essay about my friend in french

Never Say “Mon Ami” in French (And What to Say Instead)

• June 2, 2020

Today, I want to talk to you about one of the most common clichés in French — “ mon ami ” — and why you should never use it in French conversations.

People in France never use “ mon ami ” the way you might use “my friend” in English. It’s another common mistake that I hear all the time, like using “ bien fait ” or saying bonjour twice.

“But Géraldine,” you might say, “ I do hear it a lot in movies! Even with Lumière in Beauty and the Beast! Are you saying Disney lied to me?”

Yes, I am! If you use “ mon ami ” (on its own) in France, you’ll sound like a tourist who only knows French clichés. Let’s fix that.

Today, we’ll look into why you shouldn’t say “ mon ami ” so much, and what to say instead.

Bonjour I’m Géraldine, your French teacher. Welcome to Comme une Française. Today, like every Tuesday, I’ll help you get better at speaking and understanding everyday French.

C’est parti !

Want all the vocabulary of the lesson ?

Want to read this lesson later , 1) “mon ami” is just a cliché.

Mon ami (or mon amie in the feminine) means “my friend.”

If there’s a French character in an American movie, they basically have to say it at some point. Like in this scene of Beauty and the Beast.

It’s kind of like saying Bonjour with a really heavy accent. Sure, it shows that the character is French, but it’s not something you’d actually hear in France.

Using “ Mon ami ” alone as “ Hello my friend” will make you sound like you only know French clichés – and you deserve better!

It’s basically the oral version of Marcel Gotlib’s SuperDupont : a funny stereotypical representation that doesn’t exist.

By the way, in the French (dubbed) version, Lumière is… Italian! At least that’s what his accent implies , with his rolled R’s – for example in “ Y’a l’pour et y’a l’contre ” (= “There are pros and cons,” casual spoken French) Can you hear it?

Other works used the same “trick” of turning a French character (in the original version) into an Italian one (in the French dubbed version), like Pepe le Pew / Pépé le Putois.

2) “Mon ami” in French: what it really means

Mon ami(e) is used for very close friends.

You can use it in a sentence. To introduce your friend, for example: Je te présente mon amie Marie. = “I introduce you to my friend Marie” / “Here’s my friend Marie.”

But using it on its own, such as Bonjour, mon ami, comment ça va ? to mean “Hello my friend” , is a cliché.

When I was working in Leeds, England on July 14th, kind people would wish me a “Happy Bastille day” in French. That’s very nice! But “Le jour de la Bastille” does NOT exist in French – it’s just “ Le 14 Juillet ” . Another misconception!

You can find more in my lesson: Le 14 Juillet

3) “Mon ami” : What you can say instead

Instead of “ mon ami ”, you can simply use your friend’s name. For instance: Je suis là, mon ami ! → Je suis là, Marc ! = I’m here, my very close friend! → I’m here, Marc!

Or you can also just say… nothing!

Bonjour, mon ami. → Bonjour. = Hello, my friend. → Hello.

The scary thing is, this is a common mistake you might be making without even realizing it. And it’s not the only one!

You’ll find more examples of common French mistakes in this short playlist , like using “ Bien fait ” for “ well done ” (when it actually means “ Serves you right ”), or saying “ bonjour ” twice in the same day to the same person!

À tout de suite. I’ll see you in the next video!

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Allez, salut 🙂

Join the conversation!

The name’s Gambit, mon ami! Remember it!

Mon amie, je ne suis pas d’accord 🙂

I don’t agree with this opinion about using « mon ami ». This article, as well as the author’s responses in the comments, is not researched; it is a personal opinion.

First of all, there is no language rule against using clichés, or against using an expression with a twist of irony or humor (see this comment’s first line).

Second, the use of « mon ami » will not sound cliché depending on what country you are in and on the immediate context. French is widely and correctly spoken in many places outside France, although many French-speakers have trouble accepting that reality.

I am a native mother tongue French speaker from Quebec, and I hear French used in ways that sound funny even just inside Quebec, including what seems like grammar mistakes from immigrants from France. As long as you get the gender and number of « mon ami » right in your sentence, the rest is all about context.

THANK YOU FOR THIS (these) useful, informative videos. I’ve found your “insider”/native guidance quite helpful. You packed a lot into such a short video. BUT,,, what about using “MES AMIS”? When, for example, you arrive for a dinner with friends, all of whom arrived before you, to address the table? Merci

Mes amis can sound formal, as in saying ‘Friends…’ except if they are people you know well, in which case it will sound cute/warm depending on how you say it and what follows.

If you’re calling out to a group in an informal way, you might say ‘Les amis’, which sounds something like ‘You guys’

Very interesting,thank you

How about Poirot in Agatha Christie’s films? does he says “mon ami” because he is Belgian and not French? LOL

How about n’est pas, which I hear and read a lot from non-French speakers? Isn’t it n’est ce pas and therefore pronounced somewhat differently? (I am not French and I am not a wannabe. I can barely speak English. I’m an American.)

“n’est-ce pas” is like “isn’t it”, used as part of a question. “n’est pas” is the modifier “not”.

Like the details for the (e.i.n’est pas—–n’est -ce pas )very close ,similar, modifiers;!expression differs slightly .

Merci our vos cours… Often in films I hear a girl or young woman addressed <>, why not <>?

Bonjour Geraldine et Arthur, In Quebec my teen and 20-something children use “ma blonde” or “mon chum” to refer to a girlfriend or boyfriend informally, in the casually dating sense. I think it’s adorable as it can be tricky to introduce or talk about someone that’s more than a friend, but not long term relationship that everyone knows. What would be a similar ‘label’ for a person you’re dating in France, I’m not “copain” would always work. Maybe these Canadian French words are more specific to the generation as well…

Bonjour Mélanie, In France, you would use “copain” or “copine” or “petit copain” or “petite copine” and there is no direct equivalent to “ma blonde” or “mon chum” unless one wishes to use “mon amoureux” or “mon amoureuse”. You can also use “mon Jules” or “ma Julie” which may get closer to the “blonde” and “chum” in Québec. Fabien Comme Une Française Team

Are you in México?

No, I am at your house…

Is there some form of saying “mon ami/e” to refer to your boyfriend/girlfriend? Or is that “mon petit”?

Bonjour Sara,

You can use “mon copain” or “ma copine” in reference to a boyfriend or a girlfriend, even though it has the meaning of a pal/buddy as well.

Belle journée,

Fabien Comme Une Française Team

Hi Fabien, What about “mon compagnon/ma compagne” in reference to a boyfriend and girlfriend? Or are those nouns used only by “older” people? ☺️ Merci bien!

Bonjour Kiki, Oui, “un compagnon” est celui ou celle qui partage la vie de quelqu’un comme époux/épouse ou comme concubin. Merci et belle journée, Fabien Comme Une Française Team

Mon amie la Rose – d’aprés Françoise Hardy, caused me some difficulty, but Géraldine sorted it:

This is so informative. I got used to Cajun French but never learned the ral French.

Instead of using bonjour more than once, try doing and saying as mon chien “BOOZER”…..He says…”BONE APPETIT ” all of the time. many times a day !! Just stumbled onto your site, Geraldine, and it’s terrific, as are all the comments and questions. Kudos !

This just makes me really sad, like I’m a fool for even trying to speak french. Why even try if you’re going to be this judgmental for trying to call someone “my friend”? 🙁

Dear Alexander,

On Comme une Française, I guide students in the language to make them avoid the common mistakes of the language and the culture. It’s not a matter of being judgmental.

Love your tips, always! There’s clearly no judgement happening there and the information is very useful for those truly making an effort to speak with proper pronunciation as well as for those wanting to speak as locals do. If that’s not important I think it’s always been made clear on this site that your efforts are always appreciated by French speakers and it’s up to you how deeply you want to dive. 🙂

I noticed your examples are all cases of one individual speaking to another individual, but does it still applies in more general statements? Like if a public speaker says it to a group to imply a more general intimacy, or maybe in fiction literature where a character is talking more directly to the reader. For example, I think I’ve heard the phrase ‘Au contraire, mes amis’ used a couple of times, but that was in English language fiction, so I’m wondering if that would still come off as cliche if it was part of a full French sentence to a speaker.

Bonjour Danielle, You can use it, knowing that it’s a cliché. What matters here is knowing that it is one. Then you can make what you want of it. Because it adds a certain effect to your sentence.

Like “Hello Old Chap” in English.

Why isn’t it ‘ma amie’ for female friends? Or is it the fact that you’d have two vowels right next to each other?

Bonjour Alex,

Thanks for your question. Mon, ton or son are used before a feminine word starting with a vowel or silent -h. This is to help with pronunciation. Thus, you will have mon amie (even though it is a feminine noun).

I hope this helps.

Bonne journée,

So helpful!

Dear Friends at Comme une Française, I enjoy your blog and find it helpful. Having lived in Paris for three years as a professor, I do cringe when one makes blanket statements like “no one in France says _________________ (fill in the blank.) In my experience, French is fluid, at least in Paris, and French people speak with a variety of vocabulary, word choices, et cetera. Yes, there are some absolutes. However, it is a danger to make blanket linguistic statements. These types of statements might be taken as arrogant and elitist. When I moved to France in 2018, I was informed that “No one says , enchanté”, only to be greeting countless times with, enchanté. Thank you!

So, what could you say when seeing a french friend after many, five, years besides just saying their name? We had a French foreign exchange student, a young woman, live with us years back. She has visited us many times since, our daughter stayed with her family in Paris several times, we have had dinner at her parents house in Paris … anyhow, she is like another daughter to me. We are all meeting up in Dublin soon (hopefully covid continues to settle down) and I wanted to joyfully express my affection for her in french when we first see her …

Bonjour Alan, Saying her name and being cheerful is great! It will convey what you want to share with her. You can also say “je suis tellement content de te revoir” or “tu nous as tellement manqué !”

How would you pronounce the French last name of my family Bolduc in French language???

Bolduc = /boldyk/ – u pronounced like in salut

i’m a American trying to learn french is realy nice

I love everything about this! My family is francophone northern Ontario/Quebec border. I’ve been speaking Acadian English? French? Back and forth? My whole life? So much slang, so many interpretations. Geraldine, thank you for clarifying.

Hello! I just found this article and I love the comment section! I have a question, this man I have been speaking with (dating?) for months now has referred to me as his girlfriend in many occasions. But then he wrote “ma très chère amie” to me that got me confused. Does that mean just a friend? Thank you for your help!

Thanks for your question, Mia. This would translate as “My very dear friend”.

What should you say instead of saying bonjour twice to the same person on the same day?

You could use “rebonjour” in certain situations.

Another drawn out way for the French to incessantly criticize Americans- even if they are trying to speak the language and say something pleasant.

Can I use Bon appetite mon amis ??

Bonjour Viktoria,

Oui, or simply, “bon appétit”.

Bonnes fêtes,

Mes amies in France say mon ami or mon Cher ami quite often, oddly enough more to be polite to acquaintances than dear friends

is there a French word for ‘heck’, the American expression?

Zut could work. It’s like drat or heck. https://www.wordreference.com/fren/zut

Yes, you can say “mince, zut” or even “sacré”. A lot of options based on the context.

In British English we are continually using terms of endearment with strangers – most commonly “mate” (also pal, love, pet, duck, hinny, fella, chum, mucker and many more, with some being gendered terms). Basically just for anyone whose name we don’t know.

Is there a French equivalent?

Bonjour Bob,

Oui, tout à fait ! We also have terms of endearment in French, I included a few of them at the end of this message.

Bien à toi,

Mon amour: my love Mon chou: My cabbage, but chou can also be short for a French cream puff called chou chantilly or chou à la crème. Chouchou: Derived from chou Mon ange: My angel Mon bébé: My baby Doudou: What kids call their favorite toy or blankie Mon coeur: My heart Mon trésor: My treasure Ma chérie (F), mon chéri (M): My darling Ma puce: My flea

Thanks Fabien, but I was referring to terms you might use with a stranger or someone with whom you were not close.

Typically, you will not use those terms of endearment with someone with whom you are not close. You may use the name or the title instead (Monsieur, Madame, etc.)

Flea..??????are you serious 😅😅😅😅 nobody likes fleas in England….sounds insulting. Might as well say my cockroach….lol

I agree. The Great Plague of London, the epidemic that ravaged London, England, from 1665 to 1666 has city records to indicate that some 68,596 people died during the epidemic, though the actual number of deaths is suspected to have exceeded 100,000 out of a total population estimated at 460,000. The plague was caused from fleas living on rodents. The fleas would bite humans and spread the disease, so no wonder no one in England would want to use the word flea as a term of endearment. I never heard about this great pandemic until I studied world history as a freshman in college. It had to be horrifying for all of London and the undertakers couldn’t even keep up with burials.

I have a dear friend who is fluent in French. She studied at Sorbonne in Paris. Speaking with her will help me learn faster. I love French and the country and people! Can I say to her Tres Chere Amie? Merci!

You can certainly use this expression with your friend, however particularly so in writing.

What does Ma douce amie mean? is it romantic or sweet. a man said it to me after bouts of flirting and giving mixed signals.

Bonjour Rose,

Indeed, even though “ma douce amie” means “my sweet/precious friend”, it can have a bit of a romantic connotation.

That being said, this is very common in Cajun French culture and used very often. That also being said Cajun French is completely foreign to French spoken in France as it’s a broken dialect of Canadian French.

Really like your Website. I have met a frensh man that I really like so now I am trying to pick up some frensh words. Did I understood you right, that I can use “mon ami” if it is a close/special friend like the man I met ;-)? We are not at the point yet were I would call him “mon cheri” 🙂

Yes, oui, tout à fait, it is possible to use “mon ami” for a close friend.

This is literally the first and only page I’ve read from your lesson thus far. So when I engage in some more, it is then I will comment on something. Merci beaucoup

I do like this but am from Oklahoma and. Am afraid no one could understand my french. I ha e a very slow and southern drawl.some people in us can’t understand my english.

I’m trying to learn French and I came across this when trying to figure out what “ami” means and I love this website already!

Thanks Venus!

Keep browsing around on the website, lessons and courses, and have a wonderful day 🙂

– Arthur, writer for Comme une Française

You may present your friend as in “voici mon ami Pierre,but you dont say “bonjour mon ami to a close friend ,perriod!

Love the way you explain it – am sold on the concept already!

Merci, mon ami!

I think the use of “my friend” in English is also a bit odd. It’s can be used in introducing someone and not sound weird (“Hi, John, this is my friend, Sharon”) or it can sound strangely old-fashioned or even anachronistic (“Hello, my friend”). Most people don’t use “my friend” in a standard greeting. I had a professional acquaintance who said it often to me in phone conversations but I would never say it to an actual close friend. So I can see the subtleties in using “mon ami” in French.

Now that I think of it, I’ve heard it said by people, in English, but they are usually foreign and I’m wondering if it’s commonly used in Spanish. Mi amigo for example.

The usage of mi amigo – or similar – is common in Spanish, but the context is different. It is extremely regional what is used, for me (I speak Columbian Spanish) I would be comfortable talking with acquaintances with the opening ‘Bienvenidos, mi Amigo.’ but I would not say that to a stranger. If I was talking to a stranger, I would most likely use ‘Bienvenidos, señor.’ or ‘Bienvenidos, señora/señorita’ for their respective gender/age. Another option for saying this would be to just drop the honorific and use implied target with ‘Bienvenidos’. I hope this helps!

*Colombian. Also, Bienvenidos is plural, so you would need to use Bienvenido with all the examples you presented.

Hi Harise. Yes, it is used in some parts of México. The intention is to make anyone feel welcome. There are other words that can be used with the same purpose depending of the region the person is from: pariente (relative), primo (cousin), etc.

Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end, we’d sing and dance, forever and a day 🙂 When I use “my friend” in English (because I’m English) in that context, it’s either in a jovial manner (and toward a genuine friend), or a very serious manner toward a friend. The only reason I found this article was because i just told a friend to “kip well mon ami” and then I wondered what the full French for “sleep well my friend” was (dors bien mon ami, apparently). I think in any situation I’d use “mon ami” in French, it would be exactly the same as I’d use “my friend” in English. So yeah, in films it’s overused as the sole bit of French a French character might use, and that certainly isn’t going to be common. But as a jokingly formal (to a close friend), or very serious matter, I suspect it’s exactly the same as in English.

I really enjoyed my first look at commeunefrancais.com – can’t wait to dig deeper

Merci Lisa!

Good evening Geraldine I just had to comment. You look like a young Judy Garland. So sweet! Hope to visit France soon once this health crisis is over and we can fly in comfort with good food and French wine! Regards Tommy

Absurdité! Pure Merde, eh, Mon Amie!

Thank you for your lessons Geraldine. In the meantime, I am wandering, when I have to use in French “au revoir” and when “a la prochaine” or “a bientot” (sorry, I can’t use the french characters easily on my computer)? What is the difference between these words?

From my point of view, “au revoir” is always used whenever you are not so close to the person or that you don’t know when you might meet him again. Like for a doctor, a medical person or the owner of a shop you’re going often. For this last example you can also used “à la prochaine” or “à bientôt” as you like to see him again soon or regularly (but not for a doctor), like a friend or a good Office colleague we also say “A plus”, A pronounced “Ah” like in M”a”m”a” and written A+ in messages. Hope it’s more clear for you this way.

Hi Mike, ‘Au revoir’ and ‘À la prochaine’ are interchangeable. However, I would NOT use ‘À bientôt’ if I’m not expecting to see or talk (even on the phone) with that person again within a week, since “soon” cannot be weeks or months! ;=)

On most computers, you can use the Windows symbol and the space bar to toggle between languages.

I usually type in English and then toggle to French for just some of the letters I need to appear as French characters. For example, I type

ca va, Mike

then press Windows and space bar together which brings up French characters, hover over the c of ca va, and press the cedilla key; which is the number 9 on the keyboard. Then I toggle back to English characters.

So, I get ça va

Remember to toggle back to English or you will get this. çq vq: ?ike

Hope this helps

So very helpful, thank you!

Terrible article. So I shouldn’t use Mon Ami to refer to my friend, I should just use their name or nothing at all? than what do I say when I want to point that they are my friend who is not my best friend? 2/10, have had better French lessons on Google translate

You just say “Mon pote”. French here, this article is very true. You can refer to a friend as Mon Ami(e) but I would never use these words in a direct conversation with said friend. There might be some cultural aspects here which means that the scope of what friend means in France’s French is different to what it means in English (or even in French speaking places outside of France). No need to be insulting, just accept that there are some untold meanings behind words and that not all words have the exact same meaning in all languages. Cheers

PTDR I’m French and no this article isn’t true. Nothing EVER prevents you from saying “mon ami”. You might just sound a bit old timey but not everyone is familiar enough to say Mon pote or Poto

No need to be insulting. Napoleon. Geraldine is French and is absolutely correct.

But what if I was introducing a friend? Like ¨This is my friend!¨ would I use something different or just like ¨this is (friendsname)¨?

Good question 🙂

1 – You CAN use “Je te présente Claude, c’est mon ami / amie.” (= Here’s Claude, he/she is my friend.) You would be understood – but a French person would assume there are cultural differences between you. A French person wouldn’t really say that – it would be really intimate, and/or it could even be a euphemism for “lover.”

2 – As a French person, if I were to introduce a friend, I’d say something like “C’est Martin, on se connaît de la chorale.” (= Here’s Martin, we know each other from the choir club.) or “C’est Martin, un pote de lycée.” (= Here’s Martin, a friend from high school.) –> “Pote” is a more informal, less intimate, synonym for “friend.” It can apply to women too, but we would rather use “une copine.”

The extra mile for advanced learners: The show Bref (= “In short,” 2-min episodes) did a beautiful story on the subject. How “un pote” can become “un ami.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbGrzgcO68A

Have a great day, – Arthur, writer for Comme une Française

Thank you, that was really helpful

Thank you Arthur, it is really helpful.

I am French Canadian. When I reply “mon ami” in an email , it simply means “my friend” (usually someone you consider as a friend be it personal or at work) Merci mon ami! … Thank you my friend! (Feminine: Mon amie!)

So hercule poirot is stupid for saying mon ami all the time?

Hi Penny! Hercule Poirot is speaking old-fashioned French, with a bit of extra cliché to make him “sound French.” That works well for his settings! That’s not something we’d recommend doing for speaking in France, or something that French people do in everyday life 🙂

Keep in mind, Poirot is Dutch…maybe that changes the tone of his quirks.

Poirot is Belgian!

Remember that Hercule Poirot speaks French but is Belgian not Dutch ! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hercule_Poirot

Very concise explanation!

Not really, if it’s someone he knows well (my friend) same rule as in english!

Remember that Hercule Poirot speaks French but is Belgian. In Belgium they have other subtile things that they say.

So hercule pioirot is stupid for saying mon ami all the time?

Merci les leçons sont très divertissants et utiles. Vous avez le style, aussi.

But, was it that way or just today’s French? Like, Disney’s Lumiere was around 1480s. Maybe that era’s “mon ami” differs than today’s? Of course it was made recently and for today’s audience lol, but I’m curious that perhaps in historical perspective what sounds wrong today might sounded okay back then. Maybe not in your expertise, I mean, history, but aren’t you curious about this? 😉 Thanks.

So Fabo! With the cartoons included in the lesson. Tellement excellent avec les bd ajouté dans le leçon

Thanks Mary!

(- Arthur, auteur pour Comme une Française)

Merci Géraldine ce leçon est très utile merci Anne

Bonjour tous ! I hope I can say that. Great practical lesson – i never knew not to use that. Could anyone help…. regarding Bonjour… if we bump into the same person/shop assistant/work colleague etc again…. then what are we meant to say…?

Rebonjour…

Now THAT is funny!

could one also say just RE?

The English speaking world is awash with expressions believed to be used by the French ~ mon brave, mon vieux, mon ami, mon cher, mes amis and goodness knows what else .. But the movie Frenchman ~ Englishman Claude Rains does it brilliantly as Captain Louis Renault in that timeless classic Casablanca, and all in an impeccable English accent … “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here.” “Your winnings sir.” “Oh, thank you very much.” Just fabulous 😀 A great lesson Géraldine, and I love the old cartoons.

Merci, Geraldine. J’aime beaucoup vos commentaires et votre maniere d’explication.

Salut Geraldine You say never use “Mon ami” ? What about if you qualify it? “Merci, ma chère amie” It is OK? My friend in Burgundy uses “mon ami” a lot in messages like “Merci mon ami pour ta magnifique carte” or ” Belle journée mon cher ami ” I am not sure I have understood when you should not use it…. Bisous Brian

Hi Brian W., As long as it’s part of a ‘long context’ and qualify it, you can use ‘Mon ami(e)’ like in English with ‘my dear friend’, etc. But not in expression(s) with only ‘hello,’ or ‘bye, bye’. Then it might sound sarcastic or pedantic, even. Just, as suggested, use their name, ‘Mark’, or Marie’ etc. if you really want to add something to that concise (but totally appropriate and sufficient) ‘hello’ (= ‘bonjour’) or ‘see you’ (= ‘au revoir’). Hope this helps.

Can you use bien fait for work that is done well?

Short answer: no.

Long answer: Not on its own. You can say “C’est un travail bien fait.” (= It’s well done work), but the expression “Bien fait !” on its own wouldn’t mean that. (French people would probably understand your mistake and your intention, though, and not be offended for it.)

Can I say “un travail bien fait monsieur” ?

Beautiful blouse Geraldine!

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Write an essay in French

Beyond the fact that writing an essay in French can be a good practice to improve your writing, you may also be asked to write one during your schooling. So, it is important to study the topic of French essay writing and get some useful tips..

» Tips and tricks for your French essay » The structure of a French essay » Sample French Essay

Tips and tricks for your French essay

When writing a French essay for school, you should always use a structured approach and good French skills to present your arguments in a focused way. Beyond French skills, there are also important formal requirements for a successful French essay. We will come back to this in detail later. First, you will find some useful tips and tricks that will help you write more compelling and better French essays in the future.

• Have a clear thesis and structure
• Do sufficient research and use reliable sources
• Use examples and arguments to support your thesis
• Avoid plagiarism and cite correctly
• Always check structure, grammar and spelling

When you write your essay at school or university, you need to make sure that the general structure of your essay, the presentation of the arguments and, above all, your French language skills play a role in the mark you will get. This is why you should definitely take a closer look at the structure of an essay as well as the most important grammar rules and formulations for French essays.

The structure of a French essay

In an essay, you deal at length and in detail with a usually given topic. When you write an essay in French, you must follow a certain structure. Below we show you what this structure looks like and give you some tips for writing the most important parts of your essay.

The Introduction

The introduction prepares the main body of your essay. You think of a meaningful title for your essay, you describe your thesis or your question, you give general information on the subject and you prepare your argument by giving an overview of your most important arguments.

Below are examples and phrases that you can use to write the introduction to your essay in French.

The title should be meaningful, concise and reflect the content of the essay.

Introductory paragraph

The first paragraph of your French essay should briefly introduce the topic and engage the reader. Here are some examples to help you write your essay:

Proposal or question

The central proposition or question of your French essay should be a clear and concise definition of the purpose of the essay. Use these examples to get a clearer idea of ​​how to write theses in French:

Overview of Arguments and Structure

At the end of your introduction, describe the structure of the main part of your essay (your outline) and outline your argument. Here are some French expressions that will certainly help you write your essay:

The body of your essay

The main part of your French essay deals with the given topic in detail. The subject is studied from all angles. The main body of your essay follows a thread of argument and discusses in detail the main arguments of your thesis previously made in the introduction.

In the body of the text, you should discuss the subject of your essay in clear and concise language. To achieve this, we give you some wording aids as well as vocabulary and phrases that you can use to write your essay in French.

Formulation tools:

French vocabulary for essays.

In the conclusion of your French essay, you address the thesis of your essay, summarize the main points of your discussion in the main body, and draw a conclusion. On the basis of the arguments and the resulting conclusions, you formulate in the conclusion of your dissertation final thoughts and suggestions for the future. It is important that you do not add new information or new arguments. This should only be done in the body of your text.

Here are some wording guides to help you write your essay in French:

Sample French Essay

Les avantages des voyages linguistiques

Malgré les difficultés potentielles, les voyages linguistiques offrent aux apprenants une occasion unique d'améliorer leurs compétences linguistiques et de découvrir de nouvelles cultures, ce qui en fait un investissement précieux pour leur développement personnel et académique.

Les séjours linguistiques sont des voyages organisés dans le but d'améliorer les compétences linguistiques des participants. Ces voyages peuvent se dérouler dans le pays ou à l'étranger et durer d'un week-end à plusieurs semaines. L'un des principaux avantages des séjours linguistiques est l'immersion. Entourés de locuteurs natifs, les apprenants sont contraints de pratiquer et d'améliorer leurs compétences linguistiques dans des situations réelles.Il s'agit d'une méthode d'apprentissage beaucoup plus efficace que le simple fait d'étudier une langue dans une salle de classe.

Un autre avantage des séjours linguistiques est l'expérience culturelle. Voyager dans un nouveau pays permet aux apprenants de découvrir de nouvelles coutumes, traditions et modes de vie, et de se familiariser avec l'histoire et la culture du pays. Cela enrichit non seulement l'expérience d'apprentissage de la langue, mais contribue également à élargir les horizons et à accroître la sensibilisation culturelle.

Cependant, les séjours linguistiques peuvent également présenter des inconvénients. Par exemple, le coût du voyage et de l'hébergement peut être élevé, en particulier pour les séjours de longue durée. En outre, les apprenants peuvent être confrontés à la barrière de la langue ou à un choc culturel, ce qui peut être difficile à surmonter. Le coût et les difficultés potentielles des séjours linguistiques peuvent sembler décourageants, mais ils offrent des avantages précieux en termes d'épanouissement personnel et scolaire.

Les compétences linguistiques et les connaissances culturelles acquises peuvent déboucher sur de nouvelles opportunités d'emploi et améliorer la communication dans un cadre professionnel. Les bourses et les aides financières rendent les séjours linguistiques plus accessibles. Le fait d'être confronté à une barrière linguistique ou à un choc culturel peut également être l'occasion d'un développement personnel. Ces avantages l'emportent largement sur les inconvénients et font des séjours linguistiques un investissement qui en vaut la peine.

En conclusion, malgré les difficultés potentielles, les séjours linguistiques offrent aux apprenants une occasion unique d'améliorer leurs compétences linguistiques et de découvrir de nouvelles cultures, ce qui en fait un investissement précieux pour le développement personnel et académique. Qu'il s'agisse d'un débutant ou d'un apprenant avancé, un voyage linguistique est une expérience à ne pas manquer.

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How to Write an Essay in French

Have something to say?

When it comes to expressing your thoughts in French , there’s nothing better than the essay.

It is, after all, the favorite form of such famed French thinkers as Montaigne, Chateaubriand, Houellebecq and Simone de Beauvoir.

In this post, I’ve outlined the four most common types of essays in French, ranked from easiest to most difficult, to help you get to know this concept better. 

Why Are French Essays Different?

Must-have french phrases for writing essays, 4 types of french essays and how to write them, 1. text summary (synthèse de texte).

• 2. Text Commentary (Commentaire de texte)

3. Dialectic Dissertation (Thèse, Antithèse, Synthèse)

• 4. Progressive Dissertation (Plan progressif)

And one more thing...

Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Writing an essay in French is not the same as those typical 5-paragraph essays you’ve probably written in English.

In fact, there’s a whole other logic that has to be used to ensure that your essay meets French format standards and structure. It’s not merely writing your ideas in another language .

And that’s because the French use Cartesian logic (also known as Cartesian doubt) , developed by René Descartes , which requires a writer to begin with what is known and then lead the reader through to the logical conclusion: a paragraph that contains the thesis. Through the essay, the writer will reject all that is not certain or all that is subjective in his or her quest to find the objective truth.

Sound intriguing? Read on for more!

Before we get to the four main types of essays, here are a few French phrases that will be especially helpful as you delve into essay-writing in French:

Introductory phrases , which help you present new ideas.

Connecting phrases , which help you connect ideas and sections.

Contrasting phrases , which help you juxtapose two ideas.

Concluding phrases , which help you to introduce your conclusion.

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The text summary or synthèse de texte  is one of the easiest French writing exercises to get a handle on. It essentially involves reading a text and then summarizing it in an established number of words, while repeating no phrases that are in the original text. No analysis is called for.

A  synthèse de texte  should follow the same format as the text that is being synthesized. The arguments should be presented in the same way, and no major element of the original text should be left out of the  synthèse.

Here is an informative post about writing a synthèse de texte , written for French speakers. 

The text summary is a great exercise for exploring the following French language elements:

• Synonyms , as you will need to find other words to describe what is said in the original text.
• Nominalization , which involves turning verbs into nouns and generally cuts down on word count.
• Vocabulary , as the knowledge of more exact terms will allow you to avoid periphrases and cut down on word count.

While beginners may wish to work with only one text, advanced learners can synthesize as many as three texts in one text summary. 

Since a text summary is simple in its essence, it’s a great writing exercise that can accompany you through your entire learning process.

2. Text Commentary  (Commentaire de texte)

A text commentary or commentaire de texte   is the first writing exercise where the student is asked to present an analysis of the materials at hand, not just a summary.

That said, a  commentaire  de texte  is not a reaction piece. It involves a very delicate balance of summary and opinion, the latter of which must be presented as impersonally as possible. This can be done either by using the third person (on) or the general first person plural (nous) . The singular first person (je) should never be used in a  commentaire de texte.

A commentaire de texte  should be written in three parts:

• An introduction , where the text is presented.
• An argument , where the text is analyzed.
• A conclusion , where the analysis is summarized and elevated.

Here is a handy in-depth guide to writing a successful commentaire de texte,  written for French speakers.

Unlike with the synthesis, you will not be able to address all elements of a text in a commentary. You should not summarize the text in a commentary, at least not for the sake of summarizing. Every element of the text that you speak about in your commentary must be analyzed.

To successfully analyze a text, you will need to brush up on your figurative language. Here are some great resources to get you started:

• Here’s an introduction to figurative language in French.
• This guide to figurative language  presents the different elements in useful categories.
• This guide , intended for high school students preparing for the BAC—the exam all French high school students take, which they’re required to pass to go to university—is great for seeing examples of how to integrate figurative language into your commentaries.
• Speaking of which, here’s an example of a corrected commentary from the BAC, which will help you not only include figurative language but get a head start on writing your own commentaries.

The French answer to the 5-paragraph essay is known as the  dissertation .  Like the American 5-paragraph essay, it has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. The stream of logic, however, is distinct.

There are actually two kinds of  dissertation,  each of which has its own rules.

The first form of  dissertation  is the dialectic dissertation , better known as  thèse, antithèse, synthèse . In this form, there are actually only two body paragraphs. After the introduction, a thesis is posited. Following the thesis, its opposite, the antithesis, is explored (and hopefully, debunked). The final paragraph, what we know as the conclusion, is the  synthesis , which addresses the strengths of the thesis, the strengths and weaknesses of the antithesis, and concludes with the reasons why the original thesis is correct.

For example, imagine that the question was, “Are computers useful to the development of the human brain?” You could begin with a section showing the ways in which computers are useful for the progression of our common intelligence—doing long calculations, creating in-depth models, etc.

Then you would delve into the problems that computers pose to human intelligence, citing examples of the ways in which spelling proficiency has decreased since the invention of spell check, for example. Finally, you would synthesize this information and conclude that the “pro” outweighs the “con.”

The key to success with this format is developing an outline before writing. The thesis must be established, with examples, and the antithesis must be supported as well. When all of the information has been organized in the outline, the writing can begin, supported by the tools you have learned from your mastery of the synthesis and commentary.

Here are a few tools to help you get writing:

• Here’s a great guide to writing a dialectic dissertation .
• Here’s an example of a plan for a dialectic dissertation , showing you the three parts of the essay as well as things to consider when writing a dialectic dissertation.

4. Progressive Dissertation ( Plan progressif)

The progressive dissertation is slightly less common, but no less useful, than the first form.

The progressive form basically consists of examining an idea via multiple points of view—a sort of deepening of the understanding of the notion, starting with a superficial perspective and ending with a deep and profound analysis.

If the dialectic dissertation is like a scale, weighing pros and cons of an idea, the progressive dissertation is like peeling an onion, uncovering more and more layers as you get to the deeper crux of the idea.

Concretely, this means that you will generally follow this layout:

• A first, elementary exploration of the idea.
• A second, more philosophical exploration of the idea.
• A third, more transcendent exploration of the idea.

This format for the dissertation is more commonly used for essays that are written in response to a philosophical question, for example, “What is a person?” or “What is justice?”

Let’s say the question was, “What is war?” In the first part, you would explore dictionary definitions—a basic idea of war, i.e. an armed conflict between two parties, usually nations. You could give examples that back up this definition, and you could narrow down the definition of the subject as much as needed. For example, you might want to make mention that not all conflicts are wars, or you might want to explore whether the “War on Terror” is a war.

In the second part, you would explore a more philosophical look at the topic, using a definition that you provide. You first explain how you plan to analyze the subject, and then you do so. In French, this is known as  poser une problématique  (establishing a thesis question), and it usually is done by first writing out a question and then exploring it using examples: “Is war a reflection of the base predilection of humans for violence?”

In the third part, you will take a step back and explore this question from a distance, taking the time to construct a natural conclusion and answer for the question.

This form may not be as useful in as many cases as the first type of essay, but it’s a good form to learn, particularly for those interested in philosophy. Here’s an in-depth guide  to writing a progressive dissertation.

As you progress in French and become more and more comfortable with writing, try your hand at each of these types of writing exercises, and even with other forms of the dissertation . You’ll soon be a pro at everything from a synthèse de texte to a dissertation!

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Home > Language and Grammar > How To Say ‘My Friend’ In French – A Must-Know Phrase!

Language and Grammar

How To Say ‘My Friend’ In French – A Must-Know Phrase!

Published: January 22, 2024

Written by: Merridie Crane

Learn how to say "my friend" in French and expand your language and grammar skills with this essential phrase! Mastering this phrase is a must for language learners. Discover more about language and grammar.

• Language Learning

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Table of Contents

Introduction, understanding the importance of saying "my friend" in french, formal and informal ways to say "my friend" in french, examples of using "my friend" in french conversations.

Learning a new language opens up a world of possibilities, allowing us to connect with people from different cultures and backgrounds. One of the most endearing aspects of language learning is discovering the nuances of expressions that reflect human relationships. In French, a language renowned for its elegance and charm, the phrase "my friend" holds significant cultural and linguistic value. Understanding how to convey this sentiment in French not only enriches our linguistic repertoire but also deepens our appreciation for the intricacies of the language.

As we embark on this linguistic journey, we will delve into the formal and informal ways of expressing "my friend" in French, exploring the subtle variations in usage that reflect the diverse social contexts in which these expressions are employed. Through real-life examples and practical insights, we will unravel the cultural significance of addressing a friend in French, shedding light on the underlying customs and etiquettes that shape interpersonal communication in the Francophone world.

Join me as we unravel the art of expressing camaraderie and affection in French, mastering the nuances of addressing friends with warmth and sincerity. Let's embark on this enriching exploration of the phrase "my friend" in French, delving into its linguistic intricacies and cultural significance.

Read more : Understanding The Meaning Of The Phrase, “Be Still, My Heart”

Expressing camaraderie and affection through language is a universal aspect of human interaction. In French, the phrase "my friend" carries profound significance, reflecting the cultural emphasis on interpersonal relationships and social etiquette. Understanding the importance of this expression in French unveils the intricate tapestry of the language, illuminating the values and customs embedded in Francophone society.

In French culture, addressing someone as "my friend" goes beyond mere linguistic convention; it embodies the spirit of warmth, camaraderie, and mutual respect. The French language, celebrated for its eloquence and finesse, places great emphasis on the nuances of interpersonal communication. Therefore, the phrase "my friend" serves as a conduit for expressing genuine affection and establishing meaningful connections.

Moreover, the significance of addressing someone as "my friend" in French extends to the broader social fabric. It reflects the emphasis on courtesy and politeness that permeates French society, underscoring the importance of maintaining amicable relations in various social settings. Whether in casual conversations or formal gatherings, the ability to convey camaraderie through the appropriate use of "my friend" reflects an individual's grasp of the subtle intricacies of French language and culture.

Furthermore, the expression "my friend" in French embodies the essence of inclusivity and hospitality. It signifies an openness to forging meaningful relationships and embracing others with warmth and sincerity. Understanding the cultural weight of this phrase enables language learners to navigate social interactions with finesse and grace, fostering a deeper sense of connection and camaraderie within the Francophone community.

In essence, the importance of saying "my friend" in French transcends linguistic proficiency; it encapsulates the values of warmth, respect, and inclusivity that define French culture. By recognizing the cultural significance of this expression, language learners gain a deeper appreciation for the intricate interplay between language and social dynamics, enriching their understanding of the Francophone world.

Through this profound understanding, individuals can imbue their interactions with authenticity and empathy, fostering genuine connections and embodying the spirit of camaraderie that lies at the heart of the French language.

In French, the expression "my friend" can be conveyed in formal and informal contexts, each carrying distinct nuances that reflect the nature of the relationship and the social setting. Understanding the subtle variations in addressing friends in French enriches our ability to navigate diverse social interactions with finesse and cultural sensitivity.

Formal Address: "Mon Ami" and "Mon Amie"

When addressing a friend in a formal context, the appropriate term to use is "Mon Ami" for a male friend and "Mon Amie" for a female friend. This formal expression encapsulates a sense of respect and decorum, acknowledging the camaraderie while adhering to the etiquette of formal address. The use of "Mon Ami" or "Mon Amie" reflects a courteous and dignified approach to acknowledging friendship in settings that demand a degree of formality, such as professional environments or official gatherings.

Informal Address: "Mon Pote" and "Ma Pote"

In more casual or informal settings, French speakers often use the terms "Mon Pote" for a male friend and "Ma Pote" for a female friend. These informal expressions convey a sense of familiarity and camaraderie, reflecting the relaxed nature of the relationship. "Mon Pote" and "Ma Pote" are commonly used in everyday conversations among friends, acquaintances, and in social gatherings where a casual tone is prevalent. The use of these informal terms fosters a sense of ease and closeness, reflecting the warmth and informality characteristic of friendly interactions.

Read more : Learn How To Say ‘good Morning’ In Hawaiian And Discover Other Useful Phrases!

Nuances of Usage

The choice between formal and informal expressions of "my friend" in French is influenced by the nature of the relationship and the social context. While "Mon Ami" and "Mon Amie" emphasize respect and decorum, "Mon Pote" and "Ma Pote" evoke a sense of familiarity and casualness. Understanding the nuances of usage enables language learners to navigate social interactions with cultural sensitivity, adapting their language to suit the dynamics of diverse social settings.

Cultural Significance

The formal and informal ways of saying "my friend" in French reflect the cultural values of courtesy, respect, and camaraderie. The ability to discern the appropriate form of address based on the social context underscores an individual's grasp of French etiquette and social norms. Embracing the nuances of formal and informal expressions enriches language learners' understanding of the cultural fabric that shapes interpersonal relationships in the Francophone world, fostering a deeper sense of connection and cultural fluency.

By mastering the formal and informal ways of addressing friends in French, language learners embrace the richness of French language and culture, embodying the spirit of camaraderie with grace and cultural finesse.

In the vibrant tapestry of French conversations, the phrase "my friend" finds myriad expressions, each reflecting the nuances of camaraderie and social dynamics. Let's immerse ourselves in a series of captivating scenarios where the art of addressing friends in French comes to life.

Scenario 1: A Formal Gathering

As guests mingle at a prestigious soirée in Paris, the air is filled with elegance and refinement. Amidst the sophisticated ambiance, a gentleman graciously addresses his esteemed colleague, saying, "Mon ami, it's a pleasure to see you tonight." The use of "Mon ami" exudes respect and affability, encapsulating the essence of formal camaraderie in a distinguished setting.

Read more : The Surprising Origin Of The Phrase ‘Oh My Lanta’

Scenario 2: A Casual Café Encounter

In a cozy café nestled in the heart of Lyon, friends gather for lighthearted conversations and laughter. A jovial exchange ensues as a group of friends warmly greets each other, with one exclaiming, "Salut, mon pote! Ça va?" The use of "mon pote" reflects the easygoing nature of the interaction, fostering a sense of familiarity and conviviality among friends in a casual, relaxed setting.

Scenario 3: Reconnecting with a Childhood Friend

In a quaint village in the French countryside, two old friends reunite after years of separation. Overjoyed by the reunion, one exclaims, "Ma vieille amie, quel plaisir de te revoir!" The endearing term "ma vieille amie" conveys a deep sense of affection and nostalgia, encapsulating the enduring bond of friendship that transcends time and distance.

Scenario 4: A Professional Encounter

Within the bustling corridors of a corporate office in Marseille, colleagues engage in professional discourse with a touch of warmth and respect. A senior executive addresses a trusted coworker, stating, "Cher ami, your insights are invaluable to our team." The use of "cher ami" reflects a blend of professionalism and camaraderie, underscoring the mutual esteem and collaboration within the professional sphere.

Scenario 5: A Heartfelt Reunion

Amidst the picturesque charm of a Parisian park, a group of friends shares laughter and heartfelt conversations. Embracing a dear friend, one exclaims, "Mon amie, tu m'as tellement manqué!" The heartfelt utterance of "mon amie" conveys genuine warmth and emotional closeness, epitomizing the enduring bond of friendship amidst the beauty of shared moments.

In these diverse scenarios, the art of using "my friend" in French conversations unfolds, weaving a rich tapestry of warmth, respect, familiarity, and affection. Each expression encapsulates the essence of camaraderie within the intricate fabric of French social interactions, reflecting the multifaceted nature of human relationships expressed through the eloquence of the French language.

Read more : The Origin Of The Phrase “Oh My Lanta”

In the tapestry of the French language, the phrase "my friend" transcends linguistic convention to embody the essence of warmth, respect, and camaraderie. Through our exploration of the formal and informal ways of addressing friends in French, we have unveiled the profound cultural significance embedded within these expressions. The formal elegance of "Mon Ami" and "Mon Amie" resonates with the values of courtesy and decorum, reflecting the nuanced etiquette of formal address in French society. In contrast, the casual familiarity exuded by "Mon Pote" and "Ma Pote" captures the spirit of genuine connection and ease that characterizes informal interactions among friends.

Our journey through captivating scenarios has illuminated the diverse contexts in which the art of addressing friends in French comes to life. From prestigious soirées to cozy café encounters, the nuanced use of "my friend" reflects the intricate interplay of respect, familiarity, and affection within the rich tapestry of French conversations. Whether in professional settings, heartfelt reunions, or casual gatherings, the choice of expression encapsulates the dynamics of the relationship and the social ambiance, enriching the fabric of interpersonal connections with cultural finesse.

By delving into the cultural nuances of addressing friends in French, language learners gain a deeper appreciation for the values and customs that underpin the Francophone world. The ability to navigate the formal and informal expressions of "my friend" with grace and cultural sensitivity fosters a deeper sense of connection and understanding within the vibrant tapestry of French social interactions. Embracing the art of conveying camaraderie in French enriches our linguistic repertoire, enabling us to forge meaningful connections and embody the spirit of warmth and inclusivity that lies at the heart of the French language.

As we conclude this enriching exploration, let us carry forward the profound insights gained from our journey through the nuances of addressing friends in French. May we continue to embrace the elegance and warmth of the French language, infusing our interactions with the genuine spirit of camaraderie and respect encapsulated within the art of saying "my friend" in French. In doing so, we honor the cultural richness of the Francophone world and foster authentic connections that transcend linguistic boundaries, embodying the timeless values of friendship and warmth that unite us as global citizens.

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18 French sayings about friendship

French culture is known for its appreciation for good food, wine, fashion, and most importantly, friendship. The French have a rich history of proverbs and sayings that embody their perspectives on life, love, and relationships, and their sayings about friendship are no exception. In this blog post, we’ll explore ten of the most famous French sayings about friendship and what they mean.

1. “L’amitié n’a pas de prix” – Friendship has no price. This saying emphasizes the importance of friendship and the value of having a good friend in your life. No matter what challenges you may face, a true friend will always be there for you, and that is priceless.

2. “L’amitié, c’est une fleur qui ne se fane jamais” – Friendship is a flower that never fades. This saying likens friendship to a beautiful, enduring flower that never fades away, no matter what happens. It suggests that true friendship is a bond that lasts a lifetime.

3. “L’amitié c’est comme le vin, plus ça vieillit, plus ça devient bon” – Friendship is like wine, the older it gets, the better it becomes. This saying reflects the idea that, just like wine, friendship only improves with time. The longer you know a person, the more you appreciate their character and the bond that you share.

4. “Les amis, c’est comme les étoiles, il y en a beaucoup, mais les bonnes sont rares” – Friends are like stars, there are many, but the good ones are rare. This saying reminds us that not all friends are created equal. While it’s easy to make acquaintances, it’s much harder to find true friends who will stand by you through thick and thin.

5. “Il vaut mieux avoir peu d’amis mais de bons amis” – It’s better to have few friends but good friends. Similar to the previous saying, this one suggests that it’s better to have a few close, trustworthy friends than a large group of acquaintances who may not have your best interests at heart.

6. “L’amitié, c’est un cadeau précieux” – Friendship is a precious gift. This saying highlights the value of friendship, which can bring joy, support, and comfort to our lives. Just like a gift, friendship should be cherished and appreciated.

7. “Entre amis, tout est permis” – Among friends, everything is allowed. This saying suggests that there is a special bond between friends that allows them to be more relaxed and open with each other. Friends can be themselves around each other, without the fear of judgment or criticism.

8. “L’amitié c’est comme un abri, il protège du vent et de la pluie” – Friendship is like a shelter, it protects from wind and rain. This saying compares friendship to a warm, safe place where you can take refuge from life’s challenges. A good friend provides comfort and support when you need it most.

9. “L’amitié, c’est un pont entre les âmes” – Friendship is a bridge between souls. This saying describes friendship as a connection between two people that allows them to understand and support each other on a deeper level.

10. “L’amitié c’est s’accepter mutuellement tels que nous sommes, sans essayer de changer l’autre.” – Friendship is about accepting each other as we are, without trying to change the other person.

11. “L’amitié double les joies et divise les peines.” – Friendship doubles joys and halves sorrows.

12. “L’amitié ne se mesure pas en années, mais en moments.” – Friendship is not measured in years, but in moments.

13. “Les vrais amis sont ceux qui sont là quand on a besoin d’eux.” – True friends are those who are there when you need them.

14. “On peut choisir ses amis, pas sa famille.” – You can choose your friends, not your family.

15. “L’amitié c’est comme une fleur, il faut la cultiver pour qu’elle grandisse.” – Friendship is like a flower, it needs to be cultivated for it to grow.

16. “Les vrais amis sont ceux qui restent même quand ils sont loin.” – True friends are those who remain even when they are far away.

17. “L’amitié véritable ne connaît ni frontières ni distances.” – True friendship knows no borders or distances.

18. “L’amitié est la plus belle des choses au monde, car elle ne coûte rien et donne beaucoup.” – Friendship is the most beautiful thing in the world, because it costs nothing and gives a lot.

In conclusion, French sayings about friendship highlight the importance of mutual support, trust, and love in friendship. These sayings offer insight into the cultural attitudes towards friendship and serve as a reminder of the value of meaningful connections in our lives.

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How To Say Friend In French (Audio Included)

By: Author David Issokson

Posted on Published: June 11, 2022  - Last updated: November 2, 2023

Friend in French is “ami(e)” (pronounced ah-mee). Another French word for friend is “copain/copine” . This post will examine how to pronounce ami and copain , explore their subtle differences and present some common expressions. Keep reading!

How to pronounce ami and copain

Before we go any further let’s have a look at how to pronounce the two French words for friend. The pronunciation of “ami” is ah-mee. The feminine form, “amie” has the exact same pronunciation.

un ami, une amie

The other word for friend, “copain” is a bit harder to pronounce. The “ain” letter combination sound like the nasal “in” in the word “inviter” (to invite) and is written with the pronunciation symbol “ɛ̃”.

un copain, une copine

1) “A friend” and “The friend”

In this section we’ll look at how to say “a friend” and “the friend” in French.

“A friend” is “un ami” or “une ami” (masculine and feminine forms). “Some friends” is “des amis” . Here are some example sentences:

J’ai un ami à Paris.

I have a (male) friend in Paris.

J’ai une amie en Suisse.

I have a (female) friend in Switzerland.

J’ai des amis à Montréal.

I have (some) friends in Montreal.

To say, “the friend” say “l’ami” and “l’amie” . The pronunciation is the same in both the masculine and feminine form. This is because “le” and “la” , the words for “the” both become l’ before a vowel. “The friends” in the plural form is “les amis” . Here are some example sentences:

L’ami de Sarah s’appelle Jean.

Sarah’s friend is named Jean.

L’amie de Sylvie s’appelle Julie.

Sylvie’s friend is named Julie.

Les amis de Marc habitent au Canada.

Marc’s friends live in Canada.

The is page on our site covers the definite articles (le, la, les) and indefinite articles (un, une, des) in detail.

In French, “my friend” in the masculine form is “mon ami” (pronounced mohn-amee). The feminine form of “my friend” is also “mon amie” . The “mon” in the feminine form is a kind of liaison . They are pronounced the exact same.

mon ami, mon amie

“My friends” in French is “mes amis” in the masculine form and “mes amies” in the feminine form. The pronunciation for both is the same: [mays-amee] . Here are some example sentences.

Thomas est mon ami. Thomas is my friend.

Sarah est mon amie aussi.

Sarah is also my friend.

Thomas et Sarah sont mes amis.

Thomas and Sarah are my friends.

2) Copain /copine – another to say friend in French

As mentioned above, the word “copain” in the masculine form and “copine” in the feminine form also mean friend in French. Generally speaking, the word “copain” is slightly less formal than “ami” . Thus, “un bon copain” could translate to “a good buddy” or “a good pal” .

Explained slightly differently, “ami” could refer to a more serious lifelong friend, whereas “copain” could a more casual friend or even a good acquaintance. Here are some example sentences:

J’ai un copain à Paris.

I have a friend in Paris.

Julie est une copine de Sarah.

Julie is Sarah’s friend.

Nous avons quelques copains à Londres.

We have a few friends in London.

3) Boyfriend and girlfriend in French

In French, the word for boyfriend is “un petit copain” , which translates literally to “a little friend”. The word for girlfriend is “une petite copine” . For example:

Marc est le petit ami de Julie.

Marc is Julie’s boyfriend.

Julie est la petite amie de Marc.

Julie is Marc’s girlfriend.

Interestingly, the meanings of “copain” and “copine” become boyfriend and girlfriend when proceeded by the possessive adjectives (mon and ma). Observe:

Marc est un copain.

Marc is a friend.

Marc est mon copain.

Marc is my boyfriend.

Sylvie est une copine.

Sylvie is a friend.

Sylvie est ma copine.

Sylvie is my girlfriend.

Ex boyfriend and ex girlfriend

In French to say ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, simply put “ex” before either petit ami/petite amie or copain/copine . You can also use the words ancien/ancienne . For example:

• Marc est l’ex petit ami de Julie. Marc is Julie’s ex-boyfriend.
• Julie est l’ancienne petite copine de Marc. Julie is Marc’s ex-girlfriend.

Boyfriend and girlfriend in French Canadian

In Quebec and the rest of French-speaking Canada, the word for boyfriend is “un chum” and girlfriend is “une blonde” . For example:

• Mon chum s’appelle Yves. My boyfriend’s name is Yves.
• Ma blond s’appelle Caroline. My girlfriend’s name is Caroline.

4) How to say pal and buddy

French has a fun word used to express “pal” or “buddy” : “un pote” . Pote also translates to “mate” and “bro”. For example:

Salut mon pote ! Ça va?

Hey buddy! How’s it going?

Friendship in French

The French word for “friendship” is “l’amitié” (pronounced amee-tee-ay; feminine noun).

amitié

• Notre amitié dure depuis le lycée. Our friendship has lasted since high school.

Expressions and more words containing friend in French

The following is a list of several expressions relating to the words “ami” in French or “friend” in English.

• C’est dans le besoin que l’on reconnaît ses amis. A friend in need is a friend indeed. The literal translation of this expression is: It’s in need that one recognizes his/her friends.
• Meilleur ami, meilleure amie best friend
• Ami(e) de cœur, ami(e) intime , ami(e) prohce close friend, bosom friend
• Ami cher, amie chère dear friend
• Ami(e) peu fiable fair-weather friend (literally an unreliable friend)
• Faux ami false cognate (A situation when a word is the same or almost the same in two different languages but have two unrelated meanings).
• Ami(e) de la famille family friend
• Ami (or compagnon à quatre pattes four-legged friend
• Bon ami, bonne amie a good friend
• Ami commun, amie commune mutual friend
• Vieil ami, vieille amie, ami(e) de longue date old friend

Congratulations! You now know how to say “friend” in French. Now check our our lessons covering how to say “ no problem ” and our list of family members vocabulary .

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David Issokson

David Issokson is a lifelong language enthusiast. His head is swimming with words and sounds as he speaks over six languages. Of all the languages he speaks, he's the most passionate about French! David has helped hundreds of students to improve their French in his private online lessons. When procrastinating working on his site, FrenchLearner.com, David enjoys his time skiing and hiking in Teton Valley, Idaho.

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9 ways to say “friend” in French

Ami (or its feminine form, amie ) is the most common way to say “friend” in French. But there are several other options.

As you learn French, may make some friends along the way, and you might want to know what to call them!

Let’s look at some common ways to say “friend” (and, sometimes, more than “friend”) in French!

9 ways to say “friend” in French

Here are the most common ways to say “friend” in French that you’ll come across. As you’ll see, many of these can also sometimes mean “boyfriend/girlfriend” or “lover,” too.  Luckily, there are usually ways to tell what’s being implied.

The standard “friend” (and sometimes “boyfriend/girlfriend” or “lover”) – ami/amie   

Ami(e)  is the most basic, common word for “friend” in French.

This word has to agree with the person or people it’s referring to, so you’ll see it either as:

• ami  – a male or unspecified friend
• amie  – a female friend
• amis  –  more than one male friend or a group of male and female friends
• amies  – more than one female friend

It can be used in formal or informal situations, so it’s the perfect go-to word for “friend” in French.

….But ami/amie  can also refer to a boyfriend/girlfriend or lover.

To tell which one a person means, as a general rule:

• If ami/amie  is used with un or une, it refers to a platonic friend.
• If ami/amie  is used with a possessive pronoun, it refers to a boyfriend/girlfriend or lover
• When ami  and amie  are in their plural forms, regardless of the article or pronoun that precedes them, it’s understood that they mean “platonic friends”, unless there’s a very explicit explanation or context otherwise.

So for instance, Elle est partie en voyage avec un ami  (She went on a trip with a friend) would mean that these two are just friends; Elle habite avec un ami  (She lives with a (guy) friend) means she’s living with a male friend, not a boyfriend.

These are general rules, and there are exceptions.

For instance, sometimes you can just use a possessive pronoun with ami(e)  and have it mean, well, “friend”. For example, Tu es mon ami  (You’re my friend) or J’ai vu ton ami Christophe au supermarch é l’autre jour .  (I saw your friend Christophe at the supermarket the other day.)    Often, it just comes down to context.

Sometimes, certain common phrases with ami   use a possessive pronoun but are known to only refer to friendship. One of the most common of these is mon cher ami (my dear friend).

Fortunately, knowing which one is being implied is usually pretty easy to suss out by context. For instance, Elle est parti en voyage avec son ami  could mean she’s gone on a trip with her boyfriend, but it’s a bit ambiguous. But if you say Elle habite avec son ami , it would be understood that she lives with her boyfriend.

Note that because most of France is still influenced by traditional, hetero-normative culture, if someone says something like Elle habite chez son amie , not everyone would necessarily understand that the women are a couple. But as French society evolves, it’s increasingly likely that it would be understood, especially by younger generations.

Ils sont amis.  (They’re friends.) Tu es mon amie.   (You’re my friend.) Il habite avec son amie.  (He lives with his girlfriend.) Marie est une amie à moi. (Marie is a friend of mine.) On y va, les amis !  (Let’s go, (my) friends!) Tu vas te faire pleins d’amis.  (You’re going to make lots of friends.) Mes amies m’ont dit que cette robe me va à merveille. (My friends told me this dress looks amazing on me.)

The “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” – petit ami/petite amie

Another way ami(e)  can be used to mean “romantic interest” that’s far less ambiguous is the phrase petit(e) ami(e) , which means “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”.

You may be wondering why, then, French people don’t just use this all the time when it comes to talking about a romantic partner. The answer is that petit ami/petite amie  is used with the connotation that a relationship is recent or maybe that you’re not expecting it will last a long time.

For instance, a parent might use this term for the person their high school-age kid is dating. Or maybe some adult friends have just met another friend’s new boyfriend or girlfriend.

After a while, as the relationship gets more serious, words like ami(e), copain/copine , or compagnon/compagne are used.

In a way, it makes sense; there’s nothing petit(e)  about the role a long-term partner plays in your life – or at least, there shouldn’t be!

Charles est son petit ami.  (Charles is her boyfriend.) Elle a une nouvelle petite amie.  (She has a new girlfriend.) C’est ma petite amie.  (That’s my girlfriend.)

The other common “friend” or sometimes “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” – copain/copine

C opain  or copine  is another fairly common way to say “friend” in French. It’s slightly less formal than ami(e) , but not by much.

Like ami(e) , it has to agree with the person it’s referring to:

• copain  – a male or unspecified friend
• copine  – a female friend
• copains  –  more than one male friend or a group of male and female friends
• copines  – more than one female friend

Another way copain/copine  is similar to ami(e) is that it could refer to either a platonic friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend (although not necessarily a lover).

As with ami(e),   if you’re lucky, you may also get the benefit of hearing or seeing   un or  une before the word. In that case, the person is talking about just a friend. But, as with ami(e) , if copain/copine  is used with a possessive pronoun, it usually (but not always!) means “boyfriend/girlfriend”.

And as with ami(e) , context is the best way to know whether or not this word means just a friend or a romantic partner.

Elle habite chez une copine.  (She lives at her friend’s place.) Elle habite avec son copain.  (She lives with her boyfriend.) Tu es un très bon copain.  (You’re a good friend.) C’est un copain à moi.  (He’s a friend of mine.)

The “pal” or “mate” – pote

Pote  means “pal” (US English) or “mate” (UK English) in French.

In most cases, pote  is masculine. But as with “pal” in English, it doesn’t necessarily denote a particular gender; it’s just much more commonly associated with males.

However, in more contemporary French, pote  can also be used to refer to a female friend and is preceded by a feminine modifier.

Salut mon pote !   (Hey, my friend!) On a passé hier soir entre potes.  (We spent last night our pals.) Jean-Luc est mon pote.  (Jean-Luc’s my pal.) Sarah est ma pote.  (Sarah’s my pal.)

The “bud” – poteau

Poteau  is a diminutive of pote – a rough equivalent of “pal”, “bud”, or “mate”. It’s an informal, slang way to refer to a friend.

Unlike pote , this word is exclusively used with male modifiers, and it usually refers to male friends only. That said, language constantly evolves, so maybe this will also eventually be used with female friends and modifiers. For now, though, use it only with male friends – and in very informal situations.

Ça roule poteau ?  (How’s it going, pal?) Ce mec est ton poteau ?  (Is this guy your friend?) On va sortir avec les poteaux ce soir.  (We’re going out with our pals/mates tonight.)

The “bro” – fr è re  or fr é rot

In French, frère  usually means “brother” and frérot  is a familiar, informal way to say “little brother”. But just as “brother” in Anglophone slang can refer to a close male friend, the same goes for these two words. Frère  and frérot  are rough equivalents of “bro” or “bruv”.

These words are mostly used by people from the banlieue  (French equivalent of inner cities) and in street culture, rather than by frat boys and the like. A wealthy Caucasian French person using frère  or frérot  this way would come off as a bit false or trying to be cool.

That said, in extreme or poetic situations when someone wants to express a feeling of deep solidarity with another person, frère , or, less commonly, sœur  (sister) between women, could be used, just like in English.

But in general, unless you’re young and hip and talking to someone else who is young and hip, it’s probably best not to call anyone fr è re  or frérot  in French.

Ça va mon frère ?  (How’s it going, bro?) Wesh, frérot ?  (‘sup, bro?)

The “friend from school”  – un/une   camarade (de classe)

Short for camarade de classe , the word camarade  is often used to refer to a friend from school or a classmate. This word can be masculine or feminine.

Voici Sarah, c’est une camarade de classe. (This is Sarah, she’s a friend from school/classmate of mine.) De temps en temps, il boit un verre avec ses anciens camarades de classe. (Now and then he has a drink with his old classmates.)

Note that camarade  is also the equivalent of “comrade” for French Communists.

The “close friend” – un/une intime

As a noun, intime  means “a close friend”. It’s slightly formal and a bit less common than most of the other words on our list.  

It may surprise you to know that although the word is related to intimacy, this type of friend is exclusively platonic. It’s an intimacy of the soul.

You may also come across this word’s longer version, ami intime/amie intime.

C’est un intime de la famille.  (He’s a close friend of the family.) Elle a passé la soirée avec quelques intimes.  (She spent the evening with a few close friends.)

How do you say “best friend” in French?

The most common way to say “best friend” in French is:

meilleur ami  for a male friend or meilleure amie  for a female friend – literally best ( meilleur(e) )  and friend ( ami(e) ).

But as you can probably guess after reading this list, there are a few other ways to say “best friend” in French, too.

The most common of these include:

• meilleur copain/meilleure copine  – This form is a bit less common than meilleur(e) ami(e) , but you’ll still come across it a lot. It’s also a bit less formal than meilleur(e) ami(e) , so when talking to an older French person or in a formal situation, it’s best to opt for the ami(e) version.  
• meilleur pote  – This is a very informal way to say “best friend” in French. Although, as we’ve seen, pote  can be used to refer to a female friend, too, using it to say “best friend” is almost always for male friends. It’s extremely rare to see meilleure pote .

Hélène est ma meilleure amie.  (Helene is my best friend.) Il gère l’entreprise avec son meilleur ami. (He runs the business with his best friend.) Mon chat est mon meilleur ami.  (My cat is my best friend.) Hélène est ma meilleure copine.  (Helene is my best friend.) Robert est le meilleur copain de Richard. (Robert is Richard’s best friend.) Michel est mon meilleur pote.  (Michel is my best friend.) Je pars en Espagne ce weekend avec mes meilleurs potes.  (I’m going to Spain this weekend with my best pals/mates.)

Are there other ways to say “friend” in French?

Our list features the most common ways to say “friend” in French. But there are other terms, from old-fashioned ones, to regional ones, to up-and-coming slang ones this middle-aged author might not even be aware of!

You can also do an online search for “ comment dire ami en  ___” followed by a specific Francophone country or region.

You might find some interesting synonyms for ami   on this list. Of course, make sure to check a word’s definition and try to see it used in context before you use it.

Pay attention as you read, watch, and listen to things in French  – you may discover different ways to talk about friends.

And if you’re looking for ways to talk about different kinds of friends, or words about friendship in French, the WordReference entry for ami   is a great place to start!

I hope you found this article helpful. Here’s what I think is the perfect quote to finish it with, courtesy of Voltaire: Toutes les grandeurs du monde ne valent pas un bon ami . (A good friend is worth more than all of the titles and riches in the world.)

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Alysa Salzberg

Alysa Salzberg is an American writer, worrier, teacher, and cookie enthusiast who has lived in Paris, France, for more than a decade. She has taught English and French for more than ten years, most notably as an assistante de langue vivante for L'Education Nationale. She recently published her first novel, Hearts at Dawn , a "Beauty and the Beast" retelling that takes place during the 1870 Siege of Paris. You can read about her adventures here , or feel free to stop by her website .

25 Ways to Say “Friend” in French (and their Pronunciations)

Posted on Published: July 17, 2023  - Last updated: February 1, 2024

Friendship is a fascinating subject. Based on mutual aid, reciprocity, benevolence, and support, this enriching relationship can take many forms and be described in many ways. This has given rise to dozens of synonyms for friend in French, including some of the most conventional terms and some of the most imaginative expressions.

Today, we’ll help you expand your French vocabulary by giving you the usage, meaning, and pronunciation of the different ways of saying friend in French.

Meaning, Usage, and Variations of Ami in French

As we saw in our article dedicated to the expression “mon ami” , the term “ami” has many meanings in French. It can be used to designate a person with whom you have a friendly relationship, but also to designate your romantic partner, in which case you’d call him/her a “petit(e) ami(e)”, or someone with whom you share a particularly strong friendly bond, in which case you’d call him/her a “meilleur(e) ami(e)”.

Contrary to what is portrayed in popular culture, the term “ami” is almost never used to apostrophize or call someone directly in French. It’s simply used to refer to someone close to you in a sentence. And in most cases, new generations will prefer to use many other ways of saying friend in French.

To summarize:

• Mon ami et Mon amie = My friend (masculine) and My friend (feminine)
• Mon petit ami / Mon (petit) copain et Ma petite amie / Ma (petite) copine = Boyfriend and Girlfriend
• Mon meilleur ami et Ma meilleure amie = My best friend (masculine) and My best friend (feminine)

Read more : 50 French Slang Words You Won’t Learn in a Classroom

25 Synonyms for Friend in French

• Copain / Copine (common)

Pronunciation : /kɔpɛ̃/ – /kɔ.pin/

English translation : Buddy

“Copain” and “copine” are two names that are used to refer to a platonic friend in French. Although the term is very common, calling a friend a copain is rather rare in everyday life, so only young children still seem to use it. Like “ami”, if you add “petit(e)” in front of one of these names, you’re talking about a love partner rather than a friendly relationship.

• Pote (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /pɔt/

English translation : Homie

Although more colloquial, the term “pote” is by far the most common way of referring to a friend in French. It can be used to designate both a male friend (mon pote) and a female friend (ma pote).

• Collègue (common)

Pronunciation : /kɔ.lɛɡ/

English translation : Colleague

Like its English translation, the term “colleague” is most often used to designate a person with whom we work. We then speak of a “collègue de travail” (work colleague). However, in some regions of southern France, the term is also used as a synonym for friend, with no connection whatsoever to work.

• Poto / Poteau (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /pɔtɔ/

English translation : Pal

“Poto”, which can also be found written “poteau”, is a slang term used to designate a person with whom one has a familiar relationship. Unlike “pote” (from which it is a diminutive), “poto” is used almost exclusively to refer to a male friend.

• Frère / Soeur (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /fʁɛʁ/ – /sœʁ/

English translation : Brother / Sister

As in English, the terms “frère” and “soeur” are used in French to name a very good friend, a person so close to you that he or she could just as well be a member of your family.

• Cousin / Cousine / Couz (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /kuzɛ̃/ – /kuzin/ – /kuz/

English translation : Cousin / Cuz

Like “frère” and “soeur”, it’s not uncommon to use “cousin” and “cousine”, or their abbreviation “couz”, to refer to a close friend in French. These terms are given to someone you trust completely, such as a chosen family member.

• Frèrot / Soeurette (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /fʁe.ʁo/ – /sœ.ʁɛt/

English translation : Little bro / Little sis

Directly derived from “brother” and “sister”, the names “frérot” and “soeurette” represent a fairly common way of referring to a friend. Although not always the case, an elder relationship is often implied. In a family setting, it’s common to call your little brother “frérot” and your little sister “soeurette”.

• Camarade (common)

Pronunciation : /ka.ma.ʁad/

English translation : Classmate

Like “collègue”, which is mostly used to refer to a friend at work, “camarade” is used to refer to a friend you make exclusively at school, a “camarade de classe”. To a lesser extent, the term can be used to refer to someone with whom you share a friendly relationship at work or at play.

• Gros / Grosse (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /ɡʁo/ – /ɡʁos/

English translation : Fat (literal) / Mate

“Gros” (big/fat) is an affectionate and, to say the least, rude way of saying mon ami in French. Despite what you might think, the term doesn’t refer to a person’s corpulence. Although its origin remains unclear, it would seem that the idiom, popularized by French hip-hop group 113 in their track “ Ouais gros “, comes from the expression “gros bonnet”, which was used to describe a thug (bank robber, drug dealer) in the 20th century.

• Besta (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /ˈbɛsta/

English translation : Bestie

“Besta” is a Frenglish word commonly used to designate one’s best friend. The term is a contraction of the English adjective “best” and the French noun “amie”, truncated by the last syllable. Although it can still be heard here and there in schoolyards, the expression has lost popularity compared to its golden age in the 2000s.

• Acolyte (common)

Pronunciation : /a.kɔ.lit/

English translation : Accomplice

According to the Larousse definition, the term “acolyte” is mainly used to designate a person who assists another in unsavory activities. In common usage, it’s not uncommon for the term to be used as a synonym for friend, a loyal friend who can always be counted on.

• Ma gueule (colloquial) 

Pronunciation : /ma ɡœl/

English translation : My face (literal) / Homie

“Ma gueule” is a French idiomatic expression used to refer to a close friend in a very colloquial way. It is mainly used by teenagers and young adults. It’s also widely used as a cliché phrase for speaking like a suburban youth (“Wesh ma gueule, bien ou bien?”).

• Fraté / Fradé / Fra (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /fʁa.te/ – /fʁa.de/ – /fʁa/

English translation : Brother / Bro

Mainly used in the South of France and on the Isle of Beauty (Corsica), “fraté” and “fradé” are two abbreviations of the term “fratellu”, which means “brother” in Corsican. The difference in usage between the two is primarily regional: “fradé” is used in Haute-Corse, while “fraté” is used in southern Corsica. However, it’s by far “fraté” and its abbreviation “fra” that have spread most widely in mainland France, to the point where they’ve taken pride of place in the vocabulary of Marseillais and other southerners.

• Le sang (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /lə sɑ̃/

English translation : The blood (literal) / Homie

The expression “le sang” and its variants “le s” and “le sang de la veine” are particularly popular with young people when referring to close friends. It’s a metaphor that illustrates the importance and closeness of a person in our lives, like the blood that runs through our veins.

• Bras droit (common)

Pronunciation : /bʁa dʁwa/

English translation : Right-hand man

Figuratively speaking, the expression “right-hand man” is used to designate a person who assists another on a daily basis, whether by function or habit. As a result, it’s not uncommon for the expression to be used as a synonym for friend in French. In this case, it’s used to describe a very close friend who constantly supports us, through good times and bad.

• Bro (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /bʁo/

English translation : Bro

Year after year, more and more English words are finding their way into the French vocabulary. The anglicism “bro” has become a perfectly normal way of calling one’s best friend in French. The only difference with the English term is its pronunciation. It is often pronounced in the French style.

• Confident / Confidente (common)

Pronunciation : /kɔ̃.fi.dɑ̃/ – /kɔ̃.fi.dɑ̃te/

English translation : Confidant

As the term implies, a “confidant” is someone to whom you confide your most secret thoughts. The term is also used by younger people to designate a friend whom they trust completely.

• Complice (common)

Pronunciation : /kɔ̃.plis/

Like “acolyte”, “complice” is used literally to refer to a person who takes part in a reprehensible action. However, the term’s usage has evolved over time in everyday language to become a synonym for friend in French. The term “complice de toujours” is also used.

• Meilleur / Meilleure (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /mɛ.jœʁ/

English translation : Best (literal) / Bestie

A short form of “meilleur(e) ami(e)”, “meilleur(e)” can also stand on its own in slang. The adjective then becomes a common noun to apostrophize or qualify a close friend.

• Mec / Meuf (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /mɛk/ – /mœf/

English translation : Dude / Girl

Commonly used to refer to one’s partner in a couple, the terms “mec” and “meuf” are also frequently used to apostrophize a friend in French. Therefore, “mec” is more likely to be used by men to address friends of the same sex, and “meuf” by women.

• Srab (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /sʁab/

English translation : Mate

“Srab” is a term derived from North African Arabic meaning “ami, camarade, copain” (friend, comrade, buddy). The expression is mainly used by young people in the suburbs to refer to their close friends.

• Tepo (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /tə.po/

“Tepo” is a slang expression used by teenagers and young adults as a synonym for friend in French. The term is simply “pote” in French slang (pote => te-po) and thus shares the same meaning and usage.

• Bg (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /be.ʒe/

English translation : Handsome

“Bg” stands for “beau gosse” in French. In the same way that “handsome” can be used to greet someone (“hello handsome”), “bg” is frequently used to call a friend (“comment ça va bg?”).

• Khey (colloquial)

Pronunciation : /χɛj/

English translation : Brother

Like “srab”, “khey” is a term that comes from Maghrebian Arabic and can be translated as “brother”. Used in slang, it’s an increasingly common way of referring to a friend in French, a “frère de cœur” if you like.

• Connaissance (common)

Pronunciation : /kɔ.nɛ.sɑ̃s/

English translation : Acquaintance

The term “connaissance” is a little unusual in that it doesn’t refer directly to a friend, but simply to someone you know. It can, however, be used to refer to someone you’re used to being around, without necessarily sharing a close friendship.

No matter how you choose to name your friends in French , the important thing is to enjoy the good times shared together. And if you love new ways of saying your favorite French expressions, our articles on synonyms for “ I don’t care in French ” and “ drunk in French ” have been written for you!

Translated into English by Sacha

HOW TO DESCRIBE YOUR FAMILY IN FRENCH

More often than not, we asked to talk about our family in French in an examination or when we visit our neighbouring French-speaking countries. This lesson focuses on the guidelines to clearly and simply describe your family in French with little or no difficulty. This lesson will focus on three main objectives:

1. Knowing how to call the members of your family in French. 2. Knowing how to describe the structure of your family in French. 3. Write an essay on the topic “ma famille” (my family).

I./ Knowing how to call the members of your family in French Les membres de la famille (members of the family)

II./ Knowing how to describe the structure of your family in French To describe the structure of your family in French, you need to follow the guidelines below: 1. Ton nom (your name). Here, you need to mention your name in any of the following formats: . Je m’appelle Elvis Fiati. Mon est Fiati, mon prénom est Elvis. (My name is Elvis Fiati. My surname is Fiati, my First name is Elvis) . Je me nomme Elvis Fiati. (I am by name Elvis Fiati) . On m’appelle Elvis Fiati. (I am called Elvis Fiati)

1. Ton village natale (your hometown) Here, you need to talk about where you come from as shown in the example below: . Nous sommes de Hohoe dans la région de la Volta du Ghana. . Nous venons de Krobo Adumase dans la région orientale du Ghana.

2. Combien de membres comprend ta famille (how many members is your family made up of?) In this case, you need to mention the number of members in your family depending on the type of family (nuclear or extended) you want to describe as shown in the examples below: . Ma famille comprend neuf (9) membres. (my family is made up of 9 members) . Il y a neuf membres dans ma famille. (there are 9 members in my family)

3. Nomme les membres de ta famille (name the members of your family) Here, you need not to mention their real names but who they are to you (your relationship with them). See the example below: . J’ai un frère, deux sœurs, mes parents, ma grand-mère, mon oncle, ma tante et moi-même (I have a brother, two sisters, my parents, my grandmother, my uncle, my aunt and myself)

4. Tu aimes ta famille? Pourquoi? (do you like your family? Why?) Here, you need to say whether you like your family or not and state why you do or do not like your family. See the examples below. . J’aime ma famille parce que nous sommes courageux et gentils. (I like my family because we are courageous and kind) . Ma famille est riche et honorée dans ma localité. J’aime bien ma famille. (My family is rich and honoured in my locality. I really like my family) III./ Write an essay on the topic “ma famille” (my family) Ma famille Je m’appelle John Mahama. Je suis de la famille Mahama. Nous sommes de Bole Banboi dans la région du nord au Ghana. Il y a cinq (5) personnes dans ma famille: Mr et Mme Mahama, mes parents, mon frère ainée Ibrahim Mahama, ma sœur Alima Mahama et moi-même. Nous habitons à Accra. Mon père et ma mère ont soixante-dix (70) et soixante-cinq (65) ans respectivement. Ibrahim a trente-huit (38) ans, Alima a vingt-cinq (25) ans et moi j’ai trente-cinq (35). Mon père est docteur, ma mère est comptable, mon frère est ingénieur, ma sœur est commerçante et moi-même je suis cultivateur et politicien. Notre plat favori est la Banku avec la sauce de gombo. Nous sommes chrétiens donc nous allons à l’église chaque dimanche. Mes parents dont riches et bien honorés dans la société et nous les enfants sommes très respectueux. J’aime beaucoup ma famille.

Try Yourself With This Exercise In not more than 180 words, describe your family to a friend in French. Thank you for reading. Kindly share the lesson for others to also benefit from it. Do you have a suggestion or contribution to make? Kindly drop it in the comment box. Merci.

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How to Say “My Female Friend” in French: A Comprehensive Guide

When it comes to expressing relationships in a different language, finding the right words can be both exciting and challenging. If you want to refer to your female friend in French, there are several ways to do so. In this guide, we will explore the formal and informal ways to say “my female friend” in French, providing tips, examples, and even regional variations where applicable.

Formal Expressions

When addressing your female friend in a formal setting or using polite language, you can use the following expressions:

1. Mon amie This straightforward expression means “my friend” in formal French. It can be used to refer to both male and female friends. For example: – Je voudrais vous présenter mon amie, Sophie. (I would like to introduce you to my friend, Sophie.) – Mon amie travaille à l’hôpital. (My friend works at the hospital.)

2. Mon amie proche If you want to emphasize the closeness of your friendship, you can add the word “proche” which means “close.” This expression is particularly useful when you want to highlight the depth of your connection. For example: – Je considère Marie comme mon amie proche. (I consider Marie as my close friend.) – J’ai passé une journée agréable avec mon amie proche. (I had a pleasant day with my close friend.)

Informal Expressions

When you are in a casual or friendly context, you can opt for these informal expressions to refer to your female friend:

1. Ma pote Using “ma pote” is a relaxed way to say “my friend” in French among friends. It is an abbreviation of “copine” or “ami(e).” – Je vais sortir avec ma pote ce soir. (I’m going out with my friend tonight.) – Ma pote est géniale ! (My friend is awesome!)

2. Ma meilleure amie If your female friend holds a special place in your life and you want to express that she is your “best friend,” you can use “ma meilleure amie.” It signifies a deeper bond, similar to the English concept of a “best friend.” – J’ai rencontré ma meilleure amie à l’école maternelle. (I met my best friend in kindergarten.) – Ma meilleure amie est là pour moi dans les bons et les mauvais moments. (My best friend is there for me in good times and bad.)

Regional Variations

The French language has some regional variations in the way people express “my female friend.” While the above expressions are widely understood throughout the francophone world, it’s interesting to note some variations:

1. In Quebecois French, you may come across the term “mon chum” or “mon blonde,” which means “my boyfriend” or “my girlfriend.” Though it varies from person to person and context, individuals may use these terms to refer to close friends regardless of the gender. However, it’s important to note that this usage is specific to Quebec.

Remember that regional variations may not be as widely recognized outside their specific areas, so it’s advisable to stick to the common expressions mentioned earlier to avoid confusion.

General Tips

1. Intonation and Context:

The way you say these expressions can significantly affect the meaning and perceived closeness between you and your female friend. Pay attention to your tone of voice, facial expressions, and the context in which you use these terms. They can convey different nuances.

2. Adjusting for Gender:

When using the expressions mentioned above, remember that they are gender-neutral and can also be applied to male friends. In French, using the masculine forms for mixed-gender groups or when referring to individuals of unknown gender is a common grammatical practice.

3. Personal Titles and Names:

Another way to refer to your female friend without using explicit expressions is by addressing her by name or using respectful titles such as “Mademoiselle” (Miss) or “Madame” (Mrs.). This approach adds a level of politeness while maintaining a warm tone.

Now you have a range of options to express “my female friend” in French. Whether you want to be formal or informal, close or affectionate, there is an expression that suits your needs. Remember to consider the context, adjust for gender if necessary, and enjoy the richness of the French language as you navigate the beautiful realm of friendships.

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Guest Essay

Saying Goodbye to My Brilliant Friend, the Poetry Critic Helen Vendler

By Roger Rosenblatt

The author, most recently, of “Cataract Blues: Running the Keyboard.”

One makes so few new friends in older age — I mean, real friends, the ones you bond with and hold dear, as if you’d known one another since childhood.

Old age often prevents, or at least tempers, such discoveries. The joy of suddenly finding someone of compatible tastes, politics, intellectual interests and sense of humor can be shadowed, if tacitly, by the inevitable prospect of loss.

I became friends with Helen Vendler — the legendary poetry critic who died last week — six years ago, after she came to a talk I gave at Harvard about my 1965-66 Fulbright year in Ireland. Our friendship was close at the outset and was fortified and deepened by many letters between us, by our writing.

Some critics gain notice by something new they discover in the literature they examine. Helen became the most important critic of the age by dealing with something old and basic — the fact that great poetry was, well, lovable. Her vast knowledge of it was not like anyone else’s, and she embraced the poets she admired with informed exuberance.

The evening we met, Helen and I huddled together for an hour, maybe two, speaking of the great Celtic scholar John Kelleher, under whom we had both studied; of Irish poetry; and of our families. Helen was born to cruelly restrictive Irish Catholic parents who would not think of her going to anything but a Catholic college. When Helen rebelled against them, she was effectively tossed out and never allowed to return home.

She told me all this at our very first meeting. And I told her the sorrows of my own life — the untimely death of my daughter, Amy, and the seven-plus years my wife, Ginny, and I spent helping to rear her three children. And I told Helen unhappy things about my own upbringing. The loneliness. I think we both sensed that we had found someone we could trust with our lives.

I never asked Helen why she had come to my talk in the first place, though I had recognized her immediately. After spending a life with English and American poetry — especially the poetry of Wallace Stevens — how could I not? The alert tilt of her head, the two parenthetical lines around the mouth that always seemed on the verge of saying something meaningful and the sad-kind-wise eyes of the most significant literary figure since Edmund Wilson.

And unlike Wilson, Helen was never compelled to show off. She knew as much about American writing as Wilson, and, I believe, loved it more.

It was that, even more than the breadth and depth of her learning, that set her apart. She was a poet who didn’t write poetry, but felt it like a poet, and thus knew the art form to the core of her being. Her method of “close reading,” studying a poem intently word by word, was her way of writing it in reverse.

Weeks before Helen’s death and what would have been her 91st birthday, we exchanged letters. I had sent her an essay I’d just written on the beauty of wonder, stemming from the wonder so many people felt upon viewing the total solar eclipse earlier this month. I often sent Helen things I wrote. Some she liked less than others, and she was never shy to say so. She liked the essay on wonder, though she said she was never a wonderer herself, but a “hopeless pragmatist,” not subject to miracles, except upon two occasions. One was the birth of her son, David, whom she mentioned in letters often. She loved David deeply, and both were happy when she moved from epic Cambridge to lyrical Laguna Niguel, Calif., to be near him, as she grew infirm.

Her second miracle, coincidentally, occurred when Seamus Heaney drove her to see a solar eclipse at Tintern Abbey. There, among the Welsh ruins, Helen had an astonishing experience, one that she described to me in a way that seemed almost to evoke Wordsworth:

I had of course read descriptions of the phenomena of a total eclipse, but no words could equal the total-body/total landscape effect; the ceasing of bird song; the inexorability of the dimming to a crescent and then to a corona; the total silence; the gradual salience of the stars; the iciness of the silhouette of the towers; the looming terror of the steely eclipse of all of nature. Now that quelled utterly any purely “scientific” interest. One became pure animal, only animal, no “thought-process” being even conceivable.

One who claims not to know wonders shows herself to be one.

She was so intent on the beauty of the poets she understood so deeply, she never could see why others found her appreciations remarkable. Once, when I sent her a note complimenting her on a wonderfully original observation she’d made in a recent article, she wrote: “So kind of you to encourage me. I always feel that everything I say would be obvious to anyone who can read, so am always amazed when someone praises something.”

Only an innocent of the highest order would say such a beautiful, preposterous thing. When recently the American Academy of Arts and Letters awarded her the Gold Medal for Belle Lettres and Criticism, Helen was shocked.

“You could have floored me when I got the call,” she wrote to me, adding: “Perhaps I was chosen by the committee because of my advanced age; if so, I can’t complain. The quote that came to mind was Lowell’s ‘My head grizzled with the years’ gold garbage.’”

She was always doing that — attaching a quotation from poetry to a thought or experience of her own, as if she occupied the same room as all the great poets, living with them as closely as loved ones in a tenement.

Shelley called poets the “unacknowledged legislators of the world.” I never fully got that famous line. But if the legislators’ laws apply to feeling and conduct, I think he was onto something. If one reads poetry — ancient and modern — as deeply as Helen did, and stays with it, and lets it roll around in one’s head, the effect is transporting. You find yourself in a better realm of feeling and language. And nothing of the noisier outer world — not Donald Trump, not Taylor Swift — can get to you.

In our last exchange of letters, Helen told me about the death she was arranging for herself. I was brokenhearted to realize that I was losing someone who had given me and countless others so much thought and joy. Her last words to me were telling, though, and settled the matter as only practical, spiritual Helen could:

I feel not a whit sad at the fact of death, but massively sad at leaving friends behind, among whom you count dearly. I have always known what my true feelings are by whatever line of poetry rises unbidden to my mind on any occasion; to my genuine happiness, this time was a line from Herbert’s “Evensong,” in which God (always in Herbert, more like Jesus than Jehovah), says to the poet, “Henceforth repose; your work is done.”

She closed her letter as I closed my response. “Love and farewell.”

Roger Rosenblatt is the author, most recently, of “Cataract Blues: Running the Keyboard.”

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words)

A best friend is a special and unforgettable person in our lives and will stay longer than other common friends. We share most of the things, conversations, and important talks and support them anytime in our lives.

In this topic, we are discussing the best friend and the memories that we all spent with our friends and best friends. 

We have covered an essay pattern in various paragraphs of around 100 words, 200 words, 300 words, and 500 words, respectively, that helps many of the children or students of class 2 to 12th to understand the short and descriptive essay pattern of the best friend.

Table of Contents

My Best Friend Essay 100 Words

I always thank God that he sent Rahul into my life as my best friend, and I also wish that everyone has a friend like Rahul. Rahul and I met on the first day of school after the summer vacation when we were studying in the 5th standard.

I also remember an incident when our class teacher asked him about his previous school and the place from where he came. He is a good speaker, and he gave an interesting answer to everyone in his introduction in class. 

He is good at studies and also a good athlete. He loves running and singing too, and his handwriting is also very neat and clean. I feel happy to become his friend, and he also loves my company, and we spend most of our time together.

My Best Friend Essay 200 Words

I have had a lot of friends since childhood, but Raghav is one of the kindest and most trustworthy friends for me. I must say that Rohan has been my best friend since childhood. He is a very good person and a true friend because he has a good manner that he never lies to anyone, and hates people who lie to him. He is a kind boy and also a sincere student. We both live in the same building, and our apartments are also in front of each other. 

My parents also met my friend in the school at the parents-teachers meeting, and they also like Raghav and his sincerity. We both have been in the same class from the 3rd standard until now. We are in the 10th standard now, and we both help each other in the preparation for Board exams, which will be held in the month of March. 

He always invites me to his house to play video games with him. Every Sunday, we both enjoy playing video games with popcorn and juice together. Sometimes, our school teachers also wonder about our true friendship and the strong bond between us. He has a set of badminton rackets and a shuttle, and we also play together in the evening near our building. We both love each other’s company.

My Best Friend Essay 300 Words

Everyone has at least a single friend who is more than just a friend to them. Getting a friend is common, but getting a true friend is very rare and a bit special. It is like a big achievement for people to get a trustworthy and lifelong best friend. I also had a best friend in my life too since childhood. His name is Ganaraj, and his mother is Telugu. We are neighbors too and also classmates. We always sit together in school and also spend most of the time together. 

He is a very talented person and always supports me in my studies. We both like mathematics, and also we love to solve maths numerical problems. I like to play games, and we both always play games together and participate in the sports that are held in school. Our favorite sport is Cricket, and we both are good all-rounders on our school cricket team. Our class teacher always suggests and supports us to play cricket even better and also helps in education to achieve success in life.

He is very valuable to me, and I always value his friendship as I value my parents. He is like my family, as a brother from another mother. Whenever I need his help and support, my best friend is there for me to hold me. We both live in the precious moment and create memories that will stay with me forever. Our friendship is a kind of beautiful relationship, and I hope any kind will never break these mistakes. Every Sunday, we go together to a playground near our locality, and we spend most of our time there. My parents also like Ganaraj to be my friend. Everyone is happy with our friendship and has a strong bond that never goes down in any situation.

My Best Friend Essay 500 Words

My best friend’s name is Siddhart Jadhav. We have been friends since class 7th A in Alfred Nobel High School. We both studied in the same school in childhood but not in the same class as our sections are different. Later that time, all the students from all the sections are sorted according to the previous academics’ percentages and grades and separated into four different sections. Due to this separation, I met Siddhart in the 7th A, and we became friends at that time. Later, time goes by, and our friendship bond becomes stronger, and we become best friends with each other and spend most of our time together in school, tuition, and extra classes. We also sit on the same bench in the classroom. 

Our likes and dislikes are also common, and we also love to dance and sing. In every annual gathering and other function that is held in our school, we both participate and give our best performances. We never wanted to win the competitions, our intention was to enjoy the gathering. Some of our school teachers don’t like our togetherness and friendship, but some of them loved and always blessed our strong bonded friendship to stay longer and longer. Siddharth and I always talked in the running classroom, and most of the time, our teacher also punished both of us by standing outside the classroom. We always tried to irritate the lecturer in the chemistry lectures by asking tons of doubts and questions. We eat tiffin boxes sitting on the last benches.

Apart from this naughtiness, Siddharth is very punctual, and he is never late for coming to school and attending classes. He always completes his homework at a given time and being with him, I also start studying very well and completing my homework on time. He keeps his books and copies very clean. His writing is very nice and encourages me to write cleanly and clearly for better understanding. My parents also compliment my friend that being with him, I also become responsible and a good student.

Siddharth and I are both excellent football players and athletes. When we both start playing the football game, the opponent team never wins. Our sports teacher always motivates us and tells us that we will become good football players one day. My parents also know Siddharth very much, and they like his pleasant behavior. Feel free when Siddharth and I stay together, whether for playing games, video games, study, or for going out to have fun with other classmates. Siddharth is my best friend, my first friend. He is the one who offers me help in my studies when I need it, supports me and always shows love to me, defends me, and stands by my side in any situation no matter what. 

In academics, my best friend, Siddharth, is chosen to be awarded the best student of the year in the 10th class. He is one of the brilliant students of our school and also won many of the competitions that were held in school. He is like a well-wisher, and I always enjoyed his company. He, too, feels secure and relieved by spending time with me as well. He is like a problem-solving friend to me. I never wanted to lose him in my life.

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Reading Sylvia Plath and my dead friend’s Instagram

We were plath girls in our youth. claiming her was a way to elevate our teenage sadness from cliché to literary, by lilly dancyger.

From the book " FIRST LOVE: Essays on Friendship " by Lilly Dancyger. Copyright © 2024 by Lilly Dancyger. Published by The Dial Press, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.

Heather had invited me over to her apartment in Inwood several times in the last year or so, but for one reason or another, the scheduling had never worked out. We kept promising each other, “soon.” Now I was finally here, for the first time, to help pack up her things. She’d been dead for a week.

I scanned the stacks of books teetering against one wall, not on shelves but layered like bricks, and a slim off-white spine called to me: Sylvia Plath’s "Ariel." It felt like a morbidly appropriate souvenir of this day.

Heather was a definite Plath Girl as a teenager. I was too — just two of countless teenage girls since the ’60s to proclaim our love for the bracing and violent "Ariel" poems, and "The Bell Jar," Plath’s fictionalized account of her first mental breakdown, suicide attempt and institutionalization — a not-at-all-subtle way of making sure the world knew we were in pain. “I just really identify with Esther Greenwood,” we’d tell adults: a threat. Claiming Plath was a way to elevate our teenage sadness from pedestrian and expected and cliché to literary, tragic, romantic. To tie our early-aughts angst to a dignified and important history.

We weren’t the first or the last teenage girls to romanticize sadness and tragedy, of course. Before Plath there were Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson and the Brontë sisters, each with her own morose devotees.

More recently, there was the “sad girl aesthetic” era of Tumblr — young women posting photos of themselves with mascara tears running down their cheeks, or black-and-white selfies in which they’re staring mournfully into the distance, with quotes about depression and existential ennui for captions. The social media sad girl has a very specific tone — the inherent vulnerability of expressing sadness coated in a protective gloss of sardonic humor and irony. Alongside the dramatic crying selfies, sad girl Tumblr pages were full of simple, morose statements like “I hate my life” written in glittery pink cursive or pastels, the cheerful presentation clashing with the message to strike the discordant note central to so much internet humor.

When I got home from packing up Heather’s apartment, I wrote “Heather’s” on the title page of her copy of “Ariel” in small, neat script, as if I could forget. I started to read it, but only got as far as “Lady Lazarus,” five poems in — to the line about meaning to “last it out and not come back at all” —  before the connection to Heather felt too painfully literal. I closed the worn paperback and slid it onto a shelf, where it would sit unopened for years.

Claiming Plath was a way to elevate our teenage sadness from pedestrian and expected and cliché to literary, tragic, romantic.

The tragedy of her death mingling with the brilliance of her poetry made Plath an icon, but it also made her sadness and her tragic end her defining traits. It wasn’t until decades later that a new generation of Plath scholars would advocate for dimension in readings of her work — pushing fans to celebrate her birthday rather than her death date, publishing analyses and close readings of her poems about bees rather than only the ones that evoke death and violence. “The public perception of Plath as a witchy death-goddess had been born and would not soon die,” Plath biographer Heather Clark writes.

I don’t want to flatten Heather in this way — as sure as I am that she would absolutely relish the title “witchy death-goddess.” It’s too easy to remember her as a sad girl because of her sad death. To rewrite her life, starting with the end. But there was so much more to her than that.

She carried herself with the ease of a beautiful woman, swinging her hips and not blushing at raunchy jokes, when the rest of us were still awkward girls.

She was proud of being Jewish and proud of being Chinese and she delighted in the exploration of both sides of her heritage, through study and food and fashion — cooking noodle kugel in a qipao and calling herself a “Lower East Side special.”

She had this guffawing laugh — not the cackle that cracked the air around her when someone else said something funny, but a single goofy exhaled chuckle, the laugh she laughed after she said something she thought was funny. It was so totally incongruous with the hot girl it emanated from, so unexpectedly and endearingly dopey, you couldn’t help but laugh at her laughing at her own joke.

These are the things I most want to remember about Heather.

But the sadness was such a big part of who she was, of how she saw herself and how she moved through the world, it would be as much a disservice to her to gloss over it as it would be to let it take over my memory of her completely.

The first time Heather called me in the middle of the night saying she wanted to kill herself, I treated it like an emergency.

It’s too easy to remember her as a sad girl because of her sad death. To rewrite her life, starting with the end.

I woke up to my phone buzzing on the table next to my bed, confused. It was past three in the morning. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and cleared my throat before answering urgently, “Hello?”

On the other side of the line, Heather sobbed. When she finally spoke, it was more of a wail, “I wanna die!”

I offered to come to her, asked if she wanted to come to me, asked if I should call an ambulance, but I realized quickly that she didn’t want to be rescued, she just wanted to be heard. She wanted someone to know how much she was hurting. So I listened. I got back into bed and lay down, but didn’t close my eyes.

“I love you,” I said. “I’m so glad you’re alive. I’m so sorry.”

Eventually her sobs slowed to sniffles. I asked if she thought she’d be able to sleep and she sighed, “Yeah.” When I woke up again a few hours later, there was a text from her: “Thanks. Feeling better. Love you. <3”

But that call was just the first of many.

They all played out the same way, but after the third, or fourth, or twentieth time over the next few years, my responses lost some of their urgency. I stopped fearing that her life was truly at stake and came to understand the calls to be a release valve. They became routine. Then they became overwhelming. I started to run out of ways to tell her to go back to therapy, to take her meds; to reassure her that she was loved and yes, she would be missed if she died — desperately. I could sense her wariness, not wanting to give me more of her pain than I could handle. I would never stop taking her calls, but she could tell they were wearing on me, that I didn’t know what else to say.

Eventually, the calls stopped.

I learned after she died that I was one of several people who got these calls — she rotated between us, trying not to dump too much on any one person. But still, one by one, we ’d all burned out. We all reported the same thing to each other, after: “Eventually, she stopped calling.”

In the year before her death, when she’d run out of people to call in the middle of the night, Heather started venting her sadness on Instagram instead. She posted frequently, mostly memes about mental illness and extreme close-ups of her face, bleary-eyed like she’d been crying. Slack, expressionless. Wearing too much makeup. Her posts made me uncomfortable.

We’d posted all kinds of dark s**t on our LiveJournals back in the day, sure — but Instagram was different, less anonymous. And we were adults now, with professional jobs. I also didn’t yet fully understand what her recent bipolar diagnosis meant; how much was out of her control. I judged her for being such a mess.

Layered over that visceral reaction was a more conscious understanding that I was wrong — that she could post whatever she wanted — and I didn’t like myself for judging her. So rather than staying in the cycle of having a knee-jerk negative reaction each time I scrolled past a new lurid selfie and then feeling guilty for recoiling, I unfollowed her. (This was before Instagram had a “mute” option.)

I know that Heather’s Instagram isn’t a work of art on par with “Ariel.” But it was a hurting woman’s connection to the world; it was how she expressed herself.

Of course, after Heather died, I wanted to go back and scroll through all of those selfies, to examine them like clues, to see if maybe there was a caption that would feel like a message from beyond death, like Plath’s “Dying/ Is an art.” But she’d locked her account, so I couldn’t re-follow after she died. It took seven years for me to swallow my guilt and ask our friend Sydney to take screenshots of some of Heather’s posts and send them to me.

I remembered Heather’s feed as one bleary-eyed, desperate-looking selfie after another, hard to look at and hard to look away from. But in the month before she died, I notice when Sydney sends me a folder full of screenshots, there were only a few of these. I find them beautiful now — not for their tragedy, but just because they’re my friend’s beautiful face. They don’t look as dramatic as I remembered. Interspersed with these selfies is a perfectly normal-looking amalgam of glimpses of her life: a sign for evening services at her synagogue, a spread of new paints, a David Foster Wallace meme, a tattoo she liked of a sloth’s face and the words “Live slow, Die whenever,” and an absolutely stunning black-and-white photograph of her in which her hair is curled and her eyebrows darkened, and she looks like a Wong Kar-wai heroine.

Twelve days before she died, Heather posted a smiling photo of herself with the caption “One week. Different world. Different mood. Different me. Living proof. Things do get better.” I scanned back through her posts and saw that seven days earlier she’d posted two depressed-looking selfies; one of her in bed, her hair covering her eyes, her mouth slack; another of her holding a cigarette, staring blank and expressionless past the camera. But it’s the smiling “Things do get better” post that gets me in the gut. To see that she was trying, that she had hope, even, just 12 days before she decided there would be no hope for her ever again. In this picture, she’s smiling, but her eyes are glassy, with dark circles under them. I can see the strain, the effort it took her to feel optimistic. Or maybe I can only see that now, looking back, knowing she’d be dead less than two weeks later. Would Plath’s reference to carbon monoxide in “A Birthday Present” (“Sweetly, sweetly I breathe in”) feel as ominous if you didn’t know she died exactly that way soon after writing it?

I know that Heather’s Instagram isn’t a work of art on par with “Ariel.” But it was a hurting woman’s connection to the world; it was how she expressed herself. And now it’s an archive rich with posthumous meaning. So I don’t think the comparison is that much of a stretch, actually.

Heather’s last post ever is a meme, white text against a dark purple background: “i put the hot in psychotic.” A decade later, this meme and the bleak black-and-white selfies are clearly recognizable as pitch-perfect examples of the sad girl aesthetic. Heather didn’t have a Tumblr account, as far as I know, but she embodied the aesthetic on her Instagram right at the time when it started to spill over onto that platform and others beyond its birthplace.

Today, the once-controversial jokes of the online sad girl are ubiquitous far beyond their original little corner of the internet, with people posting casually about depression and dissociation on their otherwise professional Twitter accounts. The Reddit group r/depressionmemes — a mix of the general “lol life is pain” brand of memes you can expect to find on other social media, and posts that directly express, if in meme form, suicidal ideation — has tens of thousands of members. And the sad girl lives on in yet another generation on TikTok, where “#SadTok” videos of (still pretty, young, mostly white) girls looking into the camera as tears roll down their cheeks have millions and millions of views.

If jokes about wanting to die are so casual now, how are we supposed to know when somebody means it?

When Heather and I loudly proclaimed our misery as teenagers, we were signaling our separation from the herd, our rejection of the social standard. Declaring that we saw the world clearly enough to see how f**ked up everything was, even if the powers that be didn’t want us to notice. But these sentiments aren’t subversive anymore — they’re almost assumed as a baseline.

This sense that everyone is depressed feels like it’s at least in part a reaction to the political climate and the literal climate of the last few years; the pervasive feeling that the world is ending, for real this time. Impending fascism, global pandemic, daily mass shootings and frequent catastrophic weather events have primed us all for malaise. And there’s something cathartic about how normal it feels now to say out loud that everything feels hopeless and you’re not sure you’re going to live much longer. But I also can’t help but think of Heather these days when I see one internet acquaintance after another post about being too depressed to cook — not as if this were a dire state to be in, but as a casual way to ask for recommendations of easy recipes; or express their enjoyment of new music by any of the new guard of sad girls like Mitski, Lucy Dacus and Phoebe Bridgers by posting about how hard they’re crying. It all feels so normal that it doesn’t worry me at all. But the fact that it doesn’t worry me sometimes worries me. If jokes about wanting to die are so casual now, how are we supposed to know when somebody means it?

The internet makes it difficult to tell what’s real. This is a common conversation in terms of presenting only our most manicured selves, especially on Instagram — the most aspirational of the mainstream social media platforms. The prevalence of posts about depression feels like a reaction to the too-perfect online aesthetic that developed with rise of influencers. People are rejecting the shiny illusion and trying to show each other that sometimes our hair is dirty and our desks are cluttered and our coffee doesn’t have little foam hearts on it; that sometimes we even want to die. But even when people try to post about the messy, ugly, real stuff, it still feels like a manicured presentation. Like it’s all still curated and put on for consumption, another lever to pull in adjusting how we want to be seen by the world. So much so that even a depression that will soon lead to suicide can feel, through the filter of social media, like content.

Heather wasn’t just sad, she was prone to severe depression. But because being a sad girl had been part of how she presented herself to the world for so long, it seemed like she could go on posting mental illness memes and playing “Crazy” on the jukebox at the bar forever and ultimately she’d be OK.

If you are in crisis, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.

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Lilly Dancyger is the author of " First Love: Essays on Friendship ," and " Negative Space ." She lives in New York City, and is a 2023 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellow in nonfiction from The New York Foundation for the Arts. Find her on Instagram at @lillydancyger and Substack at The Word Cave.

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