your family. You know how to be yourself in front of friends.

Friendship never leaves us in bad times. You learn how to understand people and trust others. Your real friends will always motivate you and cheer for you. They will take you on the right path and save you from any evil.

Similarly, friendship also teaches you a lot about loyalty. It helps us to become loyal and get loyalty in return. There is no greater feeling in the world than having a friend who is loyal to you.

Moreover, friendship makes us stronger. It tests us and helps us grow. For instance, we see how we fight with our friends yet come back together after setting aside our differences. This is what makes us strong and teaches us patience.

Therefore, there is no doubt that best friends help us in our difficulties and bad times of life. They always try to save us in our dangers as well as offer timely advice. True friends are like the best assets of our life because they share our sorrow, sooth our pain and make us feel happy.

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Making Friends Through Internet Essay Example

• Pages: 3 (621 words)
• Published: March 1, 2017
• Type: Essay

Nowadays, making friends on internet has been popular throughout the world. People search for new friends, soul mates, or confidants. The internet has become an important tool to connect people with each other. Since the internet is so convenient, making friends may no longer be a problem. On the other hand, Internet Friendship may lead to some troubles because some people make get cheated online. I strongly disagree with the establishment of relationships through internet because I think friends on internet friends are different from real life friends.

No one knows what their purpose is. From my past experience, the relationship with internet friends does not last long because they often come and go easily. There are some negative effects on people that will be discuss later in this paper. In today’

s world, there are many kinds of people using the internet around the world. This allows us to learn new languages from different cultures and races by writing e-mails, chatting online, or sending message on boards.

People who are shy prefer to make friends through internet because he or she won’t have to talk to someone in person. Unfortunately, friends on internet are not always reliable, they might tell you a lie or pretend to be someone else. You may trust the person on internet and give out your personal information. The person on the other side of the screen can’t console you, they can only advise you. It would be dangerous if the person want to meet face to face. You will never know what a complete stranger will do to you.

He or she might have some special purposes and do harm to you. Man

people feel confident and safe behind their screen while making friends on internet instead of meeting face to face. Nevertheless, if a person is addicted to meeting new friends online or gets involved in other entertainments on internet, he or she often spends less time with friends and family. He or she no longer hang out with friends but socialize with net friends instead. The most important thing for them is to come back home and connect on computers.

This is a major problem that most parents face when their children have less physical activities which leads their children to bad health. Some parents are not aware of dangers of internet that brings to their children particularly making friends through internet. For example, their children might get cheated with someone else on internet and their children will not tell what happen to them when they encounter danger. According to BBC News, a 47 year old man defrauded a 13 year old girl online and asked to meet face to face.

Luckily, the girl’s mother found out beforehand or else her daughter might be in danger. From this news, we can see that there internet friends are not always honest and they are more likely to consider as un-trustful strangers. Therefore, parents should concern more about their children, teach them about the dangers of making friends on internet, and avoid them from going out with a stranger. With the development of internet, people are able to meet new friends who have the same interest or hobby through the internet.

Although, it is easy to make friends on internet, people do not know whether the person they are talking to

is good or bad. Some people will also spend most of their time on internet which leads them to less interaction with friends and family. Parents should concern more about their children while they are meeting new friends on internet. Although the internet allows people to stay in touch with distant family and friends, I think the negative effects outweigh the positives effects.

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Marion Winik ** ** is the author of nine books, including The Big Book of the Dead (Counterpoint, 2019) and First Comes Love (Vintage, 1997). Her essays have been published in The New York Times , AGNI , The Sun , and elsewhere; her column at BaltimoreFishbowl.com has been running since 2011. A professor at the University of Baltimore, she reviews books for The Washington Post , Oprah Daily , and People and hosts the NPR podcast The Weekly Reader . She was a commentator on NPR’s All Things Considered for fifteen years. marionwinik.com (updated 4/2024)