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June 21, 2014

Famous College Essay

We’ve never written about this essay on our college admissions blog before. But we figured…why not? If one were to ask us what is the most famous college essay ever written, we know the answer hands down. It’s this NYU applicant’s essay from many, many years ago. To this day, it remains well known in the highly selective college admissions community. But, today, we’d like to discuss it. Look, it’s extremely well written. Rarely — and we mean rarely — have we seen students with this kind of writing ability. Did we say rarely yet? Because we do mean rarely. And it’s quite funny. The guy can make 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes.

And while it was a great essay at the time and the writer definitely has a sense of humor, we strongly discourage students from writing essays in this style. For one, every single admissions officer — from the ones who are first out of college to the veterans of the departments — will know from where you’re taking inspiration. Also, this essay is kind of mocking the entire college admissions process. The writer is essentially saying that he has done all of these amazing things in life and he hasn’t even yet gone to college. Sure, it’s written tongue in cheek but, at the end of the day, the essay says little about the actual applicant. Because, presumably, little or none of it is true. That’s the whole point.

Look, this was a great essay all of those years ago. There’s a reason it’s a famous essay. What we’re saying is don’t even think about taking inspiration from it or writing anything stylistically similar because that is not a good idea for you. Here’s the essay:

“I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes.

I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire.

I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But, I have not yet gone to college.”

What do you think about this college essay? Let us know your thoughts by posting a Comment below. We look forward to hearing from you! Oh, and if you’re a rising high school senior, now is the time when you should be working on your college essays . So contact us  today to get started!

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, writing the why nyu essay.

College Essays

If you're applying to New York University, you'll need to submit both the regular Common App materials as well as the NYU supplement, which includes a short essay. At its heart, the NYU essay prompt asks you to answer a single straightforward question: why do you want to go to NYU?

In this article, we'll fully analyze the "Why NYU?" essay prompt and what successful essays need to accomplish. We'll also go over potential topics to write about and look at the essay that got me into NYU's College of Arts and Science.

First, however, we'll begin with a quick discussion of why schools ask students to write "why this school?" essays

feature image credit: Sagie /Flickr

Why NYU Essay 2023 Update

NYU has discontinued the "Why NYU" for the 2022-2023 admissions cycle . That means there won't be an NYU-specific writing supplement provided as part of the Common Application process. 

However, students can submit an optional 250-word response as part of NYU's additional questions section. This response deals with students' perspectives on diversity. Here's the prompt for 2023-2024: 

We are looking for peacemakers, changemakers, global citizens, boundary breakers, creatives and innovators. Choose one quote from the following and let us know why it inspires you; or share a short quote and person not on our list who inspires you, and include why.

“We’re used to people telling us there are no solutions, and then creating our own. So we did what we do best. We reached out to each other, and to our allies, and we mobilized across communities to make change, to benefit and include everyone in society.” Judith Heuman, 2022 NYU Commencement Address

“I encourage your discomfort, that you must contribute, that you must make your voice heard. That is the essence of good citizenship.” Sherilynn Ifill, 2015 NYU Honorary Degree Recipient

“You have the right to want things and to want things to change.” Sanna Marin, Former Prime Minister of Finland, 2023 NYU Commencement Address “It’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair.” Taylor Swift, Change, Released 2008, 2022 NY Commencement Speaker

Share a short quote and person not on the list and why the quote inspires you.

What's the Point of "Why This School" Essays?

While the Common App essay gives students a chance to showcase something of who they are that might not be evident elsewhere in their application, the "why [school]?" essay allows students space to explicitly state why they are such a good match for the school.

Presumably, if you're applying to the school, your test scores, grades, course rigor and curriculum, extracurriculars, and volunteer experience all put you at least somewhat in line with other students at the school.

The "why this school?" essay is your opportunity to discuss not just why you could excel at the school, but why you are a good fit (and why you want to go there).

"Why this school" essays are also a useful way for schools to judge student interest in a school (which can indicate whether or not a student will attend if admitted). Based on students' "why this school?" essays, colleges can distinguish students who are specifically interested in attending that school from students who clearly applied just because of the school's location or ranking

Writing a strong "why [school]?" essay not only gives you another instance to showcase your writing and reasoning skills, but also tells the school that you care enough to invest time in researching what makes them special. It signifies that you have put in the time to realize whether or not you're a good fit. (And, it secondarily shows that having put in that time, you're more likely to attend if admitted than someone who just wrote some generic statements about why they want to attend college ).

For a more in-depth look at what schools hope to get out of your "Why [This School]?" essays, read this article .

Why NYU Essay Prompt, Analyzed

Here's the complete NYU supplement essay prompt for 2021:

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why you have applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand - Why NYU? (400 word maximum)

Besides the standard "what motivated you to apply to [school]?" question that almost every "why this school" essay asks, the NYU prompt gives you one extra nudge for what to focus on in your essay.

Specifically, NYU wants you to talk about what's drawn you to "a particular campus, school, college, program, and/or area of study?" (or, if you're drawn to more than one, why you're drawn to each campus/school/college/program/area of study).

Keep in mind that you should be discussing all of this in the context of NYU . Obviously, if you're interested in NYU because of one of their 10 undergraduate schools, then that's particular to NYU, but the same goes for their campus locations, programs, and areas of study.

For instance, if you're passionate about studying theater, you wouldn't just write that you want to attend NYU because you love theater and NYU has a theater program and is in New York, a city that has theater; that description could apply to half a dozen schools. Instead, you'd go into the details of what attracts you about specific classes and professors at Tisch, or other opportunities that are unique to NYU (ability to do certain kinds of projects, the potential for interdisciplinary collaboration, etc).

This prompt also hints at a few different directions you can go with your "Why NYU" essay:

Why have you expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses.

If you're already certain of what you want to study in college or have a " spike ", you'll want to go the "particular" route in your essay . This means mentioning specific classes, professors, programs, or how you see NYU supporting your future career/academic plans.

On the other hand, perhaps you're not at all sure what you want to study in college (AKA me in high school). In that case, you'll shape your essay more around how you believe going to NYU will allow you to explore many different avenues to find your passion .

Finally, if you already know that you want to spend time abroad during college in a place where NYU has a campus, you can emphasize your interest in continuing to receive an NYU-level academic education while living in another country .

Potential "Why NYU?" Essay Topics

Earlier, we briefly touched upon some topics that you might write about in your essay, including specific courses/teachers/programs and study abroad opportunities.

We're now going to take those broad topic categories and go into a little more depth for how to write about them in your "Why NYU?" essay.

Colleges/Programs

NYU has the following 10 undergraduate schools, colleges, and programs:

• College of Arts & Sciences
• Gallatin School of Individualized Study
• Liberal Studies
• Meyers College of Nursing
• School of Professional Studies
• Silver School of Social Work
• Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development
• Stern School of Business
• Tandon School of Engineering
• Tisch School of the Arts

Because there are so many different undergraduate programs within NYU, it's a good idea to identify which program(s) you're applying to and why in your NYU supplement essay.

Since you'll need to decide on a program before applying to NYU anyway, you might as well use the time you spend reading about each college to figure out if there are any programs within particular colleges that call out to you.

For instance, if you're interested in the intersection of different fields (like psychology and computer science, or biology and philosophy/ethics) and are self-motivated to create your own program of study, you should talk about that in your application to the Gallatin School of Individualized Study. If you've spent the last 12 years devoting all your extra time in and out of school to theatre and want to attend a conservatory with opportunities to go see live theatre, then write about that in your application to Tisch.

Courses/Professors

NYU is a world-renowned university for a reason, and it's not just because of its immense real estate holdings; it has a wide variety of courses and professors renowned in their fields. If one of the main reasons you're drawn to NYU is for its academics, then this is a good topic to get into in your supplemental essay.

Flip through the online course catalogs and read about professors in departments you're interested in. Are there any classes you really want to take (that seem particular to NYU)? Or any professors you absolutely have to study with?

You don't need to go so far as to read the professors' research or anything like that (unless you're super excited by it!), but doing even a little research into the courses and professors you'd be learning from and mentioning it in your "Why NYU?" essay will go a long way toward showing the admissions officers that you're serious enough about NYU to check out its specifics.

Extracurricular Opportunities and School Traditions

If there's an extracurricular at NYU that you've been particularly involved in during high school (or are excited to start getting involved in at college), you can write about it, as long as you're clear about why it's something unique to NYU.

In a similar vein, you can also try reading through some of the campus-wide events offered throughout the year and see if there's anything special about them that speaks to you.

NYU Essay: Topics to Avoid

The "Why NYU" essay prompt makes it pretty clear that you should focus your 400 words around a specific college/program/area of study.

What you absolutely should avoid is gushing about NYU's location (whether you're applying to the New York campus or not).

Back when I applied to NYU, the "why NYU?" essay prompt was even more blunt about not centering your essay around New York City:

"Many students decide to apply to NYU because of our New York City location. Apart from the New York City location, please tell us why you feel NYU will be a good match for you."

If New Yorkers have heard it all and seen it all before, NYU admissions officers have certainly read any and all paeans you could care to write to New York City.

It's fine to write about how being in New York gives you access to opportunities relevant to your course at NYU (e.g. you can get amazing internship opportunities for journalism and theatre there that you wouldn't be able to get anywhere else). However, you need to be clear to center your essay around the program at NYU, with the New York location (and its opportunities) being an added bonus.

Unless you have a unique take on why NYU's location is so important to you (e.g. your grandparents used to live in a building that was demolished to make way for Bobst law library and you were brought up on vengeance that has since turned to adoration), stay away from NYU's location in your explanation of why you want to go there.

Brainstorming for the Why NYU Essay

Before you start to narrow in on what angle you'll take in your "Why NYU?" essay, you should first examine your reasons for applying to NYU. By "examine," we don't just mean "list your reasons"—we mean you need to go a few levels deeper into each surface reason that occurs to you.

For example, this is the list of reasons I had for applying to NYU (roughly in order of importance):

• My test scores and grades/course rigor make it likely I'll get in
• NYU has lots of good schools and programs
• It's easy enough to get from NYU to my family, transportation-wise

On the face of it, none of these reasons are very compelling. If I'd just gone on to write my "Why NYU?" essay (or in those days, essays) with those three bullet points, I doubt I would have been accepted.

Instead, I went deeper with each reason to see if there was anything there I could mine for the NYU supplement essay.

Surface Reason 1 : My test scores and grades/course rigor make it likely I'll get in.

• One level deeper : I'm applying to NYU as a safety school, because I'm pretty sure I'll get in there, even if I don't get in anywhere else, and I'd want to go there if I got in.
• Should I write about this in my "why NYU" essay? Definitely not. No school wants to hear that it's a safety (even if it's a safety you would be fine with attending because it's still a good school).

Surface Reason 2 : NYU has lots of good schools and programs.

• One level deeper : I'm extremely undecided about what I want to study—I know that I'm interested in English (Creative Writing), Math, Neuroscience, Chinese, and Music, but I might end up deciding to study something entirely different in college. It's important to me that I go somewhere that I'll have the opportunity to explore all of my interests (and develop more), which I can do at NYU.
• Should I write about this in my "Why NYU" essay? This reason is definitely promising, although I'll need to do more research into the particular programs and courses at NYU so I can namedrop (and in the process, double-check that I'm right about being able to study all these things there!).

Surface Reason 3 : It's easy enough to get from NYU to my family, transportation-wise.

• One level deeper : My parents want there to be good transportation options for me visiting home (or them visiting me). NYU's location (New York City) definitely makes that possible (there's easy access to planes, trains, buses, rental cars, fixed-gear bikes…).
• Should I write about this in my "Why NYU" essay? Probably not. The prompt asks me about why I've expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and/or area of study, not a geographic area. Plus, it's not like there aren't plenty of other New York schools. I maybe could throw in this reason if I'm running short on things to say, but as it is, it looks like my second reason is going to be the best bet for the "Why NYU?" essay.

Why NYU Essay Sample

Below, I've created a "Why NYU?" essay example that draws verbatim from what I used in my (successful) NYU application. (The essay requirements were slightly different then, with different word counts, so I had to expand a little upon what I originally wrote.)

I feel NYU would be a good match for me because of the number and kinds of programs it has. I am very interested in a variety of subjects, and NYU seems to encompass everything. In fact, I'm applying to the College of Arts and Sciences because I can’t specify my interests any more than that at this time. I have so many things that I want to learn that I can’t imagine limiting myself before I even enter college.

Take Chinese, for example. I'm learning Mandarin now (and have been for the last five years), but I would also like to learn Cantonese. There are not many other schools that offer Cantonese classes that can boast trips into Chinatown as part of the curriculum! Furthermore, I am excited by the possibility of studying abroad at NYU Shanghai. I'd not only be able to go to China for a semester for a year and immerse myself in the language and culture, but I'd be able to do so with the continuity of being on an NYU campus, even halfway across the world.

The music theory program in the College of Arts and Sciences also really interests me. I've picked up some theory here and there, but I haven't had all that much formal training. I'm also really intrigued by NYU's early music ensemble and the chance to explore different modes and tunings. At the other end of the spectrum, while I've written a few pieces on my own and taught myself a little bit about MIDI, I have not really had a chance to experiment very much with computer/electronic composition, and would really like to use those Steinhardt facilities that would be available to me at NYU to help remedy this.

Finally, I cannot stress enough how important reading and creative writing are to me. Because of how much the two feed into one another, I'm excited by NYU's Reading Series and the potential to be able to attend organized events for interacting with other writers outside the classroom.

The opportunity to expand my Chinese language abilities beyond Mandarin (and have the chance for practical application) is what first intrigued me; the chance to explore computer music and get my hands on NYU's facilities was the next breadcrumb; but the breadth and depth of the courses for writing lure me in even more, until I can resist no further.

This essay isn't necessarily the best piece of writing I've ever done. However, it still effectively conveys my desire to attend NYU because I mention a few key reasons I want to attend NYU:

• The variety of courses available . I began by stating that I'm undecided and part of what attracts me to NYU is the opportunity to get to do lots of different things. I then go on to discuss several different examples.
• Specific NYU opportunities . I looked up various courses, events, and opportunities offered by different departments and mentioned a couple of them specifically (the Reading Studies program for creative writing, Cantonese classes, studying abroad in China).
• While I did mention a New York City thing (going into Chinatown), it was linked with something that's relatively NYU-specific (the opportunity to study Cantonese as well as Mandarin).

Tips for the Why NYU Essay

To wrap up, we've summarized our top four tips for writing the "Why NYU?" essay.

#1: Look over the descriptions of the different schools/programs. This will help you figure out both which one you want to apply to as well as what makes those schools interesting for you to apply to.

#2: Read through the course catalog and look up professors in departments you're interested in. As the NYU Admission blog states , you don't have to go overboard in stating exactly what course you want to take with what professor at what time, but you should demonstrate that you're aware of what kinds of things you will be able to do and learn while at NYU

#3: Look into whether there are any extracurricular activities or NYU traditions that particularly appeal to you--and explain why they matter specifically to you.

#4: Avoid writing odes to New York City. If there are particular opportunities you're interested in that are only available in New York (e.g. internships at the American Museum of Natural History, research into immigration history at Ellis Island) you can mention it, but don't lean too heavily on the location.

#5: Remember that while you should make it clear why you want to attend NYU with your essay, you don't need to agonize for hours over it. Ultimately, other parts of your application (including your test scores and grades/course rigor, letters of recommendation, and personal statement) are more important factors to your acceptance than your NYU supplement essay is. You just need to show that you've done at least a little research into NYU and why you want to apply there in particular.

And if along the way you find that you don't really have a super good reason that's getting you excited to apply to NYU? It might be worth reconsidering whether or not you should apply there.

What's Next?

Have a bunch more college-specific supplement essays to write? Be sure to check out our overview of the "why this college" essay .

Looking for application tips for other selective schools? Read our complete guides to the University of California system and to the Georgetown application .

Should you apply early or regular decision to college? Find out the pros and cons of early decision in this article . ( And read up on the distinctions between early decision, early action, and the different kinds of each here. )

Laura graduated magna cum laude from Wellesley College with a BA in Music and Psychology, and earned a Master's degree in Composition from the Longy School of Music of Bard College. She scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and GRE and loves advising students on how to excel in high school.

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New York University (NYU) Admissions Essay Examples

Year after year we are inundated with the same question: can we see some college essay examples? Although we do not share our clients’ work in order protect their privacy, we are happy to share some of the successful college essay examples provided by admissions committees across the country. So, without further ado, please find four successful personal statements submitted to NYU below:

Essay 1: Santería

Writer anonymous.

In her cramped kitchen, Titi Nana cracked the egg in the center of the pan, the cheeriness of the bright yellow yolk contrasting the harshness of the caldero. In a flourish, she jerked the bottle of alcohol in her hand, flames erupting from the griddle. She instructed me: “Wipe it all off,” gesturing to dust off my shoulders and arms into the inferno. I laughed nervously as I removed the maldad [evil] from my body, one brush at a time.

I left Titi’s apartment that day confused about how our family’s practice of Santería [witchcraft] fit in with my outward embrace of my heritage. I felt as if the parts of my Latina identity I claimed openly — dancing salsa to Celia Cruz or enjoying lechón y arroz con habichuelas en Navidad — were contradicted by my skepticism towards Titi’s rituals. My experience with Santería wasn’t new, as proven by my mother’s kitchen altar lit dimly by prayer candles and adorned with evil eyes, statues of San Miguel, and offerings to Elegua; however, I’d never before witnessed such a tangible demonstration of my family’s ritualistic beliefs. Although it surrounded me, I refused to believe in the effects of Santería… so I shunned it entirely.

Moving to a predominantly white boarding school and away from the rituals my family had passed down, I avoided addressing the distance I had wedged between myself and my background. I pushed away all things Latina as my fear of failing to honor my Puerto Rican heritage intensified. This distance only grew as my classmates jokingly commented on my inability to speak Spanish and my white- passing complexion, further tearing away bits of my Latinidad with each snide remark.

In an effort to build myself back up, I began to practice the small bits of Santería that I comprehended: lighting candles for good luck, placing a chalice of water by my bedside to absorb all maldad, and saying my prayers to San Miguel and my guardian angels each day. To my disbelief, the comments that attacked my Latinidad, or lack thereof, faded along with the aching feeling that I had failed to represent my heritage. As I embraced the rituals that I initially renounced, I finally realized the power in Titi’s practices. In all of her cleansing and prayer rituals, she was protecting me and our family, opening the doors for us to achieve our goals and overcome the negativity that once held us back. In realizing the potential of Santería, I shifted my practices to actively protecting myself and others against adversity and employed Santería as a solution for the injustice I witnessed in my community.

Santería once served as my scapegoat; I blamed the discomfort I felt towards black magic for the imposter syndrome festering inside me. Until I embraced Santería, it only served as a reminder that I wasn’t Latina enough in the eyes of my peers. Now, I understand that while intangible, ethereal, even, the magic of Santería is real; it’s the strength of my belief in myself, in my culture, and in my commitment to protect others.

Essay 2: Suburban vs Urban Schools

They talked about the past, but never the present. In my suburban schools, they talked about Martin Luther King Jr., and Harriet Tubman, and Rosa Parks, but for some reason, not Malik el-Shabazz. I use his chosen name because that’s probably what he would’ve wanted and because Malcolm X was mentioned in passing. My ancestors had their own struggles with white people, but no generational impact that holds a light to American slavery. My parents come from a land I only know by name and the stories they tell, and whatever I can gather from Google Maps. While I am African, I mentally distanced myself from true African-Americans; I did not deserve pity for the unspeakable horrors, nor praise for their strength and hope in face of them. In my school, there were barely ever any black kids in my class, and no true African-Americans, so I was the sole focus during lessons on Blackness, where they’d look at me, or avoid eye contact. It wasn’t until I transferred to an inner-city high school that I saw the truth. It wasn’t until I went from the blue and glass monsters that rose out of the ground like mountains in my suburban high school, to the small brick building with gated windows in Boston, that I realized there were schools 20 miles away with mostly kids of color. They were not that different from kids in the suburbs, except for their choices.

I moved in with my dad in Boston, transferring to a small school in the city. In three months at my suburban high school, through a rotating schedule in a labyrinth of opportunities, I needed my schedule every day. On my 3rd day at my Boston school, I knew exactly where to go. For the first time, my schedule was given, not created. The gated windows intimidated me on my first day, and I thought the kids would be crazy or “hood”. What I really discovered was a lot more of them looked like me. There were over 200 students at this school, almost entirely students of color, and a majority white staff. There were no real electives and only one language available at the school. I had to go back a year in math because the system wasn’t designed for students ahead in other districts. We didn’t even have a full-time nurse. Students take public transportation, and kids from three different schools had to fit on buses that fit 38 people. Some bus drivers did not care enough to get every student on board. The ones that did broke federal guidelines. For lunch, every student in Boston is qualified for free meals, a fact frequently thrown around like an accomplishment, but in truth, the lunch is worse than prison food. I’ve seen kids search for seconds of this stuff, while students in the suburbs complain about “limited” choices.

So, what’s the difference between inner-city schools and suburban ones? Well, it’s a series of simple decisions, compounded into disastrous circumstances. I’m afraid the real question is, what’s the difference between inner-city kids and suburban ones? The only difference I’ve seen is that most suburban kids look like the founding fathers we learn about in class, and most of the inner-city kids look like the slaves they bought and bruised. My experience at three vastly different high schools has shown me these problems in educational disparity are closer to home than we think, a crucial misstep in correcting the wrongs of this country. These experiences have given me a unique perspective, and a responsibility to act. I’m planning a protest when schools open back up, which isundefined. There are solutions to these problems, but inaction perpetuates. As King once said, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” Almost 70 years after Brown v. Board of Education, equality hasn’t been achieved, so we’ll fight to achieve it.

Essay 3: Friday Night Concerts

During my sophomore year, my dad and I established a Friday after-school ritual. My 90-minute commutes home from school are normally devoted to studying, but Fridays are reserved for listening to music with him. We alternate picking songs: a shared favorite or something new. These long car rides sparked my curiosity in music.

I began reading books about our favorite artists and roaming Spotify for hours, listening to a variety of new songs. My playlist ranged from The Beatles and Queen to Ella Fitzgerald, Debussy, and even Montserrat Caball. Most nights I lie in bed with headphones. Music is not background noise, but an immersive experience. I love to let the melody overtake me, to have the volume so high that I can hear every lyric, every crack and nuance in the singer’s voice.

One night I was listening to Bohemian Rhapsody, completely captivated. I loved how the melody made me feel–thrilled yet distressed. I craved more. I wanted to participate, to obtain what felt like magic. So I hurried downstairs to our home piano — an ancient Costco keyboard missing half the keys. I’d never played before, but was determined to learn the song. I first relied on Youtube videos, and soon progressed to other songs using just my ear. My parents, with enough convincing, agreed to buy me a used piano.

So my dad and I were back in the car. One bleak winter night, we pulled into a gravel driveway, the parking lot of an aging, shack-like store. My dad glanced over at me, raising his eyebrows. “I’ll go in first.”

The door creaked open, revealing a glossy black piano. It stood directly in the center of the room, twinkling,bathing in the blinding ceiling lights. I rushed to the piano, running my hands along the ivories, feeling their weight push against mine–oh the magic of a full set of keys!

It wasn’t long before I released the full potential of my weight, striking the first chord to Bohemian Rhapsody. Rich, smooth notes poured out from the piano, swirling through the air in bursts of color. They rushed through me, lit up my eyes, tugged at my heart, until I was completely consumed in their bright, pulsing waves.

I used to think grades were an estimation of my self-worth; I thought fixating on them would fulfill me, when, really, I was unhappy. Music brings me balance and joy. I love escaping through songs and fully absorbing theartists’ pain or excitement. Playing the piano makes these emotions tangible, and it’s empowering and liberating. It gives me something else to challenge and identify myself with. It gives me another source of fulfillment, one that’s even more rewarding, because I pursue it independently.

I practice for hours every day, perhaps to the annoyance of my family. But I know they’re proud, especially my dad. He’s never one to shower me with compliments, nor belt along behind me at the piano. But I feel his pride when he blurts, “You should learn this song” in the car, or when he prompts me to play at holiday parties, his beaming reflection in the piano’s lacquer.

I’m proud of myself, too. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my love for music or piano. I don’t fancy myself as a concert pianist, nor do I strive to become one. I play for the feeling. I’ll never tire of completing a song,when my heart sings and my eyes start to swim, because every note, every beautiful wash of color, I earned myself.

Essay 4: Three-Headed Monster in ELA Class

I was sitting at my desk in freshman ELA class, as confident as America’s Top Model walking down the runway. It was the end of class and I was excited to see how well I did on the first quiz of the year. My eyes were stalking my teacher as he walked through the aisles, passing back the quizzes. As was the case growing up, I couldn’t wait for my teacher to put my quiz on my desk so I could flip it over for the world to see my A. Finally, the moment arrived. I flipped over the paper, expecting fireworks and confetti to come down when I locked my eyes on my grade. The only problem was that there was no A in sight.

All my life, I’ve felt pressure to achieve the highest grades to honor my mom’s sacrifice. She walked away from everything she knew in the Dominican Republic so that we could immigrate to the United States when I was nine. Her goal was for me to receive a better education and have more opportunities. Getting below an A meant that I wasn’t trying hard enough and that my mom sacrificed in vain. The pressure from my mom was so consuming that my perception of a successful education was entirely defined by grades. My most efficient strategy for earning A’s was memorizing what my teachers taught me and spitting it back out on tests. Since this strategy was so effective, there was no need worrying whether I learned the material or not. I was getting great grades and my mom was pleased, so I was content.

I stared at the C at the top of the quiz like a three-headed monster. My world was crashing down. My first thought, which I quickly dismissed, was that I needed to transfer. However, I’m not the type of person to run from a challenge. I started to rethink how I could engage the course material, rather than simply memorize it. It was clear that my old ways had gone extinct. Instead of cramming, I began studying a week before an exam. Instead of expecting to master a skill when the assessment came, I sought feedback on my progress weeks before the assessment in order to improve. After implementing these new strategies, I not only earned A’s again, but I was able to gain life-long learning skills.

I now have the knowledge and mastery of skills to succeed in college. Now that I recognize the true learning process, I have the power to continue to strive for success. When I took Biology in high school, I was fascinated by being able to develop an in-depth understanding of our bodies and the world around us. Biology allowed me to think critically and to see beyond the surface. Specifically, I enjoyed having the opportunity to apply my knowledge in labs by generating hypotheses and testing them. I’m looking forward to taking advantage of your resources to participate in research and prepare for a career as an anesthesiologist.

I aspire to be an anesthesiologist because I hope to help people ease their fears and pain when going into surgery. I recognize that becoming an anesthesiologist is a difficult task, but thanks to lessons I’ve learned, I’m excited to overcome challenges thrown my way the same way I overcame my struggles in ELA class. Facing that challenge, and discovering the power of learning, helped me grow immensely. Truthfully, there will always be fireworks and confetti in my head at the sight of an A, but I now recognize that the learning is far more lasting than an A.

We hope you’ve found these personal statement examples to be helpful!

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New York University | NYU

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Want to see your chances of admission at New York University | NYU?

We take every aspect of your personal profile into consideration when calculating your admissions chances.

New York University | NYU’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Select-a-prompt short response.

We are looking for peacemakers, changemakers, global citizens, boundary breakers, creatives and innovators - Choose one quote from the following and let us know why it inspires you; or share a short quote and person not on our list who inspires you, and include why.

“We’re used to people telling us there are no solutions, and then creating our own. So we did what we do best. We reached out to each other, and to our allies, and we mobilized across communities to make change, to benefit and include everyone in society.” Judith Heuman, 2022 NYU Commencement Address

“I encourage your discomfort, that you must contribute, that you must make your voice heard. That is the essence of good citizenship." Sherilynn Ifill, 2015 NYU Commencement Address

“If you know how to fly but you never knew how to walk, wouldn’t that be sad?” Lang Lang, 2015 NYU Honorary Degree Recipient

"You have the right to want things and to want things to change." Sanna Marin, Former Prime Minister of Finland, 2023 NYU Commencement Address

"It‘s hard to fight when the fight ain‘t fair.” Taylor Swift, Change, Released 2008, 2022 NYU Commencement Speaker

Share a short quote and person not on this list, and why the quote inspires you.

Common App Personal Essay

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don‘t feel obligated to do so.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you‘ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

NYU Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

The following essay examples were written by authors who were admitted to New York University and are intended to provide examples of successful NYU application essays. All names have been redacted for anonymity. Please note that other CollegeAdvisor.com has shared these essays with admissions officers at NYU in order to deter potential plagiarism.

For more help with your NYU supplemental essays, check out our 2020-2021 New York University Essay Guide ! For more guidance on personal essays and the college application process in general, sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand – Why NYU? (400 word maximum)

I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could run numbers quickly: calculating sales tax, analyzing probabilities, and visualizing complex mathematical models in my head. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I became intrigued with the mathematical representations of economic markets and statistical models, sparking my desire to pursue a career in that field. I set my sights on becoming an actuary since risk management intrigues me and allows me to use my talents in quantitative analysis. However, few schools offer a comprehensive study in that field, which makes Stern the perfect fit for me as the curriculum combines my interests and career goals.

At Stern, I will have the privilege of studying actuarial science, while also obtaining a business degree. The ability to tailor my education with the actuarial science concentration allows me to develop skills in statistical analysis. Through the intense rigor of the concentration requirements STAT-UB 21 “Introduction to Stochastic Processes” and STAT-UB 15 “Statistical Inference and Regression Analysis,” I will be given a stepping stone into quantifying social situations while stimulating my mathematical intrigue through advanced fields like stochastic calculus. I am eager to pursue this course of study to enhance my career development.

The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in today’s rapidly changing world economy. Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.

Why this NYU essay worked: From an ex-admissions officer

This is an extremely compelling essay. It is clear that the student’s declared interests are, in fact, in line with both the student’s background and experiences, as well as in line with what the college has to offer. These essays work best when the reader can feel the student’s conviction and enthusiasm. Admissions officers appreciate when the reader can easily see the impact the student will have on the school community. By going into detail about their passion for business, the student helps the reader clearly visualize how this passion will manifest in the classroom.

Before I began interning for the International Rescue Committee’s refugee youth acclimation program–right in the heart of the Lower East Side–I underwent weeks of training in providing trauma-informed support, reminded repeatedly that these kids have gone through more than I could possibly imagine.

When the kids did show up, however, I could barely relate the image painted for us in training to the bright, bubbly children who I was to mentor. Mahdi and I especially took to each other. He was just like any other nine-year-old kid–a fan of Roblox, pizza, basketball, funny accents, and an acute hatred for anything math-related.

Only, he wasn’t like any other kid–at least not in the eyes of the 49% of Americans who believe he has no place in this country, for no reason other than the color of his skin, his god, the status of his residency here.

There are people here who would hear his name and call him a terrorist. Kids on the playground would mock his accent rather than be amazed at how quickly he picked up basketball–a sport he’d had zero exposure to 6 months back. Adults, on both ends of the ideological spectrum, would see him as a political mascot rather than a kid, allow him to be one–he’d be forced to grow up too soon, as a result of the hatred, having his existence politicized.

To get to my internship every day, I transferred at West 4th, from the A to the M train. Once in a while, I’d take the chance to climb up and walk around Washington Square Park.

Clad in lavender shirts, NYU students were camped out in the center of the park, asking people to write out on little post-its what social justice meant to them. Fire burning in the pit of my stomach, I wrote, “Allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.”

And NYU can help me make that happen–there is groundbreaking research happening on campus regarding racial bias and inequality at CASSR that I can’t wait to contribute to. Pursuing a major of public health policy, I can take fascinating, relevant classes such as Social Policy in Modern Societies and Race and Ethnicity. What’s more, I can join student organizations–like the one handing out the post-its that day in Washington Square–and work with my peers, with NYU, with New York City as a whole, towards social justice from a health perspective, towards allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.

This essay begins with a student who is searching for answers. She has trained to help her community, applied her training to her environment, and then expands on her findings. In her volunteering endeavors, she finds her purpose. She continues with a personal story with Mahdi, and successfully brings us into her world. We are engaged. She is now frustrated because she can’t help enough, and with a bit of karma, she is approached by an NYU student, and at this moment NYU becomes her answer. She then cites why NYU is her solution, which major she will pursue, which classes she will take, and which student organizations will help to accent her goals. This essay succeeds because we see this student as community oriented and ambitious. As readers, we know that she will be a great and focused addition to the campus. This is a student with purpose, and she makes it clear that NYU will propel her to reach her goals.

These essay examples were compiled by the advising team at CollegeAdvisor.com . If you want to get help writing your NYU application essays from CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

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The Admissions Strategist

Why nyu how to write the nyu supplemental essay (examples included).

After much consideration, you’ve decided to apply to NYU. Why NYU? You don’t know where to start. This post will help take you from start to finish.

This past application cycle proved to be historic and selective. While the school admitted the largest number of international students as well as the largest percentage of African-American and Latino students in 16 years, the NYU acceptance rate dropped to 28% , its lowest acceptance rate since 2001.

NYU (short for New York University) is a private university located in the heart of New York City, with satellite campuses found in Abu Dhabi and Shanghai.

• Offering over 230 areas of study and 2,700 courses across 17 schools, NYU ensures that there’s something for every student.

While NYU may not be impossibly difficult to get into, it’s become more selective.

This means you’ll need to spend some extra care and attention on your application, especially on the supplemental essay “Why NYU?”

NYU Essay Requirements

Every freshman applying to NYU will have to write the standard Common App essay. Otherwise known as your personal statement, we created an entire Common App guide so you can write the best essay.

When you’re applying to NYU, you’ll need to write one supplemental essay.

• The supplemental essay has a 400-word limit and requires that you express your interest in NYU as artfully and concisely as possible.

This guide will walk you through the question and tips for crafting your essay to help you put your best foot forward!

So, let’s get to it: Why NYU?

Step 1: Read the question and break it down.

This is an extremely important step! A question like this one, with several parts, requires that you understand and address the entire question in your 400-word response.

Let’s walk through the question breakdown together.

“We would like to know more about your interest in NYU”

Translation : Why do you want to attend NYU? You have thousands of other choices in schools, and you used one of your choices on NYU. Why?

“We are particularly interested in knowing what motivated you to apply to NYU and more specifically, why you have applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and/or area of study.”

This is a meaty one, so let’s break it down into two parts.

“We are particularly interested in knowing what motivated you to apply to NYU…”

Translation: We want to know more about you as an individual.

• What is it about you that makes you think NYU is a good choice?
• Are you a good fit for NYU? If yes, tell us why

“We are particularly interested in knowing….why you have applied or expressed interested in a particular campus, school, college, program and/or area of study.”

Translation:  Why are you interested in what you’re interested in, and why did you apply to the school that has your chosen major?

For example, if you’re interested in acting, tell us why you’re interested in acting and why you’re applying to the Tisch School of the Arts.

“If you have applied to more than one, please tell us why you are interested in each of the campuses, schools, colleges or programs to which you have applied”

Translation : If you have more than one interest and want to pursue more than one major or degree, please tell us why and help us to make sense of your interests.

For example, if you want to study Acting (Tisch School of the Arts) and Computer Engineering (Tandon School of Engineering), we want to know how your interests fit together and why you want to do both.

“You may be focused or undecided, or simply open to the options within NYU’s global network; regardless, we want to understand – Why NYU?”

Translation: You understand that NYU has a global network, right? Tell us why you want to come to our school.

If you are unsure of what exactly you want to study, rejoice!

Click above to watch a video on the NYU Essay.

NYU is saying that you don’t need to have your major all figured out. You just need to have a clearly articulated interest in NYU.

Think about the issues and the questions that interest you.

• Maybe you wonder about the way our dress (fashion) sustains or challenges the way we see world culture (anthropology)?
• Consider, then, how NYU could help you explore anthropological questions about fashion.

Click deeply into NYU’s website to find an avenue – a school, a program, or even a class – that will help you pursue this interest. You don’t need to commit to a career, or even a major, but you do need a good sense of the questions that guide you. Even if you’re uncertain, lean into a vision for your future.

Your supplemental essay isn’t binding, so you can operate in hypotheticals.

• If you’re interested in economics, imagine yourself as a business student.
• What type of business student would you be?
• Would you care about sustainability?
• Would you have other social or ethical concerns?
• What kind of career would this prepare you for?

And, in case you didn’t notice, they highlighted that they have a “global network.” This is important information, and the next step will tell you why.

Get personalized advice!

Step 2: research nyu’s values and special traits..

If you’ve decided to apply to this school, then you’ve likely already done your homework. Just in case you haven’t, study their website.

From studying the website, you can gain a clear sense of the school’s values, what they look for in an applicant, and if you share similar values.

Even if you’re uncertain, pretend that you’ve “fallen in love with the school,” and focus on the particulars of your new infatuation. To extend the metaphor, the application process is a kind of courting in which you make the first move.

• If you’re interested in digital media, research programs like the Brooklyn Experimental Media Center.
• Describe how its resources will convert your interests into an abiding passion or a career orientation.
• A good rule of thumb for “Why This College” essays is that you should have several names (in capital letters) of particular programs at the university.

This research will help you immensely in answering the “Why NYU?” question.

If they have blogs and/or social media accounts, look through those to get a feel for the school. Bonus points if you are able to visit, because an on-campus visit (especially during a regular weekend when they’re not trying to impress you) is the best way to determine what a campus feels like, what their culture is like and what they truly value.

Here’s a great way to research NYU’s values and traits:

• NYU has an online magazine called NYU Q for prospective students. You can find the online magazine by clicking  here . NYU Q showcases the interesting people, places, and things that make NYU special.
• A quick look through the NYU Q site illustrates that NYU as a campus deeply values building a global community with people from diverse backgrounds, geographic locations, academic interests, and life experiences.
• You can find out that NYU boasts of having a higher number of international students than any other campus (their international student population is  20% ). They also have three international campuses and a robust study abroad program.

Additionally, because the question asks you specifically, “Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program and/or area of study,” you owe it to yourself to become familiar with the culture of the particular school or college to which you’re applying, and even the department of the major you’re interested in studying.

It’s important to ensure you aren’t picking NYU for generic traits. Generic traits are dangerous to mention in your essay because they can be applied to any college campus.

Here’s a useful checklist to make sure you are highlighting the special elements of NYU:

• Don’t say NYU is the “perfect” place for you. Perfection is impossible to achieve, and the admissions officers are well aware.
• Instead, pick five elements of NYU (departments, professors, events, on-campus groups) that appeal to you. Picking real names and titles forces you to perform research and stay specific.
• Your “Why NYU?” essay should not be a retelling of your Common App essay. Use this opportunity to pair NYU with your values and personality (covered later in this piece).
• Make sure your essay couldn’t be true of any other school. This demands that you do your research and dive deep into the school’s website.
• Make sure you never write about how you want to attend school in New York City. There are dozens of universities both in and near NYC, so this reason is cliche and tiresome.

Still having trouble? Ask yourself these questions to help you find specific elements of NYU that you find appealing:

• What are classes I’d like to take?
• What are some questions I’d like to ask in these classes?
• Name some on-campus groups and activities that I’d like to participate in.
• What are NYU-sponsored events I’d like to attend?
• Which academic department at NYU do you want to study in? And what are the department’s noteworthy achievements?
• What is my ideal major or double major at NYU?

The admissions officers at NYU want to see that you are well-informed about what they are offering, and that you’ve thought hard enough about whether or not you would be a good fit.

You want to mention, for example, that you’re interested in the Tisch School of the Arts. You also want to go a step further and describe how you’re excited, perhaps, about their internship opportunities and classes on animation.

You can’t determine if you’re a good fit if you haven’t done your research.

Under the Academics tab is a full listing of NYU’s academic programs, schools and colleges, and other academic offerings. Make sure you click through to find your particular school and major.

Step 3: Free-write

The worst thing you can do as you’re writing your response is to agonize over every single word at the beginning of the process.

• Instead, just start writing.
• For each question they ask, write down whatever comes to mind and don’t hold back.
• Use our translation to each question to simplify what you should be writing about.

It’s through answering these questions in an unrestricted flow that patterns can emerge.

Be sure to  write down any memories that come up   – even the bad ones! The refining will come later, but for now, put all the words you can on paper.

They key here is to organize your thoughts. This task seems farcical, but it’s important to perform because “Why NYU?” is such a broad question that countless thoughts will fly through your mind at first read.

• Find stories that embody your personality.
• Record stories that highlight your sense of grit.
• Write stories that personify your wonder and curiosity.

Perform this task three times. You want at least three stories. The more stories, the more options you have.

Step 4: Brainstorming Powerful Essay Ideas

Once again, you never want to write about how much you want to live in New York City. There are plenty of schools that share NYU’s geographic location. Furthermore, there are thousands of students who want to live in a city as diverse, resource-rich, and historic as New York City.

Your goal is to set yourself apart from the rest of the applicants. Your story will help you do this.

Dig deeper.

Write down what you care about. What…

• …makes you happy?
• …makes you angry?
• …bores you to death?
• …are you inspired by?

Don’t hold back here either. Be completely honest with yourself.

In the college admissions process, you may be able to lie to yourself, but it’s hard to lie to the college admissions committee. It’s not worth the risk.

Be honest about what you care about, and it will shine through in your essay. Once you’ve come up with your list, look through your research from Step 2. What does NYU care about? Perhaps, you’ve learned that they care about the arts, curiosity, intercultural exchange, and open-mindedness.

• … care about the arts? Are you curious?
• …enjoy learning from and learning with people from cultural backgrounds different from yours?
• …consider yourself to be open-minded?

Why, or why not? Once again, the key here is to be honest.

Dig deeper. Explore your values, memories, interests, and hobbies.

• Is there a setback you’ve learned from? Is there a challenge burned into your memory?
• What issues are you passionate about?
• What are you endlessly curious about? Do you love reading about a particular subject?
• What talents do you want to offer the world? Is there a specific reason you want to share your gift with the world?
• What drives you? Deep down, is there something that makes your blood flow and brain click?
• Are there special items in your house that hold sentimental value to you?

All told, think about anecdotes: What stories from your life have inspired your interests and passions. Think about lessons learned, personal themes, and the challenges and setbacks that made you who you are today.

Students often say that their anecdotes aren’t interesting. That’s fine!

What matters is how you explain them within the context of your experiences. That means you should be honest and specific about your experiences. Authenticity goes a long way for the Why NYU essay.

Step 5: Picking an Effective Essay Premise

Look over your free-write responses, and pick up particularly interesting memories that are related to your values and tell a story.

Almost everyone likes a good story.

• Review your free-writing document. Find memories that highlight an important aspect of your personality or values.
• Find a common thread between each of your stories and one or two values per story.
• Match one of NYU’s values or special traits with each story.
• Structure your essay around these three parts.

College admissions officers have to read hundreds of applications a day, and the ones that stand out are the ones written in the form of a good story.

The good news is that you don’t have to be J. K. Rowling or John Green.  The best stories are authentic  (that means they are true to who you are), descriptive (you help the reader experience your experience with their own senses), and clear (the reader understands exactly what you’re trying to say).

Talk about your experience, how that relates to your values and NYU’s values, and, most importantly, how your experience has impacted your choice of NYU as a potential college.

It’s likely your “Why NYU?” essay will flow as such:

• This is a story that highlights an important aspect of who I am.
• This value connects to the story.
• It just so happens this value connects with NYU’s special value.
• And that’s why I’m a great fit.

Remember the million-dollar question: Why NYU?

And then rethink the question: Why am I a good fit for NYU?

Why NYU Essay Example Outline

Here’s an excellent outline of a Why NYU essay. Before reading the outline, keep in mind that you have many options for crafting this essay.

What counts is telling an effective story.

• As such, one way to tell an effective story is to start your essay with an anecdote.

Your anecdote can begin with one of the following:

• A quote from someone that helps you preface your story
• Cold hook: Something almost random that captures the reader’s attention
• Bold statement: A statement that your story will support with details
• Obvious statement: A line that makes the reader say, “Yes, of course. Why would you say something that obvious?” This is the segue to the next part of your essay.

Once you add your anecdote, frame it with details immediately. You have 400 words to work with, so get right into your essay. Your anecdote should comprise 10-15% of your essay.

Once you get into your essay, explain the actions you took to pursue an interest. This should comprise 30-40% of your essay.

• What are you interested in?
• Describe the action steps you took to further your passion and take initiative.

Then, spend the rest of your essay discussing the resources at NYU that will help you accomplish your goals and sharpen your skill set. You can mention examples of the following:

• Fellowships
• Internships
• Professors and their classes
• On-campus groups
• Study-abroad programs
• New academic initiatives
• Externships

Without further delay, here’s what a good Why NYU essay would look like:

• You grew up in a lower-income household and can recall a conversation with your sibling about how your family couldn’t afford health insurance.
• Disappointed in our country’s health care options, you were inspired to volunteer in clinics, where you learned more about bloat and inefficient business processes within insurance companies. This adds to costs for would-be consumers like your family.
• You shadowed a doctor during your junior year in high school to learn about technologies that could be provided at scale for low-income citizens.
• This is why you want to study at NYU Stern: to engage in NYU-sponsored internships both in the city and abroad that will help you learn more about healthcare technology at scale.
• You then want to establish a startup with the help of a specific professor, who will advise you with raising capital, hiring talent , and pivoting when necessary.

Step 6: Get Critiques & Make Revisions

An English teacher, your favorite teacher (which may or may not be your English teacher), and a friend who is always honest are great choices for additional readers.

A great English teacher knows the mechanics of the English language very well and will be honest with you about how your essay looks and sounds.

• Bad punctuation is a death knell, and awkward words and phrases could move your essay from the “wow we’ve got to take him/her” pile to the “snooze/meh” pile.

Pick an English teacher with whom you have a good/neutral relationship, and approach them with the utmost respect and humility.

• Remember, they don’t have to read your essay. They’re doing you a favor.
• Ask them to mark it up for you, if they have time, and to give their honest thoughts and opinions.
• If they really like you, they may do this several times. After the process is said and done, be sure to send them a thank you card.

Your favorite teacher may not be your English teacher, but they’re just as valuable because they usually have a really good sense of your likes, dislikes, as well as your authenticity. In other words, they can tell if you’re lying or trying to be something you’re not.

You need someone who knows you well and can tell you if you’re being honest in your essay. Your favorite teacher may also be able to remind you of things about yourself that you’ve forgotten.

• Let’s face it, when you’re taking 6-8 classes a quarter among all of your other responsibilities, you might lose a memory or two.
• A friend who is always honest with you is infinitely better than a friend who just wants you to be happy/flattered.

Pick a friend who isn’t afraid to tell you that your writing is terrible, or that you could have worded things a little better.

You need as much constructive criticism as possible while crafting a college essay that is authentic and compelling.

Step 7: Final read-throughs

If possible, do your final readings at least 24-48 hours after your last revision , in order to give your brain a break.

Make sure to read your essays out loud, just in case you have a typo in there that you and your other readers missed.

Two final read-throughs should be sufficient for assurance sake, but any more than that, and you could end up making yourself a bit anxious.

Trust yourself and trust the process. When you’re done, let go and submit.

Why NYU Essay Examples

We’ve provided some examples of Why NYU essays. Please remember to never plagiarize – we take this quite seriously.

These Why NYU essay examples are here to provide you with a visual on what a good essay looks like. Your essay should look different.

A version of Why NYU by a student:

Se-mi-llas de Es-pe-ran-za y A-mor. These were the words written on the school wall I visited as a member of The Hillsdale Effect an organization that fundraises microloans for businesswomen. Seeds of Love and Hope. During my six days in Guatemala, I had the opportunity to speak with students, teachers, and businesswomen about the struggles they face every day. My journey in Central America not only shaped my college and career goals, but they have also guided the direction in which I want to use my skills. Semillas de Esperanza y Amor is a school that brings in street children and offers them a free education. I asked one student, a young girl, about her aspirations. To my greatest surprise, she wanted to study at Guatemala’s only public university to become a doctor and return to her village to help her community. Afterward, a teacher explained that despite the students’ aspirations, a college education would be financially out of reach for their parents. This was a call to action. Later, I spoke to a local organizational director, who described an application they had tried to develop that would allow the businesswomen they serve to connect with business educators. Unfortunately, due to the lack of a strong Internet connection in some regions and the overall complexity of the user experience, the application failed. It was abandoned by all the local directors, who no longer saw it as a beneficial endeavor. To me, this seemed like a lost opportunity. If done right, the application could radically simplify communication and make the loaning process more effective. Which would then allow more women to participate in the program to empower themselves, transform their businesses, and help their children get an education. I want to dedicate my education to building technology that makes a social impact. My passion for international affairs has allowed me to help people in a drastically different community than my own. And by pursuing a computer science education at NYU while also participating in one of the multitude of study abroad programs offered, I know I will be able to develop the technical and global skills that will allow me to construct technology that will break the cycle of poverty, allowing little girls like the one I met to make their dreams come true.

Here’s another example of the Why NYU essay from the same student:

“Comienzo! Alto!” As the young students and I kicked the soccer ball back and forth on the Guatemalan field, I peered toward their village, San Mateo Miltas Alpas, and envisioned change. Change to improve infrastructure and help the businesswomen of their community. This is why I want to study computer science at NYU. In high school, I have been a leading member in The Hillsdale Effect, an organization that fundraises microloans for businesswomen in Guatemala. Our goal is to empower women entrepreneurs in hopes of breaking the cycle of poverty. I was given the opportunity to travel to Guatemala on a study tour and meet the individuals we were helping. When visiting a local headquarters in Antigua, the director explained how microloans are processed through their office: Business educators working for the organization contact their users. The educators then utilize a smartphone application to simplify the rest of the communication process between the businesswomen and educators. Unfortunately, due to the lack of a strong Internet connection in some regions and overall complexity of the user experience, the application failed. It was abandoned by all the local directors, who no longer saw it as a beneficial endeavor. I quickly realized I wanted to construct my own application that would connect the educators with the users. Of course, my application would need minimal service, and its simpler interface would be accessible from anywhere in the country. By utilizing images and multiple audio explanations, the language barrier could be broken, allowing individuals of any age or background to use the application. My goal is to integrate the solutions to these problems into a new application. After studying computer science at NYU, I want to apply my learned skills to build the Internet infrastructure of villages around the world. Furthermore, I want to partake in one of the multitude of study abroad programs offered so I can again travel to developing countries and learn more about the various benefits technology can provide in addressing infrastructure needs. This past year, we broke our school fundraising record, earning over $8,000 in two weeks for the businesswomen of Guatemala. As I look forward to the conclusion of high school, I know I can do more by learning at NYU. As my coding skills improve, I want to use them to go back abroad and do my part to build communities, like San Mateo Miltas Alpas.

From a student who wants to go to NYU to study public health:

As a Lacinda First Aid Team leader, I applied my interest in public health within my school community. During weekly shifts, I supported the nurse by patrolling the fitness center and common areas for ill students. After initiating partnerships with other school clubs, my team and I organized informational health fairs and visits from physicians, pharmacists, physical therapists, and surgeons. I trained noncertified members and supplied bandages, heating pads, and antiseptic swabs to injured students. My training culminated during competitions, where I treated patients in unconscious victim, heart attack, stroke, and choking simulations. NYU’s College of Public Health provides students with opportunities to blend academic rigour with clinical experience, just as I delved into my zeal for helping others as a member of the First Aid Team. As a global public health major, I would complete an Experiential Learning course where I would step out of the classroom using a tactile approach. Then, I would take Health and Societies in a Global Context to learn how factors such as age, gender, culture, and race impact health on a global scale. I could take this knowledge to engage in team-based learning, where I would address the severity of mental illness on NYU’s campus. Learning to tackle problems as a team is a vital skill, especially when working closely with public health organizations. A project that captivates me is the Applied Global Public Health Initiative led by Dr. Chris Dickey. As a future program member, my goal is to discover improvements for the universal health coverage policy of the World Health Organization and the development of online public health programs. Under Dr. Dickey’s tutelage, I would apply my newfound knowledge to create an interactive fellowship experience that promotes collaboration with experienced NYU professionals while tackling issues that impact vulnerable communities. This work would create tools that better manage health accessibility to all. One day, I would like to become involved with Doctors Without Borders. NYU gives me the optimal resources combined with engaging experiences to work toward my goal. I believe a person’s health is the fundamental pillar of stability and sustainability; thus, I want to dedicate my time to improving both on a global scale. I aim to work in developing countries to spread the knowledge I acquire through internship opportunities, projects, and stimulating curriculum. NYU offers an immersive academic experience while supporting its students through personal growth and innovation.

Written by another student who wants to study health:

A year ago, my grandmother was a fiery, sharp-witted woman. Since then, a progressive neurodegenerative disease called Lewy body dementia (LBD) has caused her to deteriorate rapidly. Due to medical complications and worsening of symptoms, she has been forced to transition in and out of residential, rehabilitative, and hospital facilities, resulting in a constant battle to adjust to new environments. Witnessing my grandmother’s downward spiral has opened my eyes to the inadequacies of our healthcare system, fueling me to seek solutions.  At NYU, I will make progress towards an LBD cure by studying neural science and develop evidence-based policies to improve dementia patients’ lives through my public policy studies. This double major will allow me to absorb the scientific understanding necessary to create effective legislation, as will embarking on a health policy summer internship in Washington, D.C. where I can network while fusing my scientific and policy interests . The unique neural science major at NYU will fulfill my fascination with the brain’s function, while providing a strong natural science foundation. I am enthusiastic about elective courses, like Learning and Memory , w here I can examine memory formation and the pathophysiology of dementia. It will be thrilling to apply my classroom-based knowledge during a summer research project at the Center for Neural Science, ideally working alongside a faculty member to develop my own LBD-focused research project. With the Alzheimer’s Disease Center located on campus, I can frequently attend special events like the Alzheimer’s Disease Lunch and Learn series, supplementing my studies with current brain research and furthering my journey towards my desired career.  While neural science will develop my understanding of LBD, public policy will teach me the skill of employing legislation to solve issues that face dementia patients. I am eager to immerse myself in five health policy electives, in addition to classes such as Medical Ethics , where I can engage with peers that are passionate about patient rights. The Senior Seminar experience will allow me to utilize knowledge from both of my majors, honing in on a pressing policy issue facing dementia patients today.  Neither in life nor in academics have I stayed within a confined box. NYU’s liberal arts education promotes exploration, making it the perfect place for me to pursue my bursting passions. 

Final Why NYU essay example:

As a Macona First Aid Team leader, I applied my interest in public health within my school community. During weekly shifts, I supported the nurse by patrolling the fitness center and common areas for ill students. After initiating partnerships with other school clubs, my team and I organized informational health fairs and visits from physicians, pharmacists, physical therapists, and surgeons. I trained noncertified members and supplied bandages, heating pads, and antiseptic swabs to injured students. My training culminated during competitions, where I treated patients in unconscious victim, heart attack, stroke, and choking simulations. NYU’s College of Public Health provides students with opportunities to blend academic rigour with clinical experience, just as I delved into my zeal for helping others as a member of the First Aid Team. As a global public health major, I would complete an Experiential Learning course where I would step out of the classroom using a tactile approach. Then, I would take Health and Societies in a Global Context to learn how factors such as age, gender, culture, and race impact health on a global scale. I could take this knowledge to engage in team-based learning, where I would address the severity of mental illness on NYU’s campus. Learning to tackle problems as a team is a vital skill, especially when working closely with public health organizations. A project that captivates me is the Applied Global Public Health Initiative led by Dr. Chris Dickey. As a future program member, my goal is to discover improvements for the universal health coverage policy of the World Health Organization and the development of online public health programs. Under Dr. Dickey’s tutelage, I would apply my newfound knowledge to create an interactive fellowship experience that promotes collaboration with experienced NYU professionals while tackling issues that impact vulnerable communities. This work would create tools that better manage health accessibility to all. One day, I would like to become involved with Doctors Without Borders. NYU gives me the optimal resources combined with engaging experiences to work toward my goal. I believe a person’s health is the fundamental pillar of stability and sustainability; thus, I want to dedicate my time to improving both on a global scale. I aim to work in developing countries to spread the knowledge I acquire through internship opportunities, projects, and stimulating curriculum. NYU offers an immersive academic experience while supporting its students through personal growth and innovation.

Conclusion: Why NYU?

You did it! You made it through all 7 steps.

By now, you understand the importance of breaking down the essay questions and putting them in your own words, researching the school, reflecting on your own values, and finding places of commonality between your values and the school’s.

In order to get to your story, you need to let yourself write without restriction. In addition, you know the importance of crafting a coherent narrative and having several people read through your work.

Hopefully, you have written a superb essay in response to NYU’s question.

Remember that you are more than enough, and all the support you need is out there if you would look for it.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact us. We wish you all the best on your applications!

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See the Essay That Helped This Student Get into NYU

Roberto Vivancos/Pexels

As part of College Confidential's essay series, we're sharing personal essays from students who were admitted to college during a prior admissions cycle. The student who wrote this as his essay was accepted to New York University, and we are sharing it with his permission.

"It's a mammoth tusk," my friend said.

I held up the item that I'd just dug out of the ground and examined it against the light. It was only a few inches long, beige in color, and hard as a rock. "Mammoth tusks would be huge," I told him, stuffing it into my pocket to examine later.

When I got home that day, I set the item on a shelf in my room where I stored all of my artifacts. Even then, in second grade, I had at least 25 different things in my collection. Some of them were simple to identify: A marble, a plastic comb, some fake coins from Chuck E. Cheese. But all of them were mine – dug from the ground in the woods around my neighborhood and cleaned off by me for later inspection.

My tools weren't fancy. I had a small metal garden shovel that my parents no longer needed, an old paintbrush, and a metal tool that I assumed was a stainless steel chopstick (found previously in the dirt at a playground). My method was pretty simple: Use the shovel to dig a hole, and if it hit anything, I'd use the chopstick to pry it out. After that, I'd dust it off with the paintbrush and take it home.

My best finds were the things I couldn't identify. Did I dig up a piece of an old parachute? Or was it just someone's sock that fell out of a backpack during a hike? Is someone looking for this item, or was it purposely discarded? I would go over these unidentifiable objects repeatedly, touching and polishing them to try and get their history to flow into my body. Sometimes I'd have a dream where I definitively diagnosed my items. I'd wake up and say "Oh that's right, the rusted metal I found on Tuesday wasn't an old beer can – it was discarded war ammunition." Then I'd realize that this insight came from my dream, not from real life, and I'd be back to square one.

My hobby continued for years, and eventually my grandparents bought me a metal detector. I took it out on a dig in sixth grade, eager to bring up a tub filled with gold and silver coins, but the only things I detected with it were a belt buckle and an old crucifix pendant, which my brother assured me was cursed, so I put it back where I'd found it.

Even though those were decent finds, I felt like the metal detector was taking part of the fun out of my digs. After a few weeks, I put it in the garage and grabbed my previous tool bag. Armed with my shovel and other materials, I could once again dig holes throughout the woods, with or without my friends, and make discoveries.

My collection of archeological items is smaller now. When we moved, I had to part with a few things, but I was sure to keep the ones I couldn't identify. Into the trash went the marbles and belt buckles. Onto the shelf in my new house went the tusk, the parachute, the ammunition and other items that had been ambiguously ID'd by me.

Last year, while cutting through the woods to my friend's house, I lost a soapstone keychain. I looked for days, but never located it. Sometimes I wonder if a second grader out digging may have found it.

"Is it a tusk?" he asked his friend.

Then, in my dream, he proudly put it on a shelf to fuel his own sense of wonder, never knowing who left it there or why, only to create his own stories about it.

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'The secret to my success': A college student shares the essay that got her accepted to top-rated New York University

• Personal essays are a crucial part of college admissions and are often one of the best ways students can stand out in a crowded applicant field where acceptance is increasingly dictated by numbers and test scores. 
• No two essays are the same, and it can be difficult to determine what specific colleges and universities want out of their essays.
• To shed some light on this process, Insider is reaching out to students all around the world and asking them share the essay that got them into college.
• This week, Insider spoke to a junior at New York University who shared her success story. 
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

The dreaded college essay. For many high school seniors, those few hundred words can manifest into an unyielding sense of existential, unwavering angst. They might seem daunting, but these few paragraphs often present one of the best opportunities for students to write honestly and express themselves in a college application process dominated by standardized tests, high school transcripts, and other numbers first metrics. 

Knowing what to write about, or how to write it, can be challenging. Luckily, millions of other students have already gone through the process. To shed some much-needed light on what types of essays work for which schools, Insider is reaching out to students from all around the world and publishing the essays that got them into their dream schools. The first school on our list: New York University.

NYU had over 75,000 applicants last year. Only 16% were accepted. 

New York University's main campus is located in the heart of downtown Manhattan and has a total student body of just over 60,000. 

But just because there are lots of students doesn't mean its acceptance rates are high.  NYU's acceptance rate for the class of 2023 dropped drown to 16 percent , the lowest admissions rate in the school's history. The school received over 75,000 applications last year but says it still manages to review each one individually. 

Students applying to NYU will have to complete the common app, submit test scores ( or other approved documents ) and complete a supplemental essay question. Here's the essay question NYU class of 2021 student Vanessa Ting was asked:

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. We are particularly interested in knowing what motivated you to apply to NYU and more specifically, why you have applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and/or area of study?  If you have applied to more than one, please tell us why you are interested in each of the campuses, schools, colleges, or programs to which you have applied. You may be focused or undecided, or simply open to the options within NYU's global network; regardless, we want to understand - Why NYU? (400 word maximum)  

While there's no one size fits all approach to any essay questions, and the specific questions change from year to year, NYU's essay tends to favor students who weave personal narratives into a short but compelling story that explains their path to finally deciding on NYU. 

Related stories

Tang's essay starts with a fun, personal anecdote and uses the following 450 words to fluidly incorporate her past work. She's comprehensive without simultaneously sounding like a boring resume. Scroll down below to read Vanessa's essay from start to finish. 

As a nine-year-old clutching a crispy chicken taco, I proclaimed that NYU was the school for me. After all, the myriad of dining options were unparalleled by any other college I had visited with my sister. I had already carefully examined each school according to my own food standards, and NYU was perfect!

Seven years later, as I returned to NYU to inquire about its intellectual opportunities, student community, and overall experience, I was again strikingly impressed. I realized that NYU's academic and cultural life was even more vibrant than the colorful food trucks dotting each corner.

One year later, it is 8:00 a.m. I attend a seminar of the Stern Cohort Leadership Program. I look forward to using my problem-solving skills to propose solutions to community issues, skills that I have learned through my Better World Collective internship to creatively engage the business community. Most importantly, I'm looking forward to diving into one of the many innovative learning experiences Stern offers.

I leave the session as I stride to MGMT-UB. I'm looking forward to extending my experience with business growth and analysis in Professor Schaumberg's class, experience I developed when I directed Launchpad by FBLA and helped over 30 student entrepreneurs thrive. I am prepared to analyze an organization's strategic challenges and propose a solution in the final project, and I'm ready to learn the leadership techniques to do so. Whatever the task may be, I have a passion for developing the businesses of tomorrow, and I am glad I can continue that passion at Stern.

I enjoy the afternoon with my cohort, my community. Perhaps we'll enjoy a CACE event, or participate in Stern Spirit Week by pieing our club president. Whatever it may be, I know I'll enjoy it with my friends, at the school I call home.

Today, I hope to pursue a career in management.  So why Stern? The cultural hub and diversity at Stern will help me be an empathetic manager who can work with employees of all backgrounds. Through the innovative academics, collaborative community, and interdisciplinary nature, I'll be ready to forge any managerial career I choose.

Today, I am still 17 years old and still in high school, but I can well imagine the possibilities Stern offers. And – I am still hungry, hungry for that crispy chicken taco, and hungry for the unique experience only NYU can provide.

Did your college essay help you snag a spot at your dream school? If so, we'd love to hear about it. Email this reporter at mdegeurin@businessinsider to discuss sharing your story. 

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3 Strong NYU Diversity Essay Examples

New York University (NYU) is an extremely selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays that help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share some essays real students have submitted for NYU’s Diversity prompt and outline their strengths and areas of improvement. 

(Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved.)

Note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be beneficial to get inspiration for your essays, but you should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarize. 

Read our NYU essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

NYU Diversity Prompt

The following essays respond to this prompt:

NYU was founded on the belief that a student’s identity should not dictate the ability for them to access higher education. That sense of opportunity for all students, of all backgrounds, remains a part of who we are today and a critical part of what makes us a world class university. Our community embraces diversity, in all its forms, as a cornerstone of the NYU experience. We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community. Please respond in 250 words or less.

This is the classic Diversity Essay , which asks students to share what makes them unique. While diversity is most commonly associated with ethnicity, culture, and identity, keep in mind that it also encompasses:

• Interests, hobbies, and talents
• Perspectives, values, and opinions
• Experiences
• Personality traits

With that, let’s dive into the student examples!

Example 1 – Life as an Indian-Muslim

Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim, I am constantly reminded of my minority status. As a child, the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India; the secluded family farm welcomed me with the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort. However, as governments changed and the anti-Muslim sentiment in India grew, an insecurity in my identity began to form. Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country which once felt like home. Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression. 

Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU. It is imperative that I not only raise a voice of representation for the miniscule percentage of Indian-Muslim students, but also give the larger NYU community unbiased reporting on Muslim concerns. Being a voice for Muslims in the media is essential to combating Islamophobia, especially since 9/11, as media propaganda has instilled a deadly bias against Muslims.

At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own.

What the Essay Did Well

This student does a great job of answering this NYU-specific Diversity Prompt , specifically through their clear, engaging structure.

The prompt is two-pronged. Students must describe:

1) their diverse background or experience, and 

2) how their diverse background or experience will improve the community at NYU. 

In this essay, the student answers the first question in their first paragraph and the second question in their second paragraph. They connect the paragraphs with a strong transition sentence that takes us from their past experiences to the future experiences they hope to have at NYU: “Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

On a smaller scale, the first paragraph is structured by a beautiful narrative arc. This student struggled with cultural expression growing up, so they enjoyed traveling back to India where they felt comfortable, but then Indian political activity made India less comfortable, and ultimately they turned to writing, rather than a place, as their preferred form of cultural expression. Their story is easy to follow, yet detailed, with compelling lines like “the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort” ensuring the reader doesn’t lose focus.

In addition to providing an engaging essay scaffolding, this student does a great job of making themself seem engaging by sharing their thoughts on the Indian-Muslim experience. Their reflections on the Indian government’s views on Islam, and the relationship between media, 9/11, and Islamophobia are brief by necessity, but nonetheless show this student has strong critical thinking skills, and would have a lot to teach their peers at NYU. 

Finally, the student explains in concrete terms why they would be a valuable addition to the NYU community. In the sentence “Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU,” they both subtly reference their past accomplishments and paint a picture of how they’ll use NYU’s resources to continue building on those achievements. 

What Could Be Improved 

While this essay is both personal and compelling, there are two changes the student could make to take their writing to the next level.

Firstly, the student’s topic is emotional, but they don’t express much emotion in their writing. For example, they write “the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India,” but we are left wondering what “this feeling” was.

Some small adjustments could help readers better understand the student’s emotions. For example, they could change their first sentence to “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been painful, which has made me feel conflicted about my minority status” or “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been isolating, which has made me resent my minority status.”

Additionally, as they write about the effect of the anti-Muslim attacks in India on their cultural identity, they could add a sentence describing their emotions. For example:

“Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country that once felt like home. At the same time, the country that is my home has always been fond of profiling my family as terrorists, when they are the ones who force us to live in constant fear. Living in a world that never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

Secondly, because the student does such a great job of responding to the prompt in their first two paragraphs, the concluding sentence “At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own” is unnecessary. We are already convinced that they will expand the NYU community. Instead, these words can be reallocated to adding sentences with emotional valence.

Example 2 – Santa’s Not Real!

When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. However, every Christmas, I would feel isolated from my Christian friends. Annually, I was told how terrible it was that I didn’t celebrate.

For a while, I felt terrible too, and the isolation only persisted as I got older. At thirteen, I began fasting for Yom Kippur, so I would miss that day of school. However, my teachers would always manage to schedule a test that I would be forced to miss. This was infuriating. But, in the heat of my anger, I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own.

This realization made me value the importance of celebrating cultural diversity. No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.

This essay does a great job of drawing us in with its first sentence. To most American readers, the sentence “When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real” is intriguing. Finding out that Santa isn’t real is a universal experience that binds most of us, so we want to know why this student was told at such a young age. 

Another strength of this essay is the student’s charming use of language. For example, the student cleverly describes Santa: “my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents.” Similarly, the sentence “The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands” is funny.

Lastly, this student does a good job of pointing out their identity. While admissions officers have access to the name of this student’s high school, without being specifically reminded that the student grew up Jewish in the South, they likely would not have put that together. The sentence “My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people” brings attention to this student’s complex identity.

The main issue with this essay is that it does not flow. This is attributable to a lack of structure.

The student begins with the Santa anecdote, which is explored for four sentences (more than a “hook” normally gets), but oddly, does not turn into the focus of the essay. Instead, the student abruptly moves to discuss other experiences when they felt isolated due to being Jewish. For this anecdote to be effective, the student needs to do one of two things: focus it or connect it. 

With the “focus it” method, the student would finish the Santa anecdote, then use the rest of the essay to reflect on how the anecdote shows their values or approach to diversity. This could look like:

“When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. Unfortunately, my pre-K self was chatty and didn’t understand that the Santa secret would hurt my friends if I told them, and I ended up telling Natalia Huckabee. Natalia’s mom called my mom and explained the importance of us respecting each other’s differences and my mom was mortified. 

Since then, it has been very important to me that I respect the beliefs of people around me and that they respect my Jewish identity… “

For the “connect it” method, the student would shorten their Santa anecdote, connect it to other anecdotes about feeling isolated, then reflect on how that isolation affects their worldview. This would look like:

“My Jewish parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. Actually, at the ripe age of four, they sat me down and told me that Santa wasn’t real. In that same sitting, they gave me very specific instructions: I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. I just had to say that Santa didn’t visit Jews. 

Each year, I was told a million times how terrible it was that I didn’t get presents from Santa. Each year, I missed four to seven tests for Jewish holidays. Each year, I… “

Either way, the anecdote should be followed by reflection. Currently, this student’s introspective musings feel surface-level and are not compelling. They include “For a while, I felt terrible too” and “This was infuriating.” 

Similarly, the conclusions they draw about the importance of diversity lack nuance and do not show a capacity for deep thought. These include “I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own” and “No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.” 

Dedicating a few sentences specifically to deep reflection would allow the student to explore their identity with more authenticity and would help admissions officers get to know them.

Lastly, this student completely fails to answer a core element of this prompt: “ We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community.” The student does not say anything about NYU, the NYU community, or how they will contribute to the NYU community.

For any Diversity Essay , it is extremely important to write about how your diversity shapes your outlook and actions. Specifically with this prompt, the student should forecast how their diversity would play out at NYU. They could describe their plans to start a club, participate in a specific research initiative, or get involved with activism. 

Example 3 – Doc McStuffins

“The Doc is in, and she’ll fix you up!”   

Why was it okay for McStuffins to be both black and intelligent in her world, but it was so rare in mine? Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class. At least until I discovered my true passion — Biology.  

While my teachers discouraged me from STEM, my ever-curious mind gravitated towards it, yearning to learn more. I memorized each detail of what I was given, grinning as I recited cell systems and organelles. I now hold an internship investigating DNA editing technology (CRISPR), working to alter DNA of ailments through laboratory work and qualitative analysis. Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science.

Diversity in science is incredibly significant, but how can there be diversity if non-conventional scientists are discouraged? NYU values the importance of diversity, making it the school for me. At NYU I will join Blackademics and, I will form a podcast for women of color to talk about their experiences with commonly faced educational setbacks. As someone encouraged by seeing representation, I deeply understand the excitement that seeing someone like you doing “atypical” things can bring. Through NYU courses like Intergroup Dialogue, I will hold a similar influence that Doc McStuffins had on me towards others. 

This is an example of a hook-done-right. The essay starts with a quote from the Doc McStuffins theme song, which (whether you’re familiar with Doc McStuffins or not) reads as sweet and endearing. Then, she uses a provocative question to connect the quote to her own experiences, which serves as a transition to the bulk of the essay, which is about her experiences.

This student centers her essay around a specific theme: representation. A common error in college essay writing is the failure to stay focused, but she successfully uses her theme to anchor her essay. Her hook is about representation , her setbacks are about representation , and she wants to get involved in specific NYU activities to improve representation . 

Lastly, and extremely importantly, this student thoroughly answers the prompt. She is asked how her diverse experiences will improve the NYU community, and she explains how her experience growing up as a young, Black woman — interested in STEM but shut out from STEM — will motivate her to work towards equal representation at NYU.

This student’s main area for improvement has to do with her integration of the Doc McStuffins hook. Simply put, Doc McStuffins is referenced too much in her later paragraphs. With a limited word count, every sentence is a resource, and the majority of sentences should go toward a student’s values and personality.

Here, we would suggest that “Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science” be replaced with a sentence describing the student’s emotions about her success in STEM. Throughlines are great, but connecting every paragraph back to your hook is repetitive.

Additionally, the aforementioned sentence is not easily digestible. Unless your reader is extremely familiar with Doc McStuffins, it will probably take them a minute to figure out who the 7-year-old girl is and what jam blood has to do with anything. This same issue presents itself in the sentence “Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class,” which is hard to understand.

Read through your essay to ensure that all of your sentences make sense, no matter the knowledge level of the person reading. Run your essay by friends and family, and specifically ask them to flag areas that they think might be confusing.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay 

Want feedback on your NYU diversity essay before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Other NYU Essay Resources

• 4 Great “Why NYU?” Essays
• How to Write the “Why NYU?” Essay
• How to Write the MLK Scholars Program Essay 

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

• Campus Culture
• High School
• Top Schools

5 Unique Essay Introductions from NYU Admissions Essays

• college application essays

As the excitement from the acceptances of last application cycle settles, the anxiety and eagerness of the next class of applicants begins to rise. Rising seniors are increasingly interested to find out what colleges and universities are out there, and what they want to pursue in higher education. For those who want to attend a city school, New York University will, without a doubt, be a consideration. With 6,000 students in each class and the endless opportunities that New York City has to offer, NYU is one of the most attractive universities out there. Take a look at the following  essay intros  from NYU students on AdmitSee:

Class of 2019

What can I offer NYU? One of NYU’s prominent features is its active involvement in underprivileged areas. So why should a “forprofit” ideal contradict the concept of helping the poor? As a future freshman here, I will combine NYU’s culture of community service and its strong business background to fuel our students’ entrepreneurial endeavors. View full profile .

Class of 2020

I stared at my polished railing as the photons danced in the humid air allowing me to perceive reality. I could taste salt water in my crimson lips as I stared into what I thought was oblivion. I snapped out of my depressive trance and wiped away my tears. I couldn’t be weak, not now. Moving back to Bangladesh was, in the eyes of a 12 year old, a curse. Keep reading . 

I waited patiently outside of the men’s bathroom.  My 6-year-old brother insisted on venturing in by himself.  Reluctantly, I left him go, but I was worried.  In reality, only five minutes had passed, but to me, it seemed like an eternity.   Five minutes turned to six, and my heart sank as I heard him screaming frantically from within.  My fears had been realized; my brother was in trouble again.  Without hesitation, I rushed into the bathroom to find my brother crying at the top of his lungs. Continue reading . 

Ngozirebecca

Memories of exciting battles like these are safely snuggled away in the pages of some of my most beloved books, and in their fantastic, otherworldly settings I have become the confident girl I am today. When I was younger, I seriously struggled with self-acceptance. Watching movies like Mean Girls or The Breakfast Club, I could never pick out people who looked like me. Leading ladies were gorgeous and delicate, not tall and awkward with afros that struck fear into the hearts of passersby. Insecure, I skulked into high school, the proverbial black sheep amongst ravenous coyotes and mama bears. See full profile . 

ShaneNYUStern

This was all very different to me. It wasn’t the fact that I was on a plane. I had flown many times before. It wasn’t the fact that I was flying to Europe. I had done that two years ago when my family returned to Moscow with my adopted sister. This time, it had to do with me. I was sitting next to an old English man with ruddy skin that glared my direction every time the cabin jostled and I accidentally bumped him. I was flying by myself to go somewhere I had never been before. I was flying to London. View full profile . 

Are you looking to apply to NYU ? Make sure to search through profiles of students accepted to see essays, stats, and advice. See how they got in, and how you can too!

About The Author

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

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Published October 03, 2023

3 Tips to Choose the Right Common App Essay Prompt

Lisa Mortini

Senior Assistant Director, NYU Abu Dhabi Admissions

It’s time to start preparing your application to NYU. If you’re wondering how to choose the right prompt amongst the seven offered by the Common Application, then keep reading.

TIP 1 – Which YOU are you presenting to NYU?

Don’t just jump on the first prompt you read and start writing. Before you choose a prompt, you may want to ask yourself: are you excited to talk to us about a specific achievement? Do you want to give us insight into a hardship you faced and conquered? Are you keen to tell us about how you challenged the world around you? Are you so passionate about something that it’s all you can talk about these days?

Each of the seven essay questions in the Common Application will highlight and reveal a different facet of your personality. Do your research on NYU to truly understand why we are the school for you. Use your findings to decide which of your own qualities, skills, and character traits show that you are a good match for NYU. Then choose the prompt that will help us best understand that you are indeed the right fit for the school.

TIP 2 – Are you sure you’ve read this right?

While the seven prompts from the Common Application seem straightforward, are you sure you’ve really understood what they are asking?

Do read each question—and especially the one you will choose to answer—very carefully. These prompts are not as simple as they appear. Many of them have layers and sub-questions. Do not latch only on one key word and run away with it! You want to make sure you are actually understanding the question before you answer it fully.

I heard this tip from a colleague once and it never left me. To make sure you’ve actually answered the question, ask someone you trust to read your essay draft but remove the question first. Ask them afterwards what they think the questions was. If they get it, bingo! You’ve answered the question. If they are off-base, then you may want to rework your answer to make sure it covers what is actually being asked.

TIP 3 – Trust your instinct

Many of you will already have, in the back of your mind, an interesting story about your life that you’d like to share with NYU. It’s an interesting anecdote that would accentuate your fit within our student community. But then, you hesitate. You’re unsure if you should choose this story or another one. Or another one. Maybe this other one would do?

Bottom line is trust that you know yourself.  If you feel a specific story would represent your personality well and convey your fit to NYU better than another, then choose that one. Don’t debate forever. No time to waste!

Be careful if choosing prompt 7: “ Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. ”

While great personal statements can come from this prompt, my application reviewer experience tells me it’s not always the savviest choice. As this question is very open, you may be tempted to use an essay that you’ve already written for a completely different reason. These essays tend to be more impersonal. They often focus on a school subject, a project or activity you were a part of. They don’t really tell us about YOU. What makes you interesting, unique, and a good fit for NYU. My recommendation would be to write your application essay for this purpose specifically and choosing one of the six other prompts will ensure that you do just that.

EXTRA BONUS TIP

As we are still navigating uncertain times, you may be tempted to use prompt 7, the open essay, to write about recent events and how they have most certainly affected your life. “How the COVID-19 Pandemic Impacted Me” might well be on its way to become a recurring essay topic.

Before you chose this particular subject for your main essay, do ask yourself: What have I lived through that thousands (if not millions) of other high school students around the world have not also gone through? What is my angle on this? How would choosing this subject help me differentiate myself from others and help reveal my true personality? If you are struggling to find satisfying answers to these questions, another topic may be more appropriate.

Additionally, don’t forget that the Common Application has given you a dedicated space in the ‘Additional Information’ section to talk about your experience with COVID-19 or another recent natural disaster that may have impacted your academic career. This should give you ample space to share with us any Covid-19 details that you deem relevant.

Finally....

If you are still unsure what to do with your essay, let me refer you to my earlier post about writing a great application essay . While written with international candidates in mind, it should prove useful to all who apply to NYU. Another great article about strengthening your writing is my colleague David’s post about how to proofread your college essay .

Happy writing! We really look forward to reading your application very soon.

Lisa is a Senior Assistant Director of Admissions for NYU Abu Dhabi and the Global Admissions Team, based in the London office. Born and raised in France, Lisa also lived in Denmark and spent a couple of years in leafy upstate New York.  She is a dedicated gardener, a keen traveler to India and Japan, and loves watching the tennis at Wimbledon. She now spends her free time playing with her little rescue terrier dog, Cooper.

More from Lisa:

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Finished your first draft of your college essay? Here’s the next part—proofreading and editing. These tips will guide you through the treacherous proofreading process to make your writing as sharp as possible.

Tips for International Candidates Writing the Common App Essay

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NYU’s Common Application Questions

Thinking about submitting an application to NYU? Learn what to expect when you add NYU to your My Colleges list on the Common Application.

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Standing Out From the Crowd

By Ron Lieber

• May 17, 2013

“I wonder if Princeton should be poorer.”

If you’re a high school senior trying to seduce the admissions officer reading your application essay, this may not strike you as the ideal opening line. But Shanti Kumar, a senior at the Bronx High School of Science, went ahead anyway when the university prompted her to react in writing to the idea of “Princeton in the nation’s service and in the service of all nations.”

Back in January, when I asked high school seniors to send in college application essays about money, class, working and the economy, I wasn’t sure what, if anything, would come in over the transom.

But 66 students submitted essays, and with the help of Harry Bauld, the author of “ On Writing the College Application Essay ,” we’ve selected four to publish in full online and in part in this column. That allowed us to be slightly more selective than Princeton itself was last year.

What these four writers have in common is an appetite for risk. Not only did they talk openly about issues that are emotionally complex and often outright taboo, but they took brave and counterintuitive positions on class, national identity and the application process itself. For anyone looking to inspire their own children or grandchildren who are seeking to go to college in the fall of 2014, these four essays would be a good place to start.

Perhaps the most daring essay of all came from Julian Cranberg, a 17-year-old from Brookline, Mass. One of the first rules of the college admissions process is that you don’t write about the college admissions process.

But Mr. Cranberg thumbed his nose at that convention, taking on the tremendous cost of the piles of mail schools send to potential students, and the waste that results from the effort. He figured that he received at least $200 worth of pitches in the past year or so.

“Why, in an era of record-high student loan debt and unemployment, are colleges not reallocating these ludicrous funds to aid their own students instead of extending their arms far and wide to students they have never met?” he asked in the essay.

Antioch College seemed to think that was a perfectly reasonable question and accepted him, though he will attend Oberlin College instead, to which he did not submit the essay.

“It’s a bold move to critique the very institution he was applying to,” said Mr. Bauld, who also teaches English at Horace Mann School in New York City. “But here’s somebody who knows he can make it work with intelligence and humor.”

Indeed, Mr. Cranberg’s essay includes asides about applicants’ gullibility and the college that sent him a DHL “priority” envelope, noting inside that he was a priority to the college. “The humor here is not in the jokes,” Mr. Bauld added. “It originates in a critical habit of mind, and the kind of mind that is in this essay is going to play out extremely well in any class that he’s in.”

Admissions professionals often warn people not to think that they can write their way into the freshman class. “The essay is one document that, even in the best of circumstances, is written by an individual telling one story,” said Shawn Abbott, the assistant vice president for undergraduate admissions at New York University. “I don’t believe that any one writing sample should trump what they did over four years.”

Still, he acknowledged that his staff had been taken with the story told by Lyle Li, a 19-year-old Brooklyn resident who applied this year. He wrote about his family’s restaurant and his mother, an immigrant from China who once wanted to be a doctor and now works behind a cash register.

“When I visit my friends, I see the names of elite institutions adorning the living room walls,” wrote Mr. Li, a senior at Regis High School in Manhattan. “I am conscious that these framed diplomas are testaments to the hard work and accomplishments of my friends’ parents and siblings. Nevertheless, the sight of them was an irritating reminder of the disparity between our households. I was not the upper-middle-class kid on Park Avenue. Truth be told, I am just some kid from Brooklyn. Instead of diplomas and accolades, my parents’ room emits a smell from the restaurant uniforms they wear seven days a week, all year round.”

Mr. Abbott said that N.Y.U. received plenty of essays about the immigrant experience. So Mr. Li risked writing one of many stories about long odds and hard work in an unfamiliar, unforgiving place.

But he did not fall into that trap and will be attending N.Y.U. this fall. “His essay brought his family’s circumstance and background into Technicolor,” Mr. Abbott said. “He paints a very vivid picture of what life is really like in his home. I think he’s proud of his accomplishments and work ethic, but there’s also a humility each day when he takes off his preppy blue blazer in front of his mom.”

The essay by Ana Castro, an 18-year-old senior at the Doane Stuart School in Rensselaer, N.Y., is about not quite arriving, in spite of having been born in the United States. And her essay for Hamilton College, which she will attend in the fall, centers on her desire to serve in the Peace Corps. It opens with a joke about her hating clowns and leeches and tells a sad story of a visit to the Dominican Republic, where her father refused to let her play with the destitute boy next door. “My heart broke, not because I was now stuck eating plantains by myself in the stinging sun, but because that boy experienced a level of poor I never knew.”

Then she makes a startling statement that stopped both me and Mr. Bauld as we were reading it for the first time. “I have never seen the United States as my country,” Ms. Castro wrote. “I have never felt total patriotism to any country. I do not instantly think of staying here to help ‘my home,’ because I do not consider the United States my home. The Earth is ‘my home.’ ”

To Monica Inzer, Hamilton’s dean of admission and financial aid, bold declarations like this one are a strong sign of authenticity if nothing else. “Lots of essays have been doctored or written by other people,” she said. “You know that a parent didn’t write this. I don’t know how I know, but I do.”

Mr. Bauld knows how he knows. “There’s always an attempt in some of these college admissions factories to smooth out a student’s edges,” he said. “But what I loved about this piece is that there is no attempt to smooth out anything.”

As for Ms. Kumar, the 18-year-old Princeton applicant, her essay wasn’t so much smooth as it was slick, gliding effortlessly from her breakfast table to the manicured campus of Princeton to the “occidental bubble” of her school classroom. There’s a detour onto the city bus and then a quick trip to India before coming back to the “towering turrets” of New Jersey again.

Nevertheless, Princeton rejected her, and when I approached the university to find out if it had anything to do with her essay, it cited its policy of not commenting on any applicants or admissions decisions. I told its spokesman, Martin Mbugua, that other schools had commented on their own applicants once the students gave them permission, but he was unmoved.

Ms. Kumar suggested that her grades might not have been quite high enough, but Mr. Bauld contended that Princeton should have been swayed by her words.

“One of the things that makes this essay is her tone,” he said. “It could have been, ‘Princeton should be poorer,’ but she opens it as an inquiry. What she does is that she listens very carefully to what you have assigned her to do, and as a response to that, she says, ‘Well, let me ask you this!’ ”

Next week, Ms. Kumar will take the stage as Marty in the Bronx Science production of “Grease,” and she’ll collect her diploma on June 21. In the fall, she’ll attend Cornell, for which she wrote no essays about the university’s level of affluence.

To Mr. Bauld, that’s Princeton’s loss. “She is that person who is always going to give an interesting answer, even to the most boring question,” he said. “That’s my confidence in reading it, and I’d want that person in my class as a teacher.”

Twitter: @ronlieber

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NYU Senior Reads Her College Admissions Essay Just Before Graduation

“I’ve done so much and I feel proud of myself,” reflects Lynn Fu (Gallatin ’20). “It feels really hard right now because we’re not able to celebrate in the traditional ways, but I think our time at NYU is something we’ll always remember.”