as follows essay

‘As Follows’: A Guide to Its Usage

The terms “follows” and “as follows” or “as followed” are often used in writing or speech to introduce a list, description, or explanation. The term “follows” is always singular, even when it applies to numerous items and is usually followed by a colon. In other words, it is used to idicate that something else is about to be explained in detail.

Using these terms can help clarify the context of a sentence and ensure that readers understand what you are trying to communicate. For example, if you want to decribe an event, you might say: “The events of the day unfolded as follows: breakfast at the hotel; sightseeing tour; lunch at a local restaurant; swimming in the sea; dinner at the hotel.” This makes it easier for readers to visualize what happened during the day and follow along with your story.

Similarly, if you need to explain a concept then you could use this phrase: “The five steps required for this process are as follows: Step 1 – Gather information; Step 2 – Analyze data; Step 3 – Develop a plan; Step 4 – Implement the plan; Step 5 – Monitor results.” Again, this helps readers understand each step of the process more clearly and makes it easier for them to follow alng with your explanation.

In conclusion, understanding how to use the terms ‘follows’ and ‘as follows or as followed’ can help make your writing more clear and concise so that readers can easily follow along with what you are tring to communicate.

Utilizing As Follows

As follows is used to introduce a list, description, or explanation. It is commonly used in written documents such as reports, articles, and instructions to organize information and make it easier for readers to follow. For example: “The steps for completing the project are as follows: 1) Gather materials; 2) Prepare the workspace; 3) Begin work; 4) Complete the project.”

The Meaning of As Follows

As follows is a phrase used to introduce a list of items. It is typically used in a formal or business setting, to introduce a series of instructions or tasks that need to be followed. It indicates that what follows will be the details of this list or instructions. For example, “Mary planned her day as follows: returning all phone calls; a department meeting; lunch with her colleagues; library research.”

The Following Steps Outline the Process of Transforming a Question into a Paragraph Heading

After as follows, you can include a list of items that you are referring to. For example, you culd say, “As follows: three cars, two laptops, and one printer.”

Singularity of Follows

The phrase “as follows” is always used with a singular verb—“follows.” It is incorrect to use the plural verb “follow” instead. The Oxford English Dictionary defines this phrase as a prefatory formula used to introduce a statement, enumeration, or the like, and states that its verb should always be in the singular form.

Answer: The Question As Follows

The correct usage is “as follows,” which means to list or enumerate the items that were mentioned previously.

Overview of As Follows To Wit

No, “are as follows to wit” does not mean “the following comes to mind.” The phrase “are as follows to wit” is used to introduce a list of specific items or points that follow. It is typically used in legal documents, were the phrase is meant to draw attention to the items being listed and emphasize their importance.

In conclusion, the use of “as follows” is a helpful tool for introducing lists, descriptions, or explanations. It gives the reader an idea of what to expect in the upcoming information and allows them to easily pick out specific details. Additionally, this term is always used in the singular form, reinforcing its importance as a way to provde clarity and organization.

William Armstrong

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• Prepositions

AS FOLLOWS in a Sentence Examples: 21 Ways to Use As Follows

Do you find it challenging to structure your ideas logically in writing? Transition phrases like “as follows” can be incredibly useful in guiding readers through your points step by step.

When you use “as follows” in a sentence, you’re signaling a clear sequence or a breakdown of information about to be presented. This simple phrase is a powerful tool to ensure your writing flows smoothly and your ideas are easily understood.

Table of Contents

7 Examples Of As Follows Used In a Sentence For Kids

• The colors of the Indian flag are as follows : saffron, white, and green.
• The days of the week are as follows : Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
• The shapes we learned today are as follows : circle, square, triangle, rectangle, and oval.
• The numbers from one to ten are as follows : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.
• The seasons of the year are as follows : summer, monsoon, autumn, winter, and spring.
• The months of the year are as follows : January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, and December.
• The days of the month are as follows : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and so on.

14 Sentences with As Follows Examples

• The schedule for the final exams is as follows : History on Monday, Economics on Wednesday, and Mathematics on Friday.
• Please note the guidelines for the group presentation as follows : each group member must speak for at least three minutes.
• The list of recommended textbooks for the upcoming semester is as follows : “Introduction to Psychology” by David Myers and “Organizational Behavior” by Stephen Robbins.
• The procedure for submitting assignments is as follows : all assignments must be uploaded to the student portal by midnight on the due date.
• The criteria for selecting team leaders is as follows : candidates must have a minimum GPA of 3.5 and demonstrate strong leadership skills.
• The procedure for applying for student loans is as follows : students must fill out the online application form and submit the required documents by the deadline.
• The details for the college trip are as follows : departure is at 7:00 am on Saturday from the main campus parking lot.
• The rules for the annual college festival are as follows : no outside food or beverages are allowed on the premises.
• The format for citing sources in academic papers is as follows : use APA style with in-text citations and a bibliography at the end.
• The guidelines for participating in extracurricular activities are as follows : students must maintain a minimum GPA of 2.5 to be eligible.
• The process for requesting a leave of absence is as follows : students must submit a written request to the Dean’s office at least two weeks in advance.
• The syllabus for the upcoming semester is as follows : Introduction to Sociology on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Statistics on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
• The format for submitting research proposals is as follows : include a title, abstract, literature review, methodology, and timeline.
• The rules for using the college library are as follows : no talking on cell phones, no food or drinks, and return books on time.

How To Use As Follows in Sentences?

As Follows is a phrase used to introduce a list or an explanation of what will come next. When using As Follows in a sentence, it is important to pay attention to the context to ensure the correct usage. Here is a simple guide on how to use As Follows effectively in a sentence:

Introduce the main idea or topic of the sentence.

Example: The steps to bake a cake are as follows .

State As Follows to transition to the list or explanation.

Example: As follows , gather all the necessary ingredients.

List the items or instructions that will be presented in the following sentence.

Example: As follows , mix the flour, sugar, and eggs in a bowl.

Make sure that the list or explanation directly relates to the main idea introduced at the beginning of the sentence.

Example: The ingredients needed to make the cake are as follows .

By following these steps, you can effectively use As Follows to introduce lists, steps, instructions, or any other kind of sequential information in a clear and organized manner. Remember to always keep the tone of the sentence formal and professional when using As Follows .

In conclusion, the use of “sentences with as follows” is a helpful way to provide clear and organized information. By structuring information in this manner, readers can easily follow along and understand the progression of ideas. For instance, when presenting a list of steps or instructions, using “as follows” can create a logical flow and make the content more digestible for the audience.

Moreover, incorporating “sentences with as follows” can improve the coherence and readability of written communication. Whether it’s in a report, academic paper, or instructional manual, this method can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of conveying complex information. Thus, utilizing this phrase can be a valuable tool in ensuring that information is presented in a concise and understandable manner.

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Sometimes it can be confusing deciding when to use a colon or a semicolon. The colon is used to provide an example or more detailed information in the sentence.

Correcting the Problem

In the sentence above, no colon is needed after the phrase in such areas as .

Rule to Remember

Use a colon after expressions the , following , or as follows .

Do NOT use it after for example , including , such as , or that is .

The colon is used:

• after the expressions the following or as follows but NOT after for example, including, such as , or that is
• after an independent clause or a dependent clause . It may link two separate clauses or phrases by indicating a step forward from the first clause to the second.
• between two independent clauses when the second modifies the first
• to indicate a quotation that is formally announced
• before a list, an explanation, or a definition that is preceded by a clause that can stand alone

Use a colon before a list, an explanation, or a definition that is preceded by a clause that can stand alone.

• after a salutation in formal correspondence
• between the hour and minute in time
• to introduce a long formal quotation

Remember to indent long quotations (also called block quotes) half an inch.

• between volumes and page numbers or chapters and verses
• Capitalization
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Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts

MLA In-Text Citations: The Basics

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Guidelines for referring to the works of others in your text using MLA style are covered throughout the  MLA Handbook  and in chapter 7 of the  MLA Style Manual . Both books provide extensive examples, so it's a good idea to consult them if you want to become even more familiar with MLA guidelines or if you have a particular reference question.

Basic in-text citation rules

In MLA Style, referring to the works of others in your text is done using parenthetical citations . This method involves providing relevant source information in parentheses whenever a sentence uses a quotation or paraphrase. Usually, the simplest way to do this is to put all of the source information in parentheses at the end of the sentence (i.e., just before the period). However, as the examples below will illustrate, there are situations where it makes sense to put the parenthetical elsewhere in the sentence, or even to leave information out.

General Guidelines

• The source information required in a parenthetical citation depends (1) upon the source medium (e.g. print, web, DVD) and (2) upon the source’s entry on the Works Cited page.
• Any source information that you provide in-text must correspond to the source information on the Works Cited page. More specifically, whatever signal word or phrase you provide to your readers in the text must be the first thing that appears on the left-hand margin of the corresponding entry on the Works Cited page.

In-text citations: Author-page style

MLA format follows the author-page method of in-text citation. This means that the author's last name and the page number(s) from which the quotation or paraphrase is taken must appear in the text, and a complete reference should appear on your Works Cited page. The author's name may appear either in the sentence itself or in parentheses following the quotation or paraphrase, but the page number(s) should always appear in the parentheses, not in the text of your sentence. For example:

Both citations in the examples above, (263) and (Wordsworth 263), tell readers that the information in the sentence can be located on page 263 of a work by an author named Wordsworth. If readers want more information about this source, they can turn to the Works Cited page, where, under the name of Wordsworth, they would find the following information:

Wordsworth, William. Lyrical Ballads . Oxford UP, 1967.

In-text citations for print sources with known author

For print sources like books, magazines, scholarly journal articles, and newspapers, provide a signal word or phrase (usually the author’s last name) and a page number. If you provide the signal word/phrase in the sentence, you do not need to include it in the parenthetical citation.

These examples must correspond to an entry that begins with Burke, which will be the first thing that appears on the left-hand margin of an entry on the Works Cited page:

Burke, Kenneth. Language as Symbolic Action: Essays on Life, Literature, and Method . University of California Press, 1966.

In-text citations for print sources by a corporate author

When a source has a corporate author, it is acceptable to use the name of the corporation followed by the page number for the in-text citation. You should also use abbreviations (e.g., nat'l for national) where appropriate, so as to avoid interrupting the flow of reading with overly long parenthetical citations.

In-text citations for sources with non-standard labeling systems

If a source uses a labeling or numbering system other than page numbers, such as a script or poetry, precede the citation with said label. When citing a poem, for instance, the parenthetical would begin with the word “line”, and then the line number or range. For example, the examination of William Blake’s poem “The Tyger” would be cited as such:

The speaker makes an ardent call for the exploration of the connection between the violence of nature and the divinity of creation. “In what distant deeps or skies. / Burnt the fire of thine eyes," they ask in reference to the tiger as they attempt to reconcile their intimidation with their relationship to creationism (lines 5-6).

Longer labels, such as chapters (ch.) and scenes (sc.), should be abbreviated.

In-text citations for print sources with no known author

When a source has no known author, use a shortened title of the work instead of an author name, following these guidelines.

Place the title in quotation marks if it's a short work (such as an article) or italicize it if it's a longer work (e.g. plays, books, television shows, entire Web sites) and provide a page number if it is available.

Titles longer than a standard noun phrase should be shortened into a noun phrase by excluding articles. For example, To the Lighthouse would be shortened to Lighthouse .

If the title cannot be easily shortened into a noun phrase, the title should be cut after the first clause, phrase, or punctuation:

In this example, since the reader does not know the author of the article, an abbreviated title appears in the parenthetical citation, and the full title of the article appears first at the left-hand margin of its respective entry on the Works Cited page. Thus, the writer includes the title in quotation marks as the signal phrase in the parenthetical citation in order to lead the reader directly to the source on the Works Cited page. The Works Cited entry appears as follows:

"The Impact of Global Warming in North America." Global Warming: Early Signs . 1999. www.climatehotmap.org/. Accessed 23 Mar. 2009.

If the title of the work begins with a quotation mark, such as a title that refers to another work, that quote or quoted title can be used as the shortened title. The single quotation marks must be included in the parenthetical, rather than the double quotation.

Parenthetical citations and Works Cited pages, used in conjunction, allow readers to know which sources you consulted in writing your essay, so that they can either verify your interpretation of the sources or use them in their own scholarly work.

Author-page citation for classic and literary works with multiple editions

Page numbers are always required, but additional citation information can help literary scholars, who may have a different edition of a classic work, like Marx and Engels's  The Communist Manifesto . In such cases, give the page number of your edition (making sure the edition is listed in your Works Cited page, of course) followed by a semicolon, and then the appropriate abbreviations for volume (vol.), book (bk.), part (pt.), chapter (ch.), section (sec.), or paragraph (par.). For example:

Author-page citation for works in an anthology, periodical, or collection

When you cite a work that appears inside a larger source (for instance, an article in a periodical or an essay in a collection), cite the author of the  internal source (i.e., the article or essay). For example, to cite Albert Einstein's article "A Brief Outline of the Theory of Relativity," which was published in  Nature  in 1921, you might write something like this:

See also our page on documenting periodicals in the Works Cited .

Citing authors with same last names

Sometimes more information is necessary to identify the source from which a quotation is taken. For instance, if two or more authors have the same last name, provide both authors' first initials (or even the authors' full name if different authors share initials) in your citation. For example:

Citing a work by multiple authors

For a source with two authors, list the authors’ last names in the text or in the parenthetical citation:

Corresponding Works Cited entry:

Best, David, and Sharon Marcus. “Surface Reading: An Introduction.” Representations , vol. 108, no. 1, Fall 2009, pp. 1-21. JSTOR, doi:10.1525/rep.2009.108.1.1

For a source with three or more authors, list only the first author’s last name, and replace the additional names with et al.

Franck, Caroline, et al. “Agricultural Subsidies and the American Obesity Epidemic.” American Journal of Preventative Medicine , vol. 45, no. 3, Sept. 2013, pp. 327-333.

Citing multiple works by the same author

If you cite more than one work by an author, include a shortened title for the particular work from which you are quoting to distinguish it from the others. Put short titles of books in italics and short titles of articles in quotation marks.

Citing two articles by the same author :

Citing two books by the same author :

Additionally, if the author's name is not mentioned in the sentence, format your citation with the author's name followed by a comma, followed by a shortened title of the work, and, when appropriate, the page number(s):

Citing multivolume works

If you cite from different volumes of a multivolume work, always include the volume number followed by a colon. Put a space after the colon, then provide the page number(s). (If you only cite from one volume, provide only the page number in parentheses.)

Citing the Bible

In your first parenthetical citation, you want to make clear which Bible you're using (and underline or italicize the title), as each version varies in its translation, followed by book (do not italicize or underline), chapter, and verse. For example:

If future references employ the same edition of the Bible you’re using, list only the book, chapter, and verse in the parenthetical citation:

John of Patmos echoes this passage when describing his vision (Rev. 4.6-8).

Citing indirect sources

Sometimes you may have to use an indirect source. An indirect source is a source cited within another source. For such indirect quotations, use "qtd. in" to indicate the source you actually consulted. For example:

Note that, in most cases, a responsible researcher will attempt to find the original source, rather than citing an indirect source.

Citing transcripts, plays, or screenplays

Sources that take the form of a dialogue involving two or more participants have special guidelines for their quotation and citation. Each line of dialogue should begin with the speaker's name written in all capitals and indented half an inch. A period follows the name (e.g., JAMES.) . After the period, write the dialogue. Each successive line after the first should receive an additional indentation. When another person begins speaking, start a new line with that person's name indented only half an inch. Repeat this pattern each time the speaker changes. You can include stage directions in the quote if they appear in the original source.

Conclude with a parenthetical that explains where to find the excerpt in the source. Usually, the author and title of the source can be given in a signal phrase before quoting the excerpt, so the concluding parenthetical will often just contain location information like page numbers or act/scene indicators.

Here is an example from O'Neill's  The Iceman Cometh.

WILLIE. (Pleadingly) Give me a drink, Rocky. Harry said it was all right. God, I need a drink.

ROCKY. Den grab it. It's right under your nose.

WILLIE. (Avidly) Thanks. (He takes the bottle with both twitching hands and tilts it to his lips and gulps down the whiskey in big swallows.) (1.1)

Citing non-print or sources from the Internet

With more and more scholarly work published on the Internet, you may have to cite sources you found in digital environments. While many sources on the Internet should not be used for scholarly work (reference the OWL's  Evaluating Sources of Information  resource), some Web sources are perfectly acceptable for research. When creating in-text citations for electronic, film, or Internet sources, remember that your citation must reference the source on your Works Cited page.

Sometimes writers are confused with how to craft parenthetical citations for electronic sources because of the absence of page numbers. However, these sorts of entries often do not require a page number in the parenthetical citation. For electronic and Internet sources, follow the following guidelines:

• Include in the text the first item that appears in the Work Cited entry that corresponds to the citation (e.g. author name, article name, website name, film name).
• Do not provide paragraph numbers or page numbers based on your Web browser’s print preview function.
• Unless you must list the Web site name in the signal phrase in order to get the reader to the appropriate entry, do not include URLs in-text. Only provide partial URLs such as when the name of the site includes, for example, a domain name, like  CNN.com  or  Forbes.com,  as opposed to writing out http://www.cnn.com or http://www.forbes.com.

Miscellaneous non-print sources

Two types of non-print sources you may encounter are films and lectures/presentations:

In the two examples above “Herzog” (a film’s director) and “Yates” (a presentor) lead the reader to the first item in each citation’s respective entry on the Works Cited page:

Herzog, Werner, dir. Fitzcarraldo . Perf. Klaus Kinski. Filmverlag der Autoren, 1982.

Yates, Jane. "Invention in Rhetoric and Composition." Gaps Addressed: Future Work in Rhetoric and Composition, CCCC, Palmer House Hilton, 2002. Address.

Electronic sources

Electronic sources may include web pages and online news or magazine articles:

In the first example (an online magazine article), the writer has chosen not to include the author name in-text; however, two entries from the same author appear in the Works Cited. Thus, the writer includes both the author’s last name and the article title in the parenthetical citation in order to lead the reader to the appropriate entry on the Works Cited page (see below).

In the second example (a web page), a parenthetical citation is not necessary because the page does not list an author, and the title of the article, “MLA Formatting and Style Guide,” is used as a signal phrase within the sentence. If the title of the article was not named in the sentence, an abbreviated version would appear in a parenthetical citation at the end of the sentence. Both corresponding Works Cited entries are as follows:

Taylor, Rumsey. "Fitzcarraldo." Slant , 13 Jun. 2003, www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/fitzcarraldo/. Accessed 29 Sep. 2009. 

"MLA Formatting and Style Guide." The Purdue OWL , 2 Aug. 2016, owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/. Accessed 2 April 2018.

Multiple citations

To cite multiple sources in the same parenthetical reference, separate the citations by a semi-colon:

Time-based media sources

When creating in-text citations for media that has a runtime, such as a movie or podcast, include the range of hours, minutes and seconds you plan to reference. For example: (00:02:15-00:02:35).

When a citation is not needed

Common sense and ethics should determine your need for documenting sources. You do not need to give sources for familiar proverbs, well-known quotations, or common knowledge (For example, it is expected that U.S. citizens know that George Washington was the first President.). Remember that citing sources is a rhetorical task, and, as such, can vary based on your audience. If you’re writing for an expert audience of a scholarly journal, for example, you may need to deal with expectations of what constitutes “common knowledge” that differ from common norms.

Other Sources

The MLA Handbook describes how to cite many different kinds of authors and content creators. However, you may occasionally encounter a source or author category that the handbook does not describe, making the best way to proceed can be unclear.

In these cases, it's typically acceptable to apply the general principles of MLA citation to the new kind of source in a way that's consistent and sensible. A good way to do this is to simply use the standard MLA directions for a type of source that resembles the source you want to cite.

You may also want to investigate whether a third-party organization has provided directions for how to cite this kind of source. For example, Norquest College provides guidelines for citing Indigenous Elders and Knowledge Keepers⁠ —an author category that does not appear in the MLA Handbook . In cases like this, however, it's a good idea to ask your instructor or supervisor whether using third-party citation guidelines might present problems.

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Meaning of as follows in English

As follows | american dictionary.

• Used to introduce a list of items, often in a particular order.

Translations of as follows

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Word of the Day

balancing act

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a difficult situation in which someone has to try to give equal amounts of importance, time, attention, etc. to two or more different things at the same time

Alike and analogous (Talking about similarities, Part 1)

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10 Other Ways to Say “As Follows”

Are you trying to spice up your writing and avoid repeating “ as follows ” too much?

In this article, we’ll share some great alternatives that will teach you a different way to say “as follows.” It’s time to explore exciting new synonyms to engage your readers.

• The following is
• As detailed below
• As indicated below
• In the following manner
• According to the following
• As you will see
• As outlined below
• From the following
• Listed below

Keep reading to learn what to write instead of “as follows.” We’ve provided examples for every alternative in the list above!

1. See Below

“See below” shows you a different way to say “as follows.” It works well when you’ve attached an informative file .

Generally, “below” here refers to the file in question. It works well in formal emails , as it directs the recipient’s attention to the file you’d like them to review.

It can work well when contacting employees . Try it the next time you’d like them to review an important document to help with their work.

You can also refer to this email example:

Dear Russell, I have attached a file that will explain everything you need to know about this. Please see below . Yours, Duncan Redford

2. The Following Is

For a more direct list, you can use “the following is.” It’s a great choice for a formal alternative, so it’s bound to work quite well in your emails.

Try it when emailing a client . It shows you’re on top of something and want them to review a list before you can do business with them.

Here’s a great sample email to show you how it works:

Dear Miss Scott, The following is a list of everything we need to account for before moving forward. Please consider all the options first. Thank you so much, Barry Onion

3. As Detailed Below

It’s worth using “as detailed below” as another way to say “as follows.” Again, it refers to an attached file that contains important information for a recipient.

Try including it when emailing an employer . It shows you would like to share something with them and want their verdict on the information you provided in an email.

Generally, “detailed” means you have included a lot of information . It refers to many details, which will often help the recipient understand more about what you’re asking.

We also recommend reviewing this example:

Dear Mr. Tayler, As detailed below , these are the most important things for us to complete. Do you think you can help us with this? All the best , Sophie Miller

4. As Indicated Below

Indicating specific information or updates helps recipients to understand what’s happening. That’s why “as indicated below” is a good alternative to “as follows.”

It allows you to direct someone’s attention to important updates . This will help you establish a formal conversation with them and allow them to see what you have to say.

However, as with any option that includes “below,” it only works when providing an attachment . As “below” often refers someone directly to an attached file.

Perhaps this email example will also help you:

Dear Mr. Dunkirk, I have attached the document as indicated below . I would certainly like to hear your opinion on matters. Best, Sam Young

5. In the Following Manner

You can use “in the following manner” to begin a list . It’s a good way to let a recipient know what to expect from the next few lines of an email.

It’s not quite as direct as “as follows.” It usually requires a bit of build-up to get it right.

However, it’s a good way to lay out information concisely . This should help the recipient to understand what you’re conveying.

You can also review the following example:

Dear Miss Sutton, I will refer you to the most important matters. In the following manner , you should learn the most pressing issues first. Yours, Michael Shearer

6. According to the Following

We also recommend using “according to the following.” It’s a great formal synonym for “as follows.”

It shows you would like to refer to specific information that follows your current statement. This will help the reader to understand what you’re hinting at as they read an email.

For instance, you can use it when emailing employees . It shows you have a specific document or list of information you’d like them to abide by.

Check out this email example if you’re still unsure:

Dear Anthony, You need to work on this project according to the following rules. Do you think that’s in your wheelhouse? My best, Sonia Burton

7. As You Will See

It’s good to use “as you will see” to direct someone’s attention to information .

It shows that you will follow an email with an attachment or information that will benefit the reader.

This is a great way to ensure the reader focuses . It will let them know that they will “see” what’s important as long as they review the list or information you provide next.

This sample email will also help you:

Dear Miss Pickett, As you will see from the file below, we’d like to discuss whether the next steps are the most appropriate. Kind regards, Sean Bentley

8. As Outlined Below

You can use “as outlined below” as a formal synonym for “as follows.” It works really well when you’ve detailed the flow of a project .

Generally, this works well when emailing employees . It shows you have an outline for them to follow, and you’d appreciate it if they could review it.

It’s also not too direct. It simply lets them review the attachment “below” the email, which should help them to figure out what they need to do with the outline.

Also, here’s a great example to show you how it works:

Dear Sharon, We are working on this as outlined below . Please let us know if there’s anything you’d like to change. Yours, Martin Samson

9. From the Following

Try using “from the following” to explain how important information is . We recommend using it in emails to let a recipient know they should focus on your writing.

Generally, this is a good way to communicate with clients . It shows you’re interested in filling them in, similarly to how “as follows” works.

You can provide a list before or after “from the following,” making it a versatile choice when sharing important information.

Why not check out the following example as well:

Dear Miss Vasiljeva, What can you gather from the information we’ve attached? It’s important to read through it to learn from the following . My best, Hillary Clyde

10. Listed Below

Finally, you can use “listed below” instead of “as follows.” It’s a great way to end a sentence when you’d like to introduce a list to the reader .

It’s a different way to say “as follows” that works best when a list gets used. It is clear and direct , making it much clearer when the reader is trying to understand you.

Here’s a great email sample to help you with it:

Dear Mr. Quincannon, I have created the most important rules. You will find them listed below , but I’d like to hear your thoughts. Kind regards, Seamus O’Doherty

Is It Correct to Say “As Follows”?

It is correct to say “as follows.” It works well before listing something in your writing.

You should know how to end a sentence with “as follows.” We recommend using it in formal writing. It allows you to express a list that immediately follows your previous sentence .

Generally, this makes things easier for the reader to follow. So, give it a go when you’re unsure how else to build into a list.

Also, you can review these examples to find out how to use “as follows” in a sentence:

• The changes we made are as follows : We will no longer serve lunch on Fridays; everyone must attend a Saturday meeting.
• The rule reads as follows . You are no longer permitted to work alongside her.

You should always use “follows” here because of how the verb form works. It’s never correct to say “as follow.” For instance:

• Correct: The changes are as follows .
• Incorrect: The rules are as follow .

It’s also incorrect to change the verb form to “following” or “followed.” For example:

• Incorrect: The changes are as the following .
• Incorrect: We would like to change things as followed .

It’s most common to place a colon or period after “as follows.” Generally, you would not need to place a comma before or after when trying to punctuate it appropriately.

The colon is the most effective when introducing a list of more than one item. However, you can use a period instead if you’d like to end the sentence.

Generally, semicolons and commas are unnecessary. To avoid confusion, it’s best to leave them out when writing “as follows.”

Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Read more about Martin here .

• 11 Other Ways to Say “Please See Attached”
• Is “Dear All” Appropriate In A Work Email? (8 Better Alternatives)
• Here’s What “Under Review” Really Means On A Job Application
• Is It Correct to Say “Please See Below Email”?

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"are as follows" vs "is as follows"

Last Updated: March 30, 2024

are as follows

This is correct

Some examples from our editors:

• The steps to complete the project are as follows: research, analysis, design, implementation, testing, and evaluation
• The requirements for the position are as follows: a bachelor's degree, three years of experience, and proficiency in Microsoft Office
• The ingredients for the recipe are as follows: flour, sugar, butter, eggs, milk, and vanilla extract
• To register for the conference, the steps are as follows: fill out the registration form, pay the registration fee, and receive confirmation of registration
• The terms and conditions for the service are as follows: a monthly subscription fee, a -day cancellation notice, and a limit on data usage
• If you want to apply for the scholarship, the criteria are as follows: a minimum GPA of , an essay on your academic goals, and two letters of recommendation

Some alternatives from our editors:

• Include the following
• Consist of the following
• Are enumerated as
• Comprise the following
• Formulate the following
• Represent the following

is as follows

This phrase is correct and commonly used when introducing a single item or a singular concept.

• The procedure is as follows: first, prepare the ingredients.
• The schedule for the event is as follows: registration at 9:00 AM, opening ceremony at 10:00 AM.

Alternatives:

• is listed below
• is outlined as follows
• is detailed as follows
• is presented as follows
• is described as follows

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Kirsten Dunst as Lee in Civil War.

The new film Civil War depicts a contemporary America torn apart by a military conflict between the federal government and an alliance of secessionist states. Directed by Alex Garland ( Ex Machina ), the film follows a small band of journalists led by Kirsten Dunst's jaded war photographer. They embark on a harrowing journey to the heart of the conflict, encountering brutality and bloodshed along the way.

Opinion It’s not so ‘terribly strange to be 70’

I turned 70 today, a young age for an older person to be, but it is the oldest I have ever been by a long shot. It has been well over six decades since I learned in arithmetic how to carry the one, and the rest has sped by like microfiche.

One big juicy, messy, hard, joyful, quiet life. That’s what my 70 years have bequeathed me.

In my teens, already drinking and drugging, I didn’t expect to see 21, and at 21, out of control, I didn’t expect to see 30. At 30, I had published three books but, as a sober friend put it, was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.

Then at 32, I got clean and sober, the miracle of my life from which all other blessings flow. My son was born three years later. The apple fell close to the tree: My son went off the rails, too. He and his partner had a baby at 19, which had not been in my specific plans for him, but you know the old line: If you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans.

The baby, soon to get his learner’s permit, turned out to be the gift of a lifetime. My son got clean and sober 13 years ago, and the three of us grew up together. Then after a long search, I met this brilliant, kind writer guy and, three days after I started getting Social Security, I married him. Yesterday, I published my 20th book, called “Somehow.” Today, when I woke up, I was 70. Seventy!

I think that I am only 57, but the paperwork does not back this up. I don’t feel old, because your inside self doesn’t age. When younger people ask me when I graduated from high school and I say 1971, there’s a moment’s pause, as if this is inconceivable and I might as well have said 20 B.C. That’s when I feel my age. But I smile winsomely because, while I would like to have their skin, hearing, vision, memory, balance, stamina and focus, I would not go back even one year.

My older friends and I know a thing or two.

In general, though, I know how little I know. This is a big relief.

I know that my lifelong belief, that to be beyond reproach offers shelter and protection, is a lie. Shelter is an inside job, protection an illusion. We are as vulnerable as kittens. Love fends off the worst of it.

I know now that everyone is screwed up to some degree, and that everyone screws up. Phew. I thought for decades it was just me, that all of you had been issued owner’s manuals in second grade, the day I was home with measles. We are all figuring it out as we go. Aging is grad school.

I know a very little bit about God, or goodness, or good orderly direction. I am a believer, but I don’t trouble myself about ultimate reality, the triune nature of the deity or who shot the Holy Ghost. I say help a lot, and thanks, and are You kidding me??? Have You been drinking again, Friend?

I know about something I will call cloak hope, most obvious to me in the people who swooped in and helped me get sober in 1986, and swooped down again in 2012 for my child. In my case, an elderly sober woman named Ruby saw me in my utter, trembly hopelessness — afraid, smelly and arrogant; she swept in and took me under her wing. She wrapped her cloak around me and was the counternarrative to all I believed at 32, i.e., that I needed to figure things out, especially myself, and who to blame.

I know the beauty of shadows. Shadows show us how life can gleam in contrast. Sunshine might be dancing outside the window, but the wonder is in the variegation, with fat white clouds bunched up on the right casting shadows on the hills and gardens, and brushstrokes of gray clouds on the left and — most magical — the long narrow shawl of fog right across the top of the ridge. The day is saying, Who knows how the weather will morph, but meanwhile so much is possible. And that is life asserting itself.

I know life will assert itself. Knowing this means I have a shot at some measure of pliability, like a willow tree that is maybe having an iffy day.

I know everything is in flux, that all things will turn into other things. I am uncomfortable with this but less so than in younger years. Michael Pollan wrote, “Look into a flower, and what do you see? Into the very heart of nature’s double nature — that is, the contending energies of creation and dissolution, the spiring toward complex form and the tidal pull away from it.” So I don’t sweat feeling a little disoriented some days.

I have grown mostly unafraid of my own death, except late at night when I head to WebMD and learn that my symptoms are probably cancer.

I know and am constantly aware of how much we have all lost and are in danger of losing — I am not going to name names — and am awash with gratitude for lovely, funny things that are still here and still work.

I know how to let go now, mostly, although it is not a lovely Hallmark process, and when well-wishers from my spiritual community exhort me to let go and let God, I want to Taser them. But I know that when I finally tell a best friend of my thistly stuckness, the telling is the beginning of release. You have to learn to let go. Otherwise, you get dragged, or you become George Costanza’s father pounding the table and shouting, “Serenity now!”

I know that people and pets I adore will keep dying, and it will never be okay, and then it will, sort of, mostly. I know the cycle is life, death, new life, and I think this is a bad system, but it is the one currently in place.

I know I will space out and screw up right and left as I head out on this book tour, say things I wish I could take back, forget things, sometimes onstage, and lose things. I just will.

I recently went to Costa Rica, where my husband was giving a spiritual retreat, and I forgot my pants. My pants! And last month, I went to give a talk at a theater two states away and forgot to bring any makeup. I am quite pale, almost light blue in some places — think of someone from “Game of Thrones” with a head cold — and ghostly under bright lights. When I discovered this omission, I was wearing only tinted moisturizer, powder on my nose and light pink lip gloss.

I gave myself an inspiring pep talk on my inner beauty, the light within. And then I had a moment of clarity: I asked the person driving me to the venue to stop at CVS, where I bought blush and a lipstick that was accidentally brighter and glossier than I usually wear. I looked fabulous. Age is just a number when you still know how to shine. And I shone.

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• Seven Jurors Selected For Donald Trump’s Hush Money Case, Former President Attacks Judge For “Rushing This Trial” – Update

NPR Suspends Editor Who Penned Essay Criticizing Network For “Sorry Levels” Of Audience Trust, Liberal Bias

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NPR has put on temporary suspension the editor who penned an essay that criticized the network for losing the trust of listeners as it has covered the rise of Donald Trump and coverage of Covid, race and other issues.

Uri Berliner has been suspended for five days without pay, starting last Friday, according to NPR’s David Folkenflik.

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“That wouldn’t be a problem for an openly polemical news outlet serving a niche audience. But for NPR, which purports to consider all things, it’s devastating both for its journalism and its business model,” Berliner wrote. He also wrote that “race and identity became paramount in nearly every aspect of the workplace,” while claiming that the network lacked viewpoint diversity.

His essay set off a firestorm on the right, with Trump blasting the network and Fox News devoting extensive coverage to the criticism, along with calls for ending government funding for NPR.

In his essay, Berliner wrote that “defunding isn’t the answer,” but that its journalism needed to change from within. The network’s funding has been a target of conservatives numerous times in the past, but lawmakers ultimately have supported public radio.

Berliner shared his suspension notice with Folkenflik, who wrote that it was for failure to seek approval for outside work, as well as for releasing proprietary information about audience demographics.

Katherine Maher, who recently became CEO of the network, published a note to staff last week that appeared to take issue with Berliner’s essay, writing that there was “a criticism of our people on the basis of who we are.”

“Asking a question about whether we’re living up to our mission should always be fair game: after all, journalism is nothing if not hard questions,” Maher wrote. “Questioning whether our people are serving our mission with integrity, based on little more than the recognition of their identity, is profoundly disrespectful, hurtful, and demeaning.”

An NPR spokesperson did not immediately return a request for comment. The network told The Times that Maher is not involved in editorial decisions.

Some of Berliner’s colleagues have been vocal in their own criticism of his essay. Eric Deggans, the network’s TV critic and media analyst, wrote that Berliner “set up staffers of color as scapegoats.” He also noted that Berliner “didn’t seek comment from NPR before publishing. Didn’t mention many things which could detract from his conclusions.”

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90 Day 's Mike Youngquist Serves Natalie Official Divorce Papers amid His New Relationship

A tearful Natalie was supported by her friend, Josh, as Mike confirmed he's moved on for good

Kelly Wynne has been a TV writer at PEOPLE digital since 2021. Her work has been seen in Newsweek, where she acted as a reality TV and true-crime writer, Atwood Magazine and her mental health blog, The Chronically.

It’s official: Natalie Mordovtseva and Michael Youngquist are getting divorced. 

Mike served Natalie with divorce papers on Sunday’s finale of 90 Day: The Single Life through Debbie Johnson , who acted as the legal third party. The surprise caught a tearful Natalie off guard as she continued to evaluate what — and who — she wanted in her future. 

90 Day cast members slammed Mike for delivering the papers on TV, as well as for involving Debbie, who said she just wanted to support Natalie. “This has been coming for years,” Mike said. “It's not cruel on my part.” Of the backlash, he added, “We got married on national TV.”

Natalie was willing move on, offering to sign the papers on the spot. Her 90 Day costars talked her out of the rash decision, though, and encouraged her to seek legal counsel before signing anything. “I just ask [for] my snowboard and my stuff,” she said of what she wants from the divorce. 

It was far from Natalie’s only moment of tension on the episode. Fans know the Ukraine native broke up with Josh Weinstein during the season because he wasn’t offering a reciprocal level of commitment. During their time apart, Natalie approached Mike again intending to start a family. He reflected on the moment during the tell-all episode. 

“I was just shocked because we're absolutely not together,” he said. “Why am I going to donate my sperm knowing that I have a kid with her and we're not together? Like, that's not what I wanted. I've always just wanted a family.”

At the time, Mike said he wanted the option to pursue someone new — and he did. During the tell-all episode, Mike confirmed he’s in a new relationship. He began showing off his new romance on Instagram last June, though the woman's name has not yet been publicly identified.

“I absolutely love and adore her,” he said of his new relationship. “She just cares about me and wants to be with me for who I am, and I just feel really appreciated and loved by her.”

The episode kept Natalie in the spotlight and in her emotions. As the episode concluded, Josh stepped in to guide Natalie away from the pen. He proved to be more than just legal support, too, as Josh comforted Natalie backstage. 

“Don’t think about the negatives. This year is gonna be great for you,” he told Natalie during a long embrace. “We’re gonna make sure of that.” 

Natalie and Josh left the episode with an uncertain relationship status . He admitted they had some vast improvements in recent months and said he was open to starting a relationship with Natalie again. Only time will tell if the pair reconciles or splits for good — and if Josh is willing to give Natalie the family she dreams of. 

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

90 Day: The Single Life is over for now, but fans can keep up with the drama at 8 p.m. ET on Sunday nights, where 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After is currently airing.

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Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows

The relationship expert reads one of the most controversial modern love essays ever published..

This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email [email protected] with any questions.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

From “The New York Times,” I’m Anna Martin. This is “Modern Love.” Today, I’m talking to the most famous couples therapist in the world, Esther Perel. Esther’s books, “Mating in Captivity” and “State of Affairs,” have forced so many of us, myself included, to rethink our assumptions about love. Like maybe it’s unrealistic to expect the passion and fire we feel at the beginning of a relationship to last forever. And when one partner cheats on the other, what if it could actually bring the couple closer, instead of tearing them apart?

On her podcast, “Where Should We Begin,” Esther lets us eavesdrop on sessions with real couples. People come to her with impossible problems, and she somehow guides them to a breakthrough. She gives them hope. When I listen to Esther’s podcast, I feel like I’m getting a free therapy session, so I wasn’t surprised in the slightest when she told me that people come up to her in public all the time and ask her deeply personal questions.

The grocery store is one place, but airplanes is even better.

Oh, no, Esther. If I were you, I’d be really scared to fly.

[LAUGHS]: They’re suspended in the air, and they tell you lots of things. And it is often about, can trust be repaired when it’s been broken? Can you bring a spark back when it’s gone? Can you rekindle desire when it’s been dormant for so long? What do you do when you’re angry at yourself for having stayed when you think you should have left? Or what do you do when you’re angry at yourself when you’ve left and now you think you should have stayed?

You’re like, I’m just at the grocery store, man. I need to check out.

Clearly, people are struggling so much to be happy in long-term relationships that they’re cornering this woman basically everywhere she goes. And these things people ask Esther about, they’re exactly the kinds of high-stakes, make-or-break questions that come up in the essay she chose for our show today. It’s called “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity,” by Karin Jones.

Karin’s essay was one of the most controversial pieces ever published in the history of the “Modern Love” column. But when it comes to talking about sex and relationships, nothing is too taboo for Esther.

Esther Perel, welcome to “Modern Love.”

It’s a pleasure to be here.

So you’re going to read Karin Jones’s “Modern Love” essay. We’re going to talk all about infidelity. But before we get into that, I learned something about you that I need to know more about. You are fluent in nine languages. And you conduct therapy in seven of them? Is that true?

Yes. So I grew up in Belgium, in the Flemish part of Belgium, and I was educated in Flemish for 12 years. But we also spoke French and German and Polish and Yiddish at home.

So we had five languages in the house. And then I studied Spanish, Portuguese, Hebrew, and English. That comes to nine.

Would you ever do one more just to bring it to a solid 10?

I always wanted to study Arabic.

OK, in your free time, in your ample free time.

Are there certain languages that have better vocabulary for talking about the nuances of love and relationships than others?

That is a very difficult question to answer because my love language, the language in which I learned poetry, songs, novels, et cetera, was primarily French. And so, of course, I would say French. But that may be because I was inducted in it, rather than the language itself. What I can say is that certain cultures are more fluent in the language of feelings, love, relationships, and desire and sexuality than maybe English or Anglo cultures that are more pragmatic, more practical.

I think in therapy, sometimes, I find that there is certain cultures that allow me to speak differently about death, differently about the relationship of the individual to the collective. What I will say is this. In a therapy session, if a person tells me something and it needs to be said in his own language, I will ask them to translate it and to say it in their mother tongue, because you hear instantly the difference, the tone, the timber, the tremble.

And I know it. It’s like, I don’t even have to understand what they’re saying. I know that there is an authenticity and a truth to it that is very different. Sometimes, afterwards, I say, what did you say? But sometimes, I don’t even need to. I know when they say, “I feel alone,” “I ache for you,” “I miss you,” “where have you gone,” “I can’t forget you.” You don’t really need to understand the words to understand the effect.

Esther, the “Modern Love” essay you’re going to read for us today tackles a topic that I bet is very hard to talk about in almost any language. It’s called “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity” by Karin Jones. The author Karin is recently divorced, and she becomes the other woman to several men.

When I read that title, I kind of expect this story is going to be about all the sex she’s having or the secrets or how they’re hiding it. But you’ve worked with so many couples who are in the throes of dealing with cheating. So what does the word “infidelity” signal to you?

I wrote a book about infidelity. So I will say that one of my attempts in writing this book was to translate in writing the complexity of this experience that can be so shattering, that can fracture a family and an entire legacy. It needs more than just good, bad, victim, perpetrator, villain, saint. That there’s too much happening and for too many people that are involved to try to reduce it.

Infidelity is often about a lot of things, but sex. It’s about betrayal. It’s about violation of trust. It’s about lying. It’s about duplicity. It’s about deception. And sex is a piece of this, but that is not necessarily the only thing.

Oof. Esther, I am so excited to hear you read this. Whenever you’re ready.

OK. “What Sleeping with Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity” by Karin Jones.

“I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaison with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion. Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side. No, this discussion should happen between wives and husbands annually, the way we inspect the tire tread on the family car to avoid accidents.

A few years ago, while living in London, I dated married men for companionship while I processed the grief of being newly divorced.

When I created a profile on Tinder and on OkCupid saying I was looking for no strings attached encounters, plenty of single men messaged me, and I got together with several of them. But many married men messaged me, too.

After being married for 23 years, I wanted sex, but not a relationship. This is dicey because you can’t always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix. But with the married man, I guess that the fact that they had wives, children, and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. And I was right. They didn’t get overly attached, and neither did I. We were safe bets for each other.

I was careful about the men I met. I wanted to make sure they had no interest in leaving their wives or otherwise threatening all they had built together. In a couple of cases, the men I met were married to women who had become disabled and could no longer be sexual, but the husbands remained devoted to them.

All told, I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life. I had sex with fewer than half. Others, I texted or talked with, which sometimes felt nearly as intimate. Before I met each man, I would ask, why are you doing this? I wanted assurance that all he desired was sex. What surprised me was that these husbands weren’t looking to have more sex. They were looking to have any sex.

I met one man whose wife had implicitly consented to her husband having a lover because she was no longer interested in sex at all. They both, to some degree, got what they needed without having to give up what they wanted. But the other husbands I met would have preferred to be having sex with their wives, and for whatever reason, that wasn’t happening.

I know what it feels like to go off sex, and I know what it’s like to want more than my partner. It’s also a tall order to have sex with the same person for more years than our ancestors ever hoped to live. Then, at menopause, a woman’s hormones suddenly drop, and her desire can wane. At 49, I was just about there myself and terrified of losing my desire for sex. Men don’t have this drastic change, so we have an imbalance, an elephant-sized problem so burdensome and shameful, we can scarcely muster the strength to talk about it.

If you read the work of Esther Perel, the author of the book ‘State of Affairs,’ you’ll learn that for many wives, sex outside of marriage is their way of breaking free from being the responsible spouses and mothers they have to be at home. Married sex for them often feels obligatory. An affair is adventure. Meanwhile, the husbands I spent time with would have been fine with obligatory sex. For them, adventure was not the main reason for their adultery.

The first time I saw my favorite married man pick up his pint of beer, the sleeve of his well-tailored suit pulled back from his wrist to reveal a geometric kaleidoscope of tattoos. He was clean shaven and well-mannered with a little rebel yell underneath. The night I saw the full canvas of his tattoo masterpiece, we drank prosecco, listened to ‘80s music, and, yes, had sex.

We also talked. I asked him, what if you said to your wife, look, I love you and the kids, but I need sex in my life? Can I just have the occasional fling or a casual affair? He sighed. If I asked her that kind of question, it would kill her, he said. So you don’t want to hurt her, but you lie to her instead? Personally, I’d rather know, I said.

It’s not necessarily a lie if you don’t confess the truth. It’s kind of to stay silent, he said. I’m just saying I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to be afraid of talking honestly about my sex life with the man I’m married to, and that includes being able to at least raise the subject of sex outside of marriage, I said. Good luck with that, he said.

I never convinced any husband that he can be honest about what he was doing, but they were mostly good-natured about it, like a patient father responding to a child who keeps asking why, why, why. Maybe I was being too pragmatic about the issues that are loaded with guilt, resentment, and fear. After all, it’s far easier to talk theoretically about marriage than to navigate it.

But my attitude is that if my spouse were to need something I couldn’t give him, I wouldn’t keep him from getting it elsewhere, as long as he did so in a way that didn’t endanger our family. I suppose I would hope his needs would involve fishing trips or beers with friends, but sex is basic.

Physical intimacy with other human beings is essential to our health and well-being. So how do we deny such a need to the one that we care about most? If our primary relationship nourishes and stabilizes us, but lacks intimacy, we shouldn’t have to destroy our marriage to get that intimacy somewhere else. Should we?

I didn’t have a full-on affair with the tattooed husband. We slept together maybe four times over a few years. More often, we talked on the phone. After our second night together, though, I could tell this was about more than sex for him. He was desperate for affection. He said he wanted to be close to his wife, but couldn’t because they were unable to get past their fundamental disconnect — lack of sex. That led to a lack of closeness, which made sex even less likely, and then turned into resentment and blame.

I’m not saying the answer is non-monogamy. That can be rife with risks and unintended entanglements. I believe the answer is honesty and dialogue, no matter how frightening. Lack of sex in marriage is common, and it shouldn’t lead to shame and silence. By the same token, an affair doesn’t have to lead to the end of a marriage. What if an affair, or ideally, simply, the urge to have one, can be the beginning of a necessary conversation about sex and intimacy?

What these husbands couldn’t do was have the difficult discussion with their wives that would force them to tackle the issues at the root of their cheating. They tried to convince me that they were being kind by keeping their affairs secret. They seemed to have convinced themselves. But deception and lying are ultimately corrosive, not kind.

In the end, I had to wonder if what these men couldn’t face was something else altogether — hearing why their wives no longer wanted to have sex with them. It’s much easier after all to set up an account on Tinder.”

Thanks so much for that reading, Esther. You know, it’s so funny because Karin Jones directly quotes you in her piece. And I feel like that is the first time ever we’ve had someone read an essay where they’re directly quoted.

Did anything jump out at you as you were reading?

What jumps out is she tackles a lot of different things — the subject of what is sexual aliveness, what is it that people actually lose when they stop being sexual with their partner, and how that loss of intimacy makes the sex even more complicated. She talked about the loss, the longing that this man has. I’ve often said that at the heart of affairs, you find duplicity and cheating and betrayal, but you also find longing and loss for the life that one had, for the parts of oneself that have been denied.

When we come back, I talk to Esther about the harsh criticism this essay got and why Esther thinks Karin Jones deserves more credit. Stay with us.

So Esther, this essay by Karin Jones was kind of a lightning rod when it was published. A ton of people were very critical of the author, saying she was sleeping with these men, but then also having conversations with them where she was like, it’s very wrong of you not to tell your wife what you’re up to. Why do you think this essay got so much backlash?

I think that the reaction to stories of infidelity are often intense. It’s a subject for which people are very quickly dogmatic because they have experienced the effects of it.

When I am in an audience, like if I was to ask, have you been affected by the experience of infidelity in your life, either because one of your parents was unfaithful or because you yourself had a child of an illicit affair, or because you had a friend on whose shoulder somebody weeping, or you had a confidant of someone who is in a complete bliss of an affair, or because you are the third person in the triangle, and about 80 percent of the people will raise their hand.

Wow. I mean, 80 percent sounds like a surprisingly large number, but when you explain it like that with different tendrils of an affair that affect everyone around the affair, not just the people in it, it makes total sense.

And it raises intense feelings in people. Karin Jones, she may have gotten the range of it, but you will hear more loudly the ones who say, you are a homewrecker, which, by the way, does not exist in the masculine.

Right, right.

The homewrecker is always a woman because the woman is the one who says yes, and therefore, if the woman hadn’t said yes, then he wouldn’t be able to do it. And then he would not be wrecking his family.

Yeah, there’s no other man either, by the way. It’s always the other woman.

Huh, there’s no other man.

Not in any of nine languages you speak.

No, because there’s never been another man who necessarily was willing to live in the shadow of a woman for his entire life.

That is so fascinating.

Her lover, [INAUDIBLE] you know her lover, but the other woman usually means that she lives in the shadow. She doesn’t just have a secret. She is the secret. That is the hardest thing about it. When people are writing to her, you can ask yourself, are they looking from the perspective of what it meant for her, or are they looking from the perspective of what it did to me, or to us?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of the criticism directed at Karin Jones, it seems, is coming from that perspective of saying, look what she did. Look at the harm she caused. Look at the pain she caused.

Which it is. Which it is.

Right, not discounting that, but it is interesting because her piece is so much about meaning making, right? That’s the whole conceit of her essay, is mining these experiences for meaning, and yet, people came with criticism. I wonder if this is like a kind of unfair question, but I wonder if there is an ethical way to be the other person. Is there a responsible way to do it without participating in hurt?

That depends. That depends. If you think the whole thing is unethical and is an egregious betrayal of trust and violation, then you will say no. I think the responsibility lies on the person who goes out, not on the lover.

Here’s what many people often say, is like, if you had asked me or if you had told me, but you made a decision without me. You made a decision about our marriage that did not involve me at all. And fair point. Of course, they know for a fact, too, that if they had been asked, they would have said no. But there is the things that you say after, and there is the things that you say before.

So, ultimately, I feel like I hear you agreeing with Karin Jones here that there are really important conversations that need to be happening between these husbands and their wives that actually don’t even have that much to do with Karin. Can you tell me more about that?

The conversation that Karin Jones would like these men to have with their wives is the conversations that take place in my book “Mating in Captivity,” because “Mating in Captivity” explored the dilemmas of desire inside relationships and why do people cease wanting. And could they want what they already have? And why does good sex fade, even in couples who still love each other as much as ever? And why do kids often deliver a fatal erotic blow?

What happens when they don’t have this conversation and they go elsewhere — and it’s not just a conversation about monogamy. It’s really a conversation of, what does sex mean to you? What do you want to experience in sex? Is it a place for connection?

Is it a place for transcendence, for spiritual union, to be naughty, to finally not be a good citizen, to be playful, to be taken care of, to surrender, to be safely dominant? What parts of you do you connect with through sexuality, rather than how often do we have sex, and we never have sex, and why don’t we do it more. So, that is a very different conversation.

But as Karin points to in her essay, and as you certainly point to in your book, those conversations are so difficult to have, even though this is the person we’re supposed to be the closest to. Why is that?

Because we grow up learning to be silent about sex and never talk about it. And then suddenly, we are expected to talk about it with the person we lov. Or in other words, sex is dirty, but save it for the one you love. It’s like we have very little practice talking about it.

We don’t get any of it in schools. Certainly, most families don’t talk about it either. And when we talk about sexuality, we talk about the dangers and the diseases and the dysfunctions. We don’t talk about intimacy. We don’t actually mix the word “sexuality” and “relationships” as one whole.

Yeah, and I mean, if we don’t talk about intimacy or the lack of it with a partner, that can, in some cases, lead to people going outside the marriage to find that intimacy they’re lacking in it. I’m thinking about Karin’s favorite married man, the one with all the tattoos. He says, it’s not necessarily a lie if you don’t confess the truth. It’s kinder to stay silent. In your experience working with couples, is he right? Is that true?

This is a very cultural question.

Because you live in a society here that believes in the moral cure of truth. But there are many societies for whom truth and honesty are not measured by the confession, but they are measured by what it will be like for the other person to walk with this on the street, meaning that they will consider the confession often as cruelty.

That, so what? So now you’ve got it off your chest. So now you’re less guilty, and now I have to live with this? Why don’t you just keep this to yourself, kind of thing. This is very cultural because in the United States, that is not the common view.

The common view is that the confession is the best state, even if you’re going to wreck the other person’s life for the next five years to come, which — and I am left with a question mark. But when I answer this question, I ask people about their own cultural codes as well. I do not impose mine. And mine fluctuates depending on the context. I think these questions are highly contextual, more than dogmatic.

We’ve talked about how there’s so many unsaid things between a couple that can lead to distance and infidelity. If a couple is feeling themselves drifting apart from each other emotionally, sexually, both, what are some things you could encourage them to do that might help?

Hmm. I like to coach people to do letter writing. Sometimes I make one person turn their back, and I make the other person write a letter on the back of the other person.

Oh, physically on the back?

Yes, but it’s a fake. You’re writing — you’re pretending to write, but you’re writing on the back. But that way, you don’t see the person.

Interesting.

Hi, Anna. This is something that I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time. And I give them the prompt. We never talk much about sexuality between us. For some reason, I decided a long time ago that you wouldn’t want to. But maybe it was I who didn’t know how to. And basically, they write these whole letters, in which they end up telling each other much of what they have never spoken.

I love that. What a kind and beautiful and compassionate way of easing into a conversation you’ve been afraid of having. Esther Perel, thank you so much for that idea. And thank you for talking with me today.

Thank you for having me.

Esther Perel is on tour in the US right now. Her show is called An Evening with Esther Perel, The Future of Relationships, Love, and Desire. Check her website for more details and to buy tickets. She told me she’s going to create an erotic experience in these theaters, so you do not want to miss that.

“Modern Love” is produced by Julia Botero, Chrstina Djossa, Reva Goldberg, Davis Land, and Emily Lange. It’s edited by our executive producer Jen Poyant and Davis Land. The “Modern Love” theme music is by Dan Powell. Original music by Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Pat McCusker, Rowan Niemisto, Carole Sabouraud, and Diane Wong.

This episode was mixed by Daniel Ramirez. Our show was recorded by Maddy Masiello. Digital production by Mahima Chablani and Nell Gallogly. The “Modern Love” column is edited by Daniel Jones. Miya Lee is the editor of “Modern Love” projects. I’m Anna Martin. Thanks for listening.

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• February 14, 2024   •   28:39 Un-Marry Me!
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Hosted by Anna Martin

Produced by Julia Botero ,  Christina Djossa ,  Reva Goldberg and Emily Lang

Edited by Jen Poyant and Davis Land

Engineered by Daniel Ramirez

Original music by Pat McCusker ,  Marion Lozano ,  Carole Sabouraud ,  Rowan Niemisto ,  Diane Wong and Dan Powell

Listen and follow Modern Love Apple Podcasts | Spotify

‘at the heart of affairs, you find duplicity and cheating and betrayal, but you also find longing and loss for the life that one had, for the parts of oneself that have been denied’.

Over the last two decades, Esther Perel has become a world-famous couples therapist by persistently advocating frank conversations about infidelity, sex and intimacy. Today, Perel reads one of the most provocative Modern Love essays ever published: “ What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity ,” by Karin Jones.

In her 2018 essay, Jones wrote about her experience seeking out no-strings-attached flings with married men after her divorce. What she found, to her surprise, was how much the men missed having sex with their own wives, and how afraid they were to tell them.

Jones faced a heavy backlash after the essay was published. Perel reflects on why conversations around infidelity are still so difficult and why she thinks Jones deserves more credit.

Esther Perel is on tour in the U.S. Her show is called “An Evening With Esther Perel: The Future of Relationships, Love & Desire.” Check her website for more details.

Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang and Christina Djossa. The show is edited by Davis Land and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello. It features original music by Pat McCusker, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Carole Sabouraud, Rowan Niemisto and Diane Wong. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Larissa Anderson, Kate LoPresti, Lisa Tobin, Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Reyna Desai, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.

Thoughts? Email us at [email protected] . Want more from Modern Love ? Read past stories . Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter . We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “ Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption ” and “ Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less .”

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